Depressed and looking for help

[FrancisK]

I've been where you are, I had just turned 30 and thought my life was over after I found out the bitch was cheating on me the whole time. Out of sight out of mind works I don't care what anyone says. Definitely make a life change, move to a nice downtown style area where you can walk outside your bachelor pad to restaurants and bars. Start taking weekend trips to party destinations and enjoy yourself, even if it's by yourself you will eventually make friends, get some fresh pussy and have fun. Also HIT THE GYM HARD, looking good will make you feel good about yourself. Try to put yourself out there and make a new circle of friends, fucken force it and be fake if you have to at first but just do it.

I know everyone will say oh those things are superficial and won't solve the problems but that's bullshit because the problems are in your head, they are not physical things the physical part is done, and the only way to change your head is to change your life. I was fucked up for a long time and thought life was over about some similar shit as you, you need to make a change in your life and put yourself out there. Right now your life is based on the old things that fucked you up, time to base it on new things. I got better after that shit happened to me, I'm 34 now and I look better, feel better, have more fun, have better friends, have more money and get more pussy than I could ever imagined I could have. I'm one of the baddest mother fuckers of all time and you will be too, you just have to fucken do it.

Also don't jump into a relationship just to make yourself feel better, date and fuck around of course but don't jump for another girl. Trust me you will only end up worse in the end if you do that and it will all be fake because you're just trying to replace what you lost and you can't replace it, you can only move on and get over it.

Don't wait, get your shit in order and move on with your life. Change everything if you have to just get over this shit as fast as you can because you have more life to live than you could fathom you just can't see it yet, it's waiting for you.

 

[pesty4077]

Your insecurity will go with you no matter where you move too. Like Kaladryn said, you have to be happy with yourself first. Being Independent is what gets you the better women. They will see you don't really need them to function in your life and respect that.

 

[taz]

If i can jump in with my .02.
I was married in my late 20's. Divorced by my early 30's.
I am now married for the 2nd time. And this time it is much much better.

But I also know at least 4 guys that I am friends with who told me that they didnt find real and true LOVE until they were in their 40's. They said they didnt even know what they wanted or how to ask for it until then. They said that they felt personally more in control of their own happiness by then which is what made those later in life relationships so intensely strong.

Ill also point this out. When I was really depressed (which still happens sometimes honestly). I try to immerse myself in the speeches and teachings of Dr Eric Thomas, Grant Cardone (his early stuff), and Dr Stephen Covey. By putting those things in practice and learning perspective I have been able to responsibly deal with my issues and find good ways to deal with them.

I also want to recommend one more thing that I truly and completely believe could be a great help to you. Many years ago I had something very hurtful happen that nearly put me over the edge. I turned to Muay Thai kickboxing and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu to help take my mind off it. And I never looked back. I had found a new community of friends. A new passion to immerse myself into. I was learning something that I absolutely loved and it gave me absolute self confidence and self esteem.

I am a firm believer that the Arts can help anyone. But Muay Thai is hard to find in many areas so I highly suggest you find a good Gracie Jiu Jitsu school and join it. Jiu Jitsu is something you have to do often to get good at and the community is exceptional. No matter where you go you will have friends. Most importantly, you will learn something that helps you get within your own mind and soul. You will find a new connection internally and it will change your life.

 

[alfresco]

well . . .

npcout,

My opinion is that you should seek professional
help. Nobody here has all the answers and does
not know you as a trained professional will if
you stick with the therapy. We are only getting
what you tell us (surface), not that I doubt what
you are saying as your post is a definite cry
for help which I think we all take seriously.

I wish you all the best and know that you can
feel better and that there is a resolution to
what is troubling you.

 

[johnjuanb1]

Yeah, I think a pet would be good as long as taking care of it isn't too much for you. I think a cat would be great. We have 3. With cats you can go away on a 3 day weekend and just leave them alone with plenty of food, water, and perhaps a second clean litter box. They take care of themselves very well. With a dog youll have to worry about someone letting the dog out etc.

Man, I’m once I did that and when i came home my cat was freaking out because her food was covered with ants and she hadn’t eaten in days. I still have nightmares about it.

 

[aphextwin]

I got divorced at 42 and addicted to Kratom. I ended up walking out on a very high paying job, bc I really couldn't take the stress and the pain anymore. I never have talked about my Kratom addiction to anyone except on this forum. Man, divorce is a bitch....it's painful,,,even if it's the right thing.

Time does heal all pain

 

[FrancisK]

I love you guys but you're all wrong, take it from someone who has been exactly where he is. OP needs to party, get new pussy and make new friends, learn to be a badass all over again. He needs to to change his life because right now it's stuck in the same mode it was before, only all that shit fell apart so there is no reason to stick with any part of that old life.

I sat around on my ass moping and hating everything about life for a year before I learned this, don't make the mistake I did.

 

[Matsuo Munefusa]

I love you guys but you're all wrong, take it from someone who has been exactly where he is. OP needs to party, get new pussy and make new friends, learn to be a badass all over again. He needs to to change his life because right now it's stuck in the same mode it was before, only all that shit fell apart so there is no reason to stick with any part of that old life.

I sat around on my ass moping and hating everything about life for a year before I learned this, don't make the mistake I did.

I totally agree with you. I think it is borderline delusional that people are suggesting he stay in his home town at his parent's house and get therapy. I love my parents and they are great people but I would go crazy if I had to live there and work a job and go to therapy with no friends in town. I think anybody would lol.

By all means start therapy (it takes awhile to find the right therapist anyway so may as well start sooner rather than later) but you have the PERFECT job to move somewhere awesome in the states you've always thought about. So find a therapist after you've moved somewhere. Group yourself together, make a plan, give your parents the courtesy of talking to them and including their ideas in your plan (at least listen to them), and execute the plan.

You can always return to your home town in a year or so if you want after having a nice adventure living somewhere awesome and having fun making new friends and meeting new girls

 

[LK3]

lol
dont misenterprate what i said...
i COULD NEVER live where im from! lol
absolutley no way, id be dead or very sick and hating life.

the world i live in could not be much further from where im from
so 100% if you are stuck in small town rural america, that could be a BIG part o the problem.

that is 100% true.
cold weather too? lol
fuck that!

but thats all part of figureing out what you want.
who am i to judge if happyness for this guy is a small town and picket fence.

either way small town, big city, doesnt matter unless inside stuff is dealt with in some way ground hawg day is a comin.

miami beach, middle of iowa...can still do the internal.

 

[Bser1776]

Have gone through some similar problems myself and am 34 years old. Sometimes being single is the best thing. You can work on yourself. Take lessons, learn new things. I learned guitar, flying a plane, karate, ect. Develop yourself and you will find you don't need someone else for happiness. It is scary at first but you will be fine. Hang in there man.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

 

[hawkmoon]

Be patient, it takes time and you never know what is around the corner. man old timers here know my story...it was very rough.

But here I am, eight years now married to the most amazing woman I could ever hope to meet. I wasn't looking for her, I didn't expect her, but there she was.

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[maldorf]

Man, I’m once I did that and when i came home my cat was freaking out because her food was covered with ants and she hadn’t eaten in days. I still have nightmares about it.

Dang, never had that before! Poor cat.

 

[STEVO 47]

Dang, never had that before! Poor cat.

Mine just passed after 12 years. Thing is, at the time she started her signs of sickness I started using Rogaine and found out that it is highly toxic to cats. They don't carry the enzyme to break down chemical minoxidil. Had know idea and tried to keep her away much as possible but she went into the bathroom after a treatment and you could smell the stuff in the air. asked the vet during her examinations and tests and he said he never heard of that being the case but wasn't sure. Also said she may have had stomach cancer but she was too far gone for further testing and they wouldn't be able to help her anyway. Put her to sleep two weeks ago today. What bothers me is I may have been the cause of her passing. If it was it sure as hell didn't take long to kill her. I'm saying this for you guys with cats read up on it and be careful if you ever decide to use it with cats around. And yes cats make a great pet...