Depression

[LIFTW8S]

If you were in Southern California I'd get your ass motivated!

On a serious note bro, one step at a time. The gym can wait, just work on self betterment and everything will fall into place.

 

[massmonster32]

Sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. Believe me everyone goes through phases of feeling depressed and down. Every relationship I have ever had due to my job Military goes to crap when I deploy.

The thing that keeps me going is keeping busy. Keeping busy doesn't leave you much time to think about how much the situation sucks.

Then when trying to keep busy when you least expect it someone else comes into your life. I am not the best at this at times are hard right now for myself. But new doors will open hang in there if you ever need to talk just hit me up. MM

 

[Steem]

Here are couple things that you have to try to understand and learn -

The way that you are feeling like this isn't your fault, and it's ok to feel like that (millions do, trust me) the roots of your depression most likely go to your childhood. It's important to understand that you can not blame your parents (or guardians) for whatever reasons, or for whatever happened at that time. Lack of love to a child (most cases) could be the case. It is important not to blame your family because they have raised you the way they were taught, and the same way were raised their parents and it goes on and on deep into the past... You have to forgive and be compassionate.

Now...

YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF, FORGIVE YOURSELF, ACCEPT YOURSELF, and most important KNOW YOURSELF (be connected with true you). Then your soul will smile again. You will find peace and harmony, and only you know what will make you happy.

VERY IMPORTANT: No one should be responsible for your happiness. NO ONE! You must love yourself before you love another. No one will be able to love you or give/share with you their love and happiness unless you love yourself, give to yourself. You can not be respected if you do not respect yourself - remember people that surround you are the reflections of you (mirrors).

Read on how to love yourself also learn who you really are, know yourself. Stop watching TV, don't listen to that crap radio that talks only about sex, clubs, and bear, stop reading/watching all those negative/manipulative news and magazines.

Find out who you really are, what makes YOU happy, or what WOULD make YOU happy. Get connected with the nature, try to meditate but do not force it if you don't feel like it. YES, you will have to be egoistic here, stop doing things that you do not want to do, but still do because someone told you or because everyone does that. STOP for a second and ask yourself DO YOU REALLY WANT TO DO THIS? WHY?

For example on Friday or Saturday night everyone goes to the clubs/bars and you start to feel that anxiety - stop and think for a second do you really want to go there? Do you really want to hang out today, drink, party? Do you really want to go to the beach/park on Saturday. Stop and ask yourself what you really want to do at this PRESENT moment - maybe you don't even want to read this board?! Maybe you are tired of lifting weights and working out 4-5 times per week. ASK yourself WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WOULD HAVE 1 month left to live your life? Where would YOU go? What/who would you see? WHY? What if it's only two weeks left? What would you do then?!

Remember, you have to love yourself be conscious, be at the present moment, let go the past, be full of love and joy, and you will see how other people will start get around you, they will feel the positive energy, some kind of aura (call it if you like) that flows from you. Because at that moment when you will have so much love and joy, and happiness - you will start to share unconsciously all this positiveness with others. You will notice how other people will want to talk to you, they will want to touch you (I'm serious ), also unconsciously... they will be attracted to you and will want to spend time with you.

Be simple! You are already unique! Nature is very simple and beautiful do not try to be somebody else because it's unnatural it's fake and gross.

STOP faking those smiles, stop faking! if your sad and the girl asks you why you are so sad or tired (most guys will go with automatic answer "What? No I'm not sad... no, no, no I'm just blah blah blah....") be honest say yes I am sad, yes I'm tired, be honest, be honest with yourself - what do you have to hide? What are you afraid of (fear is another big topic)?

Here, try to doing this, you will love it! - Try to catch your actions (yourself) on different occasions or things that you do (even when you wash your dishes feel how that water flows down your arms be present), you will notice that most of your actions are automatic/programmed you act like robot be conscious, be loving, wake up!

Let's say you're walking down the street and some random girl asks you "Would you please tell me what is the time right now?" (normally most guys would just glance at their watch, then say it quickly and run away fearfully of god know what) try to stop for a second, be calm, look into her eyes and say "No" then smile immediately and see her reaction - she will smile, then say the time quickly and watch straight into her eyes see her reaction.. I mean be different! (or if she asks you to take a picture say "NO" play with her, play with your life! make nasty face and say NO haha, then again smile quickly and say "sure why not"... etc) Try to shock people, everywhere you go, even at work, it can be anyone. Waitress, bartenders, anywhere! Shock them because most people are not used to it they are sleeping just like you, be conscious and awake. Be present and observe.

Feel free to ask questions.
I could write much more but rather will give you some stuff to read, and I'm not saying that you have to read it, remember it's all about you now

 

[Papa Van Smack]

Here are couple things that you have to try to understand and learn -

The way that you are feeling like this isn't your fault, and it's ok to feel like that (millions do, trust me) the roots of your depression most likely go to your childhood. It's important to understand that you can not blame your parents (or guardians) for whatever reasons, or for whatever happened at that time. Lack of love to a child (most cases) could be the case. It is important not to blame your family because they have raised you the way they were taught, and the same way were raised their parents and it goes on and on deep into the past... You have to forgive and be compassionate.

Now...

YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF, FORGIVE YOURSELF, ACCEPT YOURSELF, and most important KNOW YOURSELF (be connected with true you). Then your soul will smile again. You will find peace and harmony, and only you know what will make you happy.

VERY IMPORTANT: No one should be responsible for your happiness. NO ONE! You must love yourself before you love another. No one will be able to love you or give/share with you their love and happiness unless you love yourself, give to yourself. You can not be respected if you do not respect yourself - remember people that surround you are the reflections of you (mirrors).

Read on how to love yourself also learn who you really are, know yourself. Stop watching TV, don't listen to that crap radio that talks only about sex, clubs, and bear, stop reading/watching all those negative/manipulative news and magazines.

Find out who you really are, what makes YOU happy, or what WOULD make YOU happy. Get connected with the nature, try to meditate but do not force it if you don't feel like it. YES, you will have to be egoistic here, stop doing things that you do not want to do, but still do because someone told you or because everyone does that. STOP for a second and ask yourself DO YOU REALLY WANT TO DO THIS? WHY?

For example on Friday or Saturday night everyone goes to the clubs/bars and you start to feel that anxiety - stop and think for a second do you really want to go there? Do you really want to hang out today, drink, party? Do you really want to go to the beach/park on Saturday. Stop and ask yourself what you really want to do at this PRESENT moment - maybe you don't even want to read this board?! Maybe you are tired of lifting weights and working out 4-5 times per week. ASK yourself WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WOULD HAVE 1 month left to live your life? Where would YOU go? What/who would you see? WHY? What if it's only two weeks left? What would you do then?!

Remember, you have to love yourself be conscious, be at the present moment, let go the past, be full of love and joy, and you will see how other people will start get around you, they will feel the positive energy, some kind of aura (call it if you like) that flows from you. Because at that moment when you will have so much love and joy, and happiness - you will start to share unconsciously all this positiveness with others. You will notice how other people will want to talk to you, they will want to touch you (I'm serious ), also unconsciously... they will be attracted to you and will want to spend time with you.

Be simple! You are already unique! Nature is very simple and beautiful do not try to be somebody else because it's unnatural it's fake and gross.

STOP faking those smiles, stop faking! if your sad and the girl asks you why you are so sad or tired (most guys will go with automatic answer "What? No I'm not sad... no, no, no I'm just blah blah blah....") be honest say yes I am sad, yes I'm tired, be honest, be honest with yourself - what do you have to hide? What are you afraid of (fear is another big topic)?

Here, try to doing this, you will love it! - Try to catch your actions (yourself) on different occasions or things that you do (even when you wash your dishes feel how that water flows down your arms be present), you will notice that most of your actions are automatic/programmed you act like robot be conscious, be loving, wake up!

Let's say you're walking down the street and some random girl asks you "Would you please tell me what is the time right now?" (normally most guys would just glance at their watch, then say it quickly and run away fearfully of god know what) try to stop for a second, be calm, look into her eyes and say "No" then smile immediately and see her reaction - she will smile, then say the time quickly and watch straight into her eyes see her reaction.. I mean be different! (or if she asks you to take a picture say "NO" play with her, play with your life! make nasty face and say NO haha, then again smile quickly and say "sure why not"... etc) Try to shock people, everywhere you go, even at work, it can be anyone. Waitress, bartenders, anywhere! Shock them because most people are not used to it they are sleeping just like you, be conscious and awake. Be present and observe.

Feel free to ask questions.
I could write much more but rather will give you some stuff to read, and I'm not saying that you have to read it, remember it's all about you now

That helped me.....thank you. Very good stuff there.

 

[raw33man]

you need a girlfriend bro !

Go out and your goal is to get rejected... suck it up, walk it off, be a man

It aint about how hard you can hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and still move forward

 

[Elvia1023]

you need a girlfriend bro !

Go out and your goal is to get rejected... suck it up, walk it off, be a man

It aint about how hard you can hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and still move forward

If someone is depressed or going through something really bad I feel thats probably the worst thing to do. They put all their problems/insecurities onto that new person. He needs to respect and be happy with himself first. He should defo see a doctor asap.

But like I mentioned keeping busy and being active are important. If you don't feel like the gym then don't go. But going the gym can bring about many benefits (happy chemicals released etc) and if your used to going and suddenly stop you may feel even worse.

I hope it works out for you.

 

[MantusJohn]

If someone is depressed or going through something really bad I feel thats probably the worst thing to do. They put all their /insecurities onto that new person. He needs to respect and be happy with himself first.

I agree with both of you.

I think he does need a girlfriend, cause I really believe this will make
him feel better but, on the other hand, if he meets this girl with these
insecurities in his head she will be turned off and make him feel even worse.

See the doctor, get on the Paxil, and go make some babies.
No No only kiddin . .

Don't ever let a girl see your weaknesses unless you been with her
long enough to do so. How long is that? For me it's at least 8yrs
No just be a man around her even when feeling down. You can
tell her how you feel sometimes but don't show it

Listen to me like I am Casanova

I actually believe the shit that comes out
of my mouth most the time?

Mantus

 

[Steem]

There's another big thing - EGO. But lets not talk about it.

Girlfriend, sure might help, yes, rejection will make you stronger (emotionally) you might consider it as part of your "fun" game! (Then it's going to be fun)
Why not? Look at it as a growth not failure (in fact it is growth and maturness itself - spelling?).

Euphoria in the beginning of the relationship will pass, and after that you will face your emptiness and anxiety again.

You can run, hide, drink, party, have sex with 100's of woman, take drugs, watch shows day and night, keep yourself busy all the time - this will not help, because you're running from yourself. Stop and accept all that pain, face it! Be a man, cry if you need to (don't listen to that bullshit that man don't cry), release all those negative feelings, and you will see sun will shine again!

True love is when there's no "ownership" important to realize that no one belongs to you, and no one owes you anything. Same thing with you - you do not belong to anybody and you do not own anything to anybody. When you walk down the street and see the flower, you enjoy it, you see its beauty, and you love it, you smile and you're happy - the flower smiles back at you. But when you rip it off and bring it home - that's not love that's death, you're killing it. Love unconditionally!

Love is freedom, if your girl/ex found somebody new (or you got rejected) that doesn't mean necessarily that he's better. The question here is who is worst, she can even run to your driver and be happy with him! It's all about change, "the undiscovered territory" or the "grass is greener on the other side" and it can happen. But you have to be ok with that, you have to be happy for her, because she is happy!

Love is ultimate reality, a lot of people say god is love and I say love is god, and the highest power of all. You are here because of love, you train because of love, you brush your teeth because of love, everything that you do is because of love. Alright... enough

 

[MantusJohn]

There's another big thing - EGO. But lets not talk about it.

Girlfriend, sure might help, yes, rejection will make you stronger (emotionally) you might consider it as part of your "fun" game! (Then it's going to be fun)
Why not? Look at it as a growth not failure (in fact it is growth and maturness itself - spelling?).

Euphoria in the beginning of the relationship will pass, and after that you will face your emptiness and anxiety again.

You can run, hide, drink, party, have sex with 100's of woman, take drugs, watch shows day and night, keep yourself busy all the time - this will not help, because you're running from yourself. Stop and accept all that pain, face it! Be a man, cry if you need to (don't listen to that bullshit that man don't cry), release all those negative feelings, and you will see sun will shine again!

True love is when there's no "ownership" important to realize that no one belongs to you, and no one owes you anything. Same thing with you - you do not belong to anybody and you do not own anything to anybody. When you walk down the street and see the flower, you enjoy it, you see its beauty, and you love it, you smile and you're happy - the flower smiles back at you. But when you rip it off and bring it home - that's not love that's death, you're killing it. Love unconditionally!

Love is freedom, if your girl/ex found somebody new (or you got rejected) that doesn't mean necessarily that he's better. The question here is who is worst, she can even run to your driver and be happy with him! It's all about change, "the undiscovered territory" or the "grass is greener on the other side" and it can happen. But you have to be ok with that, you have to be happy for her, because she is happy!

Love is ultimate reality, a lot of people say god is love and I say love is god, and the highest power of all. You are here because of love, you train because of love, you brush your teeth because of love, everything that you do is because of love. Alright... enough

You want a bitch you gotta take her.

That's what Ice T would do

Mantus

 

[Steem]

You want a bitch you gotta take her.

That's what Ice T would do

Mantus

I'm not saying that you can't have her, of course you can! Enjoy it be present, have the most passionate sex, connect with each other and become one, feel it !

But do not play with it as it's your thing/property. This is brutal, not real, this is materialistic. This is why so many people are depressed, they try to own other person as it's their property like: "you're mine, mine!" Yes you can buy sex, you can make up with 100, this will rise your ego, give you more confidence, self-esteem, but it's not true love.

 

[raw33man]

they all say life is short, don't take life serious and shit like that

BUT Life is scary man !! it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it

HOW OLD ARE YOU ?

 

[Steem]

Next time they say that jump over the table and choke them

Trust me you will feel so much better

If it's not a chemical imbalance then just sometime going
on in your life.

Snap out of it, get on more gear, get to the gym .. Get some
pussy .. whatever you gotta do to feel better.

You get anxiety?

Mantus

Next time they say that jump over the table and choke them

Trust me you will feel so much better

love this one LOL

 

[MantusJohn]

I'm not saying that you can't have her, of course you can! Enjoy it be present, have the most passionate sex, connect with each other and become one, feel it !

But do not play with it as it's your thing/property. This is brutal, not real, this is materialistic. This is why so many people are depressed, they try to own other person as it's their property like: "you're mine, mine!" Yes you can buy sex, you can make up with 100, this will rise your ego, give you more confidence, self-esteem, but it's not true love.

I won't have sex with a girl if she drinks too much or if I don't like her
this will never make me feel like a man

I know what your saying and you are right and guys who try to
control a girl have low self esteem that's a fact whether they believe it or not

If my girl woke up one morning and said "honey I don't want to be with you
anymore, I would be upset/sad but what can I really do?

Not every girl wants me .. Sure I think they do but I am an EgoManiac
so I am told.

I treat them very good, I cook, clean, massage feet (that I can't take credit for cause I love feet) ... I will do whatever it takes to please all women I been with and even more for my girl now.

Sometimes I think she can get anyone she wants, but then I ask myself
"why would she want anyone else?"

My confidence is insane but I never think I am better than other guys
I just believe I have alot more confidence than alot of them

I've had girls ask me if I think I can get them to be with me and without
hesitation I say YES, without a doubt. They act stuck up at first but then
give in sooner or later

Confidence is key they love it

I never play girls. I couldn't if I wanted to cause I think they are so
amazing.

Soft skin, the way they smell, look, taste, soft voices ... they are really amazing but I keep myself in check long enough to feel them out cause
too much emotion too soon is not good

Mantus

 

[Steem]

I won't have sex with a girl if she drinks too much or if I don't like her
this will never make me feel like a man

I know what your saying and you are right and guys who try to
control a girl have low self esteem that's a fact whether they believe it or not

If my girl woke up one morning and said "honey I don't want to be with you
anymore, I would be upset/sad but what can I really do?

Not every girl wants me .. Sure I think they do but I am an EgoManiac
so I am told.

I treat them very good, I cook, clean, massage feet (that I can't take credit for cause I love feet) ... I will do whatever it takes to please all women I been with and even more for my girl now.

Sometimes I think she can get anyone she wants, but then I ask myself
"why would she want anyone else?"

My confidence is insane but I never think I am better than other guys
I just believe I have alot more confidence than alot of them

I've had girls ask me if I think I can get them to be with me and without
hesitation I say YES, without a doubt. They act stuck up at first but then
give in sooner or later

Confidence is key they love it

I never play girls. I couldn't if I wanted to cause I think they are so
amazing.

Soft skin, the way they smell, look, taste, soft voices ... they are really amazing but I keep myself in check long enough to feel them out cause
too much emotion too soon is not good

Mantus

Balance and harmony. Good post, you are a good man.

 

[MantusJohn]

Balance and harmony. Good post, you are a good man.

Thank you my friend

Hold one min my girl is acting up again gotta put her in her place

Mantus

 

[jerseystepup]

Wow guys, this thread honestly is a HUGE help... Alot of good stuff said here.. and every single word that was said clicked and makes sense in my head.. its the loving oneself part thats hard... tell me if this makes ANY SENSE AT ALL

The possesion thing in a relationship i get that... i was like that... i know im insecure... i know im self conscious... and im afraid to say i DONT love myself... again im so self conscious i cant bare to bring myself to approach or talk to a girl.... BUT if i had the chance theres not a thing id change about myself (maybe my height) but my body is great, my face is decent, my tan WAS good... but idk.. Again idk if what i just said makes sense... I NEED TO LOVE MYSELF BUT I DONT KNOW HOW.

 

[MantusJohn]

Wow guys, this thread honestly is a HUGE help... Alot of good stuff said here.. and every single word that was said clicked and makes sense in my head.. its the loving oneself part thats hard... tell me if this makes ANY SENSE AT ALL

The possesion thing in a relationship i get that... i was like that... i know im insecure... i know im self conscious... and im afraid to say i DONT love myself... again im so self conscious i cant bare to bring myself to approach or talk to a girl.... BUT if i had the chance theres not a thing id change about myself (maybe my height) but my body is great, my face is decent, my tan WAS good... but idk.. Again idk if what i just said makes sense... I NEED TO LOVE MYSELF BUT I DONT KNOW HOW.

It makes alot of sense..

It does take time just remember you are unique it sounds cliche
yeah but it's true. You are you and have to live as you so be happy as you

Did I just write that lol ... it is true though. I would never want to be anyone
else. I truly love myself

Sometimes when people are shy it works to act first and think about
the action after

If you see a girl you like don't try to come up with a line, just be real
and say what you feel.. Well, unless it's something like "Damn, I would
love to get in your pants" That might not go over to good

I really believe any decent looking guy can pick up any girl.

When I say Decent I mean a guy not looking like The Hunchback Of Notre Dame .. Hey maybe he can too who knows.

Confidence will come in time. Once it does you will feel how confidence
takes control of you not you taking control of it

There will be no effort, you will just act and react unconsciously

I gotta walk the dog now.

Be back tomorrow for another 100 posts lol

I can't believe I posted/replied so much

LMAO

I actually had 2nd highest posts on Meso when I was on alot
years ago

Mantus

 

[Steem]

Wow guys, this thread honestly is a HUGE help... Alot of good stuff said here.. and every single word that was said clicked and makes sense in my head.. its the loving oneself part thats hard... tell me if this makes ANY SENSE AT ALL

The possesion thing in a relationship i get that... i was like that... i know im insecure... i know im self conscious... and im afraid to say i DONT love myself... again im so self conscious i cant bare to bring myself to approach or talk to a girl.... BUT if i had the chance theres not a thing id change about myself (maybe my height) but my body is great, my face is decent, my tan WAS good... but idk.. Again idk if what i just said makes sense... I NEED TO LOVE MYSELF BUT I DONT KNOW HOW.

Knowing yourself is loving yourself, and the other way around. You ask how? Only you can figure that out, yes, it's time to take responsibility for your life, time to start making those serious decisions, take serious actions (that you have been hiding deep inside of you), time to say "yes" to those things that you always wanted! and "no" to thing that you do not like in your life - whether it's a job, a place where you live, or your cat ... do not hide in your room, accept the challenge! Scream, yell, I don't care, BUT DO IT!!

Hot looking girl won't show up at your door, SHE WILL NOT. I will repeat that SHE WILL NOT SHOW UP AT YOUR DOOR. No matter how long you'll be waiting in your house!

It's time to put your armor on, get your sword and shield, hop on the horse and ride with pride! You are the MAN, remember this, woman don't need pussy, they already have one (c).

Yes, you have to make steps, it's gonna be hard in the beginning (yes you might get rejected, yes it will hurt, just like Arnold said lol: "pain and aching just go on and on and on, no matter what happens, I can loose consciousnesses... because its worth it"), but just like everything you do it will take some time to learn, to master those things, just like your first workout, your first pin. Realize you can't buy a piano and start playing in concerts immediately, you will have to learn first! And if you'll put heart into it like everything else you will become a pro. The key word here is DESIRE! YOU HAVE TO D E S I R E!

For example -
Start from cleaning your house, are you ready to invite guests into your place, what about inviting a girl? Look around you, I'm pretty sure it's a mess!!! Clean it up, do a laundry, wash dishes, fix those things!! And post a pic so we can approve it ! I'm serious why not? When was the last time you cleaned your bathroom? Got you on that one, huh? Woman love clean bathrooms!

Then, think about what kind of guy would this particular girl of your dreams would want/like/love? How that guy would look like? His manners? Gestures? Aha! Got that picture in your head? Now work on it, develop yourself (read self growth books, how to be a gentleman, good manners, and bad ones read everything about love) start being a better person, you wanted those jeans all that time? get 'em! wanted that hair cut? - get it! Time to act! ! And you will see how things will start to change.

Be different, an easy way to start interacting with a girl is to shock her, just like I said step on her feet! Yes, I'm not joking! Fall on her! But do it with love, be polite, gentle she's like a flower - use your imagination!

 

[Philthy]

I didn't read any replies but these have saved my life and I am MUCH MUCH better off because of them. Download on a torrent site or look online for the free downloads by

Brian Tracy
Zig Ziglar
Anthony Robbins

Once you listen to all that they have to offer. (some times more than once each) you will be a changed man for life.

I am a firm believer that conscious thought changes brain chemistry. (just look at scans of peoples brains when they get happy or sad)
You consciously change the way you think long enough your subconscious thought pattern will change.

Good luck!

P.S. I am living proof these work. Ive tried to help some people out I know and they never listened to the DVD's I gave them and guess what... they are still the same way.

 

[xDOxWORKx]

Just adding I am on 10mg citalopram and it has done wonders but I have started struggling in the last few weeks. That is the only thing I have ever taken (apart from 2 valium).

Bro I also take citalopram 40 mg and Klonapin to help me sleep at night, Reaching out helps for me I almost ruined my life and did lose a wife before I swallowed my pride and got help. I have pretty bad PTSD from IRAQ and thats what messed me up and why I have trouble sleeping but any change in your life can trigger emotions even if they are in no way connected. It took me a long time to get over the stigma of taking medication but some people need it thats just the truth bro. If you keep moving foward things do get better but it will not just happen on its own one day where you will wake up and be happy its a battle and you just cannot afford to quit. I am not saying you need to be on medication all I am saying is that you need to be the one to reach out thats the first step and the rest will take care of itself and the longer you wait the more you will lose. Best wishes friend I really hope you do the right thing here.