Divorce - Looking For Advice

[thebrick]

Very sorry to hear this BKC. It sux, no way around it. But I can assure you that you will be better off in the end. For now, as was said, get an attorney and protect what is rightfully yours. Find an attorney that is an SOB and on your side. Divorces can bring out the nasty side of your once wonderful other half. According to the laws in my state you will get about 50% of your assets. I bet in your state too, most are I think. This is your #1 priority for now, then you heal and you will meet someone who deserves you. Down the line, you will probably want to thank your ex for giving you the freedom to make a better life than would have been possible with her.

 

[Goody]

Sorry ur going thru this
Marriage ain't easy bro
Why take the steps for divorce now while deployed?
Why not wait the two months and deal with it when u get back?
Focus on ur job now
U may even have a change of heart in that time or decide the marriage is worth fighting for
Mistakes do happen my friend
Change, forgiveness and regaining trust also happens if both people put forth the effort
Good luck and stay strong

 

[pimpman]

Man first thanks for serving
Two no one can make such a hard decision for u.only u can cuz u are the one with the feelings

One thing I suggest if u plan on divorcing speak to an attorney before u even tell her about the divorce or that u know she cheated on u (if its not too late)

 

[matt1164]

have you spoken to your wife since you found out she cheated? how did that conversation go?

 

[BKCE87]

Thanks for the support and advice everyone. Not much I can do from here like I said, just concentrating on the mission and working out right now. Wife is extremely remorseful, and is asking for forgiveness. Haven't quite decided what to do yet, she would like to go to marriage counseling together when I get home.

 

[DBoom212]

Well like the title says, I am looking for advice regarding divorcing my wife. I am real heartbroken and torn up right now. Can't sleep, not hungry, can't focus. I am currently deployed in Afghanistan, and found out she cheated on me. I feel pretty helpless about the whole situation as I am stuck here for another 2 months.

Sucks bro I feel for ya. Really hope the divorce doesnt go in her favor like most seem to do.

 

[BKCE87]

Bumping this thread again. Came home to the wife after deployment after she begged me to. Been trying for the last few months, but I just can't do it. I feel like I deserve better than that, and once is enough to change things forever for me. I have no tenacity, hate, or malcontent towards her - I just don't want to be with her anymore. We don't have kids, but we do own a house and one vehicle together any advice on how to advance?

 

[zaven]

Bumping this thread again. Came home to the wife after deployment after she begged me to. Been trying for the last few months, but I just can't do it. I feel like I deserve better than that, and once is enough to change things forever for me. I have no tenacity, hate, or malcontent towards her - I just don't want to be with her anymore. We don't have kids, but we do own a house and one vehicle together any advice on how to advance?

Get a divorce bro....only way to advance and move on.

The quicker you go after it the quicker you can move on. Otherwise you'll just remain stagnate.

 

[Bleed]

Serve her papers. Do it quick. The faster you do this the better. Better to just suck up whatever loss you have to and move on.

Bumping this thread again. Came home to the wife after deployment after she begged me to. Been trying for the last few months, but I just can't do it. I feel like I deserve better than that, and once is enough to change things forever for me. I have no tenacity, hate, or malcontent towards her - I just don't want to be with her anymore. We don't have kids, but we do own a house and one vehicle together any advice on how to advance?

 

[bulking1]

First thank you for serving and protecting our country. House and cars are material things ,you can buy them again as for trust you can never get that back once it is lost. She is weak and does not deserve you. Move on brother it will hurt for a while but stay strong.

 

[360]

Bumping this thread again. Came home to the wife after deployment after she begged me to. Been trying for the last few months, but I just can't do it. I feel like I deserve better than that, and once is enough to change things forever for me. I have no tenacity, hate, or malcontent towards her - I just don't want to be with her anymore. We don't have kids, but we do own a house and one vehicle together any advice on how to advance?

Easy solution. Here is what to do:

1. Get a lawyer and have him file divorce papers.

2. Agree to sell the house and split it with her. Let's say your house is worth $100,000 and you payed it off in full in 10 years. So you just lost $50,000 over that 10 year period. That's $5000/year. Just pretend you were renting an apartment and this would be the same annual cost.

3. Have proof that she cheated (or have her admit it) while you were deployed and you will not have to pay alimony. Don't be "nice" to her and offer to help her financially in the future (some guys actually do this).

4. Make sure your next girlfriend/relationship centers on real life issues (family, work, money). Don't fall for the romance, passion, infatuation, princess mentality type of girl. You will be sorry again.

5. Thank me in the future.

 

[thebrick]

Excellent advice here.

One point I might add, speaking from experience, if you have any joint banking/ savings accounts, withdraw that money and put that in your name only to protect that. You don't want any surprises when you go to the bank and find that emptied (like I did). You can always divide that later on your negotiated terms + you have something in hand to pay your lawyer which the state considers acceptable/ non-liable expenses in divorce settlements.

Good luck and you are on the first step to a better life. Don't rush your recovery. Let the dust settle. I couldn't stay with anyone that cheated on me either. Ever.

Easy solution. Here is what to do:

1. Get a lawyer and have him file divorce papers.

2. Agree to sell the house and split it with her. Let's say your house is worth $100,000 and you payed it off in full in 10 years. So you just lost $50,000 over that 10 year period. That's $5000/year. Just pretend you were renting an apartment and this would be the same annual cost.

3. Have proof that she cheated (or have her admit it) while you were deployed and you will not have to pay alimony. Don't be "nice" to her and offer to help her financially in the future (some guys actually do this).

4. Make sure your next girlfriend/relationship centers on real life issues (family, work, money). Don't fall for the romance, passion, infatuation, princess mentality type of girl. You will be sorry again.

5. Thank me in the future.