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Divorce - The Challenge of being married to a negative person

StevenGFH

Active member
Registered
Joined
Oct 5, 2008
Messages
684
Guys. I do not know what to do.

My wife and I have been married since September of 2012, so coming up on one year. We have been together for 7 years though.

I am 26, she is 25.

I swear she has been bi-polar since I have known her. Fine one second, and complete opposite the other. Very bitchy, taking everything to the extreme. It is like 0-60MPH in no time flat, and for the littlest or no reasons.

Every single negative thing that happens in her life is in someway my fault. Even when I literally have nothing to do. Like last week...I was 3 hours away for work, she lost her keys...it was my fault that I could not help her find them....WTF

I will not get into everything. but how many times can someone expect someone to change?

EVERYTIME I say I want to talk, she BLOWS UP and storms out. I am done trying.

I am a very laid back and nice guy, and she has turned me into a heartless asshole, I hate feeling like this.

it is hard dealing with negativity 90% of everyday, hard dealing with threats, hard dealing with her holding financial things over my head.

I guess I am just venting, but anyone have any advice?

We just bought our first house 2 months ago...but I am to the point that I would rather suffer financially to get out of this then see her.:confused:
 
Seriously, run far away,
get a divorce.
Her personality "traits" will only get more intense as she gets older
 
Seriously, run far away,
get a divorce.
Her personality "traits" will only get more intense as she gets older

That is what I am thinking.

It has been 7 years it has gotten progressively worse. Seems 3 times as bad now that we are married.

Maybe some people just can't change until they get a wake up call.

Well when she gets out of work at midnight tonight, she will come home to an empty house. I am crashing somewhere for the weekend.



7 weeks out from a show....I do not need this now!
 
This will sound terrible...but I can see why every boyfriend left her. Why everyone left her...even her family

She doesn't feel anyone loves her due to her past....and doesn't believe I do...she always says "you do not love me" and feels I am just using her
 
That is what I am thinking.

It has been 7 years it has gotten progressively worse. Seems 3 times as bad now that we are married.

Maybe some people just can't change until they get a wake up call.

Well when she gets out of work at midnight tonight, she will come home to an empty house. I am crashing somewhere for the weekend.



7 weeks out from a show....I do not need this now!

When I was 25 I was married to someone who I thought would "change", boy did I get that one wrong.
Unlike wine she did not get better with age
 
When I was 25 I was married to someone who I thought would "change", boy did I get that one wrong.
Unlike wine she did not get better with age

lol

if this goes to divorce...she constantly threatens to blow me in for steroids...any to worry about?

She can go ahead and try...but say goodbye to your nursing lisence...you did my injections
 
You should dump her suddenly. Don't even try to be friends. Just let her know its over and you never want to see her again. It's easier when you break up like this. The "friends" just doesn't work. My ex was like that. We were always fighting. I never grew up in a home with that kind of drama so it was foreign to me. Now, my wife and I rarely ever fight. It's so nice not having any drama. Like oil and water, sometimes two people just don't mix. That crazy passion with that drug like sex only lasts about 6 months. Then, you find out if there is more to the relationship. Like someone you'd like to grow old with.
 
lol

if this goes to divorce...she constantly threatens to blow me in for steroids...any to worry about?

She can go ahead and try...but say goodbye to your nursing lisence...you did my injections


Sorry to hear about your situation.

Has it got worse since you got married?

Have you and her ever sought professional help? I know you said it's her actions that are causing this. If you try to approach things as a couple it may get a better response from her, as opposed to just telling her she needs to get help.

Just FYI one of the biggest red flags that a girl is a nightmare; when she blames everyone under the sun for her misery!!!
 
You should dump her suddenly. Don't even try to be friends. Just let her know its over and you never want to see her again. It's easier when you break up like this. The "friends" just doesn't work. My ex was like that. We were always fighting. I never grew up in a home with that kind of drama so it was foreign to me. Now, my wife and I rarely ever fight. It's so nice not having any drama. Like oil and water, sometimes two people just don't mix. That crazy passion with that drug like sex only lasts about 6 months. Then, you find out if there is more to the relationship. Like someone you'd like to grow old with.

friendship is in no way a possibility. I want to get far away.

Just a big decision because of the house, and I know her it is going to get messy.

Go ahead take me for all I have...you make twice the money that I do...good luck
 
Your situation sucks buddy, I would be out of there and doing a good clean up before I left.
 
Sorry to hear about your situation.

Has it got worse since you got married?

Have you and her ever sought professional help? I know you said it's her actions that are causing this. If you try to approach things as a couple it may get a better response from her, as opposed to just telling her she needs to get help.

Just FYI one of the biggest red flags that a girl is a nightmare; when she blames everyone under the sun for her misery!!!

Yes it has gotten worse. She is a nurse, so a stressful job...that took her from a bitch to a BITCH, just non stop.

Like literally out of the 7 Days in a week...25% of one day she is in a good mood.

I have said a number of times that I want to talk, and she storms out. If I said I want profressional help she will go nuts.

Just sucks...that 25% of that one day that she is normal, she is great. But one little thing happens...like someone cut her off driving, all hell breaks loose and I better walk on egg shells
 
Yes it has gotten worse. She is a nurse, so a stressful job...that took her from a bitch to a BITCH, just non stop.

Like literally out of the 7 Days in a week...25% of one day she is in a good mood.

I have said a number of times that I want to talk, and she storms out. If I said I want profressional help she will go nuts.

Just sucks...that 25% of that one day that she is normal, she is great. But one little thing happens...like someone cut her off driving, all hell breaks loose and I better walk on egg shells

Well, how do you think she'll react when you tell her you want a divorce? :rolleyes:

This is what I would do if it were me. Mostly so I could be at piece with myself if it ended with divorce. I would lay down the law (with love of course); That the way things are currently is unacceptable! That "WE" need to go get some professional help!! If she refuses then you move out and separate until she agrees to get help. This way you can hold your head up and know that you didn't just screw her over like everyone else ;). Even though she will probably say you did.
 
Well, how do you think she'll react when you tell her you want a divorce? :rolleyes:

This is what I would do if it were me. Mostly so I could be at piece with myself if it ended with divorce. I would lay down the law (with love of course); That the way things are currently is unacceptable! That "WE" need to go get some professional help!! If she refuses then you move out and separate until she agrees to get help. This way you can hold your head up and know that you didn't just screw her over like everyone else ;). Even though she will probably say you did.

Well like the week after we got married she would threaten divorce over stupid bullshit.

Just threats, that how she is. Like she said when she left for work "the cops will be there in a few mins to escort you out of MY house..."

never happened...threats.

So last time a big blow up happened...I printed off fake divorce papers and filled them out.

she lost it...balling, like OMG OMG. She puts up a front but is nothing but a field mouse under her lion costume.

I have clothes, food, supplements, and everything packed for a few days.

When she gets home, I will not be here and phone will be off. She can worry for all I care...she needs an awakening......but I think she is too far gone...

all I can do is pray. Just read my bible tonight.


The bible says no to be "yoked together with an unbeliever"

my pastor and everyone told me it was a bad idea...so I got married at the court house and not church.

well they were right....this is hell
 
Well like the week after we got married she would threaten divorce over stupid bullshit.

Just threats, that how she is. Like she said when she left for work "the cops will be there in a few mins to escort you out of MY house..."

never happened...threats.

So last time a big blow up happened...I printed off fake divorce papers and filled them out.

she lost it...balling, like OMG OMG. She puts up a front but is nothing but a field mouse under her lion costume.

I have clothes, food, supplements, and everything packed for a few days.

When she gets home, I will not be here and phone will be off. She can worry for all I care...she needs an awakening......but I think she is too far gone...

all I can do is pray. Just read my bible tonight.


The bible says no to be "yoked together with an unbeliever"

my pastor and everyone told me it was a bad idea...so I got married at the court house and not church.

well they were right....this is hell

Sound like all the signs were there telling you to get the hell out of there before you got married.

I'll pray for you as well!

“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord is the one who goes before you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor forsake you."
-Deuteronomy 31:8
 
Sound like all the signs were there telling you to get the hell out of there before you got married.

I'll pray for you as well!

“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord is the one who goes before you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor forsake you."
-Deuteronomy 31:8

Thanks brother. Well I am all camped out at my destination for the next few days haha

Thank God for Netflix!

I appreciate the help everyone. If anyone else has any comments please make them....as you know this is a big decision

I would have to get my own place, health insurance (which I can get through work) I am type 1 Diabetic so I need it!

Thankfully I am blessed with a job that I get a company car and gas.
 
Ive been in a very similarly situation. If she is truly BP it peaks in their 30s. And your own safety is jeopardized.

if you truly have peace with leaving, than you are in my prayers. She seams to have a good job at least and can provide for herself...I wasnt so lucky. So ive stayed and helped build her up.

What ever you do...be careful. Once you leave you will trigger abandonment issues and she will want you to pay....so no visits without witnesses if you need to get something or have something signed.

change all pin and passwords get new email and passwords for your profiles FB ect.

If you want to talk more PM me so, so many details wont be out in the open
 
Sounds rough bro. Good luck. If I were you I would keep the Netflix flowing, phone off and weed lit..
 
Same situation here brother....exact same.....its very rough and its hard to choose what you should do........best of luck to you.

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2
 
i have like 60 missed calls, text messages, voicemails, facetime requests since she got out of work


obsessive.....

I eventually answered two of her calls...I recorded them for my saftey...her admiting a number of things

she is balling and wants me to come back home now....a few hours ago she wanted me out haha.

she apparently is going to the hospital because she is having a panic attack that things are falling apart and I am not there....kind of funny how that works, the one that is always there gets sick of you and then you are alone.

I told her, she made me heartless and maybe she needs to have a panic attack and go to the hospital to get profressional help.

I am going there at some point tomorrow, with papers....both divorce and seperation and we are going to talk...she says she will finally talk but I told her...the second she flips the switch I am gone.

I will record convo if I must
 

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