Divorce - The Challenge of being married to a negative person

[stephenj37826]

i have like 60 missed calls, text messages, voicemails, facetime requests since she got out of work


obsessive.....

I eventually answered two of her calls...I recorded them for my saftey...her admiting a number of things

she is balling and wants me to come back home now....a few hours ago she wanted me out haha.

she apparently is going to the hospital because she is having a panic attack that things are falling apart and I am not there....kind of funny how that works, the one that is always there gets sick of you and then you are alone.

I told her, she made me heartless and maybe she needs to have a panic attack and go to the hospital to get profressional help.

I am going there at some point tomorrow, with papers....both divorce and seperation and we are going to talk...she says she will finally talk but I told her...the second she flips the switch I am gone.

I will record convo if I must

I know I'm going against most people's opinions here but you got married for a reason. I do think you should exhaust all possible routes to fix her disorder before giving up completely. Women today live in a society geared towords them being the dominate force in the household when this is clearly against Gods plan. It is hard being married in today's society. Maybe she needs to find another job. Money sure isn't everything. You both need to examine what in your life besides each other is causing stress and try to eliminate those things. One thing is for sure. If you don't have any children with this woman make sure to keep it that way until this is resolved. This wake up call you gave her has made her realize that she can't control you. Respect is something that some people have naturally and some people have to be reminded of the consequences. Most people will treat you bad if you let them. Once they see that you won't allow them to treat you badly they usually don't pull the B.S.

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[StevenGFH]

I know I'm going against most people's opinions here but you got married for a reason. I do think you should exhaust all possible routes to fix her disorder before giving up completely. Women today live in a society geared towords them being the dominate force in the household when this is clearly against Gods plan. It is hard being married in today's society. Maybe she needs to find another job. Money sure isn't everything. You both need to examine what in your life besides each other is causing stress and try to eliminate those things. One thing is for sure. If you don't have any children with this woman make sure to keep it that way until this is resolved. This wake up call you gave her has made her realize that she can't control you. Respect is something that some people have naturally and some people have to be reminded of the consequences. Most people will treat you bad if you let them. Once they see that you won't allow them to treat you badly they usually don't pull the B.S.

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Thanks man. I agree 100%

Like I do not want a divorice, I made a promise to her and God, for better, for worse....but how much worse....

And women today, you are right they are not in the place that was planned. They are entitled most of them. She was an only child and always got what she wanted because she would act out (now her own mother wont even talk to her)

She sets herself above everyone else, like she is better. For whatever reason, because she has a masters degree and is an RN, because she has money, because this or that....listen sweet heart you are no different than the crackhead in the ghetto...we all put our pants on the same way...one leg at a time

 

[Cerberus777]

Like renewlf said... lay down the law. And stick with it. I would demand that she seek mental health and if it is BP that she stay in treatment...if she wont. Than this is her trying to control the situation.

I had to do the same for mine...what ever you do. Do prayerfully. And I pray your story has a happy ending.

 

[triathloncoach]

She is a nurse. Does she get any professional help/medications for her condition? Can you encourage her to do this? It helps.

You do realize in your posts you have accepted zero of the blame for your fights. Do you believe this is true? Thats a bold attitude. Especially with you prepping for a show.

I have some experience with walking out on my wife and then watching her melt down and calling me 50 times crying and begging and pleading for me to come back. It's nice to be in control huh? But I don't believe it helps much other than an ego stroke - it makes me feel guilty. Then again it could also be manipulation by your wife.

Get some help, it sounds like a divorce is gonna put you in a world of hurt. I wouldn't be racing to get there.

Best wishes

 

[StevenGFH]

She is a nurse. Does she get any professional help/medications for her condition? Can you encourage her to do this? It helps.

You do realize in your posts you have accepted zero of the blame for your fights. Do you believe this is true? Thats a bold attitude. Especially with you prepping for a show.

I have some experience with walking out on my wife and then watching her melt down and calling me 50 times crying and begging and pleading for me to come back. It's nice to be in control huh? But I don't believe it helps much other than an ego stroke - it makes me feel guilty. Then again it could also be manipulation by your wife.

Get some help, it sounds like a divorce is gonna put you in a world of hurt. I wouldn't be racing to get there.

Best wishes

Well yes of course there are issues on each side, but how she is FAR out weighs me.

Her biggest issue with me is that I am not around enough...

Well here is my daily schedule...

Up at 4:30-5:00AM to do cardio, which keeps my blood sugars in check.
Then work from 6AM until about 5
Go to the gym for an hour
Come home around 6:15 to 6:30
Cook my food, pack my clothes, make sure I have paperworks ready for work.
and by 9, I have 10 to 20 mins to sit down and relax.

Well that sucks...but she works 3:00pm to Midnight.

So of course you are not going to see me! Not my fault.



Anyways.

Just tried talking to her...gave her her options, either get help and I will help her or be served with papers.

She got all pissed off after about 20 mins and stormed out.

So I left the papers for her, and documented everything.

Now, just as last night she is begging for me to come back.

No, Why should I try and fix something when the person with the main issue is not willing to seek help to fix themself!

 

[stephenj37826]

Well yes of course there are issues on each side, but how she is FAR out weighs me.

Her biggest issue with me is that I am not around enough...

Well here is my daily schedule...

Up at 4:30-5:00AM to do cardio, which keeps my blood sugars in check.
Then work from 6AM until about 5
Go to the gym for an hour
Come home around 6:15 to 6:30
Cook my food, pack my clothes, make sure I have paperworks ready for work.
and by 9, I have 10 to 20 mins to sit down and relax.

Well that sucks...but she works 3:00pm to Midnight.

So of course you are not going to see me! Not my fault.



Anyways.

Just tried talking to her...gave her her options, either get help and I will help her or be served with papers.

She got all pissed off after about 20 mins and stormed out.

So I left the papers for her, and documented everything.

Now, just as last night she is begging for me to come back.

No, Why should I try and fix something when the person with the main issue is not willing to seek help to fix themself!

She will come around man. It's starting to sink in. My ex has begged me to take her back for 3 years. It's just gonna be hard for her to swallow her pride in my opinion. Also when you talk to her let her know you want to work on your own issues as well. Let her know that you love her and marriage that lasts has two people who are willing to compromise.

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[renewlyf]

Well yes of course there are issues on each side, but how she is FAR out weighs me.

Her biggest issue with me is that I am not around enough...

Well here is my daily schedule...

Up at 4:30-5:00AM to do cardio, which keeps my blood sugars in check.
Then work from 6AM until about 5
Go to the gym for an hour
Come home around 6:15 to 6:30
Cook my food, pack my clothes, make sure I have paperworks ready for work.
and by 9, I have 10 to 20 mins to sit down and relax.

Well that sucks...but she works 3:00pm to Midnight.

So of course you are not going to see me! Not my fault.



Anyways.

Just tried talking to her...gave her her options, either get help and I will help her or be served with papers.

She got all pissed off after about 20 mins and stormed out.

So I left the papers for her, and documented everything.

Now, just as last night she is begging for me to come back.

No, Why should I try and fix something when the person with the main issue is not willing to seek help to fix themself!

It will take time and lots of patients to get through this!

Maybe just suggest that she really thinks about things for a few days before you talk again.

This cant be fixed overnight. Stay positive and calm!

 

[StevenGFH]

i know.

She cannot deal or cope with stress at all. To the point her hair falls out.

she just had to go to hospital because she couldnt breath and was having heart palpitations and an apparent 'abnormal EKG'

Sucks when you finally realize what is going on. And the one that you say is never there because you are too blind to notice...isnt there and isnt will to go help.

I gave her her chance today, I would have helped her get help but she stormed off.

she can deal with it

 

[matt1164]

It seems like you r fed up. You sound like your done.

Breakups suck. Just be glad you don't have any kids with her.

Best of luck.

 

[standard donkey]

(now her own mother wont even talk to her)

fuck..

 

[alaski]

don't have kids

Whatever you do don't have children with this lady, unless something radically changes. I've been there brother in divorce situations and children amplify the problem a million times.

It's always best to commit to work things out, with divorce as the last option. If she is willing to have counseling with you, then maybe you have a shot. Somebody needs to explain to her that ultimatums and threats will never bring harmony to a marriage, for no one will submit to coercion.

 

[Miss Q]

Well yes of course there are issues on each side, but how she is FAR out weighs me.

Her biggest issue with me is that I am not around enough...

Well here is my daily schedule...

Up at 4:30-5:00AM to do cardio, which keeps my blood sugars in check.
Then work from 6AM until about 5
Go to the gym for an hour
Come home around 6:15 to 6:30
Cook my food, pack my clothes, make sure I have paperworks ready for work.
and by 9, I have 10 to 20 mins to sit down and relax.

Well that sucks...but she works 3:00pm to Midnight.

So of course you are not going to see me! Not my fault.

With that kind of schedule, when do you and your wife ever see each other?Not your fault?? What exactly does that mean? I do not mean any disrespect but that sounds like it doesn't really bother you much....
Not y

 

[renewlyf]

The OP - StevenGFH is now banned! I wonder why?

 

[triathloncoach]

The OP - StevenGFH is now banned! I wonder why?

With his sparkling personality and uncanny ability to see the big picture while accepting his share of the responsibility I can only come up with 2 reasons:

1) His wife had him banned. It is well known that Big Chef is a real pussy when psychotic women living in a different hemisphere threaten him

2) Obama

 

[renewlyf]

With his sparkling personality and uncanny ability to see the big picture while accepting his share of the responsibility I can only come up with 2 reasons:

1) His wife had him banned. It is well known that Big Chef is a real pussy when psychotic women living in a different hemisphere threaten him

2) Obama

Since I don't know Big Chef well enough to comment on option 1.

I will go with the default #2. Obama's is to blame for everything that I can think of anyways! I'm pretty sure it's his fault I have arthritis in my knee!

 

[jm750]

I know all about being with someone that is very negative. GTFO as soon as you can or you will kick yourself in the ass down the road. It will not change. They dont change. They only get worse.

i can't stand being around negative people. Good luck.

 

[maldorf]

The OP - StevenGFH is now banned! I wonder why?

I looked at his posts and it looks like me made some comments about shipping goods in the sponsor section. Just a few days ban I think.

 

[maldorf]

Since I don't know Big Chef well enough to comment on option 1.

I will go with the default #2. Obama's is to blame for everything that I can think of anyways! I'm pretty sure it's his fault I have arthritis in my knee!

Naw, it was Bush. Obama says so!!!

 

[StevenGFH]

With his sparkling personality and uncanny ability to see the big picture while accepting his share of the responsibility I can only come up with 2 reasons:

1) His wife had him banned. It is well known that Big Chef is a real pussy when psychotic women living in a different hemisphere threaten him

2) Obama

It was Obama...sorry if my personality came off the way it did.

Was aggrivated, depressed, you know

we are working on things, actually had a good couple of days. She has been working on things..

it will be a long road, but

Thanks for the help everyone, as said above divorce is the last option.

So we are going to work at this

 

[renewlyf]

It was Obama...sorry if my personality came off the way it did.

Was aggrivated, depressed, you know

we are working on things, actually had a good couple of days. She has been working on things..

it will be a long road, but

Thanks for the help everyone, as said above divorce is the last option.

So we are going to work at this

Glad to hear it!

Great things come from hard work!!!