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Don't know why I'm taking this so hard

jeetsun7

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May 5, 2016
Messages
108
So I had a relationship with a 23 yr old, I'm 34, lasted a year. Pretty big age difference. She seemed like a pretty good girl with a good heart. She was into some pretty kinky sex stuff, liked to be choked and liked it rough, which was fun and entertaining. She was really adventurous, always wanted to go out and do stuff, I'm more of a homebody and introvert, she's more of an extrovert. Got kind of attached, we worked out together, ate together, went out did things, slept together, etc.

Things started to fizzle toward the end. One night laying in bed together, I got a pit in my stomach, had to tell her that there seemed to be too many differences. She was pretty immature (kind of expected at that age), mood swings, depression, she tried to kill herself while in the marines by cutting and hanging herself. Being a marine I thought she would have a strong resolve, be disciplined, but found out she was more of a fuck off. Got sexually assaulted in the marine core by sneaking out to some guys barracks, twice. Told me she got sexually assaulted again by using tinder, some guy came over to her place and 'made her take her clothes off' which didn't sound right. She told her sisters bf after it happened and he talked her into reporting it to the police.

The past relationships she told me about seems like when things don't work out, she monkey branches to another guy. Hell, she cheated on her ex bf with me when I first met her and didn't tell me until way later in the relationship. Before her ex bf, she was supposedly single for a couple of weeks before hooking up with someone else, before that, the same, moved right into a new relationship. It's a pretty disconcerting trend. I had come to find out she needs constant validation through social media, gym pics, has quite a few guy friends, she had one girlfriend that moved away during our time together.

So I got a pit in my stomach and noticed the differences, young and immature, not on the same wave length, not enough common interests, etc. So we broke I broke it off, she was pretty upset. After a week back in september I felt guilty and missed her a lot and got back together. Things were going well, until she prompted a conversation asking me if I saw myself with her for the rest of her life, I said I had my doubts and I' more about taking thing slowly. She segue ways into breaking up which I agreed as I felt we still weren't on the same page.

So a week and half goes by and we are having a rough time with the break up and discuss that we miss each other, she's had some drinks. I go over to her place and she tells me she misses us, and I said I felt the same. We attempted to hug and kiss, but it just didn't feel right. We both addressed this. She explained that 2 days after the break up she got on tinder and hooked up with another random and had sex.

This really bothered me. She was holding my hand while she told me and I let go, she suddenly seemed a lot less attractive falling back into hook in up with random people to validate her low self esteem. After she told me, I saw her phone was ringing from a coworker, a guy calling at 630am in the morning; we work nights. We agreed to no possibility of rekindling anything and no contact. She asked for a hug and I wasn't able to physically bring myself to do it. I work with this girl and it's been hard seeing her at work. I obviously cared for this girl, but chose to ignore some red flags, the cheating on her ex bf by having sex with me should have rose a big red flag with me even if it was 8 months into it finding out.

Even though we weren't together and had broken up, the whole 2 days and deciding to fuck someone else has left me angry and second guessing what else she was doing during the relationship. It appears that she can disconnect quickly, where as I can't, I have a tendency to have a long grieving process before moving on, and one night stands don't help me.

It just bothers me that there's a quick disconnect on her part and moving into the next foray and I'm fuming and grieving. Just wanted to vent. It hurts.
 

gungalunga

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Sounds like you need to be in a relationship with a woman that is more mentally stable. Maybe you should start dating strippers....:rolleyes:
 

tripleOT

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Bottum line, the girl is a head case and immature. It's obvious you are ready to move on without the high school drama, she is not. Youknow it will never work with her. Confide in your knowing she or anyone like her is only going to end horrible and break your heart bro. Time to be an adult and find someone who is like minded.
 

Big-Dawg

Banned
Joined
Oct 2, 2016
Messages
1,354
So I had a relationship with a 23 yr old, I'm 34, lasted a year. Pretty big age difference. She seemed like a pretty good girl with a good heart. She was into some pretty kinky sex stuff, liked to be choked and liked it rough, which was fun and entertaining. She was really adventurous, always wanted to go out and do stuff, I'm more of a homebody and introvert, she's more of an extrovert. Got kind of attached, we worked out together, ate together, went out did things, slept together, etc.

Things started to fizzle toward the end. One night laying in bed together, I got a pit in my stomach, had to tell her that there seemed to be too many differences. She was pretty immature (kind of expected at that age), mood swings, depression, she tried to kill herself while in the marines by cutting and hanging herself. Being a marine I thought she would have a strong resolve, be disciplined, but found out she was more of a fuck off. Got sexually assaulted in the marine core by sneaking out to some guys barracks, twice. Told me she got sexually assaulted again by using tinder, some guy came over to her place and 'made her take her clothes off' which didn't sound right. She told her sisters bf after it happened and he talked her into reporting it to the police.

The past relationships she told me about seems like when things don't work out, she monkey branches to another guy. Hell, she cheated on her ex bf with me when I first met her and didn't tell me until way later in the relationship. Before her ex bf, she was supposedly single for a couple of weeks before hooking up with someone else, before that, the same, moved right into a new relationship. It's a pretty disconcerting trend. I had come to find out she needs constant validation through social media, gym pics, has quite a few guy friends, she had one girlfriend that moved away during our time together.

So I got a pit in my stomach and noticed the differences, young and immature, not on the same wave length, not enough common interests, etc. So we broke I broke it off, she was pretty upset. After a week back in september I felt guilty and missed her a lot and got back together. Things were going well, until she prompted a conversation asking me if I saw myself with her for the rest of her life, I said I had my doubts and I' more about taking thing slowly. She segue ways into breaking up which I agreed as I felt we still weren't on the same page.

So a week and half goes by and we are having a rough time with the break up and discuss that we miss each other, she's had some drinks. I go over to her place and she tells me she misses us, and I said I felt the same. We attempted to hug and kiss, but it just didn't feel right. We both addressed this. She explained that 2 days after the break up she got on tinder and hooked up with another random and had sex.

This really bothered me. She was holding my hand while she told me and I let go, she suddenly seemed a lot less attractive falling back into hook in up with random people to validate her low self esteem. After she told me, I saw her phone was ringing from a coworker, a guy calling at 630am in the morning; we work nights. We agreed to no possibility of rekindling anything and no contact. She asked for a hug and I wasn't able to physically bring myself to do it. I work with this girl and it's been hard seeing her at work. I obviously cared for this girl, but chose to ignore some red flags, the cheating on her ex bf by having sex with me should have rose a big red flag with me even if it was 8 months into it finding out.

Even though we weren't together and had broken up, the whole 2 days and deciding to fuck someone else has left me angry and second guessing what else she was doing during the relationship. It appears that she can disconnect quickly, where as I can't, I have a tendency to have a long grieving process before moving on, and one night stands don't help me.

It just bothers me that there's a quick disconnect on her part and moving into the next foray and I'm fuming and grieving. Just wanted to vent. It hurts.
Brother you have a heart and she took advantage of that...You know deep inside it's best not to be with her,especially with all you said about her...She's down for Sausage Party's brother, plz don't take me wrong...But from what you said she's a Hoe no doubt,and your way better off without that shit believe me...I'm 37 so I do have experience with Bitches,and she's a bitch not a lady...You need a woman not a hoe brother... Sorry about your heart ache but that wasn't true love and you know it bro...Sorry had to be honest to your post...

THE REAPER
 

lntense

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Jun 25, 2012
Messages
1,929
Honestly, she just sounds crazy. You're better off moving on from that one. Trust me. Or it could end up biting you in the ass and getting you into trouble down the road.
 

jeetsun7

New member
Registered
Joined
May 5, 2016
Messages
108
Bottum line, the girl is a head case and immature. It's obvious you are ready to move on without the high school drama, she is not. Youknow it will never work with her. Confide in your knowing she or anyone like her is only going to end horrible and break your heart bro. Time to be an adult and find someone who is like minded.
You're right. Now it's a matter of only finding someone who is like minded and shares the same values and common interests, sometimes it feels like that's a long shot; trying not to be pessimistic.
 

jeetsun7

New member
Registered
Joined
May 5, 2016
Messages
108
Brother you have a heart and she took advantage of that...You know deep inside it's best not to be with her,especially with all you said about her...She's down for Sausage Party's brother, plz don't take me wrong...But from what you said she's a Hoe no doubt,and your way better off without that shit believe me...I'm 37 so I do have experience with Bitches,and she's a bitch not a lady...You need a woman not a hoe brother... Sorry about your heart ache but that wasn't true love and you know it bro...Sorry had to be honest to your post...

THE REAPER
Thanks brother, I appreciate the feedback and no need to apologize, I feel like I don't need any punches pulled or any sugar coating, just straight up perspectives.
 

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