Don't want my honest opinion, then don't ask

[lynx]

Well, there are quite a few people getting ready for competitions, especially at my gym. I've had a couple of people ask for my opinion and most can take constructive criticism very well. There is a gal that has been dieting for the Emerald Cup who hasn't been making very much headway. She asked me in the locker room yesterday if she sent me some pictures if I could tell her what I thought and if she really busted her ass in the next 6 weeks if she could do it. I already knew my answer but said sure. After I was done lifting I saw her text with 2 pictures, one front that only went down to about mid-thigh and the second was a side-model pose again about mid-thigh (if that). I think she purposefully left out the majority of her lower body and no back shot because this is where the majority of her problems are. This is what I sent back to her:

First off you've put on a great deal of muscle! Good job! Second, at this point I would feel better if you were leaner this close to the show. You've been through a lot in this prep and sometimes that stalls your progress. I wouldn't get too down about it, every prep is a learning experience. No two are the same. I would wait until you can put together a complete prep w/very few distractions. This way when you step on stage you will know you did all you could and be proud of what you bring to the stage.

Which I thought was honest but gentle...no text back. I guess she wanted me to tell her that heck yeah, totally doable! Kick ass the next 6 weeks! But even if she were to lose an average of 2 pounds per week she'd still be about 6 weeks (or more) out physique wise in my opinion. I've also been hearing that she's been cheating quite a bit and drinking. Which you can see with her lack of progress.

Well, this morning she BEAT me to the gym! LMAO! She had already lifted and was doing cardio and man she looked PISSED! -> Oh well, I guess she's using it as motivation. Good! Prove me wrong! It's not like she's going into one of the largest regional shows in the NPC...oh WAIT! The thing is the word: "Competitor" to me means you are going to be competitive.

 

[jp2007]

I can't stand when people ask for my opinion and blow off my response. What bothers me even more is when someone asks your opinion and is just feeding for a compliment.

If you ask me for my opinion I will tell you the truth, even if it's mean. Although I may say it nicely, you know what I'm saying. Simply because if you tell someone they look good when they don't you're not helping them at all. I know first hand!

Last year people kept saying I look good, this and that. Come show time, I was out of shape on stage. Didnt really make me feel good and I sat and wondered why all these people said you look good lol.

In this industry the most important thing is your looks, you need to be able to take good compliments and some what harsh statements!

 

[renewlyf]

Well, there are quite a few people getting ready for competitions, especially at my gym. I've had a couple of people ask for my opinion and most can take constructive criticism very well. There is a gal that has been dieting for the Emerald Cup who hasn't been making very much headway. She asked me in the locker room yesterday if she sent me some pictures if I could tell her what I thought and if she really busted her ass in the next 6 weeks if she could do it. I already knew my answer but said sure. After I was done lifting I saw her text with 2 pictures, one front that only went down to about mid-thigh and the second was a side-model pose again about mid-thigh (if that). I think she purposefully left out the majority of her lower body and no back shot because this is where the majority of her problems are. This is what I sent back to her:



Which I thought was honest but gentle...no text back. I guess she wanted me to tell her that heck yeah, totally doable! Kick ass the next 6 weeks! But even if she were to lose an average of 2 pounds per week she'd still be about 6 weeks (or more) out physique wise in my opinion. I've also been hearing that she's been cheating quite a bit and drinking. Which you can see with her lack of progress.

Well, this morning she BEAT me to the gym! LMAO! She had already lifted and was doing cardio and man she looked PISSED! -> Oh well, I guess she's using it as motivation. Good! Prove me wrong! It's not like she's going into one of the largest regional shows in the NPC...oh WAIT! The thing is the word: "Competitor" to me means you are going to be competitive.

Your response was perfect.
Love that last line. Maybe you should text that to her

 

[Crowler]

Well, there are quite a few people getting ready for competitions, especially at my gym. I've had a couple of people ask for my opinion and most can take constructive criticism very well. There is a gal that has been dieting for the Emerald Cup who hasn't been making very much headway. She asked me in the locker room yesterday if she sent me some pictures if I could tell her what I thought and if she really busted her ass in the next 6 weeks if she could do it. I already knew my answer but said sure. After I was done lifting I saw her text with 2 pictures, one front that only went down to about mid-thigh and the second was a side-model pose again about mid-thigh (if that). I think she purposefully left out the majority of her lower body and no back shot because this is where the majority of her problems are. This is what I sent back to her:




Which I thought was honest but gentle...no text back. I guess she wanted me to tell her that heck yeah, totally doable! Kick ass the next 6 weeks! But even if she were to lose an average of 2 pounds per week she'd still be about 6 weeks (or more) out physique wise in my opinion. I've also been hearing that she's been cheating quite a bit and drinking. Which you can see with her lack of progress.

Well, this morning she BEAT me to the gym! LMAO! She had already lifted and was doing cardio and man she looked PISSED! -> Oh well, I guess she's using it as motivation. Good! Prove me wrong! It's not like she's going into one of the largest regional shows in the NPC...oh WAIT! The thing is the word: "Competitor" to me means you are going to be competitive.

Lynx,

People value the information by how much they pay for it.

You are giving your very good information for free so they are not valuing it.

It took me a long time to realize this.

For years I gave free advice, training etc at my gyms. The people did not respect the training or information until I started charging for just about any suggestions, training, info etc.

Their respect jumped dramatically.

I know you want to be a nice person but in this situation I think it is better for yourself to no longer give free advice but to refer them to a price sheet you make up for them.

 

[Jello]

I had a guy start asking me questions in the locker room last night. When I asked him about specifics about his diet he said he wasn't sure. I told him to get it figured out and then I could help him. His response "Can't you give me any direction" so I told him I just did. He walked away looking somewhat unhappy.

 

[saps]

 

[Theone233]

I'm glad this issue effects others too. I'm trying to find a way to deal with this happening. People come to me asking for advice and I'm the type that wants to help anyone. I will take peoples body fat and then set up nutritional guidelines for them for bulking or cutting. I had a good friend come to me the other day asking about my carb cycling that I'm doing. I expalined it to him and he goes I want to try it. I figured everything out for him and 10 mins after he leaves he text me saying hes going to tweek it a bit. Then today he text me saying it was too hard, he has to stop but he will bump up his cardio and things will "tighten" up...:banghead:

 

[Miss Q]

Well, there are quite a few people getting ready for competitions, especially at my gym. I've had a couple of people ask for my opinion and most can take constructive criticism very well. There is a gal that has been dieting for the Emerald Cup who hasn't been making very much headway. She asked me in the locker room yesterday if she sent me some pictures if I could tell her what I thought and if she really busted her ass in the next 6 weeks if she could do it. I already knew my answer but said sure. After I was done lifting I saw her text with 2 pictures, one front that only went down to about mid-thigh and the second was a side-model pose again about mid-thigh (if that). I think she purposefully left out the majority of her lower body and no back shot because this is where the majority of her problems are. This is what I sent back to her:



Which I thought was honest but gentle...no text back. I guess she wanted me to tell her that heck yeah, totally doable! Kick ass the next 6 weeks! But even if she were to lose an average of 2 pounds per week she'd still be about 6 weeks (or more) out physique wise in my opinion. I've also been hearing that she's been cheating quite a bit and drinking. Which you can see with her lack of progress.

Well, this morning she BEAT me to the gym! LMAO! She had already lifted and was doing cardio and man she looked PISSED! -> Oh well, I guess she's using it as motivation. Good! Prove me wrong! It's not like she's going into one of the largest regional shows in the NPC...oh WAIT! The thing is the word: "Competitor" to me means you are going to be competitive.

NO TEXT BACK??!!?? Wow....so SHE asked your for a favor and you were kind enough take your time and answer her back...and then NOTHING???

Oh no she didn't!! :sport-smi

It's funny, I recently had someone ask me for advice on cardio and after I was done explaining my thoughts she then preceded to tell me how she planned to do it!! I walked away thinking what the F...why did she even bother to ask??!!? People are funny!!

 

[lynx]

Lynx,

People value the information by how much they pay for it.

You are giving your very good information for free so they are not valuing it.

It took me a long time to realize this.

For years I gave free advice, training etc at my gyms. The people did not respect the training or information until I started charging for just about any suggestions, training, info etc.

Their respect jumped dramatically.

I know you want to be a nice person but in this situation I think it is better for yourself to no longer give free advice but to refer them to a price sheet you make up for them.

You're so right. I finally started charging for posing because so many people were asking me for help. I explicitly tell people that I do not train or do diets but eventually someone wears me down and I just end up giving it to them.

 

[lynx]

NO TEXT BACK??!!?? Wow....so SHE asked your for a favor and you were kind enough take your time and answer her back...and then NOTHING???

Oh no she didn't!! :sport-smi

It's funny, I recently had someone ask me for advice on cardio and after I was done explaining my thoughts she then preceded to tell me how she planned to do it!! I walked away thinking what the F...why did she even bother to ask??!!? People are funny!!

Yeah, she wouldn't even look at me this morning, lol! One of our friends said, you should talk to her so I thought about it and...nope, I stand by what I said. If she doesn't like it then she shouldn't have asked.

I just came from doing calves/abs and she showed up and did another cardio session, guess she's going for it. I saw her at the front desk and said hi and some small talk but decided it wasn't up to me to bring up the elephant in the room. I already gave her my two cents.

 

[concreteguy]

Yeah, she wouldn't even look at me this morning, lol! One of our friends said, you should talk to her so I thought about it and...nope, I stand by what I said. If she doesn't like it then she shouldn't have asked.

I just came from doing calves/abs and she showed up and did another cardio session, guess she's going for it. I saw her at the front desk and said hi and some small talk but decided it wasn't up to me to bring up the elephant in the room. I already gave her my two cents.

Lynx, your way to nice of a person. This moe-ron can't see the forest threw the trees. I wish I had an IFBB Pro that was willing to shoot straight with me. I would never give her any more than a smile from this day forward. If she wants to talk? Talk about $s for your Professional time and advice.
Just my two cents, but I'm sure you already know this.

CG

 

[thebrick]

Does anyone remember that song with the lyrics:
"Don't ask me what I think of you, I might not give you the answer you want me to…"

 

[Theone233]

fleetwood mac oh well

 

[Racepicks]

No good deed goes unpunished, I guess. After all is said and done, I bet you continue to help people with your advice. That's what good people do.

 

[buresu]

lynx, how is your husband doing...forgot his username, he used to post pretty frequently but didn't hear from him lately...is he still deadlifting heavy for 30 reps wish you guys the best

 

[AlphaMaleDawg]

"hey bro, I am looking to gain muscle and lose fat. What should I do"?

Then when you tell them you can't do both at the same time (since they are all natural), they look at you like you are full of shit.

 

[NZRABBIT]

Would certainly make me laugh if she was a member here

 

[maldorf]

"hey bro, I am looking to gain muscle and lose fat. What should I do"?

Then when you tell them you can't do both at the same time (since they are all natural), they look at you like you are full of shit.

Well, I think that it is very possible to do those two things at the same time when natural. It is much harder to do natural, but it isnt impossible.

 

[anthrogeekuconn]

NO TEXT BACK??!!?? Wow....so SHE asked your for a favor and you were kind enough take your time and answer her back...and then NOTHING???

Oh no she didn't!! :sport-smi

It's funny, I recently had someone ask me for advice on cardio and after I was done explaining my thoughts she then preceded to tell me how she planned to do it!! I walked away thinking what the F...why did she even bother to ask??!!? People are funny!!

I totally agree with both you ladies.

I can't stand when people ask for my opinion or advice and then just ignore me when they don't hear what they want!

 

[method2madness]

Nobody is truly ready to compete if they are motivated by external factors like peoples opinions. She is only truly ready to be competitive she wants it for the right, personal, internal motivations.
Peace to all,
M2M