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Don't want my honest opinion, then don't ask

Exactly, I wish she'd just not share anything but a smile.

Lynx,

People value the information by how much they pay for it.

You are giving your very good information for free so they are not valuing it.

It took me a long time to realize this.

For years I gave free advice, training etc at my gyms. The people did not respect the training or information until I started charging for just about any suggestions, training, info etc.

Their respect jumped dramatically.

I know you want to be a nice person but in this situation I think it is better for yourself to no longer give free advice but to refer them to a price sheet you make up for them.

You can tell who is hungry and not wasting your time......
 
Lynx,

People value the information by how much they pay for it.

You are giving your very good information for free so they are not valuing it.

It took me a long time to realize this.

For years I gave free advice, training etc at my gyms. The people did not respect the training or information until I started charging for just about any suggestions, training, info etc.

Their respect jumped dramatically.

I know you want to be a nice person but in this situation I think it is better for yourself to no longer give free advice but to refer them to a price sheet you make up for them.
Agreed with Lynx, JT and more specifically you too. What you have above is all too true!
 
Lynx, you did the right thing. If this girl does the competition, she will probably come back and thankyou for your honest critique. Miss Q says that sometimes I am too honest with my critiques.
 
well, you always gotta be positive and tell her YES YOU CAN DO IT !!! TRY Even harder...

what's the worst case scenario ? she fails and she will try harder next time... but at least she won't hate you, we all know the truth hurts ! so don't tell her the truth, let her find out about the truth

^ That's better than saying no you can't in a polite way

that's just my opinion on things
 
Lynx, I think you were extremely diplomatic with your response! Competitive bodybuilding is a sport that requires total, if not brutal, honesty...You can't hide from the mirror or the judges!! Until her attitude changes, she will never achieve the goals she is pushing for. You're an IFBB Pro...To not take your constructive criticisms to heart shows she isn't ready to proceed to that next level!! See what her attitude is in another day or two!!
 
well, you always gotta be positive and tell her YES YOU CAN DO IT !!! TRY Even harder...

what's the worst case scenario ? she fails and she will try harder next time... but at least she won't hate you, we all know the truth hurts ! so don't tell her the truth, let her find out about the truth

^ That's better than saying no you can't in a polite way

that's just my opinion on things

Allow me to paraphrase : It is better to lie to people so that they will feel good about you than to tell them the truth and risk offending them.

Blowing smoke up someone's ass is doing them a disservice and comprises your integrity. But if making sure they feel good about you is more important to you than being honest, then by all means do what you need to do and call it being Positive.

I finished dead last in the light heavies at the Emerald one year. Everyone in the gym had be complimenting me as I got ready for the show so I was pretty confused about what was wrong. So, I asked one of the judges who happened to be from my home town of Anchorage. He told me I was too fat and that he hoped I would never show up representing Alaska again in that kind of condition. I really had no idea until someone was brutally honest with me.

Guess who showed up peeled for his next show?
 
she will go and do it on her own and get blown out...she will feel stupid even backstage when she looks around and knows u were right...then 2 weeks later she will tell you that you were right, and ask if you will train her for her next one...youll probably gain a full client off her fail lol...
 
Lynx. There are Givers and "Takers" few in between. You are JT are Givers. That's why life is good for you guys

Johnny Ringo
 
Lynx, your way to nice of a person. :) This moe-ron can't see the forest threw the trees. I wish I had an IFBB Pro that was willing to shoot straight with me. I would never give her any more than a smile from this day forward. If she wants to talk? Talk about $s for your Professional time and advice.
Just my two cents, but I'm sure you already know this. :)

CG

Thanks CG. :)

lynx, how is your husband doing...forgot his username, he used to post pretty frequently but didn't hear from him lately...is he still deadlifting heavy for 30 reps:) wish you guys the best

He's sad because I kick his a$$ training, and eating, and in math and...well, I could go ON and ON! :D He goes by Jethro Tull on here. :)

Lynx, you did the right thing. If this girl does the competition, she will probably come back and thankyou for your honest critique. Miss Q says that sometimes I am too honest with my critiques.

I only ever ask JT when I really want to know. Then I got sit in a corner and cry a little. ;) I know he would never let me look like a fool.

well, you always gotta be positive and tell her YES YOU CAN DO IT !!! TRY Even harder...

what's the worst case scenario ? she fails and she will try harder next time... but at least she won't hate you, we all know the truth hurts ! so don't tell her the truth, let her find out about the truth

^ That's better than saying no you can't in a polite way

that's just my opinion on things

Interesting take on it. However, in this sport it becomes readily apparent when you step on stage, either you did the work or you didn't and there is no hiding at that point. If she were in a weight loss contest then absolutely I would cheer her on and tell her to go for it but that's not the case here. In the end she asked for an honest assessment and if that's what she wanted why would I lie?

Allow me to paraphrase : It is better to lie to people so that they will feel good about you than to tell them the truth and risk offending them.

Blowing smoke up someone's ass is doing them a disservice and comprises your integrity. But if making sure they feel good about you is more important to you than being honest, then by all means do what you need to do and call it being Positive.

I finished dead last in the light heavies at the Emerald one year. Everyone in the gym had be complimenting me as I got ready for the show so I was pretty confused about what was wrong. So, I asked one of the judges who happened to be from my home town of Anchorage. He told me I was too fat and that he hoped I would never show up representing Alaska again in that kind of condition. I really had no idea until someone was brutally honest with me.

Guess who showed up peeled for his next show?

Like what Norm said, I have to be able to look at myself in the mirror and know I didn't do her a disservice.

Lynx. There are Givers and "Takers" few in between. You are JT are Givers. That's why life is good for you guys

Johnny Ringo

Thank you Johnny. :eek:
 
Allow me to paraphrase : It is better to lie to people so that they will feel good about you than to tell them the truth and risk offending them.

Blowing smoke up someone's ass is doing them a disservice and comprises your integrity. But if making sure they feel good about you is more important to you than being honest, then by all means do what you need to do and call it being Positive.

I finished dead last in the light heavies at the Emerald one year. Everyone in the gym had be complimenting me as I got ready for the show so I was pretty confused about what was wrong. So, I asked one of the judges who happened to be from my home town of Anchorage. He told me I was too fat and that he hoped I would never show up representing Alaska again in that kind of condition. I really had no idea until someone was brutally honest with me.

Guess who showed up peeled for his next show?


EXACTLY!

If you tell someone they can do it and in reality they can not you truly risk having others see you as a bad coach/trainer.
 
Well, I think that it is very possible to do those two things at the same time when natural. It is much harder to do natural, but it isnt impossible.

either way, it isn't the best way to approach things. It's too difficult and you can argue that it isn't even possible for a natural. It's better to lose the fat, then build the muscle in those instances.
 
I think you were put in a no win situation from the start. The unfortunate thing is that now there is the “elephant in the room”

lynx, how is your husband doing...

Im sorry to go ot but I didnt know you two had married *in tears as i type this* Congrats! Im so happy for you! -nosmas
 
Last edited:
Kudos to you for not sugar coating....in the end it's better the way you approached it in my opinion....I'm in a small town and the popularity in physique sports is picking up...I have to say (not bragging) but I have more stage/show experience than anyone in my town. I attend/expedite/guest judge every show in my state and a lot in the states around me. People come to me all the time asking my opinion and I give it to them. Some have rejected it, some take it and apply. You know as well as me if someone is ready you will tell them, and if they aren't, well, you will tell them. There is a chick from here competing at the arnold this weekend...poor thing is going to get waxed because all the "girls" and people who know nothing of the sport tell her she looks amazing, she is going to win, etc. etc etc....

As far as my prep goes, I don't want to hear "you look good" until the week of the show when the work is done...I'm a little different. People have a hard time differentiating what looking good in a gym solo and looking good on stage beside others in like (or better) conditioning is.

I wish everyone would or could compete if that is what he/she wants to do...but as you said, there is a lot to be defined in the word "competitor".
 
I think you were put in a no win situation from the start. The unfortunate thing is that now there is the “elephant in the room”



Im sorry to go ot but I didnt know you two had married *in tears as i type this* Congrats! Im so happy for you! -nosmas

Lol, we didn't Nomas. I just didn't want to go through explaining it. :eek:

As far as my prep goes, I don't want to hear "you look good" until the week of the show when the work is done...I'm a little different. People have a hard time differentiating what looking good in a gym solo and looking good on stage beside others in like (or better) conditioning is.

I wish everyone would or could compete if that is what he/she wants to do...but as you said, there is a lot to be defined in the word "competitor".

I am always hearing how people are going to kill it on stage cause they are so freaking ripped...then I tell them no, there is a huge difference between looking good in the gym mirror and looking good on stage.
 

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