I understand where your coming from but I'm secure enough to give someone a chance if it is something causing them to act a certain way..she is the mother of my child so I would never kick her to the curb even if she was cheating.. I have a daughter so I will always treat her mother with respect as I think she should see that and demand that in her future relationships.. have you guys heard of analmost psychosis state in female steroid users before?? Any idea on how long I could expect this to continue if it is the var?
Even if the Var is a contributor, I can guarantee you it is a small part of it.
I know nothing about her or the situation...and neither does anyone else here, other than what you've told us. Everything else is pure speculation. Break-ups like this can be very painful, especially because you live with her and have a child together. A break-up under these circumstances is more like a divorce--very emotionally traumatizing.
You keep saying "she is just throwing away our family", but remember...that is YOUR perspective. From her perspective she is not throwing away her family, she is only throwing away you...and keeping her child. So, if she doesn't want you (as painful as that might be), she is not going to consider you her family and therefore will not see a break-up as "throwing away" the family. She will simply see it as moving onto another life without you in it.
I will not counsel you on what to do, aside from this one thing. PUT YOUR CHILD FIRST! If this relationship falls apart, you NEED to adopt a mind-set that says "no matter how much this hurts...no matter how difficult this is...I am going to continue being competent and capable for the sake of my daughter. I will make decisions in her best interest over everyone else's, including my own". Even if you have to function on autopilot in order to do so, do whatever it takes to get the job done.
Do not be the kind of piece of shit father that walks away from their daughter...or throws 90% of the responsibility for raising his daughter on the mother. Do not do that. Your very first priority, should you end up leaving the house (even before you leave the house), is to hire an attorney to file a motion for child custody/visitation. If you think you would be a better parent to the child than the mother, go for full custody. If not, your other options are joint custody or visitation. Personally, as a father myself, I could not imagine not doing everything within my capability to ensure that my child remained in my life as much as possible. Standard visitation sucks. You will only see your child every other weekend...and one day during the week for 4 hours. You will basically see your daughter 4.5 days out of each month...and that's it. That is not good for your daughter or you. So, if you having custody is not the best option or you are unable to get it, fight for an extended visitation schedule, in which you see your daughter considerably more than what the standard visitation schedule allows for....or even go for joint custody with an extended visitation schedule.
I cannot stress enough that no matter how much you may be hurting...or how much you might miss your ex, do NOT put her or your needs/desires over your daughter's...ever. If you do, you will severely regret it. Remember, if this woman becomes your ex (which is very likely if the relationship is already at this point in your mid-20's), you will eventually get over her and move on...and she will only have been a relatively small part of your life, considering all the time you have left. But...your daughter will be part of your life forever and she is your own flesh and blood, so your loyalty should ALWAYS be to her first...NOT the woman who wants to leave you!
There's way too many hurting and damaged children in this world because their piece of shit father's decided they no longer wanted to be fathers. Such men are unworthy of the children they have created. Above all, don't be that man. Lastly, considering what you've told us, it's seems very likely that your girlfriend may already be compromising your daughter's best interests. If so, your daughter is going to need you now more than ever.
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