Mike Arnold
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Mike it really doesn't sound like the guy is planning to abandon his kid, quite the opposite actually...
I wasn't inferring that he was. My apologies if my post came off that way. That wasn't my intention at all. My point is that in many cases, the father, after a divorce/break-up, ends up falling apart (emotionally) and as a result, he ends up compromising his child's(s) best interests, even if unintentionally. He's so busy thinking about his ex...and his mind is so messed up...that he fails to file a court motion (in a timely fashion) to determine custody/joint custody/extended visitation. Inevitably, the child just ends up staying with the mother...often permanently, while the father eventually ends up with standard visitation (which is NOT good for the child). Even worse, in many cases the father never ends up going to court at all.
The harsh reality is that going to domestic court (immediately) is an absolute NECESSITY after a divorce/break-up when children are involved...unless the father is willing to roll the dice regarding his child's welfare and father-daughter relationship. In many states the mother automatically gets custody of the child after a divorce...and if the couple was never married, the father will absolutely have to fight for custody/joint custody/extended visitation.
Otherwise, the mother will end up determining what kind of relationship the father has with his child...and if she is an evil vindictive bitch (like so many ex's are), both the father and child are going to suffer for it. Leaving sole legal control of your child in the hands of the one who treated you like dog-shit and dumped you is a dumb-ass move.
If his relationship ends (even BEFORE it ends), the first thing he should be thinking about is how he is going to handle the issue of parental rights from a legal standpoint...and he needs to have a plan ready to put into action. If he wants to ensure that his daughter is not only well cared for, but remains an integral part of his life, this is mandatory.
Too many fathers wait too long take go to court over this issue because they are still trying to put back together the relationship (even when its clearly over) and they think that bringing their ex to court will only harm their chances of reconciliation. In reality, all they are doing is harming their child. Of course, this is unintentional...but I've seen it happen too many times now and it never works out well.