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Engagement over, advice on moving on?

BIG DALE

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Oct 20, 2010
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I'm 25. Me and my ex fiance broke up about 3 weeks ago. We were together 4.5 years. I'd do anything to get her back but I'm afraid that ships sailed. Any bros got advice on moving forward? I've nailed 4 different women already, multiple times but it's just not helping. I've lost my appetite, motivation to train and I'm just all around in the shitter. Any advice appreciated.
 
Time heals everything mate.....

Take some time out, re-assess..

Concentrate on living without a girl, before you learn to live with one again..

Learn to be comfortable in yourself and not rely on others/or a particular partner to make you happy..

I found once you conquer this, you get to know yourself from a-z..

You'll be all the better for it.. and move onward and upward from there..

Think of the positive.. best you break up now, than later on.. You're still young and have plenty of time before you'll truly feel the need to settle down..
 
When things go wrong

From time to time many things will go wrong. And yet very few of them continue to stay wrong. Most wounds begin to heal almost from the moment they occur. Even the most unbearable grief will start to subside as life continues to move along.

Things that are broken get repaired or replaced. Strategies that don’t work become lessons that help you to discover and develop what will work.

When things go wrong it is not the end of the world. It is, instead, the beginning of progress and improvement, learning and growth. When things go wrong you get to find out where your efforts will truly be most effective. You get the opportunity to build and to strengthen your character, your skills, your persistence and your confidence.

Don’t wait or wish for things to go wrong. But when they do, move on, move up and move forward.

— Ralph Marston
 
Moving on is difficult without a doubt. Going out and picking up other women only made it harder for me during those times. I typically would compare them to the one lost which was never good.
The best thing you can do are the things you are losing interest in. Don't let that happen. Start telling yourself that "you are alright"! Not I'm going to be alright that is passive, YOU ARE ALRIGHT. I know it sounds quirky but it works. It's just like when you go in to the gym and are going to do heavy squats. If you tell yourself that it's going to be heavy and hard to lift, guess what, it feels heavy and you may not be able to blast it up. But if you tell yourself that "I got this" guess what You got this!

I pray for the best for you!

Renewlyf
 
Live beyond it

Don’t live with the disappointment. Live beyond it.

You cannot stop what has already happened. However, you can let it make you stronger and more determined.

Instead of dwelling on the pain or injustice of what has happened, imagine the best possible outcome. Then get busy moving yourself steadily and passionately toward that outcome.

Life has the power to disappoint. Yet you have the power of life, and the power to move on to bigger and better things.

When you have been disappointed, it means you truly care, and that’s a very positive thing. Zero in on what you care about, and put your energy into advancing those things in your life.

Look ahead, and look at all the good and valuable things you can do. Look ahead, and step confidently forward with a renewed sense of purpose and determination.

— Ralph Marston
 
I split with my fiance last Nov, I decdided then it was a good time to take a break from dating and give myself some me time and introspection about what it is I really wanted from my next relationship.
I would say something like this would do you good, it takes time to get over someone and thats what you need.
 
How did you lose her if you don't mind me asking?
 
Yes I'm curious to know what was the cause up this break up

Maybe it will be worth getting back with her

did you cheat ? did you chris brown the shit out of her ? did she find out you juice, what happened be more specific !
 
when i split up with my ex wife....the thing that did me the most good wast to stay single for a while and learn more about myself. i learned so much in the 10 or so months with noone there to talk to but my cat.a small apartment with a tv and a matress...really gives you time to think. you learn a whole lot about yourself,mistakes you made and things you could have done different. most importantly of all for me....it gave me time to see i made the right choice by spliting up and how to prevent it in the future
 
I dont know if you will feel this or not. But Here goes.
Life is full of regret. People come and they leave. Good times are had.... and they end. Some people think that marriage is forever. Some not so much.

Its all about emotional investment. Too many times people invest some and then get burned and feel like its the worst thing that could ever happen to them.

When really...... the worst thing that can happen is that you invest a lot for a lot of years and then get burned... which results in a doubting of your manhood and ability to gain true happiness.

You have to commit at some point. If you are so prone. But I still feel like all things are subject to change. And if everyone is honest.... they believe it too.

In my opinion..... the worst thing that can happen is that you take rejection too personnaly and let it eat your soul. Remember the days of having girls chase YOU. Because trust me......... through their behavoir thay will manipulate you for sure.

Its in their blood my brother. No truer words have been spoken. Trust in yourself and be a good man. They will come.
 
Honestly don't waste your time with other women for a bit, I was in the exact same position a while ago.

GOALS, personal development... Do not tie your happiness to other individuals but create a few things you really want to do and go at them voraciously until the goal is met... It really helps get your mind off of it.

IE I wanted to learn how to box... All of a sudden I was taking 3 two hour boxing classes a day and different gyms... Immerse yourself in something, its not 100% healthy but it helps hide the pain.
 
I just got out of a 7 year relationship. I broke up with her. I remeber being so miserable while in the relationship. Now I miss her. Go figure.

Its been 5 months now. Well shes fucking my ex gym partner now so that ship has sailed.

What I can tell you from my experience thus far. It hurts. It hurts bad, and its going to hurt. But slowly the pain will subside. I know right now it may not seem like it but it will. I still think about her everyday I am not going to lie but its just thoughts not anything more.

Sleeping with girls will not help the situation. Ive done it. Sex is Sex and love is love.

Try and stay active. The appetite thing sucks but try and eat something anything maybe even junk if it will make you feel better. Do not stop training. Use the gym as your time to relieve stress, anger, sadness, whatever. The gym has helped me during this time now then ever.

If you need to talk you can PM.

Stay strong bro if its meant to be it will be.
 
I appreciate the responses guys. Me and the ex were not compatible at all we spent 4 years bending over backwards trying to make each other happy. In the end we just had to go our seperate ways, she was terrible in the sack too. She knows im on the sauce and she knows to keep her mouth shut about it. Thats over and done with its just whats best. Just tough to keep my mind off it because we lived together for about 3.5 years.
 
I appreciate the responses guys. Me and the ex were not compatible at all we spent 4 years bending over backwards trying to make each other happy. In the end we just had to go our seperate ways, she was terrible in the sack too. She knows im on the sauce and she knows to keep her mouth shut about it. Thats over and done with its just whats best. Just tough to keep my mind off it because we lived together for about 3.5 years.

It gets easier! Take time to heal, find yourself so you will know what you are compatible with, when it's time.
 
I'm 25. Me and my ex fiance broke up about 3 weeks ago. We were together 4.5 years. I'd do anything to get her back but I'm afraid that ships sailed. Any bros got advice on moving forward? I've nailed 4 different women already, multiple times but it's just not helping. I've lost my appetite, motivation to train and I'm just all around in the shitter. Any advice appreciated.

Focus nd in youself.Your awareness. She's probably sleeping with randoms and so are you. At the end....what matters is you. I've learn this...i am a serial dater....men always break my heart.You have to Stand AND PROVE to your self...u are still human...improve yourself...it will make u a stronger soul. At this point you are what matters. you can fuck..sleep who ever u want just for the pleasure..but u won't find the love/need until u are there urself.....if u find someone ar ur same level..then take it....most human beings aren't....sadly :( It takes a strong soul to look/feel ur soul...remember....IT HAPPENED FOR A REASON..IT WAS NOT MEANT TO BE...............SO BE HAPPY AND BETTER YOURSELF FOR THE NEXT PERSON WHO MIGHT BE THE "ONE" <3
 
I'm going through much the same. I'm a good bit older than most of you (51) and it was a same-sex relationship, but same issues. This one is hard to move on from.

One thing I will advise is to keep going to the gym, try to eat normally, and most of all DON'T DRINK. I fell apart, drank way too much (resulting once in a fall and emergency room), and couldn't even get close to working out. Nothing seemed worth it without him. Been taking a while to pull myself out of the rut...I just sort of hit bottom and thought "This is ridiculous," and started to come out the other side.

Like others have said, keep busy. You were fine before her, and you'll be that person again.

Time is the only sure-fire cure.
 
drop in the life support thread, got some good people in there with some good advice.
 
after 2 divorces, i have found out that flogging the midget is simpler and MUCH less expensive. That will be $125 for this sterling advice.
 
Such a great thread. So many great statements. My wife and I separated a year ago. She sold the house, took my son and moved on and it all seemed really easy for her, meanwhile I'm still beating myself up over it all and life consists of basically work, the gym and sleep. I guess I'm not finished being angry yet. We had almost 20 years together, married for 14 of them. I'm not saying things were perfect but none of the stuff that usually breaks people up were there. No cheating,beating, drug,booze or gambling problems. I just feel like the rug got yanked out from under me and I don't know if a new relationship is even possible at this point, it's not something I'm actively seeking.
 

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