feeling lost

[DK0223]

hang in there bro, we all go through this. as others have said, you look good now. once you cut up i think you'll really like what you see

 

[Calpoly]

Do you synthol your arms?

 

[LK3]

as much as im the first one to down play drugs I do feel there was one cycle I did that changed my shape, or rather after that cycle my shape has changed seemingly permanently. but there have also been other factors at play, but agina they are drug/sup related.


im 6'2" and have no proportions for competitive bb, I got that out of myhead years ago, but now that I seem to have much better shape the idea of running some real cycles does cross my mind from time to time, but then I come back around to why bother using all these drugs just to look a certin way, its a lot of drugs and at some point that will probably have other consiquences.

you would have to be more then 300lbs in contest shap to really be competitive, is that what you really want for your life and health? that's a lot of new mass and probably a lot of not so healthy new mass.

try to work the illusion of bb more, try and lean out a bit, try and make your shoulders wider, waist smaller and quads bigger, that will help you appear larger while probably being smaller/lighter/healthier.

Phils post is great, certainly not easy but something we should all try and work on every day. I try not to compare myself to anyone and just try and focus on building the best version of myself that is possible. but I still hold onto the unrealistic ideals of bb, size/shape/leanness.

since im sure someone will ask the thing that I feel helped change my shape was a huge cycle to support very high volume training. the training I put together was something I thought would help develop new nerve innerventions thus new muscle growth, maybe better shape. it seemed to work, after that I have much more of an x shape though nothing like what what is needed for pro level.

since doing that I haven't really done anything other then low dose/hrt sort of stuff and always look better even though I may be a little smaller, I also try and stay under 10% bf all the time.

once you get good at it you can work some voodoo with the drugs but the reality is the diet and training have to be on that level as well. I don't think I have ever met someone that kills the diet and training aspects I have met lots of people that use tons of drugs...

coaches and trainers are good for this as good ones will get the diet and training in order and maybe gently help with the chemistry aspet, but for most the first two are more important.

the other thing I think has helped me is that I have done everything I an think of to make myself more sensitive to hormones and drugs. traditionally I used very high doses but now I cant even go over 300mg t without seeing sides I don't like, I am far more sensitive to insulin as well, I have never used exo slin or gh.

 

[Swifto]

I think you look great, big guy, well done.

Losing some of that bf would make you look even bigger.

 

[premedmonster]

currently im trying to trim down which is why im on a little tren and anavar w some test prop. and the hgh is helping I think.

I did not synthool my arms for who asked my arms and traps grow and that's it lol everything else I had to beat the shit out of to make it grow.

my legs are the reason why I wont ever compete. theyre thick but t their length they would need to be MASSIVE.

the thing about "bulking" I have a problem with is when I add more then a few hundred grams of carbs I just get fatter then bigger. now I wasn't on hgh and slin then but still.

I appreciate all the advice and the compliments. its hard looking at guys who fill out at 5'6''-5'9'' and compare myself to them. I want a body kind of like frank McGrath that is kind of my goal.

hiring a coach is a good idea. money is tight usually I homebrew so anabolics are cheap that way and I go to school full time so still not in a career or anything.(if anyone knows a good coach that doesn't charge a lot PM me please!

right now I am considering a bulking cycle of a gram or so of test, 500 deca and 750-1gram of EQ. ive never got real cut up cuz I feel like im not "thick" enough? if that makes sense.

 

[premedmonster]

oh and I train hard as fuck. I actually am taking a few days off completely cuz my shoulder area and upper body feels beat to shit.

and by being "on point" with diet here is what I eat:

a LOT of grass fed/organic beef, wild caught fish swordfish salmon tilapia etc., raw milk, cage free omega eggs, and a couple diff protein powders. as for carbs right now im just eating enough to get me through the workout but I eat white or brown rice sweet and regular potatoes and that's about it. all fat comes from the beef or some nuts here and there but im cutting so not eating a lot of fat and carbs right now

 

[red5150]

Drop the permabulk never big enough mentality. You get to 250-260 and you have a physique that makes you look 300, guys in clubs will be like "damn" and makes most women swoon. You are not midget, have big arms, and delts, have all the show muscles, just get a little cutter. If you really want to compete fuck it just do a small show. Have realistic expectations,and dont compare yourselves to pros.

Really man learn to enjoy your height and be happy. Everyone always wants what they don't have, and often if they get it, they then learn they don't really want it.

 

[jake deman]

nasty

Dude, 6'4 and looking like that??? you are NASTY.

You are rolling with some serious body dysmorphia. Keep up the good work!!!

 

[Turkishexpress]

You're plenty big brother. You probably don't have pro bodybuilder genetics in terms of very full muscle bellies. However as Phil said, be the best you can be and learn to love yourself. That second part is very hard since many of us that have gone into bodybuilding or hypertrophy training usually have issues with distorted body image. We always feel small even if everyone around you thinks you're huge. I know I do. I always laugh people off. If I walk down the street with a tight shirt on, people make comments and some even take my picture (it just happened a couple of days ago at the international motorcycle show I attended). You have much better genetics than 90% of the population. If you trimmed down to around 10-12% bf I think you'll look sick.

 

[premedmonster]

well what I decided was this: im going to do a full on hardcore bulk cycle. never really did one the right way before(with hgh, slin, igf etc) and for long enough. I really wanna give my muscle a chance to GROW and get to the size I would be comfy with THEN trim down. rather then yo yo back and forth between bulk/cut/bulk/cut etc....

I know more gear isn't always the answer but it is an important part of growing. I will also take high carbs which I never really did for an extended period and with insulin/hgh involved

so im doing a "OCT" consisting of GNRH then clomid while im not on much gear right now. meanwhile ill be on 1000mg sustanon, 750mg EQ, and 500mg Deca, which will kick in as soon as im done bringing my boys back. I will also be utilizing HGH(kefei) which ive been on a month or so now, insulin(humulin r and yes ive taken it before and am comfortable with it) and IGF-1....not positive what protocol to follow just yet. but I feel like I need to give it one more run at getting the mass I need. ESPECIALLY in my legs. and I would love to compete just need to get the size to fill out my frame. I will do this for at least 3 months then prob drop the deca and switch to some tren or something to cut up a lil not sure but I will assess after a few months.....

macros will start around 350g protein 4-500g carbs and ~50g fats

 

[GreenEarth]

If those are awful genetics, I'd hate to hear what mine would be called

 

[LK3]

with all those drugs, seriously at your size you should eat way more! you should really be thinking 500-600g pro at a minimum, probably more fat carbs...eh tbd

i say this just because in real life i do not really see people train with direction, have you properly recovered before starting this venture?

do you have a progressive training program lined up? are you training to garentee success or just going to the gym?

starting those long esters while doing pct may not really count as doing true pct.

never front load, work up.

drugs and eating work better when you are leaner.

just things to think about...

 

[beastmode121]

you look good bro . You need a goal.. Cut or bulk ? You need the formula. It's simple.. If you tried everything , it's always good to hire someone that knows the formula better than you n transform your body .. High doses of Steroids isn't the solution


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Jizzmo]

with all those drugs, seriously at your size you should eat way more! you should really be thinking 500-600g pro at a minimum, probably more fat carbs...eh tbd

no, just... no.

 

[premedmonster]

no, just... no.

ya I don't think my body can metabolize more than maybe 400g. even with anabolics and growth factors in play

i am only going to front load EQ for obvious reasons...

and yes i will have a plan. more specific amounts of macros etc instead of just going off feel and look like i have in the past. i will seek out someone to help me with my diet.

and yes i know its not a normal run of the mill PCT but im stopping my injections as of 2 days ago so this stuff can really get my HPTA going again before that "bulk"

i am going to message Shelby right now to see about doing my diet for this next run...

 

[LK3]

i think at this point its pretty clear why you are not progressing in the manner of which you would like... lol

good luck!

 

[Queefer]

You are way, way off on your thoughts about competing. You say you have fairly big legs now, right. You could easily compete and do well, right now. If you would diet down to around 245 and come in shredded, you could easily win the supers at a state level show. It's all about being in shape, as the leanest guys usually win.

Another thing, you will most likely never be as big as you think you need to be in order to do well competing. Also, you will never ever think you have that look. You know what I mean, it's the bodybuilder look. As a tall guy, you will forever see yourself as the stringbean. I know I still do . As far as being competitive on a National level, well that's not going to happen. Unless you can get the size that Noah Steere had, there's no reason to even entertain the thought.

Lastly, I can tell you think the grass is greener on the other side. 99% of the guys on here would like to be taller. Hell, I'm 6'3 and wish I was 6'7. Maybe you should be more appreciative of what you do have and what you have accomplished.

 

[jay009]

The moment you start to value yourself less is the moment you start to diminish inside.

 

[Jizzmo]

i think at this point its pretty clear why you are not progressing in the manner of which you would like... lol

good luck!

yeah, i bet his progress in wrecking his kidneys would be way better if he consumed "at least 500-600gr of protein a day" :banghead:

 

[premedmonster]

You are way, way off on your thoughts about competing. You say you have fairly big legs now, right. You could easily compete and do well, right now. If you would diet down to around 245 and come in shredded, you could easily win the supers at a state level show. It's all about being in shape, as the leanest guys usually win.

Another thing, you will most likely never be as big as you think you need to be in order to do well competing. Also, you will never ever think you have that look. You know what I mean, it's the bodybuilder look. As a tall guy, you will forever see yourself as the stringbean. I know I still do . As far as being competitive on a National level, well that's not going to happen. Unless you can get the size that Noah Steere had, there's no reason to even entertain the thought.

Lastly, I can tell you think the grass is greener on the other side. 99% of the guys on here would like to be taller. Hell, I'm 6'3 and wish I was 6'7. Maybe you should be more appreciative of what you do have and what you have accomplished.

thanks queef. I do appreciate what I have. and I say I have shitty genetics because ive had to work pretty hard for 10 yrs to get t where I am, and just FEEL like I should have made more progress. anyway. so you are saying don't bother with trying to add mass or size? just lean up and focus more on recomp type then adding size?

I was going to start a cycle of test deca eq soon but may do something diff like test primo maybe tren as well....never used primo and can run it high like a gram. and depending on my goals my diet and supplements will follow of course....