First baby and loosing my toys

[italian007]

My girlfriend is pregnant with our first baby.I will be 27 in sept and she is 21. She is now 5 months pregnant. I am having trouble with getting use to not doing what i want. I have a mustang and she constantly talks about how its not baby friendly. She use to love it when i blasted ac/dc with my 3000 dollar sound system in my mach 1, now shes telling me to turn it down and that i dont need a loud stereo with a baby on the way. I have been saving money for baby things and putting some away for a motorcycle. She told me I couldn't spend that money on a motorcycle and now its going to the baby fund. I agreed but im still having a hard time loosing all my toys and freedom. I know I sound like a selfish asshole. Its just how i feel but i am making the right choices and thinking of the baby first. But I really feel like going out buying a motorcycle and a new surf board. My life is changing and flipping upside down. I kinda feel depressed. Has anyone else felt like this with their first baby?

 

[Ness]

Well...

I understand what youre saying with a few notes:

A) Get used to the feeling you have and it will probably get worse before it gets better.

B) Youre damn lucky you got a baby on the way. My selfishness has now led me to a super low sperm count and it going to cost me a ton of cash on stupid drugs to get back something I used to have, my fertility.

 

[Jello]

After you see your kid, you may still miss the things you had/wanted, but you really won't care anymore. One day you may look back and be surprised just what kind of sacrifices you may have made for your children and you just won't care, you'd do it again in a heart beat. Everything I've ever done for my kids I'd do again without thinking twice. You'll see

 

[infinity1]

This is the tip of the iceberg. There will be a life time of sacrifices once you have a family. So get used to giving up some of those things. I can assure you that none of those material things will even come close to the feeling of being a father. You have the rest of your life to buy some toys and you will certainly have time to do the things that make you happy...but remember you will be a father and that should mean more to you than a mustang or a surfboard.

 

[thebrick]

After you see your kid, you may still miss the things you had/wanted, but you really won't care anymore. One day you may look back and be surprised just what kind of sacrifices you may have made for your children and you just won't care, you'd do it again in a heart beat. Everything I've ever done for my kids I'd do again without thinking twice. You'll see

Right on! You make sacrifices to raise your kids and don't blink an eye. One day they are grown and THEN you buy more toys for you

 

[petersouth]

You may want to rethink this before you end up some divorced middle aged guy who's kids no longer talk to him making payments out the ass for the rest of his life.

Just a thought.

Run forest run.

 

[richiec]

Listen man, I had my first son with my wife 4 months ago. You will have to give up some things, but you won't miss them. Babies do cost money, but have her breastfeed and you will cut the cost in 1/2 right away. My wife breastfeeds and we don't but formula. Formula last about 1-2 days and it's like $20/tub. So tell her to whip them things out when he/she's hungry. That way you will still have some money for your things

 

[massmonster32]

Well as far as sacrafices yes your family comes first. So I say no on the motorcycle. However I do think that as long as the Mustang has a back seat you can fit the car seat no need to give that up but just keep the music down when they are in the car. But yeah your family is always first now just part of it. Good luck. MM

 

[ericraven2003]

Dude. You can get money back. When my daughter was born I was poor. When she was two I was making six figures. Now she is 11, I was laid off. I have had Escalades, vettes, motor cycles, etc. None of it, not one bit is worth more then time with my baby.
Don't take it for granite either. I worked huge hours to make the big money, and didnt spend enough time with the wife and kids for years. I almost lost them. Now they are everything, and have been for a few years.

 

[GymDudeVA]

Do you live together? If not, come to an agreement where you contribute $XX monthly, and spend XX hours. Almost anything else you do is none of her business. If you do live together, you are screwed. Maybe negotiate some things..she will surely agree to some things if she is reasonable...if she is not reasonable, run for the hills. Move out and come to an agreement.

She is is very young and is scared. She doesn't know what is and is not important for the baby. On your end, not everyone gets caught up in the joys of parenthood; if you don't, that is just the way you are and you re not a bad person.

 

[Achilles-reborn]

It's true it's true, sacrifices will jab to be made and your life is going to change for the better. I had children way younger than u an my first son truly saved my life and got me on a successful path at a young age.

Also take into account that your GF is probably nesting a little and dealing with more hormones than the members of this board

She will probably chill once things settle down. Good luck.

 

[Satrat]

I understand what youre saying with a few notes:

B) Youre damn lucky you got a baby on the way. My selfishness has now led me to a super low sperm count and it going to cost me a ton of cash on stupid drugs to get back something I used to have, my fertility.

I've just been through it mate, taken over a year to sort it out and i'm itching
to get back ON again.
Test is still on the low side but at least I'm getting a bonner in the mornings.
However now its just wait until I get the Mrs pregnent.

 

[BOOMSHAKER]

Mine is not totally related to your situation, but almost. I remember when I finally decided to sell my motorcycle. Just like you I saved up to pay cash for it. I had it about 7 months. Then one day I wanted to purchase something by way of credit. And guess what? I was turned down. This was many years ago. I decided I needed to act more responsible and clean up my credit. And what did I wind up selling? Yep, my motorcycle. It was the hardest decision to make but also one of the easiest. Sounds oximoronic, but it's true. Today, I have a pretty good credit score and nothing on my credit report thats negative. And it's all because I decided to do what's right. I am so glad I listened to myself and not my friends who told me never to sell my bike. Now I have the credit to go out and get just about anything, but motorcycles are no longer important to me. My granddaughter who turned 1yr old last week is. And I spend all of my extra cash on her and watching her play with all they toys I bring home. Best feeling in the world.

You may or may not understand it now bro, but in time you will see that your newborn deserves the very best you can afford to give him/her. And the feeling you get knowing your child loves your presents and your love is worth more then any motorcycle, car,or stereo system.

On a good note, the child won't be a baby for too long. A few short years and you maybe able to go and purchase your toys again. Having a baby is not the end of the world for men and their toys. You just have to prioritize what's important right now. Thats all. Good luck brother.