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- Joined
- Nov 26, 2007
- Messages
- 2,414
I've been thinking about a lot of things lately and just wanted to put a few thoughts into a post, as a little 'warning' if you will, for what this lifestyle can become... very fast....
Hopefully I can keep this on track and to the point.. A little background...
I started out as a tall skinny guy. I was a junior in High School at 6'1 and 163 lbs when I told myself I was going to get as big I possibly could. I was always fascinated by muscle my entire life, I have drawings from elementary and middle school of cartoon characters all with huge bulging muscles. So I honestly believe its been rooted in my head all my life. I still remember the first time I stepped into the high school weight room ( i was in middle school at the time) and I made a promise to myself by saying "someday I'm going to start lifting weights and get big and strong, but not yet". 4 years later I began that journey.
I started out where a lot of guys start, knowing NOTHING. I first used machines just to get the feel. Then later began with free weights. At first I was terrified of the gym because I was so damn weak and small and worried about what all the "big guys" thought of me. I was insecure. And it didnt help I had no one to guide me. I went through multiple lifting partners but no one was as dedicated as I was. I started taking NitroTech and CellTech thinking that was the secret to getting massive gains. I remember getting like 8 tubs of celltech on clearance thinking I was just going to blow up LOL. I honestly thought it was the secret. Over the years I spent tons of my hard earned money on supplements, thinking it was the key to growth. I ate what I could from my moms cooking and protein shakes.
I was on one forum back then, Wannabebig.com. So everything I knew came from that forum. I read it daily and implemented everything I could. In 3 years time I went from 165 lbs to 210 or so. The 210 was kinda chubby though, as I didnt know the correct way to diet despite reading the forum. It also had a ton of powerlifters on there and the mentality was eat til you puke and then eat some more. The forum also had a Anabolic Steroids section, which for the most part I stayed out of. My initial thoughts were the typical "steroids make your dick shrink! I cant believe people inject that shit into themselves!"
Well at 20 years old I got curious. I wasnt making the progress I wanted and at 205-210 lbs I still looked like a damn twig for as much work as I was doing. I NEVER missed workouts. I thought I was eating good. I started reading like crazy, researching beginner cycles and everything else. My lifting partner and I decided to go for it. We did 500mg of BD Test E for 14 weeks. Paid like $120 per vial hahahha. I blew up like I never knew possible, gained 30 lbs in 12 weeks, strength out of this world. I was getting comments from everyone, and I finally felt like I was getting somewhere....
I came off, did pct, and did everything I could to maintain the gains I made. Well of course I just started to shrink and get weaker as time went on. I told myself I would always stay off as long as I was on. SO for a couple years thats what I did, time on= time off. I got NO WHERE. I would get up to about 225, then shrink down to 205-210 (but lean) and then get back on and get up to 220-225 ish and shrink all over again. I stuck to mild doses, 500mg of test and 50mg dbol. Then later added in tren e at 200mg per week. At one point I did get up to 260 lbs, but I was a fat fucking mess. I was eating til I felt like I was gonna throw up at EVERY meal thinking it was the key to success. Downing 1000 cal shakes in the middle of the night. Eating every 2 hours. One day I finally woke up and said WTF have I done to myself? I took 5 months and cut down to about 210 but it was the best I looked by far. I was really lean and had more muscle.
That was about the time I joined Pro Muscle. The information I picked up from this place was mind blowing. I learned soooo much. I learned how to eat properly, train properly (DC training, Mountaindog, Phil's 3 day) better cycles, better drugs (sponsors), and a great group of guys. So for a couple years I basically did cycles that consisted of 500-750mg of test, dbol here and there, and tren e at about 2-300 mg per week. Those were my typical 3 drugs I used. Then I decided to do my first show. It was by far the best thing I ever did. I learned so much invaluable information as far as dieting/prep/aas goes. I thank Alex for that and everyone else that gave me input when I asked (Tenny, Lenny, Pesty, Jcagle, Q, Buselmo, etc)
At the same time, I realized the unfortunate reality of bodybuilding. To get anywhere for us guys lacking the genetics, we have to use drugs, lots and lots of drugs. Duhhh
Which is why I never progressed like I should have, the honest truth is I should have been upping the dosage earlier...
During my prep, I used way more than I was used to at that time. Multiple injects, multiple orals, multiple fat burners. I never came off after my show. I decided to blast and cruise. I was sick of the roller coaster ride of messing up my hormones and constantly up and down with everything.
I started using HGH, slin, and now messing with much higher dosages. High tren/test combined with EQ and Mast, (yeah, GH15 type shit), all of which costs a lot of money obviously... I'm 25 years old and will have to be on Test the rest of my life because I've ran high dosages for long periods and theres no coming back from that. Personally I'm fine with that. Unfortunately though, my ex wasnt cool with that. She broke off a 5 year relationship because she wasnt ok with me having to rely on taking illegal substances to be "normal". So this has affected my life BIG TIME. It has affected my family... Some of you may remember this one... 2.5 years ago the Drug Task Force was at my door with a search warrant. The warrant had my roommates name, but regardless I had plenty of gear in my room which of course they found. I got hit hard with $10k in debt that my parents had to pay to a lawyer to get me out of having "possession of anabolic steroids with intent to distribute" permanently on my record, not to mention saving my ass from prison time.... Thank God for Rick Collins. And I had the pleasure of calling my dad in jail to come pay a bondsman $3300 to bail my ass out (my bond was $33,000). Who the fuck wants to put their parents through that?? I had fines and was on probation for a year. I had just graduated college with a double major and I couldnt find a job for a while because it had yet to be expunged off my record. And there were about 2 pages full of charges against me that were "dismissed". Well, the dismissed charges will forever be on my record in plain site for all employers to see. For whatever reason dismissed charges aren't taken off. So that could affect me not getting a job over someone else with a clean record someday down the road...
Now obviously I've done some stupid things, I chose to live with a roommate who put me at risk, I chose to have a lot of AAS in my apartment, I chose to run high dosages for longer periods. Everyone who chooses this lifestyle isnt going to be affected the same way I have been. But for you guys just getting into this (mainly AAS), I hope you really look at what you're doing, set limits for yourself, and stick to them. Look at the ones around you and make sure to really understand how it can affect them... Things can get ugly very very fast...
It all started with a regular high school kid wanting to get bigger. Strictly innocent intentions. Well those innocent intentions can quickly turn into selfish motives that turn into addictions full of risks that come with repercussions.
Not trying to preach, just stay smart people Especially us young guys, sometimes we dont think about how much this can and WILL affect us in the future. And not only us, but the ones around us as well.
Hopefully I can keep this on track and to the point.. A little background...
I started out as a tall skinny guy. I was a junior in High School at 6'1 and 163 lbs when I told myself I was going to get as big I possibly could. I was always fascinated by muscle my entire life, I have drawings from elementary and middle school of cartoon characters all with huge bulging muscles. So I honestly believe its been rooted in my head all my life. I still remember the first time I stepped into the high school weight room ( i was in middle school at the time) and I made a promise to myself by saying "someday I'm going to start lifting weights and get big and strong, but not yet". 4 years later I began that journey.
I started out where a lot of guys start, knowing NOTHING. I first used machines just to get the feel. Then later began with free weights. At first I was terrified of the gym because I was so damn weak and small and worried about what all the "big guys" thought of me. I was insecure. And it didnt help I had no one to guide me. I went through multiple lifting partners but no one was as dedicated as I was. I started taking NitroTech and CellTech thinking that was the secret to getting massive gains. I remember getting like 8 tubs of celltech on clearance thinking I was just going to blow up LOL. I honestly thought it was the secret. Over the years I spent tons of my hard earned money on supplements, thinking it was the key to growth. I ate what I could from my moms cooking and protein shakes.
I was on one forum back then, Wannabebig.com. So everything I knew came from that forum. I read it daily and implemented everything I could. In 3 years time I went from 165 lbs to 210 or so. The 210 was kinda chubby though, as I didnt know the correct way to diet despite reading the forum. It also had a ton of powerlifters on there and the mentality was eat til you puke and then eat some more. The forum also had a Anabolic Steroids section, which for the most part I stayed out of. My initial thoughts were the typical "steroids make your dick shrink! I cant believe people inject that shit into themselves!"
Well at 20 years old I got curious. I wasnt making the progress I wanted and at 205-210 lbs I still looked like a damn twig for as much work as I was doing. I NEVER missed workouts. I thought I was eating good. I started reading like crazy, researching beginner cycles and everything else. My lifting partner and I decided to go for it. We did 500mg of BD Test E for 14 weeks. Paid like $120 per vial hahahha. I blew up like I never knew possible, gained 30 lbs in 12 weeks, strength out of this world. I was getting comments from everyone, and I finally felt like I was getting somewhere....
I came off, did pct, and did everything I could to maintain the gains I made. Well of course I just started to shrink and get weaker as time went on. I told myself I would always stay off as long as I was on. SO for a couple years thats what I did, time on= time off. I got NO WHERE. I would get up to about 225, then shrink down to 205-210 (but lean) and then get back on and get up to 220-225 ish and shrink all over again. I stuck to mild doses, 500mg of test and 50mg dbol. Then later added in tren e at 200mg per week. At one point I did get up to 260 lbs, but I was a fat fucking mess. I was eating til I felt like I was gonna throw up at EVERY meal thinking it was the key to success. Downing 1000 cal shakes in the middle of the night. Eating every 2 hours. One day I finally woke up and said WTF have I done to myself? I took 5 months and cut down to about 210 but it was the best I looked by far. I was really lean and had more muscle.
That was about the time I joined Pro Muscle. The information I picked up from this place was mind blowing. I learned soooo much. I learned how to eat properly, train properly (DC training, Mountaindog, Phil's 3 day) better cycles, better drugs (sponsors), and a great group of guys. So for a couple years I basically did cycles that consisted of 500-750mg of test, dbol here and there, and tren e at about 2-300 mg per week. Those were my typical 3 drugs I used. Then I decided to do my first show. It was by far the best thing I ever did. I learned so much invaluable information as far as dieting/prep/aas goes. I thank Alex for that and everyone else that gave me input when I asked (Tenny, Lenny, Pesty, Jcagle, Q, Buselmo, etc)
At the same time, I realized the unfortunate reality of bodybuilding. To get anywhere for us guys lacking the genetics, we have to use drugs, lots and lots of drugs. Duhhh
Which is why I never progressed like I should have, the honest truth is I should have been upping the dosage earlier... During my prep, I used way more than I was used to at that time. Multiple injects, multiple orals, multiple fat burners. I never came off after my show. I decided to blast and cruise. I was sick of the roller coaster ride of messing up my hormones and constantly up and down with everything.
I started using HGH, slin, and now messing with much higher dosages. High tren/test combined with EQ and Mast, (yeah, GH15 type shit), all of which costs a lot of money obviously... I'm 25 years old and will have to be on Test the rest of my life because I've ran high dosages for long periods and theres no coming back from that. Personally I'm fine with that. Unfortunately though, my ex wasnt cool with that. She broke off a 5 year relationship because she wasnt ok with me having to rely on taking illegal substances to be "normal". So this has affected my life BIG TIME. It has affected my family... Some of you may remember this one... 2.5 years ago the Drug Task Force was at my door with a search warrant. The warrant had my roommates name, but regardless I had plenty of gear in my room which of course they found. I got hit hard with $10k in debt that my parents had to pay to a lawyer to get me out of having "possession of anabolic steroids with intent to distribute" permanently on my record, not to mention saving my ass from prison time.... Thank God for Rick Collins. And I had the pleasure of calling my dad in jail to come pay a bondsman $3300 to bail my ass out (my bond was $33,000). Who the fuck wants to put their parents through that?? I had fines and was on probation for a year. I had just graduated college with a double major and I couldnt find a job for a while because it had yet to be expunged off my record. And there were about 2 pages full of charges against me that were "dismissed". Well, the dismissed charges will forever be on my record in plain site for all employers to see. For whatever reason dismissed charges aren't taken off. So that could affect me not getting a job over someone else with a clean record someday down the road...
Now obviously I've done some stupid things, I chose to live with a roommate who put me at risk, I chose to have a lot of AAS in my apartment, I chose to run high dosages for longer periods. Everyone who chooses this lifestyle isnt going to be affected the same way I have been. But for you guys just getting into this (mainly AAS), I hope you really look at what you're doing, set limits for yourself, and stick to them. Look at the ones around you and make sure to really understand how it can affect them... Things can get ugly very very fast...
It all started with a regular high school kid wanting to get bigger. Strictly innocent intentions. Well those innocent intentions can quickly turn into selfish motives that turn into addictions full of risks that come with repercussions.
Not trying to preach, just stay smart people
Especially us young guys, sometimes we dont think about how much this can and WILL affect us in the future. And not only us, but the ones around us as well.
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