Fuk'd up

[Femlifter]

My Ex and I broke-up 4 mos ago because I saw some shit I shouldn't have seen. He was writing negative shit about me and talking bad about me to this other girl he supposedly had no intentions of getting with.

We parted ways and I did not speak to him for 2 mos...no contact at all. Then 2 mos ago, he contacts me saying he wants to be "friends" because he cares about me and wanted to help me with my diet for my Figure show.

So we just emailed each other and nothing "else" was ever brought up. It was just strictly business and he didn't even want us being the type of friends who can discuss our personal relationships.

I knew he was seeing someone else after we broke up. Then approximately 3-4 weeks ago, he begins sending me underhanded hints (while he's still with this other girl) about "missing" me. I ignored his "hints" and just played along. Eventually he asked if he can call me, we spoke, and then emailed some more and spoke again. I went over and what was said and done was done. He then reverted back to being who he was, controlling. And I ended it again.

Now, I feel used and though I am an adult and made my own decision to see him, I do feel misled and angry at him. I don't want to talk to him or be his friend ever again.

I will always truly feel love for him, but I am angry and feel he did all of this to prove he can have me again.

Am I wrong for wanting to cut him off forever and not wanting to be his friend? I told him I need some time and don't want him contacting me and he hasn't. It has been better for me that way, but if he ever does, I'm not sure if I really want to communicate with him ever again.

 

[j4ever]

My Ex and I broke-up 4 mos ago because I saw some shit I shouldn't have seen. He was writing negative shit about me and talking bad about me to this other girl he supposedly had no intentions of getting with.

We parted ways and I did not speak to him for 2 mos...no contact at all. Then 2 mos ago, he contacts me saying he wants to be "friends" because he cares about me and wanted to help me with my diet for my Figure show.

So we just emailed each other and nothing "else" was ever brought up. It was just strictly business and he didn't even want us being the type of friends who can discuss our personal relationships.

I knew he was seeing someone else after we broke up. Then approximately 3-4 weeks ago, he begins sending me underhanded hints (while he's still with this other girl) about "missing" me. I ignored his "hints" and just played along. Eventually he asked if he can call me, we spoke, and then emailed some more and spoke again. I went over and what was said and done was done. He then reverted back to being who he was, controlling. And I ended it again.

Now, I feel used and though I am an adult and made my own decision to see him, I do feel misled and angry at him. I don't want to talk to him or be his friend ever again.

I will always truly feel love for him, but I am angry and feel he did all of this to prove he can have me again.

Am I wrong for wanting to cut him off forever and not wanting to be his friend? I told him I need some time and don't want him contacting me and he hasn't. It has been better for me that way, but if he ever does, I'm not sure if I really want to communicate with him ever again.

Maybe someone will chime in with some deep insight but for a quick answer no your not wrong esp if you still have love for this person. I am going thru something right now where i love someone deeply and it looks like we will be splitting up bc thats what she wants but there will be no friendship invovled as far as i am concerned bc it would be torture on me,so if you are like me in your situation i say part ways totally.

 

[prime]

Am I wrong for wanting to cut him off forever and not wanting to be his friend? I told him I need some time and don't want him contacting me and he hasn't. It has been better for me that way, but if he ever does, I'm not sure if I really want to communicate with him ever again.

No you are not wrong.

 

[bloodshed]

i would part ways. i cant fathom being with a relationship with someone, and then just being friends. im sure there are situations where it can work, but with me its all or nothing.

 

[Femlifter]

Thank you all for your replies. I guess the majority is no friendship. I do think it's better that way. Especially since I do feel misled and angry. The only problem is we have mutual friends so it might be difficult in that way. Our mutual friends both care for us deeply, but they should each respect our views and should not take sides.

I hate all this shit; I should've kept on ignoring him, but what's done is done and now I must deal with it and move on!

 

[Jello]

Just flip it around and say you used him to get what YOU wanted. This whole thing should just make it easier to stand by your decision to end it.

 

[Femlifter]

Just flip it around and say you used him to get what YOU wanted. This whole thing should just make it easier to stand by your decision to end it.

Hmm...that's an excellent p.o.v. I like that. And, you know what? Besides the physical aspect (eh)...I did get some of my stuff back...LOL!

 

[Jello]

Hmm...that's an excellent p.o.v. I like that. And, you know what? Besides the physical aspect (eh)...I did get some of my stuff back...LOL!

See....Silver lining in every cloud

 

[Shark22]

relationships are overated...

 

[Femlifter]

relationships are overated...

You are so right! I was so much better off...or shall I say I AM better off...not being in a relationship. That's why I had to say it wasn't for me again the 2nd time around.

The other "silver lining" is that neither me nor him, ever have to wonder what would've been. We now know we just don't work well together in a relationship and it should've been left alone. But, I'm just gonna look at it positively and move on...

 

[Shark22]

You are so right! I was so much better off...or shall I say I AM better off...not being in a relationship. That's why I had to say it wasn't for me again the 2nd time around.

The other "silver lining" is that neither me nor him, ever have to wonder what would've been. We now know we just don't work well together in a relationship and it should've been left alone. But, I'm just gonna look at it positively and move on...

The right person for you is out there and it will be a mutually respectful relationship with a great deal of trust.

 

[Femlifter]

The right person for you is out there and it will be a mutually respectful relationship with a great deal of trust.

Thanks

 

[Michaelthomasj]

The right person for you is out there and it will be a mutually respectful relationship with a great deal of trust.

Agreed. Move on from your ex and dont speak with him..thats the only way to get over him. Good luck

 

[pro_performance]

very true, just dont speak to him. if you start talking to him again, it will make it really hard not to go back, because human nature is to stay with what we know. Just be true to yourself because you are what matters and you also know what you need to do. Just do what you know is right and make your world a better place with positive people that you can trust and love.

 

[Femlifter]

very true, just dont speak to him. if you start talking to him again, it will make it really hard not to go back, because human nature is to stay with what we know. Just be true to yourself because you are what matters and you also know what you need to do. Just do what you know is right and make your world a better place with positive people that you can trust and love.

This was a very nice post. Thank you.

Though, I think he got the picture. All in all, I guess we used each other this very, very, brief second time around. I will not speak to him, but I do have to send him something in the mail I owe him. I don't like to owe anyone anything regardless of how insignificant it may be...it's actually pretty funny (LOL). He said I used up all his "GOOD" toilet paper so I might just send him a roll of Charmin extra soft 3 ply toilet paper with a bow and a note saying I don't want him contacting me.

 

[pro_performance]

Well, in life, we all actually use each other for one reason or another. Like a rebound after a good relationship, or like using my buddy to play drums in my band. About the note though, it almost makes you sound just a little desperate because just the fact of mailing him his stuff is an obvious leave me alone. Just be careful to not send the wrong signals. For example, sending that toilet paper (made me laugh typing it) while it is funny to you, seems almost like flirting in some odd way to me. But good luck, had a sister that fell in love with this guy, and yes she is not young or immature, but she just keeps going back to him and i want to kill that sob...so dont make the same mistakes over and over. You know the saying, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice..

 

[Avz]

This was a very nice post. Thank you.

Though, I think he got the picture. All in all, I guess we used each other this very, very, brief second time around. I will not speak to him, but I do have to send him something in the mail I owe him. I don't like to owe anyone anything regardless of how insignificant it may be...it's actually pretty funny (LOL). He said I used up all his "GOOD" toilet paper so I might just send him a roll of Charmin extra soft 3 ply toilet paper with a bow and a note saying I don't want him contacting me.

This is such B.S. Your tryin to find a excuse to contact him. It's not that fuckin hard... If he calls, texts, or whatever just don't reply. Any other way you contact him (even to tell him not to call you) means you want him.
I know this because when I cut off girls they try a lot of desperate shit.. It makes me like them even less.
If you send some shit like that to me I would instantly think "who the fuck
does she think she is" but I know that it takes some effort to buy toilet paper, wrap it, write a gay little note and send it. This tells me I could still hit that ass if I wanted to.
Don't give him that power

 

[Femlifter]

This is such B.S. Your tryin to find a excuse to contact him. It's not that fuckin hard... If he calls, texts, or whatever just don't reply. Any other way you contact him (even to tell him not to call you) means you want him.
I know this because when I cut off girls they try a lot of desperate shit.. It makes me like them even less.
If you send some shit like that to me I would instantly think "who the fuck
does she think she is" but I know that it takes some effort to buy toilet paper, wrap it, write a gay little note and send it. This tells me I could still hit that ass if I wanted to.
Don't give him that power

Wow! I gotta say I do love your BLUNT and honest response. The toilet paper idea was just that - an idea. I wanted to be a smartass, but I'll take heed to your advice. I do plan on ignoring him and have been happier now that he has not contacted me at all either. It's so peaceful...