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- Joined
- Mar 3, 2011
- Messages
- 3,006
Came across this today...
This made me laugh pretty bad from it, lot of juvenile humor FYI on the page
So I head out to this party last night. Wife beater, Jeans, Aviator Glasses, and my gallon jug of water. I take a spot on the couch, staring at the TV and slugging my H2O. Chick approaches me to talk, and the following ensues:
Her: You want a beer or something?
Me: <Condescending Sneer>
Her: Alright fine you dont have to be a dick about it.
I was acting ALPHA, but came on too strong, so as she was walking away i said "yeah, well, i actually drink this because i'm really into bodybuilding and i'm trying to get super cut up". and she's like "yeah i can tell you have a really good body". i start rubbing my abs and saying how hard i worked them today, and she asks if she can have a peek. at this point, i start speaking louder. "my ABS... you want to see MY ABS? i dont know if i can SHOW MY ABS in the MIDDLE OF THIS PARTY" all other chicks flocked as i lifted up my beater and revealed those six prize ripples. then some 5'10" 140 lb 13 inch bicep pretty boy shows up.
Pretty Boy: <lifting up shirt> what, you think you're special? you're nothing
(he had a decent six pack but no muscle, i call them SKINNY PACKS>
I take a big slug of my water jug and plot my next move. I ripped off my beater and hit the crowd with a lat flare. Excited Shrieks and cries of "oh my god, they look like WINGS!" ripped through the party. pretty boy then proceeds to show his abs again (what else is he gonna do; flash his 13" water pistols?"). I look at him, take another slug of water and say "Game over." With a side tri and back double that will be talked about for ages, I got a standing ovation from the crowd. Ladies flocked to feel up my ripped body as pretty boy stood there. All I could do was laugh.
So at this point I knew I had my pick of any girl at the party. I approached a sexy brunette and invite her to the upstairs bathroom with me, so i could "show her my biggest muscle". 10 seconds after closing the door she was slobbering my knob. As I finished, I walked straight out the front door, jacket over one arm and gallon of water in the other. "Call me!" she screams as I pile into my car. "We'll see" I respond (Keeping it alpha, letting her know she's nothing to me) and speed off into the night
This made me laugh pretty bad from it, lot of juvenile humor FYI on the page
So I head out to this party last night. Wife beater, Jeans, Aviator Glasses, and my gallon jug of water. I take a spot on the couch, staring at the TV and slugging my H2O. Chick approaches me to talk, and the following ensues:
Her: You want a beer or something?
Me: <Condescending Sneer>
Her: Alright fine you dont have to be a dick about it.
I was acting ALPHA, but came on too strong, so as she was walking away i said "yeah, well, i actually drink this because i'm really into bodybuilding and i'm trying to get super cut up". and she's like "yeah i can tell you have a really good body". i start rubbing my abs and saying how hard i worked them today, and she asks if she can have a peek. at this point, i start speaking louder. "my ABS... you want to see MY ABS? i dont know if i can SHOW MY ABS in the MIDDLE OF THIS PARTY" all other chicks flocked as i lifted up my beater and revealed those six prize ripples. then some 5'10" 140 lb 13 inch bicep pretty boy shows up.
Pretty Boy: <lifting up shirt> what, you think you're special? you're nothing
(he had a decent six pack but no muscle, i call them SKINNY PACKS>
I take a big slug of my water jug and plot my next move. I ripped off my beater and hit the crowd with a lat flare. Excited Shrieks and cries of "oh my god, they look like WINGS!" ripped through the party. pretty boy then proceeds to show his abs again (what else is he gonna do; flash his 13" water pistols?"). I look at him, take another slug of water and say "Game over." With a side tri and back double that will be talked about for ages, I got a standing ovation from the crowd. Ladies flocked to feel up my ripped body as pretty boy stood there. All I could do was laugh.
So at this point I knew I had my pick of any girl at the party. I approached a sexy brunette and invite her to the upstairs bathroom with me, so i could "show her my biggest muscle". 10 seconds after closing the door she was slobbering my knob. As I finished, I walked straight out the front door, jacket over one arm and gallon of water in the other. "Call me!" she screams as I pile into my car. "We'll see" I respond (Keeping it alpha, letting her know she's nothing to me) and speed off into the night
