GF talks to ex a lot ... red flag or being an asshole?

[Turkishexpress]

It's a red flag for sure but I have to say, she's in a rough spot. If she respects your relationship, she will curb her instincts and draw boundaries. However, you also have to understand her psyche right now. They have a kid together. I'm sure she's afraid that he will either hurt/kill himself or end up in jail due to his addiction which will affect her daughter. So she's probably still in the nurturing mode as a mother, both towards him and her daughter. Nothing wrong with that... but as others have suggested, you need to talk to her about it and let her know this is stressing your relationship and it may not be the best time for you guys to be together if she can't draw the boundaries that are necessary. Hope it works out for you brother.

 

[JuiceRoad.com]

Things are about to turn ugly any moment now broda! Watch out for the road signs.
Stay safe and keep Riding until it is time to change the oil.

 

[kingjmack]

Yeah, it is definitely a red flag in my opinion. My ex wife walked to her ex husband kind of like what you mentioned and it wasn't always about the kids. So, that is why she is now the EX.

 

[themuscle]

Get on the tren. It will speak to you and tell you what to do.............. probably not what you should do but it does speak to you lol


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[ndfit29]

Disrespectful

I think that's disrespectful on her part especially when she goes out of her way to talk to him when you two are in the middle of something together. Obviously they still have to communicate with the little girl and all but definitely not like that. Her ex is a grown ass man and should be able to figure out whether the kid can have cough medicine or not.

 

[graybass]

Holy Mother of God!!!!!! Guess what? You are his bitch! Jesus H Christ! Fix this shit now, today not tomorrow. This behavior would last about 3 seconds in my house. Listen I can understand an emergency call about kids but, that's about all that would be allowed. Tell her to tell him he has to stop calling as much or YOU will be paying him a visit. If she says no, there is your answer in plain English.
I showed this to my GF, she said "Tell him to grow a pair!" I kid you not. lol

BTW, I treat my GF with killer respect, and she shows me the same.

 

[WhyIncision]

Guess what? You are his bitch!.

Sadly, I agree.

The guy is dominating her and your time by calling/texting. He's finding any and every excuse to make sure his presence is known and it disrupts your lives for the sake of the kid. He's an addict and is abusive. He knows how to pull her heart strings and knows how to manipulate her and is doing so daily. You passively allowing this behavior only shows him that he OWNS you and your relationship. His calling and her willingness to answer and converse allows him to control the intimacy between you two. He enjoys the control, I guarantee it.

Set her down and tell her you do NOT want him calling past XXpm anymore unless it's an absolute emergency. If he can not seem to grasp this concept, turn the phone off. He's an adult an can figure shit out for himself. If she is unwilling to tell him, then it's up to you to flex on him and tell him what's going to happen. You have to mark your territory, stand firm, and if need be, fight for control. Manipulators like him need to be put in their place and reassured constantly of their position in the food chain.

 

[King-kong]

Girl I was seeing had an ex who was an abuser drunk drug addict. Nothing good about him. Doesn't even pay child support. Turns out she was still fuckin him but keepin me as a safe bet. Don't be blind. Dump the pig. If you mattered you wouldn't have this issue.
Trust me - I kept tryin cuz she's beyond hot and the sex was insane. 5,6 hours straight was not uncommon.
Don't waste your time. If they don't respect u now. They never will. Mine is still begging me to take her back. Never again. Once a liar. Always a liar.

 

[lntense]

Maybe they should follow in your footsteps and only EMAIL when it's absolutely necessary and pertains to the daughter.




That shit would strike my last nerve honestly, I know this may seem childish but I wouldn't be with her if she did that.


He is literally dictating her and your time together.

 

[brownbanana]

Thanks guys. She is actually an amazing woman and loves my kids a lot. Almost the perfect girlfriend.

Just this one thing fucking bugs me. I know she is over her ex-husband. He was an abusive alcoholic. I have no concerns about her going back to him or them talking inappropriately towards each other.

Like I said the convo is STRICTLY about their daughter or them parting ways such as the sale of their house etc. They ARE NOT talking about their past or talking about their day etc.

But they can talk every other day. She is an open book about it. She isn't hiding on her phone etc.

On one hand I feel like an ass because I don't want get between two great co-parents while mine is shittty. I mean what am I going to say ... hey babe can you talk about your daughter less? Can you two stop co-parenting so well?

On the other hand as a slightly possessive alpha male type I feel like she is still tethered to her ex-husband. Even if she didn't answer the phone when he calls or whatever ... what man wants to be with a woman who has to have constant contact with her ex?

Bro, none of us truly know your situation, only you do. Sometimes we need relationship advice but for the most part I dont tell others because they can only project their past experiences onto what you are saying. Remember that women are different than men. They can have plenty of male friends that they don't think about sleeping with. I can't say you should be concerned or you shouldnt, but you sound confident in what you say and sound paranoid in your concerns. Usually paranoia is incorrectly placed.

That being said, I do believe one should have boundaries. I just dont think it is so 'black and white' how other members tend to make it sound.

 

[WhyIncision]

Never again. Once a liar. Always a liar.

No truer words right there. Delt with the same shit recently. If she can lie to your face while being presented with the facts/truth, she won't stop lying ever. You can't love someone you can't trust.

 

[anarchocapitalist]

For an update. Talked to her about it. Said I'm not really wanting a relationship where you have to talk to your ex-husband once or twice a day even if its about your little girl. She understood and said they are just working out their divorce agreement and it was not about any kind of relationship talk.

Part of it was this was her ex-husbands only relationship ... ever. They were together for 15 years he was her first girlfriend and wife and he wasn't going to let her go so quick. Anytime he wanted to text or talk about the relationship she didn't respond back. I saw the text messages so it was all good.

I get that.

Moving forward lately its only been a couple convos a week trying to be good co-parents.

 

[massd1213]

That sounds a bit weird to me. Hopefully you guys can talk it out and set up some boundaries. Just remember it's strictly family related business now the whole call center died when the relationship ended

 

[ChemJr.]

Always a redflag imo, no matter what the "excuse" or wtvr u wanna call it.
Got one right now that was strangled by ex, but he's on the lease and pays half the rent, and she's been friends with him for 7 or 8 yrs before they dated so apparently she is ok with the fact that he strangled her ass. She's fkn nuts and I know it. Which is why I won't get to attached bc she's just gonna get me fkt over at some point.

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[Strongman37]

[emoji466] deffinatly women think dudes just wanna be friends i guaranty the right circumstance come along. Good luck brother

200lbs is always 200lbs

 

[Kaladryn]

Maybe he knows she is slacking on child care responsibilities.

 

[NathanJR]

Maybe, you try to speak with your GF, convince her that you are uncomfortable, that she and her ex maintain relationships. Try to explain, what you feel

 

[Blazed_Noob]

Communication is key, tell her how it makes you feel then go from there.

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[HEAVYsmall]

Communication is key, tell her how it makes you feel then go from there.

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+1 ... but yah red flag

 

[bdad]

red flag!!