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Girl drama need help

hugostiglitz87

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What’s up fellas stuck in a little situation. Long story short been dating this girl who I have a history with I have known her for 5 years on an off I broke up with my ex a little over a year ago after 5 years with her whom we are still friends with we just mutually broke up cause she has kids and wanted to focus on her kids and I understood. So I bump into the current girl Jessica recently back in November we hit it off right away she a cool chick she has the same interest as me she 2 years youngers than me really gorgeous girls little bi-polar but I work through it cause I like her so we been dating since November she really into. She lives 3 hours from me which sucks but we both weekends off and we switch off who comes to who. I don’t mind the drive its therapy to me to hit the road and think to myself. About 2 months ago we started getting serious but with that a little drama came we started arguing over dumb shit. But I just ignore it and let her think whatever.
Long story short she been in the Correctional officer Academy the last 3 months and it was hell for her and I but she graduates this Friday.
I was at her house this past weekend we had a fun time no drama spent Mother’s Day with her family etc. Sunday an hour before I was heading home, we were laying in bed and my ex texted me who I am friends with we talk a few times month if that. But my ex texted me an wished my mom a happy Mother’s Day and sent me a little photo of her and her family in the pool at Vegas. My girl saw that and flipped out on me started crying started to hit me etc 0-100 in a second. I should have been more discrete but I didn’t expect my ex to text me like that she never hits me up on the weekends and knows I have a girlfriend.
My girl was pissed she got all my stuff and through it outside got all the gifts I got for her and threw them at me crying cussing at me and told me to leave and I said wtf for? She started to ask me to let le me see your phone and I said fuck that I never asked you for your phone. I don’t have anything bad on my phone just old pics and messages from last year being single and didn’t want her to see that.
So, she got even more mad that I didn’t give up my phone and said I’m being shady etc. So, I said no I’m not, you know I’m not. But I respected her wishes after 10 minutes of drama and hit the road I had a 3-hour drive ahead of me.

The rest of that Sunday and drive back my ex was texting so much negative shit we are down she hates me I cant be be trusted bla bla.
I told her its my ex lol she means nothing to me and doesn’t impact our relationship the worst is we all pen pals or long distance friends. So, for hours she just be little me and told me are down you aren’t coming to my graduation.
And so here is the thing I want to go to her graduation this has been in the works for 3 months somehow, I got 2 days off during the week to go which wasn’t easy. Booked a room and its paid for already.
But my girl doesn’t want me to go she was on the same shit last nite telling me to cancel the room she done with me bla bla bla leave her alone don’t talk to her being dramatic.
But I know my girl she hurt over that text message but it wasn’t really that big of a deal. She has asked me to not talk to my ex and I don’t really but damn she just wish my mom a happy Mother’s Day they were close. My girl is really insecure and its sad.
I have done a lot for my girl and sacrifice a lot first time I did this for a girl ever anything of the things I did for her never done for a girl. She knows that but she tripping on me like I bang her milf mom.
So, I’ve been in this in a similar situation like this before with her and I didn’t end up going something we had plans for 2 months ago and she got upset and said if you loved me you would have gone after she repeatedly told me not to go.
So, by her not blocking my phone number and not blocking me on social media which she always does when she mad at me, does that mean she still loves me but is still hurt? And if so, do I say fuck it and still ride out the plans and see what happens. It’s a 7-hour drive to her Academy from where I live…


What do you guys think I should do? Do I go and ignore what she saying, she telling me to cancel the plans we are done bla bla leave her alone. Or go? I feel she wants me to go but is a dramatic little bitch right now. I already apologized to her in so many different ways she doesn’t seem to care based off her responses. I have 48 hours to figure this out before Thursday which would be the day I’m driving out.


Appreciate your help

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Dens228

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She's keeping your number and social media alive until she finds someone better.
 

hugostiglitz87

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She's keeping your number and social media alive until she finds someone better.
Well the text message aren't very pretty either she just so hurt over something so innocent. And I want to go to her graduation. Im proud of her and to show my support but she a stubborn girl with moods like no other.

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Smack

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This resonates with me a little. My honest opinion... I date a relatively similar girl long distance. Gorgeous, long blonde hair, never been told no in her life before, can be bipolar, dramatic, needy etc when she feels like it.

If she says dont come. You cant go. You have to have permission... Given the similar episodes the girl I'm seeing has had (after blocking my number and unblocking a day later) I think you just have to give her time to cool down. Apologize, apologize, apologize, say you'll tell your ex not to text you anymore etc.

If she's insecure she wants you to PROVE it to her you care. I would have to say shit that makes me cringe and think "oh god if my buddies ever saw this I'd be mortified" but I do it bc that's what she wants to hear lol.
 

hugostiglitz87

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Nov 2, 2016
Messages
403
What’s up fellas stuck in a little situation. Long story short been dating this girl who I have a history with I have known her for 5 years on an off I broke up with my ex a little over a year ago after 5 years with her whom we are still friends with we just mutually broke up cause she has kids and wanted to focus on her kids and I understood. So I bump into the current girl Jessica recently back in November we hit it off right away she a cool chick she has the same interest as me she 2 years youngers than me really gorgeous girls little bi-polar but I work through it cause I like her so we been dating since November she really into me. We have been dating a little over 6 months. She lives 3 hours from me which sucks but we both weekends off and we switch off who comes to who. I don’t mind the drive its therapy to me to hit the road and think to myself. About 2 months ago we started getting serious but with that a little drama came we started arguing over dumb shit. But I just ignore it and let her think whatever.
Long story short she been in the Correctional officer Academy the last 3 months and it was hell for her and I but she graduates this Friday.
I was at her house this past weekend we had a fun time no drama spent Mother’s Day with her family etc. Sunday an hour before I was heading home, we were laying in bed and my ex texted me who I am friends with we talk a few times month if that. But my ex texted me an wished my mom a happy Mother’s Day and sent me a little photo of her and her family in the pool at Vegas. My girl saw that and flipped out on me started crying started to hit me etc 0-100 in a second. I should have been more discrete but I didn’t expect my ex to text me like that she never hits me up on the weekends and knows I have a girlfriend.
My girl was pissed she got all my stuff and through it outside got all the gifts I got for her and threw them at me crying cussing at me and told me to leave and I said wtf for? She started to ask me to let le me see your phone and I said fuck that I never asked you for your phone. I don’t have anything bad on my phone just old pics and messages from last year being single and didn’t want her to see that.
So, she got even more mad that I didn’t give up my phone and said I’m being shady etc. So, I said no I’m not, you know I’m not. But I respected her wishes after 10 minutes of drama and hit the road I had a 3-hour drive ahead of me.

The rest of that Sunday and drive back my ex was texting so much negative shit we are down she hates me I cant be be trusted bla bla.
I told her its my ex lol she means nothing to me and doesn’t impact our relationship the worst is we all pen pals or long distance friends. So, for hours she just be little me and told me are down you aren’t coming to my graduation.
And so here is the thing I want to go to her graduation this has been in the works for 3 months somehow, I got 2 days off during the week to go which wasn’t easy. Booked a room and its paid for already.
But my girl doesn’t want me to go she was on the same shit last nite telling me to cancel the room she done with me bla bla bla leave her alone don’t talk to her being dramatic.
But I know my girl she hurt over that text message but it wasn’t really that big of a deal. She has asked me to not talk to my ex and I don’t really but damn she just wish my mom a happy Mother’s Day they were close. My girl is really insecure and its sad.
I have done a lot for my girl and sacrifice a lot first time I did this for a girl ever anything of the things I did for her never done for a girl. She knows that but she tripping on me like I bang her milf mom.
So, I’ve been in this in a similar situation like this before with her and I didn’t end up going something we had plans for 2 months ago and she got upset and said if you loved me you would have gone after she repeatedly told me not to go.
So, by her not blocking my phone number and not blocking me on social media which she always does when she mad at me, does that mean she still loves me but is still hurt? And if so, do I say fuck it and still ride out the plans and see what happens. It’s a 7-hour drive to her Academy from where I live…


What do you guys think I should do? Do I go and ignore what she saying, she telling me to cancel the plans we are done bla bla leave her alone. Or go? I feel she wants me to go but is a dramatic little bitch right now. I already apologized to her in so many different ways she doesn’t seem to care based off her responses. I have 48 hours to figure this out before Thursday which would be the day I’m driving out.


Appreciate your help

Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk


Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk
 

hugostiglitz87

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Nov 2, 2016
Messages
403
This resonates with me a little. My honest opinion... I date a relatively similar girl long distance. Gorgeous, long blonde hair, never been told no in her life before, can be bipolar, dramatic, needy etc when she feels like it.



If she says dont come. You cant go. You have to have permission... Given the similar episodes the girl I'm seeing has had (after blocking my number and unblocking a day later) I think you just have to give her time to cool down. Apologize, apologize, apologize, say you'll tell your ex not to text you anymore etc.



If she's insecure she wants you to PROVE it to her you care. I would have to say shit that makes me cringe and think "oh god if my buddies ever saw this I'd be mortified" but I do it bc that's what she wants to hear lol.
Same exact girl lol accept mine a short smoking Latina. Who is very angry right now. She hurt I feel if I show up it mite be worth it but she telling me not go what I did was bad etc. I can't fix this we are done bla bla. And my girl is in love with me obsessed she just hurt over that text. I understand why she mad
But she has nothing to worry about. Holly shit.

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Crazy_jay

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Jan 15, 2016
Messages
272
If you care about her, I'd go. She might not be all hugs and kisses to see you, she might tell you to leave but I bet when she cools off a little bit and gets to look back on this moment, she'll appreciate you were there. I think if you dont go, there's no coming back from that. Actions speak louder than words, show her shes worth a 7 hour drive even when shes pissed at you.

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hugostiglitz87

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If you care about her, I'd go. She might not be all hugs and kisses to see you, she might tell you to leave but I bet when she cools off a little bit and gets to look back on this moment, she'll appreciate you were there. I think if you dont go, there's no coming back from that. Actions speak louder than words, show her shes worth a 7 hour drive even when shes pissed at you.

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Amen brother that's what I'm gonna do fuck it.

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Smack

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Amen brother that's what I'm gonna do fuck it.

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On the other hand.... Imagine if she just wants some space, then you show up and ruin her graduation after she asked you not to show. That is not something she will forget.

There's no way of knowing how she'll react for sure (everyone is different) but I think if you REALLY wanna go (which it seems you're dead set on anyway) you need to ask for her permission, say you'll sit in the back, beg etc
 

hugostiglitz87

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On the other hand.... Imagine if she just wants some space, then you show up and ruin her graduation after she asked you not to show. That is not something she will forget.



There's no way of knowing how she'll react for sure (everyone is different) but I think if you REALLY wanna go (which it seems you're dead set on anyway) you need to ask for her permission, say you'll sit in the back, beg etc
She wants me to go. She just butt hurt. I'll ignore her today and hit her up tmr when I'm on the road.

Ignoee her some more. Were sharing a hotel room Thursday nite so I'll talk to her and let her here what she wants pop a cialis and she will love me again.

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tri-terror

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How old are the two of you?
I was going to type out a whole book for you lol but... dudes don't usually listen anyway so I'll keep it short and sweet. Just trust me I know what I'm talking about. Now I don't know your girl so there may be some little nuances that are different but...
Is this really how you want your life to be? It's very hard to build a relationship with someone who is bipolar. It's not a judgement on them but damn it's hard. To top it off if she is going 0-100 like that now... it won't stop and she won't change. So if you want that in your life then go for it. BUT... men shouldn't be begging women for attention or forgiveness, ESPECIALLY if they have done nothing wrong. You are teaching her that her behavior is ok. The BEST thing for you to do is not go and say fuck it. It may not be what she wants you to do but if you play her game you will lose every time.
 

trainlikeaboss

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I’ve been through a lot. And talked to a lot of people about their relationships, and the behaviors of their significant others. I have found that people who act like that (breaking up or threatening to leave off of one small incident, flipping out, saying and doing hurtful things) will always continue to do so. Because at that point that is already the person they have become. And even if they truly wanted to change, it would take years of re-learning what is acceptable and how to treat someone. More often than not someone who is very untrusting is usually untrustworthy themselves. More often than not that person’s concept of love is not the same as someone who would not act that way. It’s never worth it to let someone treat you in an unloving way. Being upset about something is no excuse. It’s not right. And for the record, it had absolutely nothing to do with being bipolar. The disorder does not effect your ability to be kind, understanding, or loving towards your partner. Everything I have been through and learned has taught me, if someone says it’s over, let them go. Because if you take them back they will do it again. And the longer the relationship, the more it’s going to hurt when it ends for good. Take it or leave it.


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hugostiglitz87

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I’ve been through a lot. And talked to a lot of people about their relationships, and the behaviors of their significant others. I have found that people who act like that (breaking up or threatening to leave off of one small incident, flipping out, saying and doing hurtful things) will always continue to do so. Because at that point that is already the person they have become. And even if they truly wanted to change, it would take years of re-learning what is acceptable and how to treat someone. More often than not someone who is very untrusting is usually untrustworthy themselves. More often than not that person’s concept of love is not the same as someone who would not act that way. It’s never worth it to let someone treat you in an unloving way. Being upset about something is no excuse. It’s not right. And for the record, it had absolutely nothing to do with being bipolar. The disorder does not effect your ability to be kind, understanding, or loving towards your partner. Everything I have been through and learned has taught me, if someone says it’s over, let them go. Because if you take them back they will do it again. And the longer the relationship, the more it’s going to hurt when it ends for good. Take it or leave it.


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Preach preach like this post.

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hugostiglitz87

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How old are the two of you?

I was going to type out a whole book for you lol but... dudes don't usually listen anyway so I'll keep it short and sweet. Just trust me I know what I'm talking about. Now I don't know your girl so there may be some little nuances that are different but...

Is this really how you want your life to be? It's very hard to build a relationship with someone who is bipolar. It's not a judgement on them but damn it's hard. To top it off if she is going 0-100 like that now... it won't stop and she won't change. So if you want that in your life then go for it. BUT... men shouldn't be begging women for attention or forgiveness, ESPECIALLY if they have done nothing wrong. You are teaching her that her behavior is ok. The BEST thing for you to do is not go and say fuck it. It may not be what she wants you to do but if you play her game you will lose every time.
I'm 31 she 29. She lives 3 hours from me. I honestly haven't done shit behind her back. Trust me when I tell you this man. I've done everything from spoiling her to driving out to her after work every weekend skipping the gym being fuckin exhausted. Just putting in so much energy work effort I'm not rich but I make it work.


So fuck all that ex drama. My ex is my friend if that lol.

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rgrmedic

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It’s gonna be awkward when you and the other guy she’s fucking are both at the graduation
 

hugostiglitz87

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It’s gonna be awkward when you and the other guy she’s fucking are both at the graduation
Lol my mom said the same thing. Well I went had a good time but to much driving and money. And she upset over the texts so whatever her loss in my eyes. Or both are losses.

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maldorf

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Lol my mom said the same thing. Well I went had a good time but to much driving and money. And she upset over the texts so whatever her loss in my eyes. Or both are losses.

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Just let it go. Sounds like you are already more able to accept that it is done. If she comes back to you and wants to try a reset and start over then you might have a chance. If she is willing to change her behavior then it could work, but as others have pointed out, you cant expect her to really change much especially since she is nearly 30 years old.
 

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