Girl situation....serious question.

Pharm_Fed · Dec 14, 2011

So a little backstory. I have stretched ears and wear plugs. There is a website that sells plugs and they have 'street reps'. Basically you get a street rep code and give it out to people on a business card. When people order using your code you accumulate points and get free jewelry and stuff.

So, I get massages every once in a while and last time I was there I noticed the girl at the front counter also had plugs in her ears. So this time I brought her a card with my rep code, told her about the website and gave it to her. Harmless enough....I thought. So when I leave, she had moved registers and checked me out. She said since I gave her a business card she felt like she should give me one and she wrote down her personal phone number on it and gave it to me.

Don't get me wrong, this girl is hot, but I'm married so it ain't happening. I didn't really think my gesture could be interpreted as romantic in any way, but apparently it was so now I don't know what to do without making it awkward. I think I'm just going to call her in a few days and explain the situation. Hopefully I won't come off looking like an idiot. Unless someone else has a better suggestion...

Tyrone · Dec 14, 2011

Just don't call and toss the card/number...Simple. Should I lock the thread now that we've solved this issue...

Pharm_Fed · Dec 14, 2011

I thought about that but the only thing is I will continue going to the same place for massages and I think that would be awkward. Also, she didn't do anything wrong, she doesn't know I'm married. I'm not sure just leaving her hanging is the right thing to do. I don't want to hurt her feelings just to avoid dealing with the situation...

Jello · Dec 14, 2011

crg914 said:
I thought about that but the only thing is I will continue going to the same place for massages and I think that would be awkward. Also, she didn't do anything wrong, she doesn't know I'm married. I'm not sure just leaving her hanging is the right thing to do. I don't want to hurt her feelings just to avoid dealing with the situation...

Shouldn't be worried about hurting her feelings. It can wait until your next massage, then if you feel the need to explain it to her, you'll be able to do it face to face. Toss the card, you don't need it anymore.

Pharm_Fed · Dec 14, 2011

Jello said:
Shouldn't be worried about hurting her feelings. It can wait until your next massage, then if you feel the need to explain it to her, you'll be able to do it face to face. Toss the card, you don't need it anymore.

That's not a bad idea. I just thought it might be embarrassing to do that in front of other people. That's why I didn't just say something today.

I'm not 'worried' about hurting her feelings, per se, just putting myself in her situation and trying to figure out how I would want to be treated. If I can avoid hurting someone's feeling, in any situation, I would prefer that.

Designbuilt · Dec 15, 2011

:yeahthat:

Tyrone said:
Just don't call and toss the card/number...Simple. Should I lock the thread now that we've solved this issue...

Hmmm · Dec 15, 2011

crg914 said:
So a little backstory. I have stretched ears and wear plugs. There is a website that sells plugs and they have 'street reps'. Basically you get a street rep code and give it out to people on a business card. When people order using your code you accumulate points and get free jewelry and stuff.

So, I get massages every once in a while and last time I was there I noticed the girl at the front counter also had plugs in her ears. So this time I brought her a card with my rep code, told her about the website and gave it to her. Harmless enough....I thought. So when I leave, she had moved registers and checked me out. She said since I gave her a business card she felt like she should give me one and she wrote down her personal phone number on it and gave it to me.

Don't get me wrong, this girl is hot, but I'm married so it ain't happening. I didn't really think my gesture could be interpreted as romantic in any way, but apparently it was so now I don't know what to do without making it awkward. I think I'm just going to call her in a few days and explain the situation. Hopefully I won't come off looking like an idiot. Unless someone else has a better suggestion...

To be honest you should have said thanks and told her you were married right away if you were concerned about it. BUT, since thats not a option I go with the other guys, throw it away, who cares what she thinks, isnt that part of the fun of being married? That you dont have to give a shit about what girls think anymore.

triathloncoach · Dec 15, 2011

Tell her your wife was just brutally murdered performing humanitarian work in Haiti or Africa or Phoenix. Tell her you are distraught and lonely. It will work. It will work. It will work.

Pharm_Fed · Dec 15, 2011

Hmmm said:
To be honest you should have said thanks and told her you were married right away if you were concerned about it. BUT, since thats not a option I go with the other guys, throw it away, who cares what she thinks, isnt that part of the fun of being married? That you dont have to give a shit about what girls think anymore.

To be honest, this is probably what I should have done, but I was kind of caught off guard and didn't know how to respond. And I agree I don't have to care what girls think anymore, but that doesn't mean it's ok to be a jerk. I dunno...

wickedwayz · Dec 15, 2011

Just be honest! It's not a big deal she should understand.

shmobol · Dec 15, 2011

Isn't that what a ring is for? When you're caught off guard and you can't think of a polite way of declining you just show her your left hand.

If it were me, the next time I hit that store I'd walk up to her register, smile and say "You are a very attractive woman but I'm married." and give the card back.

Performance Based · Dec 15, 2011

crg914 said:
I thought about that but the only thing is I will continue going to the same place for massages and I think that would be awkward. Also, she didn't do anything wrong, she doesn't know I'm married. I'm not sure just leaving her hanging is the right thing to do. I don't want to hurt her feelings just to avoid dealing with the situation...

Who cares if its akward. Your married. Act like it man. How would it make you feel if your wife was so concerned about letting down some random guy?

Pharm_Fed · Dec 15, 2011

PMCCHRIS said:
Who cares if its akward. Your married. Act like it man. How would it make you feel if your wife was so concerned about letting down some random guy?

I would be glad that she is concerned about other people. I trust her, and honestly her loving nature and concern for others is one of the reasons I married her in the first place. Being married is license to be a jerk to other people just because they won't be an important person in my life.

hitmansb · Dec 16, 2011

I think you are right to care about this girl's feelings. I'd tell her that I didn't call because I'm married. I'm married and have dealt with girls having little crushes on me who didn't realize it (I don't wear a ring...I simply CANNOT wear jewelery of any kind, or even a watch for that matter...it drives me nuts), and the way I see it...they've given me a huge compliment, so I should probably treat them well in kind. Nothing wrong with letting them down easy.

Pharm_Fed · Dec 16, 2011

Well I decided to send the girl a text telling her what's up. I thought that would be least awkward. She texted back it was no big deal. I went home and told me wife exactly what happened, showed her the text and gave her the card for her to dispose of. She thanked me for being honest and wasn't really upset at all. All in all, I think it went as well as it could have. Thanks for everyone's input.

Performance Based · Dec 16, 2011

Well if thats the honest case (not what you did but how you would feel) you a far less possessive man than I am I can admit.

EastJerseyBeast · Dec 16, 2011

yea man just toss the card...don't be worried about letting down some girl when your married.

jbaer1981 · Jan 26, 2012

I think the real issue here is you were probably a little flattered she gave you her number. It's human nature to get a high from the attention. My question to you is be honest with yourself.... Had we all answered by telling you to try and sleep with her etc. What would your response have been then? I had a girl at the gap once hand me her number with a gf right behind me. Even though I declined.... I did walk out the door thinking Damn I bet she was yummy.