Girlfriend's Letting Her Diet GO!!

The Striated One · Jan 2, 2009

Been dating my girlfriend off and on for about 8 months now and I care about her and can see a future with her, but.........................................................................as of late she seems to be letting herself go and is beginning to eat absolute SHIT on a regular basis. She's gained 15lbs (not muscle...LOL) in the past 6 weeks and continues to do nothing about it no matter how much advice I try to give her. Now as we all know this is a very touch subject no matter how supportive and helpful we try to be when commenting about health and weight issues around women. I'm completely stuck.

This morning I go over to her house to say hi and pick up my laundry and I nearly fainted when I saw her making Chocolate Gravy and Bisquits for breakfast. I shook my head and out of frustration stated my dissaproval..................She goes on to call me self-centered and all I care about is looks, etc., etc.

Anybody have any experiences with these kind of problems or situation?.............................I don't want to stop seeing her because of this, but I also don't want to see her blow up right before my eyes and not be able to do anything about it. She wont workout with me when I suggest it and doesnt want to hear about it anymore she says.

Maybe it's time for me to move on? Or is this salvagable?

oldfella · Jan 3, 2009

Bottom Line???

What got her attracted to you in te first place??
What got you attracted to her in the first place??

Physical attraction............................the first rule of any relationship!! I do not care what anyone in the world says about looks! If there is no initial attraction via sensory perception of sight, then you will not pursue it any further!! Even vision impaired rely on a form of sight, they see with their hands and fingers!! It is pretty amazing to be told how you look to a sight impaired person, very humbling indeed!

Looks may not be everything as I will admit..........But they are the first thing. So call it vain, self centred, concieted or what ever else you care to label it but truth is one word that everyone seems afraid to use in these circumstances. We are vain creatures by nature. Even in the wild animals are attracted by beauty, that is why males and females alike display incredible colors, incredible genetics and such........to attract the best possible mates!

SO you might remind her of this in a very gentle way.

Ness · Jan 3, 2009

This is something you care about and I think its valid. Give it some thought and let her know what you can handle and what you cannot. After that, the ball is in her court and she will have only herself to blame if she losses you. In relationships of any kind, I like to handle it so that they are left with making the decisions. Good luck!

thebrick · Jan 3, 2009

Is she stressed about something going on in her life and is looking for some relief through "comfort food"? Food can be an escape for some.... just a thought...

abolish the weak · Jan 3, 2009

get the hell out man, chocolate gravy and biscuits? Jesus Christ man!! She obviously doesn't give a shit what you think about her, so you must not mean shit to her. Dont let these broads flip it around man, its not you, its her!! Your not self centered at all, go get a chick into nutrition and fitness and ditch the Wal-Mart warrior physique

VanR__ · Jan 3, 2009

If you have been dating her 'on and off' for just 8 months, then why not walk and get a fresh start?
In a lot of instances, dealing with women and their high (and getting higher) bodyfat is an uphill battle.
I would weigh out (no pun intended) the + and - of trying to get this girl to not eat like a 7 year old and see if it's worth it.

The Striated One · Jan 3, 2009

I'm going to sit down and talk with her tomorrow night tell her what I feel is reasonble expectations on both of our part and go from there.

thebrick said:
Is she stressed about something going on in her life and is looking for some relief through "comfort food"? Food can be an escape for some.... just a thought...

She's been using the "It's OK it's the Holidays" routine a little too much as far as foods go............I understand, but I've mentioned the consiquences of weight gain (and so forth) and it has not gone well.

oldfella said:
Bottom Line???

Looks may not be everything as I will admit..........But they are the first thing. So call it vain, self centred, concieted or what ever else you care to label it but truth is one word that everyone seems afraid to use in these circumstances. We are vain creatures by nature. Even in the wild animals are attracted by beauty, that is why males and females alike display incredible colors, incredible genetics and such........to attract the best possible mates!

SO you might remind her of this in a very gentle way.

I agree with this as does she............she's just a little too comfortable these days and thinks I'm ok with it................This is the first time she's pulled this crap so I'll talk with her and go from there/act accordingly.

abolish the weak said:
Your not self centered at all, go get a chick into nutrition and fitness and ditch the Wal-Mart warrior physique

LOL.........She's far from a Wallmart physique (naturally toned and lean), but this lifestyle could get her there in a year or so if she doesn't shape up.

abolish the weak · Jan 3, 2009

dude, problem with sitting her down and talking about it is she is going to feel like she's being judged, scrutinized, and is not right. She'll most likely go into the defensive mode and start criticizing you and calling you judgemental, and self centered. My advice is to get her to do more with you outdoors. Take her hiking sometime, or for a nice walk along a riverside or something. She may decide she wants to eat better and be healthier if you get her involved in more. NOT JUST THE GYM. If she looks for any reason at all not to do these types of things, then I'd say you have a problem with more than just eating, but depression as well. She should want to do these things just to be with you. Just remember, nobody looks spectacular forever and there are a ton of smoking hot chicks out there who wouldn't be there for you in the end. As soon as you got sick, lost your job, or they found someone with more money or a nicer car you'd be old news. So be realistic about it, is she still attractive? That is what matters, dont always be looking at figure chicks and models and comparing your girlfriend to that. That is not a very realistic outlook on it.

marilyn · Jan 3, 2009

ok......

I agree with Abolish the weak..............but there could be something else going, or it really could be temporary....so enter the waters very carefully......you dont want to loose a foot.

Designbuilt · Jan 3, 2009

Two options, one is bound to work:

1. Talk it over with her, the problem with most women (That I have encounterd, not most in general) is that they don't like to be told what to do, infact, they will do the opposite if you try to make them do something they don't want to do just out of pride and defiance.

It could be that she is doing this on purpose, because that meal that you described was a little out of hand and sounded almost intentional. What I would do is explain how important fitness is to you and that you feel for a relationship to work out you have to have this in common.

Not that her way is bad and yours is good, but it's hard with the temptations and makes you uncomfortable, besides you don't want to deliberatly harm your body by feeding it garbage, after all there are plenty of healthy alternatives that taste just as good if not better then garbage.

If that doesn't work plan number 2.

2. Get a full grown, pit bull, Mastif or Rottweiler (mean motherfucker) and have him chase her around the apartment; leave for 15 minutes per day, and she will surely burn the calories fast from all the running.

pesty4077 · Jan 3, 2009

You can't make someone workout or eat correctly, they got to want to. I got training and diet logs for every day of the week. My wife could care less, she has no ambition, or would want too. At least I am blessed, she is 5" 105lbs, and looks perfect. I tell her all the time, if she gets fat, there is more to love.

j8282 · Jan 3, 2009

I agree! Maybe she got burned out overtime. I do real easy. Sometimes if you just stop confronting her about it she may eventually come around. When you try to push your habits on someone, human nature is to rebel.

pesty4077 said:
You can't make someone workout or eat correctly, they got to want to. I got training and diet logs for every day of the week. My wife could care less, she has no ambition, or would want too. At least I am blessed, she is 5" 105lbs, and looks perfect. I tell her all the time, if she gets fat, there is more to love.

OuchThatHurts · Jan 3, 2009

Are you feeding her dry or canned food? Have you had her checked for worms?

LOL, seriously though. She's a person and wants to enjoy food. I enjoy biscuits and gravy too! And I admit I've eaten much worse than worse junk sometimes. Like that waitress down at Inner Harbor...

The question I would ask is are you going to be able to stay on the same page as girl who likes to enjoy food and doesn't mind being a little plump? A healthy fat layer for a women is not exactly unhealthy. Obesity would be another matter entirely. If it's something you truly need in a partner than find a girl that digs that sort of thing like you do. They're everywhere!

The Striated One · Jan 3, 2009

OuchThatHurts said:
Are you feeding her dry or canned food? Have you had her checked for worms?

LOL, seriously though. She's a person and wants to enjoy food. I enjoy biscuits and gravy too! And I admit I've eaten much worse than worse junk sometimes. Like that waitress down at Inner Harbor...

The question I would ask is are you going to be able to stay on the same page as girl who likes to enjoy food and doesn't mind being a little plump? A healthy fat layer for a women is not exactly unhealthy. Obesity would be another matter entirely. If it's something you truly need in a partner than find a girl that digs that sort of thing like you do. They're everywhere!

I did speak with her this morning and her response was "I don't care anymore, I don't want to be with somebody who cares about looks anyways"

I left and told her I'll speak to her later (probably let her chillout for a few days and let her make a logical decision and not emotional)...................that being said, I'm ready to move on if necessary.

To answer your statement I don't at all care if she has the occasional junkfood.......I'm just not gonna put up with the "I don't give a fuck how I look or what you think" attitude.

OuchThatHurts · Jan 3, 2009

The Striated One said:
To answer your statement I don't at all care if she has the occasional junkfood.......I'm just not gonna put up with the "I don't give a fuck how I look or what you think" attitude.

So don't. That's cool. Do you think it's a permanent attitude or maybe she's just in a funk? How long would you say she's felt like this?

oldfella · Jan 3, 2009

The Striated One said:
I did speak with her this morning and her response was "I don't care anymore, I don't want to be with somebody who cares about looks anyways"

I left and told her I'll speak to her later (probably let her chillout for a few days and let her make a logical decision and not emotional)...................that being said, I'm ready to move on if necessary.

To answer your statement I don't at all care if she has the occasional junkfood.......I'm just not gonna put up with the "I don't give a fuck how I look or what you think" attitude.

I am with OTH here. There now sounds like much more going on than just wanting to binge eat a little. She has something really bugging her and if you really care then try to get to the bottom of it. A little body fat is healthy, "I don't give a fuck how I look" is not so healthy. I have recently taken up a relationship with a woman that does/did have a weight problem. She is absolutely beautiful but through a medical problem (part of the problem) and a fucked up relationship (her ex fucked her head up with negative shit about her looks) but just before I met her she started going to the gym and was on her way to losing the weight. Well I came along and offered to help her only if she wanted, she was all ears and since then we have hit it off in a big way. She has already dropped 2 dress sizes and is continuing to lose weight. The point is she needs to want to do this, you cannot force her. If she has issues to deal with then you will need to work with her on these. But there is definitely more going on than just wanting to enjoy food. Good luck!