- Joined
- Oct 31, 2011
- Messages
- 6
bro keep your head up. I dont even know how i would respond to something like that. Stay strong
Thanks bro. i am going to do just that! one thing i am worried about is the house. its all in my name though. if she tried to get it do you think she would be able to? Yeah and her loss im a good guy great provider and i think a great dad. eventually like you said i know i will come out on top.
Hey, hope your doing well today. I had to find the thread again, and then with all of the support you are getting, I almost didn't see this.
The answer is she will get something for or from the house. The details will differ by State, but it is all fairly formulaic. If you owned the house before you met her, that is one thing. But she will still get something for all of the work and money (even if there was none) she put in it. If she stayed at home, that will still be considered her investment in the family and the home. If you bought it after you met, and for you two as a couple, someone is going to be buying out the other, or putting it on the market and splitting. But with the kids being the ages that they are, I am going to make a prediction and it is not pretty. I am going to say she will decide she wants the kids. Then she "must" have the house. You will be paying the household bills, and depending on your state, alimony, and child support.
Find out if you live in a one or two party state as far as recording phone calls. One party means you can record without her permission. Two party means you break the law if you do. Even if you have the tapes, you may not get the judge to hear them -- her lawyer will find a way (real life from me, bro) to have them disallowed. But, if you have her on tape saying she doesn't want the kids, that may be a good bargaining chip for the out of court agreement. You want as much settled out of court as possible. You will piss the judge off if you make him work.
Don't expect the cheating to do anything for your case. They yawn at that, and even if you make your lawyer bring it up, her lawyer will have her defend her actions by telling everyone how you didn't pay attention to her, didn't give her what she needed, you have a small penis (lol, jk), etc. You do not want to give her any reason to take the stand and address the issues of the relationship part of the marriage, because you will be made to look the like the abusive, controlling, dickhead.
Here's another one to understand may happen. As my lawyer called it, the obligatory TPO. I was served mine for stalking. Never mind I never spoke to her and we were five hours away by car and never even came close to anything like that. They give them out lie candy to the women. All she has to do is say she is afraid, and boom -- 7 days with no contact with your kids if she wants to include them. Mine was dismissed immediatley at the hearing, but the hearing is not the day after they nail you with it.
Remember this too, btw. Here is a little tough love. YOU fucked up. How? At least we (me included) have to admit that if nothing else, we chose the wrong partner. Now, all you can do is make the best of a permanently fucked up situation. But for your own sanity, acknowledge with brutal objectivity what you did wrong, or could have done better, even if we are only talking about asking her to marry you.
Its going to seem a little worse each day, before it starts seeming better, but each of the bad days is one day closer to resolution, redemption, forgiveness, and a brand new life that you get to run.
Its just hard to believe that the court systems are like they are!!!! Iv talked to alot of people about this and every answer i got was colse or identical to yours. Im going to go in the with an open mind and kill her with kindness. Our first date is jan 10th. My lawyer said if she wants to get it over with it will all happen fast but she also has the power to prolong this situation. I talked to her last night and we met in the middle to where as il get the boys everyweekend, monday, and wed. so when we go to court for custody we are going to agree on that atleast. plus it might look good on me im keeping them every weekend and shes out partying. My lawyer also said that we will both have to go to a parenting group. iv been a dad for over 6 years i dont get that but il do what ever it takes with out bitching and with my head up. I honestly think that everything going on right now is a good thing, ya it hurts but il eventually get over it. Plus il be able to make a better girl happy who deserves it. but who would want a 24 year old divorcie with 3 kids (all boys). if a woman cant except my kids then hit the road lol. sorry im going on and on. But Bill i really am glad we talked about this and you have been in a simular situation and can relate to my issue. il keep you posted on things bro again thanks everyone for thier support. PM is like my new family haha
All I can say is I wish this was a fake thread.
First xmas without my family together! its rough ugh.. Kind of depressed about it. wish things were so much different but life throws so many curve balls. good news im seeing this new girl who is on the same page as me in life. She wants the same things i do and so far its going great. she a good church girl.(with morals). Il keep you guys posted and for everyone who commented on this thread thanks for the support- good to have a family here guys!!!
wish u the best and a positive outcome on everything bro..