Has this happened to you?

[kingofspades]

So I just "took a break" from my girlfriend of about two years because recently we have been fighting a lot. I know breaks don't usually work, but I thought it would because I felt all we needed was just some time to cool off. However, it seems this break ended exactly like the last time I tried this in a different relationship. So here is the deal...

I went over to her place yesterday, this is about 6 days into our break, and I wanted to talk to her and see how things were. She said she couldn't stand being without me and she wanted to get back together, I felt the same way. After almost coming to the conclusion that we're back on track, about an hour after I'm there, she says "oh...I should probably tell you, I kind of made out with a guy last night" So I yelled and walked out.

Seems every time you want to cool things off and take a break, the women are taking full advantage of the opportunity. If you really mean that much to them, can't they hold off for longer than 6 f'n days?! This is just my experience, not a bash on all women. She wrote me an email saying she did it because she was insecure. BS to me, what would you guys do?

 

[natabolic]

If she really means that much to you, Id give her another chance bro. Things similar have happened to me. In the end, its up to you, and what you think is best. Listen to what she has to say, think about it, and decide what you think is best.

 

[thebrick]

If the shoe was on the other foot and you were the one that had a one-nighter but decided you really wanted to be with your ex, would you feel differently?

 

[Kcm3000]

i think that has happened to most of us here lol

however. sit down take a long look at the big picture. do you really want her back, does she really want you back. are you going to keep fighting (most times yes), can you see a future with her, do you think you can do better (key answer here).

with me, same situtaion almost exactly, we got back together fought blahblahblah made me miserable finnaly split and found a new girl im w/. I always knew i could do better than my previous relationship, and wham i did. its not going to be the first girl you go and get w/. it takes time. but if you think you can do better you prob can and ur current girl just isnt workin for you, if thats the case save your self and her the time and split. taking breaks almost never work.

hope that helped. best of luck. didnt mean to be offensive if you take it that way!

 

[muscledoc1]

Well one of the indirect reasons for a break is because one of the sides wants to try something new to "break away" there,so as soon as the door opens they give it a try....its kind of like a mixed emotion thing(she definitly loves you-but you have to see it that way)-not saying its wrong or right.

 

[kingofspades]

You all have very good points, and hopefully I will make the right decision. I can understand that a break sends off mixed emotions - because it isn't really clear. However, when I made the decision I said "I don't want you to put a label on this, you can even consider us still together, I just want a week to cool off and maybe that will help"

Maybe that is a dick move on my part, because it is kind of vague. I don't really think I can see us being together for the rest of my life, because we're so different its hard to find commonalities. I just like the security of having a girlfriend and someone there, without having to search for one. I guess I am being a little selfish though.

Anyway, I will let you guys know how it goes. Thanks for the support.

 

[natabolic]

You all have very good points, and hopefully I will make the right decision. I can understand that a break sends off mixed emotions - because it isn't really clear. However, when I made the decision I said "I don't want you to put a label on this, you can even consider us still together, I just want a week to cool off and maybe that will help"

Maybe that is a dick move on my part, because it is kind of vague. I don't really think I can see us being together for the rest of my life, because we're so different its hard to find commonalities. I just like the security of having a girlfriend and someone there, without having to search for one. I guess I am being a little selfish though.

Anyway, I will let you guys know how it goes. Thanks for the support.

Keep us posted bro. Hope all goes well.

 

[VanR__]

I wonder what would have happened if the 'break' lasted a whole entire week.

 

[deltaguy]

Maybe that is a dick move on my part, because it is kind of vague. I don't really think I can see us being together for the rest of my life, because we're so different its hard to find commonalities. I just like the security of having a girlfriend and someone there, without having to search for one. I guess I am being a little selfish though.

Anyway, I will let you guys know how it goes. Thanks for the support.

You just answered your own question. Don't lead her on. What if she thinks she has a future with you but you know there isn't. That is a dick move on your part. Let her go and find someone you really want to be with. You never know... what if you miss that one person whom could change your life but didn't because you were too busy just 'hanging' with this girl you have no future with.

 

[kingofspades]

Deltaguy - you make a really good point, and I know. Its just hard, because whenever we put our differences aside I always say to myself "I could be with this girl forever." it sucks though because its not often that we do that. Regardless, we have been together for what I consider a long time, so I just dont want to make the wrong decision and regret it.

I am going over to talk to her tonight, and I think I am going to tell her I would like to stay broken up. I think the saying "Let it go, and if it comes back it was meant to be" is the best option right now. But I will let you guys know how it goes. Thanks for all your help.

KOS

 

[kingofspades]

Hey guys,

Just an update. I had a long talk with her yesterday and everything is worked out now. I will be in Australia for the next 3 months, so we're just going to stay apart until then and see how we feel after. I think we were both at fault for the things that happened and maybe this time apart will give us a chance to think about things a little more. So I am not sure whether we will get back together or not but at least everything is cleared up now and there are no hard feelings. Thanks a lot for the support, I think it helped a lot.

KOS

 

[thebrick]

Good for you KOS! You handled that like the mature, smart man you are. Isn't it nice to leave a relationship without anger issues eating at you like a cancer?

 

[kingofspades]

Ya Brick, it feels really good actually. The last relationship I had ended really badly and it still kills me knowing that we never made things right.

 

[Sesshomaru]

Hey guys,

Just an update. I had a long talk with her yesterday and everything is worked out now. I will be in Australia for the next 3 months, so we're just going to stay apart until then and see how we feel after. I think we were both at fault for the things that happened and maybe this time apart will give us a chance to think about things a little more. So I am not sure whether we will get back together or not but at least everything is cleared up now and there are no hard feelings. Thanks a lot for the support, I think it helped a lot.

KOS

Dude Aussie land has some smokin' women. Couple that with great beef and excellent scenery, the best thing you could is break up with this girl, youre now free to enjoy a cool country without guilt.

 

[bigtwig]

Drop her like a sack of potatoes. 6 days and she's already fooling around, not cool.

bigtwig

 

[kingofspades]

Ya I will definitely let you guys know how AUS is. I have never been but I will be in Sydney, so I hope it is good. I have heard there are a lot of nice women out there so maybe that will take my mind off this a little. Regardless, I will let you know how it goes.

KOS

 

[dallascowboys]

drop her bro, if she cant last 6 days without kissng another guy, who is to say she wont cheat on you in the future?????

 

[swinton135]

drop her bro, if she cant last 6 days without kissng another guy, who is to say she wont cheat on you in the future?????

no way i would go back to that

 

[bigrig]

I haven't read all of the replies..

but to me it seems most people get too comfortable and afraid of the unknown and that's why stay together.... and that goes for alot of things in life..

Ie. There is OPTION A: Which is you guys stay together, comfortable, but not totally happy and getting everything you want out of life... and OPTION B: which is UNKNOWN, you do'nt know if you'd be happier with someone else, single, whatever.... so natural human nature is to hold onto OPTION A.... i think this is why alot of relationships end when someone has already found someone else.. this way they know the other Option B is better etc..

make sense?? for me got divorced a year ago and I am 1000% happier and so much more fulfilled and confident in life.. better relationships, better drive in business...