Help with Depression and Anxiety

[Tim Zane]

Hi guys. I don't know who else to talk to in my life so here I am. I've been dealing with depression for a few years and now anxiety has set in. I never knew what people meant when they suffered from these things, but now I do, unfortunately. I used to think this happened to people with weak minds, and my attitude was that people need to just suck it up. It's crazy to me though because it's in the mind and it's like I can't overcome it no matter what I do.

I was addicted to pornography for many years and this is the first year in a long time I have been free of it. I was hoping all this would lift when porn left, but it didn't. I've talked to my pastors, spouse, friends, and it's like no one can help me. It feels like I haven't been joyful in so long I don't know what that even feels like. This feeling is as if there's a weight placed on my every day and I have to carry it. Many times it feels like it's directly on my chest or the front of my head. It's like there's a net over my brain and it's for me. It's hard to describe. I understand why people cut and hurt themselves now. Sometimes I beat my head just to have some relief. It's my only escape.

Can anybody relate to this? This is no way to live. I pray and ask God for help, but it still remains. I don't understand.

 

[Jacked_]

Not sure exactly what to say here. I would try to take the frustration out on the weights. Throw some fucking weight around brotha

10 sets of 10 solves a lot of problems imo…

 

[grammo13]

After a decade married, my wife finally convinced me to go to therapy. I regret putting it off so long. I also started seeing a psychiatrist and incorporating some medications. Between the two, my depression and anxiety have improved dramatically.
Id say start with finding a therapist you like, continue throwing shit around in the gym, and if you feel you need a little more after that, talk to your doctor about potentially adding medication.

 

[Tim Zane]

After a decade married, my wife finally convinced me to go to therapy. I regret putting it off so long. I also started seeing a psychiatrist and incorporating some medications. Between the two, my depression and anxiety have improved dramatically.
Id say start with finding a therapist you like, continue throwing shit around in the gym, and if you feel you need a little more after that, talk to your doctor about potentially adding medication.

I'd hate to go the med route. I appreciate the words. When I'm real low I can't workout. Do you guys workout when you're down? For me I have the best workouts when I'm positove and happy, but when depressed I can't get into it. It's like a mindset that's not overcomeable.

For you were there circumstances that led to your depression?

 

[Tim Zane]

I had a one month long panick attack or “shorting out” phase about 2 years ago.
I would not wish it on anyone. I thought for sure it was the end and I was dying. I was even getting things in order and starting to accept it. It was like I lost control of my mind and thoughts and was “doomed”

What helped me was one of a few things.
Living in a way you are proud of.
Try to avoid doing anything that would make you feel shameful (porn) treating others unfair. Try to do some things your proud of
(kicking porn, as you have) treat other people well and try to even help people by throwing a nice comment there way or by showing some type of common courtesy.

Read the Bible. I would read one chapter everyday. Same as you I continued to pray
And let me have some relief of this.

I seen a dr and started doing labs
I wanted to know I wasn’t going to stroke out or have a heart attack.
Or anything to help me figure out what changed and what is happening to me.

Looking back I’m still unsure exactly what happen or what you would call it. I call it shorting out. Closest clinical
Term I guess would be what they call panic or anxiety attacks.

Don’t stop praying and good luck.

Thank you. I've been praying for a long time. God saved me 20 years ago. This stuff is something else though. I am generally a courteous and respectful/kind person. No one would be able to tell what I'm going through by outward appearance. But even when smiling and seemingly happy, it feels like I am dying inside. I watched a video today by Andrew Klavan and he said it is a distress of the spirit. I do feel like it's a spiritual condition, that's why I haven't went the med route yet. This heaviness and black cloud causes it to be difficult to pray and read scripture. I feel like it's demonic. I am not a charismatic/Pentecost dude, but I went to a buddy who is for deliverance hoping for something and that was a big nothing. I was told sometimes when "you know too much for the Bible it hinders deliverance." I won't get more into that...

I used to be a confident person and positive and all around cheerful guy. Now I can't get any bad news without it driving me down to despair. I know the truth of God, and I believe he is sovereign even in this, but I just don't get this. Can't keep living like this.

 

[Jefe]

Tim,

I’ve been dealing with this for years. Lots of others here, too.

Anxiety and depression go together like peanut butter and jelly.

Often, if you manage one, the other improves with it.

Therapy is great. It won’t fix you directly, but it will enlighten you as to what is the root of the depression and what you can do to improve it.

If you don’t think your therapist is a good fit for you, fire them and find a new one. It’s an important relationship, like having a doctor that really listens to you.

Taking meds doesn’t make you weak.

Are you able to cook, eat, bathe, work, socialize?

 

[USAman]

Hi guys. I don't know who else to talk to in my life so here I am. I've been dealing with depression for a few years and now anxiety has set in. I never knew what people meant when they suffered from these things, but now I do, unfortunately. I used to think this happened to people with weak minds, and my attitude was that people need to just suck it up. It's crazy to me though because it's in the mind and it's like I can't overcome it no matter what I do.

I was addicted to pornography for many years and this is the first year in a long time I have been free of it. I was hoping all this would lift when porn left, but it didn't. I've talked to my pastors, spouse, friends, and it's like no one can help me. It feels like I haven't been joyful in so long I don't know what that even feels like. This feeling is as if there's a weight placed on my every day and I have to carry it. Many times it feels like it's directly on my chest or the front of my head. It's like there's a net over my brain and it's for me. It's hard to describe. I understand why people cut and hurt themselves now. Sometimes I beat my head just to have some relief. It's my only escape.

Can anybody relate to this? This is no way to live. I pray and ask God for help, but it still remains. I don't understand.

Brother. I totally relate and understand you. Some days are great, others are hard.

Lexapro has really helped me. I don’t love taking medicine, but it helps. Talking and talking helps, even though I don’t love to talk.

I relate to you on the not wanting to train when feeling down, although it does help when I am able to shut my brain off.

Having a goal, big or little just a goal helps me. Having a pet helps. Talking to people here helps. Sometimes talking to someone anonymously helps the most. Here for example.

Please understand your pain is understandable, and relatable. Feel free to PM me

 

[Tim Zane]

Brother. I totally relate and understand you. Some days are great, others are hard.

Lexapro has really helped me. I don’t love taking medicine, but it helps. Talking and talking helps, even though I don’t love to talk.

I relate to you on the not wanting to train when feeling down, although it does help when I am able to shut my brain off.

Having a goal, big or little just a goal helps me. Having a pet helps. Talking to people here helps. Sometimes talking to someone anonymously helps the most. Here for example.

Please understand your pain is understandable, and relatable. Feel free to PM me

I really appreciate the reply. Having other people understand is like a slight weight lifted off.

 

[Tim Zane]

Tim,

I’ve been dealing with this for years. Lots of others here, too.

Anxiety and depression go together like peanut butter and jelly.

Often, if you manage one, the other improves with it.

Therapy is great. It won’t fix you directly, but it will enlighten you as to what is the root of the depression and what you can do to improve it.

If you don’t think your therapist is a good fit for you, fire them and find a new one. It’s an important relationship, like having a doctor that really listens to you.

Taking meds doesn’t make you weak.

Are you able to cook, eat, bathe, work, socialize?

I'm able to do everything I need to. I'm just about a quarter of the man I could be at all my functions. I try to tell my wife about it but I feel like she just wants me to get over it so I can meet her needs. I know this is at least one root of it. She holds resentment towards me for being addicted to pornography for years. I lied to her about for years until I finally realized I needed to be free and I confessed it to her. I thought my depression would go away after I stopped porn but it didn't completely. And now it's at it's worst. I need her support but don't have it at all because she is in a hurring place too expecting me to be super husband every single day. I feel like if I just had encouragement regularly and smiles in my direction it would do wonders.

 

[USAman]

I really appreciate the reply. Having other people understand is like a slight weight lifted off.

How are you doing brother? Feel free to PM, you have a line to share, vent, relate, to me, judgement free 24/7 - 365 man. I’ve seen, done, heard many things. Man I’ve done so much shit I’m not proud of, nothing you say will freak me out lol. Please drop me a line. I’m here for you man.

 

[Fa Seeshus]

The type of depression you are describing could be dysregulation. It is a symptom of CPTSD (childhood PTSD). There is a bunch of new research and strategies in dealing with it, mostly involving knowing the triggers and actively not falling into the trap it sets. I thought it was all bogus until I saw how past traumas were repeatedly causing feelings of futility in the present. Sometimes traditional therapy can make CPTSD worse.

 

[Tim Zane]

The type of depression you are describing could be dysregulation. It is a symptom of CPTSD (childhood PTSD). There is a bunch of new research and strategies in dealing with it, mostly involving knowing the triggers and actively not falling into the trap it sets. I thought it was all bogus until I saw how past traumas were repeatedly causing feelings of futility in the present. Sometimes traditional therapy can make CPTSD worse.

There really wasn't anything traumatic inmy childhood, unless you're saying it's the same thing for adults.

 

[Tim Zane]

How are you doing brother? Feel free to PM, you have a line to share, vent, relate, to me, judgement free 24/7 - 365 man. I’ve seen, done, heard many things. Man I’ve done so much shit I’m not proud of, nothing you say will freak me out lol. Please drop me a line. I’m here for you man.

Thank you. I appreciate that. I may reach out. Sometimes it takes a lot to want to talk about it because I have to put my mind there and when I'm having a decent day I try not to ruin it by thinking about the depression. Very kind of you brother.

 

[OldManLogan]

I don't have anything to add to the conversation, other thn saying this is the time to plug in to your support system- family, friends, people you can talk to, therapist etc. I dealt with similar issues due to trauma in my teen years, and this much I learned- it's ok to ask for help, and do NOT keep it to yourself. The fact that you're
reaching out is already a win.

Best of luck and I hope it all works out just take it day by day, like we do training. It's about consistency as we go through it, step by step.

 

[Fa Seeshus]

There really wasn't anything traumatic inmy childhood, unless you're saying it's the same thing for adults.

Yeah, I wrote it wrong, it is Complex PTSD, not childhood PTSD. It can be from a high stress period as an adult... like a previous relationship or job where you made certain adaptations. Those habits and thoughts then cause issues in your current life... often in a form of paralysis and futility similar to what you described. The irony is that you are no longer in that bad place, but the changes you made to cope with things in the past makes it so you cannot enjoy the present.

 

[Brock456]

Hi guys. I don't know who else to talk to in my life so here I am. I've been dealing with depression for a few years and now anxiety has set in. I never knew what people meant when they suffered from these things, but now I do, unfortunately. I used to think this happened to people with weak minds, and my attitude was that people need to just suck it up. It's crazy to me though because it's in the mind and it's like I can't overcome it no matter what I do.

I was addicted to pornography for many years and this is the first year in a long time I have been free of it. I was hoping all this would lift when porn left, but it didn't. I've talked to my pastors, spouse, friends, and it's like no one can help me. It feels like I haven't been joyful in so long I don't know what that even feels like. This feeling is as if there's a weight placed on my every day and I have to carry it. Many times it feels like it's directly on my chest or the front of my head. It's like there's a net over my brain and it's for me. It's hard to describe. I understand why people cut and hurt themselves now. Sometimes I beat my head just to have some relief. It's my only escape.

Can anybody relate to this? This is no way to live. I pray and ask God for help, but it still remains. I don't understand.

I’m sorry that I’m just seeing this. I’ve seen the battles of depression and unfortunately suicide.

Any thoughts of killing yourself? I hope not bro. Don’t take that route. It’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Depression is a disorder of the brain and a chemical imbalance. Don’t be afraid of meds. They work wonders for people to balance the chemicals in the brain.

Is your wife supportive of you? Friends? Family?

Stay in the gym. Hit the weights. Cardio is great for a mental boost and dopamine release.

Sunlight.

Hope you are doing better man. Let us all know how you are.

 

[Tim Zane]

Yeah, I wrote it wrong, it is Complex PTSD, not childhood PTSD. It can be from a high stress period as an adult... like a previous relationship or job where you made certain adaptations. Those habits and thoughts then cause issues in your current life... often in a form of paralysis and futility similar to what you described. The irony is that you are no longer in that bad place, but the changes you made to cope with things in the past makes it so you cannot enjoy the present.

I have changed careers and the new line of work is completely different than I'm used to and there is a ton of learning I need to do. Plus, I was in my other line of work for 19 years and confident and good at it. This adapting is pretty rough so what you're saying makes sense.

 

[Tim Zane]

I’m sorry that I’m just seeing this. I’ve seen the battles of depression and unfortunately suicide.

Any thoughts of killing yourself? I hope not bro. Don’t take that route. It’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Depression is a disorder of the brain and a chemical imbalance. Don’t be afraid of meds. They work wonders for people to balance the chemicals in the brain.

Is your wife supportive of you? Friends? Family?

Stay in the gym. Hit the weights. Cardio is great for a mental boost and dopamine release.

Sunlight.

Hope you are doing better man. Let us all know how you are.

No thoughts of suicide, but I have changed my whole mindset about it. Meaning I understand why people do it now. Once you stop feeling, anything is possible it seems. I used to think it was selfish, and it is, now I get it how when you're in that state nothing matters except escaping. I'm trying to get support from my wife which would be the most helpful, but she has resentment toward me for my pornography use. I'd like to talk to my friends now but it feels like I'm just being a drag. It feels like I'm just acting like a mopey selfish person. Hard to reach out too when they don't understand it. I used to have this whole mindset about people with depression and thinking they were just weak minded individuals who wanted people to feel sorry for them and needed attention. I'm eating my own words now. It's so not that.

 

[MAD_SCIENTIST]

No thoughts of suicide, but I have changed my whole mindset about it. Meaning I understand why people do it now. Once you stop feeling, anything is possible it seems. I used to think it was selfish, and it is, now I get it how when you're in that state nothing matters except escaping. I'm trying to get support from my wife which would be the most helpful, but she has resentment toward me for my pornography use. I'd like to talk to my friends now but it feels like I'm just being a drag. It feels like I'm just acting like a mopey selfish person. Hard to reach out too when they don't understand it. I used to have this whole mindset about people with depression and thinking they were just weak minded individuals who wanted people to feel sorry for them and needed attention. I'm eating my own words now. It's so not that.

@Tim Zane...Happy and Positive thoughts for 2025.
Set daily goals, even if it's small. Build from there.
If you need someone to vent/talk to, PM me.

MS

 

[Brock456]

No thoughts of suicide, but I have changed my whole mindset about it. Meaning I understand why people do it now. Once you stop feeling, anything is possible it seems. I used to think it was selfish, and it is, now I get it how when you're in that state nothing matters except escaping. I'm trying to get support from my wife which would be the most helpful, but she has resentment toward me for my pornography use. I'd like to talk to my friends now but it feels like I'm just being a drag. It feels like I'm just acting like a mopey selfish person. Hard to reach out too when they don't understand it. I used to have this whole mindset about people with depression and thinking they were just weak minded individuals who wanted people to feel sorry for them and needed attention. I'm eating my own words now. It's so not that.

You need to talk to someone.
I think a therapist would be best. Someone who doesn’t know you or anything about you and can help you.

Stay in the fight man.
Everyday above ground is a good day.