Help with new relationship

[OuchThatHurts]

JRBD, try to imagine you're 12 months in with this chic and she's going through your emails, logging your computer activity, personal and financial accounts, mail, cell phone, trouser and jacket pockets, car, glove box, continually asking baited questions to your friends...

No. Hell no. Oh, and none of that, "but I've been hurt before" bullshit cuts any ice with me. We ALL have been hurt before. Otherwise, we'd still be with those people! We're all "damaged goods" to some extent and whoever is reading this, yes, you too.

I think you're doing the right thing.

You keep doin' what yer doin' because it's workin' in your life. I'm talking about the clean and sober part and you staying out of legal trouble. Not to mention (but I will anyway) that if you have/had this opportunity with this girl, what makes you think you won't have this same opportunity again?

Generally, those that cannot trust, should not be trusted.

Have a good New Years!

 

[JRBD]

JRBD, try to imagine you're 12 months in with this chic and she's going through your emails, logging your computer activity, personal and financial accounts, mail, cell phone, trouser and jacket pockets, car, glove box, continually asking baited questions to your friends...

No. Hell no. Oh, and none of that, "but I've been hurt before" bullshit cuts any ice with me. We ALL have been hurt before. Otherwise, we'd still be with those people! We're all "damaged goods" to some extent and whoever is reading this, yes, you too.

I think you're doing the right thing.

You keep doin' what yer doin' because it's workin' in your life. I'm talking about the clean and sober part and you staying out of legal trouble. Not to mention (but I will anyway) that if you have/had this opportunity with this girl, what makes you think you won't have this same opportunity again?

Generally, those that cannot trust, should not be trusted.

Have a good New Years!

Thanks ouch...your replies have been great and have made me look at this at
a different way each time...it just sucks when everything was soo perfect between us at first everthing in common, got along great...she kept telling me
"I'm never felt like this about anyone this fast before"..I mean it was all perfect...but I'm keeping my head up..its just hard when in my mind I keep
thinking that I'm not going to find anyone close to her....trying to think positive though...thanks again for the reply..Happy new year!

 

[9muscle9]

The whole imagining 12 months with her is a good way to look at it, she sounds like a nice girl and im sure its all perfect for you and you want it to work and some guys on the internet are giving good advice but you probably going to ignore them anyway and do it your way.

But if she's doing checks on you 24/7 and being a complete control freak, you could just tell her to look at herself and what she's doing to you. Tell her bluntly that you don't want to be in a relationship if your controlled by her and just tell her how things in your past are going to stay there, she's special etc... all that romantic crap.

 

[Roxi30mg]

If I ever dated a girl that needed to know all my bad history in the first 2months together... I'd drop her quick. We all make mistakes. Weall do things we regret...but we don't need to relive them every time we meet someone... The first few months " tell me more about yourself" is meant for favorite colors and such small things... You have a right to gaurd your past from people who could use it to hurt you. I think she over stept her boundries

:yeahthat:

Run, far and fast from this girl. She is the one with the issues, not you. Your issues are in the past, hers are in the present. A broad that brings up her exes, will get the boot asap. She obviously isn't over any of them that's why she brings that up to you. The older the women are and I've dated plenty, the reasons why I realize they are still single stick out. I have had big drug issues too, but I put the past away. Her running background checks, sure I get it, but her telling you this is completely nuts.
She has the issues here, not you. Also, dont buy into the girl always being the victim, the game has changed. Women can be dogs too.

 

[BOOMSHAKER]

Hey guys, need a little help...theres this girl I've been seeing for about 2 months now and the first month it was amazing we both new that we where
meant for each other we both have everything in common training, eating music, movies and even weird habits it actually freaked us both out how
many things we have in common. Shes been hurt by 2 other guys in the past
one which was her fiance both had drug problems and would not get clean
and broke her heart. Well shes a personal trainer and she has a account online for background checks...I myself am a recovering addict... mostly painkillers which I have been clean for 5 1/2 yrs now. but she ran my background and saw I not only had a drug problem but also had around 8
arrest for a DWI, 2 poss offenses, 3 driving violations and a couple other things, no bad crimes....any way she checked all this on our first date and was waiting to see if I would come out and tell her..and on the 3rd date I did tell her that I had a drug problem and I was clean now. And she says now that that was a big plus but she's now having thoughts about moving foward
because shes looking in the future and if we get married or what ever she thinks I'll go back to using...this girl is amazing and I'm in love with her already..I've never fell this fast for anyone and shes said the same...but she keeps saying she can't get past my drug past and worrying that I will start using again...I've swore to her I would go to her first and go to treatment or what ever...we are still talking and trying to work threw this but any advice from you guys would be appreciated...I don't want to lose this girl!

The fact that she ran a background check on you without you knowing it, should send both chills down your back. And have you running for the hills! Any woman REGARDLESS OF THE FACTS that she was hurt by two previous relationships. Has a background check run on you and doesn't take you at face value is a woman who will go greater lengths later on when you piss her off about something minor! Get rid of her now!

P.S. if you weren't pissed when she told you what she did behind your back, then you're either brain dead or pussy whipped! Sorry but there it is!

 

[sheffield]

She met you when you were clean and you said that was 5 1/2 years ago you had some issues as we all do. I'm sure she has some baggage also but you didn't ask her for that or check around on her. Think about what your doing as love will make you blind.

I had a girl once who did a background check on me her father was a poilce officer so it was easy for her to do and here she was the crazy one we broke up and she stalked me slashed all my tires and 16 years later I get mail sent to my house with her name on it. Ill just say my old lady was not to happy.

Just think about it. Good luck bro!!