help with the female

[BRINGTHEPAIN23]

My Girlfriend who is now my wife was the same way...Untill i took her to see
Bigger, Stronger, Faster...we both went to high school with the bros in the movie...it was funny cause after the movie she wanted me to try gh...

 

[doc]

i have the communication part down bro.. ur telling me ur wife or gf encourages ur steroid usage?

encourages? no, I don't think many people in general ENCOURAGE drug use. But I communicate to her how to minimize risk and injury, explain to her how it's a big part of my life right now, answer any questions she has, and most of all there's trust. She trusts me enough to allow me to take part. I also explain how it's better than most of my other friends going out without their girls, going to clubs, and bars... while I'm at home with my baby cooking her dinner and watching a movie snuggled up on the couch. which I regress to my earlier statement, it's all about communication.

 

[Adammoretti3456]

encourages? no, I don't think many people in general ENCOURAGE drug use. But I communicate to her how to minimize risk and injury, explain to her how it's a big part of my life right now, answer any questions she has, and most of all there's trust. She trusts me enough to allow me to take part. I also explain how it's better than most of my other friends going out without their girls, going to clubs, and bars... while I'm at home with my baby cooking her dinner and watching a movie snuggled up on the couch. which I regress to my earlier statement, it's all about communication.

sounds like a great girl

 

[Ikzelf]

This is a fuckud up situation.. You can not use one while secretly?
And if your relationship goes well then you start again?

 

[OuchThatHurts]

1st question: Is this girl American?
2nd question: How old are you both?
3rd question: Why now all of a sudden, is it an issue?

The only thing I can tell you is I would never respond favorably to the ultimatum set forth. relationships are compromise and communication not ultimatums. Since you're living with her family (which, I'm sorry is probably worse than the steroids) then you're going to have to abide by their rules - which can easily become her rules. Get out of there. Get your own place.

You never should have told her about it all but now that you did, she can easily have you eating out of the palm of her hand with threats. It's different if they know without you telling them, but once you tell them and talk about it, then they have something on you. I firmly disagree on the 'sit down and discuss the benefits' routine. They don't wanna here that stuff! I disagree some of what was said here. I say tell her that you're ready if she decides she still wants to be with you but until then, see ya.

Is it worth remaining comfortable and in exchange giving up part of yourself and your way of life to maintain that comfort? And if so, what part of yourself do you sell next time to stay snuggled up on the sofa?

 

[BillHilton]

This is coming from a 47 year old. I was married the first time for 16 years, had 4 sons, btw. I am at almost 6 years with missus no.2

Now, first, I am going to believe you that the gear costs little or nothing. Second I am going to believe you that the fallout with your family is not your fault. Third, I am going to believe that you are a butt busting hard worker at school and work -- even though you didn't exactly say that. If the above is true, then listen to what I have to say --


RUN! Do not walk to the nearest exit. I was married for 16 years to a control freak beyond anyone's ability here to comprehend. It was hell, every day. But it started slowly. Then with each kid, I was more locked in. (I got custody of 3 of the 4 -- I was an involved Dad).

It started soon after the engagement. I had a pet snake -- just a little corn snake -- had it the whole time we dated. Had to get rid of it before moving in together. "You wouldn't let a snake be more important..." Everyone said oh yeah no big deal. But then the next "little thing" all salt shakers thrown out. Then only beer on one night of the w/e, then and on and on and on. I gave the boys their bottles in the middle of the night and the w/e, so she could rest -- always under the threat of the big ultimatum. And it got worse and worse. Because as I learned later, control freaks get off on CONTROL. They don't care about the results or the reasons. They just want to see you conform to their will.

Right or wrong, you were pursuing this with her knowledge apparently as long as you dated. She would not demand that you change unless she wanted to control you. Not change you, control you. Say yes and you will be one step down the road to being an emasculated pathetic excuse of a man. I know.

Now, there are good supportive women out there. And I am happily married to one now. She supports my activities, she helps budget for them , and she gets off on the results. This is not to say that we do not look ahead and make joint decisions, such as we have to watch the funds starting in the fall with another in college. But we are always working together to find a way to make things work.