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Hilariously bad jokes!

method2madness

Well-known member
Registered
Joined
Apr 19, 2010
Messages
1,978
I heard a joke today that I thought was hilarious, perhaps due to my particular sense of humor. How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb.... One, but the light bulb has to really want to change :rolleyes: Granted, I heard this on a TV show but I love it. What about you guys, share some funny bad ones that you know.
 
Why do women wear makeup and perfume? ........Because they're ugly and they smell.
 
- Honey, I go to the GYM! You wanna join?
\- Do I look fat or what?

\- If you don't wanna go, don't go.

\- So now you say I'm lazy.

\- Calm down, I didn't say that.

\- So you think I'm hysteric, right?

\- No. I didn't say that!

\- Aha, so I'm a liar too.

\- OK. You don't go.

\- Wait a second. Why do you want to go without me?
 
An old joke about a fighter pilot...
According to him, flight school is hard. Most recruits wash out early. Some... Not so early. The training lasts years, and you can wash out at any time.

It was the last day of training, right before graduation, when the news came down, one of the cadets was being kicked out.

By this point they were all already officers, so they let him pick any duty assignment in the air force he wanted... Anything but being a pilot.

So, given the choice of any post, he considered a post at a large Air Force Base in the desert, with a pool, a movie theater, a gym... Or a post at a smaller base in a big city, where he could go out when off duty and visit the clubs, restaurants, and enjoy the beach...

Finally, he decided. He wanted to be a mobile deployment officer.

Shocked, they asked him, "Why? You'll spend all your time either setting up camp, positioning equipment, or breaking down camp and packing up equipment. You'll sleep in tents, and you won't even have a proper shower for weeks."

He smiled and replied, "Because thats where the surface to air missiles are. If I'm not gonna fly, no one is."
 
I had a job interview where I had to talk with 6 different people. One guy ended early and asked if I had a joke to pass the time. All I could think of in my head was "so there was a jew, a pollock and puerto rican...." I did not give any jokes that time.

Why did the Pollock bring a ladder to the bar?
Last time he was there the bartender said "hey next week your drink is on the house"
 
I'm liking these so far, keep em coming (y)
 
I like the "tasteless jokes", most I should not post on here. Here is a page of some: **broken link removed**

One example that isn't too bad:"What’s a homeless woman use for a vibrator? Two flies in a bottle."

another good one:
"What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury dough boy? A red headed bitch with a yeast infection."

and

"What’s the best thing about a blow job? Ten minutes silence."
 
How do you get a Nunn pregnant?

You fuck her.
 
Why don’t retards eat pickles?

They can’t get their head in the jar.
 
What's the diff between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?




You can unscrew a light bulb..
 
Two snakes crawling thru the woods. One snake asked the other, hey are we poisonous ? The other say yes
why ? Well when we crossed over that stick back there I accidentally bit my tongue...
 
I bet you can’t tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time?, a husband says to his wife.

She than quickly responds...Your dick is bigger than your brothers.
 
Guy walks into his doctor's office. Doctor says, "I need a urine, semen, & stool sample." Guy says, "Hey Doc. I'm in a hurry. Can I just give you my underwear?"
 
How does someone that is "slow" remember how to put on their old underwear? Yellow in front, brown in back.
 

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