How do you move on? I dont even wanna live.

triathloncoach · Nov 24, 2009

WOW Phil

I respect your last post.

MrCyp · Nov 24, 2009

PHIL HERNON said:
You are creating all of this turmiol yourself........you could have a child that would grow up to love you both, you could have anabundance of love in your life of , but you choose hate.........you choose to be alone..... You are sick man....you choose to kill something because of your insecurities?........You do not own that girl.........you dated also........she is not damaged goods............you are selfish, talking about wedding CDs.......what the fuck man. Get on the fucking phone or better yet a plane, go see her, get with her, stop crying.......do it..........be a man, a father........TRUST ME.......TRUST ME.....its the only way

Im not ready to be a father. I lost my job and dont even have my life figured out. Plus, its not mine. That would bother me so much. Meeting a girl who already had a kid would be no biggie, but her having it while we were on a break just kills me. It will always remind me of her with another guy and that kid is the outcome. It would be so embarassing to tell my family what happened.

PHIL HERNON · Nov 24, 2009

Well

MrCyp said:
Im not ready to be a father. I lost my job and dont even have my life figured out. Plus, its not mine. That would bother me so much. Meeting a girl who already had a kid would be no biggie, but her having it while we were on a break just kills me. It will always remind me of her with another guy and that kid is the outcome. It would be so embarassing to tell my family what happened.

I understand.....and I understand how you feel....but in my opinion you are making a mistake if you say you lover her.

MrCyp · Nov 24, 2009

I also kinda feel that if she truely love me the way she says then she would have gone through with the abortion. She knows that by not doing it I will live a life of misery without her and for her to pick the kid thats not even ours over me shows me that maybe we are diff. I can honestly say if someone told me I had to kill my own mother to be with her I would do it. Sure it would haunt me forever but to me not being with her would hurt more. And she's not even willing to part with a 5month old fetus that isnt even truely a life yet(imo). She chose me 2nd and I guess that will help me move on. I almost feel like im going to have to learn to hate her in order to move on.

bloodshed · Nov 24, 2009

if you hate her shell still matter to you. you either have to accept her, and the child, or forget about her altogether and just not care.

Gators · Nov 24, 2009

MrCyp said:
I also kinda feel that if she truely love me the way she says then she would have gone through with the abortion. She knows that by not doing it I will live a life of misery without her and for her to pick the kid thats not even ours over me shows me that maybe we are diff. I can honestly say if someone told me I had to kill my own mother to be with her I would do it. Sure it would haunt me forever but to me not being with her would hurt more. And she's not even willing to part with a 5month old fetus that isnt even truely a life yet(imo). She chose me 2nd and I guess that will help me move on. I almost feel like im going to have to learn to hate her in order to move on.

That's not love bro, that's an unhealthy obsession

Gators · Nov 24, 2009

MrCyp said:
I also kinda feel that if she truely love me the way she says then she would have gone through with the abortion. She knows that by not doing it I will live a life of misery without her and for her to pick the kid thats not even ours over me shows me that maybe we are diff. I can honestly say if someone told me I had to kill my own mother to be with her I would do it. Sure it would haunt me forever but to me not being with her would hurt more. And she's not even willing to part with a 5month old fetus that isnt even truely a life yet(imo). She chose me 2nd and I guess that will help me move on. I almost feel like im going to have to learn to hate her in order to move on.

I'm sorry, but you asked for opinions, here is one you might not like, just the way i see it, no disrespect intended.

Grow the F up, grow a set, and man up. She chose not to kill her baby, BIG difference between choosing life of her child vs having a you around. I mean damn dude, you're asking her to kill her own child. If you truly lover her, then you will quit being a baby and accept the reality of the situation, and move forward. It ain't all about you, there's life of a child involved, and to be honest, if you can't understand that, i don't know what else to say.

Like i said, nothing personal, just my view (right or wrong) and i don't sugar coat... Good luck w/ whatever you decide

VNV · Nov 25, 2009

Ehren said:
Bro, that's a hard story.
I get that you're afraid now. Dont be. Yes, you will meet someone else. Probably several. One or more of them will be great and all you hope for. You can choose the best. All options are open, where before they were closed. You'll look back on this hell, as the turning point in the happiness that you feel in the future. When all is right with the world, and you wake up next to the woman you never thought could possibly exist, with no baggage, no kid, no fucked up history that you have to blot from your mind, you will recognize this as a necessarry step in your evolution. You have no responsibilities to her now, you are free to do better next time. To improve and be the man you imagine, with the life you want.

Word.

thebrick · Nov 25, 2009

If you truly loved her, you would be supportive of her. Instead, you want everything on your terms. That's not love. That's being selfish. You want a reality that cannot ever exist. You both walked away from that possibility when you broke up the first time. We all reap what we sow and nobody is exempt from that law. Ever.

ojs · Nov 25, 2009

Without knowing very much about either one of you, it sounds like she's grown up very quickly and is taking full responsibility for her actions. And she's ready to pay whatever price is necessary. You, on the other hand, sound very immature.

You might consider seeing a counselor to help you through this. And if it turns out that you really love her, marry her so she doesn't have to suffer through this alone.

You're dumping her. She hasn't cheated on you. She needs you. And you don't appear to be man enough to step up to the plate. Instead you're going on about your feelings. And it makes you sound spineless. I would expect a good man to walk it off, get over it and do the right thing. But that's just my opinion.

MrCyp · Nov 25, 2009

What makes this rough is im very for abortion and she isnt. I dont consider it a life and she does. And with this situation it makes it just that much harder..

mayopmemi · Nov 25, 2009

Mine-Boss from El salvador

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MrCyp · Nov 25, 2009

mayopmemi said:
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Awesome. Thanks so much bro. You just anwsered my ?. I now know what to do. Thank you

musicmann89 · Nov 25, 2009

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