How to handle this situation

[broo]

Hey guys. I am looking for some advice from people with experience.

My situation I am just become 23. Got everything in life that i want. A good job a nice houise, car and have enough to spend. Lot of friends like my situation and look up to me.

I only have one problem i have been strugling with the last year.

There A girl in my group of friends is more than just a friend to me. We now eachother for a few years now and speak to eachother pretty often but it was just if we and my friends go out and where we are going to. It was nothing special just liked i have with a lot of other girls how i go out with.

About a year ago everything changed. We decided to go to the movies togheter and sinds then the "problems" started. We started calling eachother seeing eachother more often. Watch movies togheter and when we are out we always where driving eachother crazy. I feeled the heat going up. Everbody that see us think we have something going on.. And since i always got the girls i wanted i tought this would also become "something" but i gues i was wrong...The problem she has a boyfriend for around 4 years. We have decided to quit with all the things we do togheter the callings sending messages etc etc. But now again afther the tierd time we are "playing""the games again. I am not having sex with her just everything you do with your girlfriend except that. Including sending messaged we mis eachother think about eachother etc. Even when here boyfriend is with here we are flirting togheter.

i have asked her many times what see wants and how she think we should handle this. We both now the situation is not""right"" Everytime it comes she likes me verry much and dont want to mis me etc etc BUT she always choosed for her boyfriend when it comes down. Then it is quit again for a few weeks. We see eachother at the gym or at the club and everything starts again ! At the beginning we just do we are now "normal" friends but the atraction to seeing echother smsing etc is to big. I fall in love again and think again this time it wil work but always it ends she dont want to give up here relationship...This happend a few timed now and i am getting crazy of the situation. I want her but i am not sure how to handle this.

Should i keep trying because i am fighting against 4 years.

Shoud i give up and go on ? If i do how should i handle is i see here i see here at least 2 times a weak. So it is verry hard to forget here.

I also think it is part that always everything i wanted became mine now this is something i am afraid i am going to lose.

Thans for your time sorry for the bad english i am from finland.

 

[maxsupplements]

oh buddy...

well, honestly.. theres two ways you can handle this... the civil and honest way, which would be the healthy way, or the kineving, crazy bad boy way.. whichever you choose will cause you to learn from your choice later on in the future..

you can choose to continue this and to continue messing with her all and having fun, all behind this dudes back, and continue, and even possibly fuck her.. and let me tell you you are really only setting youself up for distater.. but you can continue it, and hiding and etc.. hiding behind his back, and her own shame. and this will continue til A) he finds out and wants to kill you and break up with her, then you are stuck with a woman in distress, or B) you continue it til you stop it or it goes on forever, and you never get what you want.

or you could be the honest man, and realize that if she would do this to him, then you damn well know she would do it to you,, so imagine you are in his shoes, and youa re the boyfriend, and all this time you are fucking her, telling her you love her etc.. and all along she is hangin out with some other dude.. you dont even know it, but its happening. so, you can choose to not be involved, and tell her that the attraction is too strong, and its better you dont talk at all.. and see what happens.. sometimes loving something so much will only get you to one point, then its up to you to set it free and see if it was meant to be..

if it were me, i wouldnt even mess with her if she has a BF... screw that.. i have been the man that got cheated on, and i hated everysecond after i knew what happened.. it tainted me, and tainted my faith that there really is good women out there, but there are, just in todays society, they are hard to come by...

good luck and i hope you make a wise decision..

 

[OuchThatHurts]

or you could be the honest man, and realize that if she would do this to him, then you damn well know she would do it to you,, so imagine you are in his shoes, and youa re the boyfriend, and all this time you are fucking her, telling her you love her etc.. and all along she is hangin out with some other dude.. you dont even know it, but its happening. so, you can choose to not be involved, and tell her that the attraction is too strong, and its better you dont talk at all.. and see what happens..

Unfortunately, the above is almost always true. You may be on one end this time but the next time around you may well find yourself in the boyfriend's shoes. Think about him for a moment.

 

[broo]

Thanks for the reply's.

I understand your point. She sad it to me a few times that it was not just to play a game or cheat on here boyfriend. We never had sex and this wil not happend because we both now that in this situation it messes everything up. Also when see is not sure about what see wants and everything we now that nothing can happend because it wil fuck everything up...Lot of friends of me ask what is going on but we always reply we just get along good togheter. But we both now its more than that. But when we talk about it everytime its end she don't want to give up here relationship BUT also not want to give up the fun and contact we have. We than always come to the conclusion we "should" just be friends we "prentent" we are friends is goed ok for a few weeks but again we feel the feelings growing and ending up just like it was. No kissing no sex but also not just normal friends..

I now its not good for the boyfriend but relationships do change... somethimes i think if i hold on long enough she wil break up with him but everytime i think i get close we end up right on the beginning.

I now it sounds as a crazy situation but simply said we are more than just friends but nog enought to be lovers. But it kils me inside when i am dating and seeing here i lose eyes for other girls.. but then we go home and she ends up with here boyfriend I end up alone.