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How to live with your mistakes and move on.

Gomit,
Totally let go of that thought of "setting yourself up to be fucked"! Having that in the back of your mind will only foster resentment.

I know this sound cliché, but it's the God's honest truth from my experience; what ever the outcome, it will eventually be the best one possible one and all those involved will be just fine.

For now, just focus on what you've been doing. Improving yourself, figuring out what you want. Don't worry or talk about the "what ifs". If you are truly changing, it will be evident to her and you won't even need to tell her about it.

Stay positive and it will all work out!

Peace
 
Thursday June 20th, 2013

AA 'Big Book' - Quote


When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken. - Pg. 86 - Into Action
 
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

The best decision you have ever made is to opt for the health that sobriety and clean time will give you. If the decision was someone else's then your decision to accept it was the best one ever made. You will gain a new perspective on life and for this you need to thank yourself.

As I thank myself, I also thank any others, including a Higher Power, as I understand Him / Her, for giving me another hour without mind-affecting chemicals.
 
Sorry about the above 2 posts.
I put those in the wrong thread! :eek:
 
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I have a quick question for you guys, pertaining to my situation with my ex. Me and her have been talking a good amount about our future mainly how we can't just say its over beacuse there is obviously alot still there and we don't know what the future holds(she really needs to see ive changed and even than there is a chance she might not be able to get past what has happend) Anyway something that has come up alot is about what is going to happen inbetween that time, she feels that beacuse i have hurt her if the opportunity presents itself for her to date other people she should do that as she feels it may help her figure out what she really wants. Obviously i don't like this but as we are not togther i have no say in it and i understand, but on the flipside becasue i have hurt her and she knows i want to be with her she dosn't think i should be able to date anyone at least untill she does(due to the fact i fucked her over so on and so forth)

So what i'm asking is am i just setting myself up for a fucking disaster, don't get me wrong at this point in time i couldn't be with anyone else anyway im to hung up on her and i have to much to focus on myself, i wouldn't drag someone else into this mess. But by shutting out the idea off letting anyone else in tell she does am i basicly just waiting for karama to fuck me over. I have done this before with her as we have broken up a few times and she dated someone for about 3 months than came back to me right away, but those times i was also living in the same state as her and not 1500 miles away. So by elimanting that thought am i just asking basicly to be misrable i mean don't get me wrong i want to spend my life with her and i would wait 50000 years if it would forsure work, but what if she dates someoone and falls in love with them and i'm just screwd over shut out all other options and than have to start over while she is already happy(and odds are i won't be in a very good place) I know there is no easy answer to this and i know my grammer is awful(i'm a very emotional typer) but any advice would really help guys as like i said i wasn't to be happy in the end but i also don't want to destroy this if there is a chance it could work out.

What I bolded above concerns me, big time. You made mistakes, but for her to try and control you like that is a red flag. If you two do work it out and get back together, this shows a very negative trait on her part that could either destroy your relationship or at the very least make it miserable. Think about it, would YOU ever make such a ridiculous demand of her? If she wants to work on getting back together she should focus on that. If she wants to see what's out there, she should be mature enough to see that you have that right as well, whether she likes it or not. She can't have it both ways and you need to, IMO, man up and tell her that. Little things like this add up slowly over time, so subtly you don't even notice them and a few years down the line, you're being punked, bitched and controlled left and right and are not happy with yourself.

I also co-sign on what renewlyf said. The only thing you need to worry about right now is you and getting yourself better. You're stressing over and painting yourself into a corner over something you have absolutely no control of - her. It may sound harsh and I know it's hard, right now, but she is NOT the only woman in the world. You're building a fantasy based upon what you THINK you have lost as opposed to building a present and a future based upon what your reality is, right now. That goes in the same category as obsessing about the past. It's a waste of energy that can be used to move on and get your life back on track.
 
I do not think you should date...for you not her. A chic will throw a wrench in you working on you. But your ex doesn't have the right to ask that of you. ..This maybe a red flag to know she isnt the one for you. She may be just talking with her emotions, women do that. Tell her that's not reasonable and see how she responds. Don't let your desires cloud your judgement.

Your number one priority is working on you.
 
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What I bolded above concerns me, big time. You made mistakes, but for her to try and control you like that is a red flag. If you two do work it out and get back together, this shows a very negative trait on her part that could either destroy your relationship or at the very least make it miserable. Think about it, would YOU ever make such a ridiculous demand of her? If she wants to work on getting back together she should focus on that. If she wants to see what's out there, she should be mature enough to see that you have that right as well, whether she likes it or not. She can't have it both ways and you need to, IMO, man up and tell her that. Little things like this add up slowly over time, so subtly you don't even notice them and a few years down the line, you're being punked, bitched and controlled left and right and are not happy with yourself.

I also co-sign on what renewlyf said. The only thing you need to worry about right now is you and getting yourself better. You're stressing over and painting yourself into a corner over something you have absolutely no control of - her. It may sound harsh and I know it's hard, right now, but she is NOT the only woman in the world. You're building a fantasy based upon what you THINK you have lost as opposed to building a present and a future based upon what your reality is, right now. That goes in the same category as obsessing about the past. It's a waste of energy that can be used to move on and get your life back on track.

I agree big time with what your saying i need to focus on the present and my reality i really appreciate the words and advice brother!
 
I do not think you should date...for you not her. A chic will throw a wrench in you working on you. But your ex doesn't have the right to ask that of you. ..This maybe a red flag to know she isnt the one for you. She may be just talking with her emotions, women do that. Tell her that's not reasonable and see how she responds. Don't let your desires cloud your judgement.

Your number one priority is working on you.

I agree as well with this i defintly should not be with anyone right now it wouldnt be far to them or me, because i need to figure out me!
 
I agree as well with this i defintly should not be with anyone right now it wouldnt be far to them or me, because i need to figure out me!
I always believed that in order to be happy with someone else you need to be happy with yourself first. Get yourself back on track and then you will be ready. Just take it one day at a time.
 
Things are slowly getting better brothers, today i passed my server exam(300 questions lol) so i get to start training for night shifts and soon ill actually be making some serious money! Training is going great im back up 10 lbs, though i have a pec minor or biceps impingement lagging issue from about 1 1/2 months ago(taking this week of chest and starting rotater cuff/ pec range of motion training) hopefully it can be cured without a doc visit as a copay on a MRI is just out of the question atm(i'm under my moms insurance but i'm the oldest of 7 and shes a single mom and is a school teacher so she can't swing it either), so hopefully i can work through it but i truly am starting to feel a little bit more hope every day!!
 
Slow and steady!
The key here is your attitude which seems positive and hopeful! Our attitude about life and the situations we are faced with is one of the few things we can control!
 

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True colors

So true colors always show, things were going great awsome job talking to my ex slowly getting better every day. Well when i moved out and moved she kept our lease and her partents helped pay my half. So i knew she had to move, funny how life works right? So here un knowing moved in above(in a sperate apratment but in the same house its one of those sperate upstairs apratments) a 3rd year med student cuz its cheep and close to the med school, low and be hold its a dude i know and have actualyl fucked up beacuse he has always had a thing for my girl, she didnt know thsi and looked at it as achacne to meet new people and live close to med school, so of course when she tells me i freak the fuck out on her and explaine to her that this guy is bacily gonna stop at nothin to be with her, needless to say after lots of screaming and arguing she decides she is leading me on to much by tallking to me since she dosn't know what she wants and is trying to figure out her life so she says she dosnt htink anything wil happen but she cant say forsure beacuse shes just tryin to live her life and she thinks we shouldn ttalk tell her b day july 23, so baah blah balh i still proise her i wont see or hook up with anyone else but shes cut me bad and now i feel liek this faggot ass cardion rniing pompis fuck face is gonna stael her away fro0m me cuz shes confsued, so what do i do tonight i go out to downtow boulder for thei firs ttime do a shit ton of blow drink my face off and fuck soem girl in a batrhoom bar will her boyfreind is holding my drink granted s he is hot a sfuck but ive betrayed my ex in the promise ive made i did drugs fuckd a random gril and came home and shot 200mg of tren into my ass, what do i do do i come clean to my ex do i wipe it off as a mistake, do i just give in and accpet im a failurer and end my self or push forward im lost brothers it all was prefcet tell my fucking bitch of an ex innncoenlty seild our fate, im so lost so fucked up and i feel awful as i siti in y room knowing i not only ruined this new girls realtionship[(of 4 year) but also the promise i amde to my ex, do i just roll with it become the steroytpe ( i happen to be a fitness model) and just fuck every sexy girl that walk and just juice my face oof or do i try tobecome a better man im so fucked up at this moment i can barly see so forgive mytyping i just dont understan life
 
So true colors always show, things were going great awsome job talking to my ex slowly getting better every day. Well when i moved out and moved she kept our lease and her partents helped pay my half. So i knew she had to move, funny how life works right? So here un knowing moved in above(in a sperate apratment but in the same house its one of those sperate upstairs apratments) a 3rd year med student cuz its cheep and close to the med school, low and be hold its a dude i know and have actualyl fucked up beacuse he has always had a thing for my girl, she didnt know thsi and looked at it as achacne to meet new people and live close to med school, so of course when she tells me i freak the fuck out on her and explaine to her that this guy is bacily gonna stop at nothin to be with her, needless to say after lots of screaming and arguing she decides she is leading me on to much by tallking to me since she dosn't know what she wants and is trying to figure out her life so she says she dosnt htink anything wil happen but she cant say forsure beacuse shes just tryin to live her life and she thinks we shouldn ttalk tell her b day july 23, so baah blah balh i still proise her i wont see or hook up with anyone else but shes cut me bad and now i feel liek this faggot ass cardion rniing pompis fuck face is gonna stael her away fro0m me cuz shes confsued, so what do i do tonight i go out to downtow boulder for thei firs ttime do a shit ton of blow drink my face off and fuck soem girl in a batrhoom bar will her boyfreind is holding my drink granted s he is hot a sfuck but ive betrayed my ex in the promise ive made i did drugs fuckd a random gril and came home and shot 200mg of tren into my ass, what do i do do i come clean to my ex do i wipe it off as a mistake, do i just give in and accpet im a failurer and end my self or push forward im lost brothers it all was prefcet tell my fucking bitch of an ex innncoenlty seild our fate, im so lost so fucked up and i feel awful as i siti in y room knowing i not only ruined this new girls realtionship[(of 4 year) but also the promise i amde to my ex, do i just roll with it become the steroytpe ( i happen to be a fitness model) and just fuck every sexy girl that walk and just juice my face oof or do i try tobecome a better man im so fucked up at this moment i can barly see so forgive mytyping i just dont understan life

I just want to say i'm very ashamed of my self and my actions and hope to learn from this and be a better person sorry for the awful post guys.
 
You should go see someone professionaly about some of your issues. I have before and it helped me immesely.

Sent from my SCH-R950 using Tapatalk 2
 
Agree, counseling can be a game changer! Focus on you, put in the work / effort to improve yourself, and everything falls into place, this is fact. A honest self inventory isn't often pretty or 'fun' to look at, but it's really necessary to begin the process of self improvement.
 
bad decisions

i am the king of bad decisions, u name it, i have f^%$$d it up. money, i have pissed away more money on drugs than i care to remember....i have lost jobs because of my temper and drugs. i have been married and divorced more times than i care to admit. i have lost houses, cars and most importantly i lost my family. i didn't think i could go on, and i finally ended up in a hospital on full life support for 2 months after trying to take my own life.

After I came out of the coma i was in i had to go to a full time rehabilitation in the hospital. I went from a wheel chair, to a walker, to a cane. After a lot of really hard weeks i learned how to walk again. I also had to learn how to use my hands again. it was brutal. On top of all that i lost 80lbs, i looked like a skeleton literally.

But I found God through all of this, I found out that He loved me and died for me, and I accepted Christ. It has not been an easy road but I am still here and happier than I have ever been in my whole life. I have a wife that is truly a great woman, and I am able to have another chance at life. Im still a work in progress, but i am not the person i used to be. thank God for that!

I really appreciate everyones honesty on this thread...we all screw up. Everybody pays for an education one way or another, but some of us pay a lot more than others.
 
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