How to eat on Primo: A Practical Guide.
Eating on Primobolin is quite similar to eating on many other compounds and a few basic rules should be followed.....
The first thing you are going to want to do is find something edible. Take a look around and what do you see in your immediate vicinity? It's ok I'll wait, go ahead.....Ok it seems that those gym socks, shoes, and chair are not food and therefore will not work with our whole eating on Primo guide.
So we need to go somewhere where food is first. But slow down and put away the fire arm, this isnt 1628. We dont have to go kill it ourselvs. We'll head to the supermarket.
OK thats better, there's plenty of food here. OH Jesus Christ! Really? NO. Stop. You dont just start humping cans! thats not even eating? OH crap, you dont know what eating is do you? It's ok well get to that later let's just get what we need.
Like eating with other compounds or just eating we need 3 basic things in our food, Carbs, Fats, and Protien. We can get the protien from meat so let's go get that first.
Now that we're in the meat isle why dont we go pick some things out? We'll get some steak, and some chicken, and maybe a little pork. Holy shit! Did you just kidnap a small fat child and put him in the cart?
You did...Ok, it's fine, let me just think about this for a moment. Did you think the fat kid was meat? Why? Because I said pork and you used to call the fat chicks in algebra porkers. Thats just cruel and I dont even know where to begin explaining how many way this doesnt make any sence. Ok look, We obviously just committed a felony with you kidnaping large children here. We'll just leave him in the cart here in the isle and go get a new cart and hope noone saw you.
Wow, ok so, you wait her, and ill go get the meat.
Ok I think wer'e good on the meat now lets move on. Next we're going to need some carbs, Things like rice, potatoes , pasta or bread. Wait, Holy shit! Really ?!?!?! What could I have possibly said that lead you to believe you should kidnap a second overweight child? I don't care if you think they're funny go put him back where you found him and well just get out of here. I'll just shop for you.
OK, finally we have some food and no felony has been comitted. Next thing were going to have to do is prepare the food for consumption. Fuck man! Why? Please tell me what the fuck I said since I went shopping for you, Spent my money so you can eat, and brought your food home because the only things you own are Primobolin, gym clothes, which seriously you should wash, like soon, and 3 identical copies of the robocop series on blue ray, would make you try to fuck a frozen chicken?
Consumption? You thought the word Consumption had something to do with heving sex with food? Jesus you are retarted. You can measure out and inject accurate doses of a powerful controlled substance with no doctor supervision but you think consumption means you should fuck a frozen chicken? You know what, ok fine, you bang the chicken over there and I'll make you a steak to eat. Sound good there corky?
OK heres you'r fucking steak! Now eat it so I can end this guide and never have to speak to you again. SHIT! The police are here. Were under arrest because you abducted two overweight children at the supermarket. Fuck you dude. Seriously, fuck you.
Check back next week for our new guide, How to avoid gang rape in a prison shower: A necissary guide.