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- Jun 18, 2002
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Friends, late last year, after having lots of blood in my urine one morning and having follow-up tests and scans, the doctors found a small “mass” in my right ureter (the tube that runs from my right kidney into my bladder). The mass was blocking that one ureter and my kidney was not draining properly and swelling as a result. After a biopsy and burning off what they could with a cath and a laser, the biopsy reports came back showing it was an aggressive malignancy. I am having surgery this week to remove that section of the ureter and a small section of my bladder. The remaining ureter (upper section) will be reattached to my bladder and I get to keep my right kidney. From my CT scans it appears we are catching this early. However, they are no guarantees until after my surgery to see if it has spread into surrounding tissue (muscle, fat, lymph). It can be very hard to tell from a CT scan they tell me. They do know it has grown into the outermost layer of that right ureter. If it has spread, I am looking at several months of chemotherapy post-op. Several doctors told me I was lucky I had the bleeding because these tumors don’t always bleed. If that happens, they just grow in silence until you have a very big and very difficult problem. Physically, I have felt fine, even now. The blood was the only sign I had something is wrong. Its been a HUGE amount of worry and stress for me and my family. My wife has been amazing and a source of strength and comfort for me.
Let me tell you, when something like this happens, your life is instantly changed in a fundamental way. You suddenly are confronted with the reality of your mortality and you reevaluate how you spend your days. Life no longer seems like a indefinite “open book". Life now seems quite finite and limited. Things that used to seem important like a nice house, nice car, “stuff” are now, meaningless. The simple, everyday things I used to take for granted are now tremendously rich and meaningful.
I have also put a lot of thought about everything I have put in my body over the many years. You try to give it a reason. You try to make sense of why its happening. I guess that is just being human. Genetics is very complicated and maybe I am over-thinking all this. The reality is, sometimes very bad things just happen. Like one of my oncologist told me recently, “we see children in here everyday with cancer. What did they do? Sometimes cells just do the wrong thing”. I took a lot of comfort from those words.
So, I know its cliche to say this, but its true… make each day count and mean something. In the blink of an eye, you never know what life will bring you. Or take away.
Let me tell you, when something like this happens, your life is instantly changed in a fundamental way. You suddenly are confronted with the reality of your mortality and you reevaluate how you spend your days. Life no longer seems like a indefinite “open book". Life now seems quite finite and limited. Things that used to seem important like a nice house, nice car, “stuff” are now, meaningless. The simple, everyday things I used to take for granted are now tremendously rich and meaningful.
I have also put a lot of thought about everything I have put in my body over the many years. You try to give it a reason. You try to make sense of why its happening. I guess that is just being human. Genetics is very complicated and maybe I am over-thinking all this. The reality is, sometimes very bad things just happen. Like one of my oncologist told me recently, “we see children in here everyday with cancer. What did they do? Sometimes cells just do the wrong thing”. I took a lot of comfort from those words.
So, I know its cliche to say this, but its true… make each day count and mean something. In the blink of an eye, you never know what life will bring you. Or take away.
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