I don't feel too good

[Starkraven]

Yeah,
I am in the middle of the 6th week on tren e at 500mg per week.
I am dieting like hell to reach 8-10% from 17%.
I did 375mg weeks 1-4 with test 500mg but dropped the test due to bloat.
I feel dead. seriously, like a dead man walking.
I feel depressed, empty, irritated, extreme anger at everything, little things, big things.
I am a robot.
I talk to 2-3 people ONLY.
I wake up do cardio 6 days a week in the AM for 45 min
I train in the PM mon-fri
I cook all my plain meals and eat them.
I never cheat, only fluctuate my carbs.
I just feel extremely depressed.
I feel like have nothing to look forward to and I'm a real loser and feel suicidal.
I am 22 and have no life, dont work, live with mom and dont go to school either.
I just workout to reach my goal now.
I don't talk to girls either because I'm a loser and why would any girl want to talk with a loser?
I might be real attractive and girls are ALWAYS looking, but I just don't want to end up upsetting a girl for knowing how much of a loser i am and weird too.

LOSER

 

[Crowler]

I would suggest you back off the Tren for 5 days and add a large amount of carbs for 2 days in a row and go to your church and talk to the pastor and call the suicide prevention hotline.

I am telling you a good deal of it is the low carbs and tren, I know cause I am experiencing it myself right now.

 

[Starkraven]

I'm not totally suicidal, I feel empty and depressed, not extremely suicidal.
Yesterday was my carb up, that didnt help much.
I think it is the tren magnifying my pathetic life, maybe.
Part of it is also the fact that ive never been lean before and I'm doing everything in my power to get there and my results have been pretty slow, of course this is the first time i'm really dieting, too.
I look like i lost maybe 2% BF MAX
My gut didnt shrink or anything. I dont look like i lost muscle, in fact i look more pumped and full.
BTW I can't back off tren because i'm using TREN ENANTHATE.

 

[Crowler]

I'm not totally suicidal, I feel empty and depressed, not extremely suicidal.
Yesterday was my carb up, that didnt help much.
I think it is the tren magnifying my pathetic life, maybe.
Part of it is also the fact that ive never been lean before and I'm doing everything in my power to get there and my results have been pretty slow, of course this is the first time i'm really dieting, too.
I look like i lost maybe 2% BF MAX
My gut didnt shrink or anything. I dont look like i lost muscle, in face i look more pumped and full.
BTW I can't back off tren because i'm using TREN ENANTHATE.

Believe me I DO understand and feel for you. I have alot of things going really good in my life, new wife, buying a house next week and just had a business deal dropped in my lap for the taking. BUT, I am still hating life and hate waking up in the AM> I think it is the tren as the last 2 days have been full of carbs and I still feel bored, tired and just don't want to keep fighting it out every day.

 

[Starkraven]

I mean in FACT, i look more pumped and full.

Prior to this, I knew i was a loser somewhat, but I didn't really think about it so much because I guess I just HAD to do something about it, but would just shine it off and wait it out or something, but now it just seems like i am SUCH a loser and cant help but tell someone.
You will never believe it, but i have a friend (girl) and she has 2 of her friends, also girls and last night I was just telling them all how much of a loser I am, and fucked up, etc.
I couldn't believe it but I just did it.
I hate that I still live here and I'm still fat and going through this diet phase and all is a slow process. It isn't hard, just time consuming and TIME TIME TIME to pass by, how god damn long does it take for a fat fuck, like 15% BF to reach 10%???
i'm just mentally fucked up in the head.
I can tell the tren magnifies all this and makes me realize i'm a LOSER.
I also suffer from anxiety, i dont work, i do NOTHING BUT THIS.
I just wont do anything til i reach a low body fat because it depresses me to look at myself FAT.

 

[Got Juice]

i hate to be harsh bro, but you are whining!

go get a goddamn job, start making some money, go to school, do something. fuck man i hate working, but if i didnt i would be too god damn bored sitting around all day.

in fact working or studying would take your mind off of eating and actually make your dieting easier by helping the time pass quicker.

seriously, you have to do somethiing with your life. the reason you feel empty is because you have nothing going on in your life. things will get better if you help yourself. you can do it man, we have all been there before and things WILL get better if you try.


later bro,

GJ

 

[Starkraven]

Well i do want to get a job but i dont need a full time job so its tough looking around for a part-time job.
You see, right now, a full time job would interfere with my dieting right now and i cant let that happen.
Once I'm done dieting, I don't mind going back to school and working a part-time job, since i'll be ripped and have reached my goal and be happy you know?
But I made it possible for me to do nothing but this and part of this empty feeling is not only the tren, but the fact that my results have been pretty slow since im dieting for the first time really and it doesnt seem like my bodyfat is going down.
I'd be damned if i could ever lose 1% BF per WEEK.
Seems like i lose 1% a month.
Then i'm bloated, but i stopped the test like almost 2 weeks ago?

 

[Got Juice]

again no offense, but you cant let a diet stop you from living your life. you must work, its a fact of life. unless you are born into money its going to happen, start looking now and by the time you reach your goal you will have a job. plus you can work and diet at the same time, i do it as well as many others.


also, what makes you think that by being ripped, you are going to be happy? man i am the happiest i have ever been in my life and i probably look the worst i ever have. not that i look horrible, but not MY BEST.

good luck,

GJ

 

[Starkraven]

Because i was born to look in the mirror.
I'm real into my looks and acheiving a desired look I always wanted would make me happy.
I was always the fat kid and this is the time to turn the tables once and for good.

I will go out and look around.
thankfully it isn't raining anymore here.

 

[Crowler]

Well i do want to get a job but i dont need a full time job so its tough looking around for a part-time job.
You see, right now, a full time job would interfere with my dieting right now and i cant let that happen.
Once I'm done dieting, I don't mind going back to school and working a part-time job, since i'll be ripped and have reached my goal and be happy you know?
But I made it possible for me to do nothing but this and part of this empty feeling is not only the tren, but the fact that my results have been pretty slow since im dieting for the first time really and it doesnt seem like my bodyfat is going down.
I'd be damned if i could ever lose 1% BF per WEEK.
Seems like i lose 1% a month.
Then i'm bloated, but i stopped the test like almost 2 weeks ago?

You said "You see, right now, a full time job would interfere with my dieting right now and i cant let that happen"

Ok I didn't know this was your situation.

So you do NOT work

You do NOT go to school?

Do you own your own house or your own apartment and saved up money to pay all your bills? If so cool.


OR are you a big fat freaking mooch living off your parents?


If you are not then you shouldn't take offense to this question.

If you are a MOOCH living at home then I have NO sympathy for you.

But your parents REALLY are cheating you. They should kick your fat lazy ASS out of the house and you would lose fat REALY fast because you wouldn't have food and you would find work REAL fast.

Then you could feel good about yourself because you are a productive member of society and no longer a MOOCH!

So which one is it. Independent living on saving/your own money.

OR FAT MOOCH???????????

 

[Got Juice]

i read in an earlier post that he is living with his mom.

see man, everyone will agree you need to make yourself a better person and quit worrying about being lean. being lean wont get you a goddamn thing unless you are a stripper or do gay porn..

in all seriousness though, crowler is on the right track with his statement.

later,

GJ

 

[Starkraven]

I worked prior to this and saved my money for this.
My dad died so I only live with my mother and she will never buy me even a yam or a piece of lettuce.
Being lean to me is important.
It may not to you, but it is a big thing for me.
A big thing.

 

[tbonus]

Man, lighten up. I am sure you look ok. 15% bodyfat is not fat and to most people who are not trained atheletes its ideal. You will not appreciate the 10% bodyfat if it just comes to you overnight. You also need to think of some things that make you happy. If looks are the only thing important to you then you have serious problems. Go see your priest or preacher or a therapist.

I am not real happy with my 20% bodyfat right now, but I have been lean before, and I will be again. Keep at it. Give yourself a couple of cheat meals too.

 

[Starkraven]

Yeah I care about my looks and the way I carry myself and all.
I don't look fat, but I am hella fat to myself.
Way too fat. way too much fat all over my body and face.
My goal is to be extremely lean, so i can take my god damn shirt off.
I understand 7% is harder than 10% but for now I want to reach 9-10%, or a bodyfat where I have a sunken chiseled face and my abs are showing and all my veins as well with all my muscles striated.

You see, you might be 20% but you have been lean before and know how to get there again whenever you want.
Ive never been lean before, so i know the first time leaning up is the hardest, since its the fat I have since I was a baby you know?
So it's not as easy.
A pro at 25% can get to 4% easier and faster than me from 15-16% to 9-10%.
Also, im endo, and genetics are not on my side.

 

[ElGato]

suicidal ideations

Hey bro,

"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem!"
I help Veterans out and there are a lot of people coming home from overseas that have seen some shit. We are blessed to live in the USA with our state f the art gyms, supplements, etc.... I bet you look better than most people you encounter. Don't set yourself up for failure. I worked in SpecOps and in training we lived day to day and got by by doing what it took to get your next meal. If we knew what was expected of us at the end of our training on day one, no one would of made it. Stick to your guns, take each day as it comes and stay true to yourself and you'll be able to look back at this and laugh. However, I agree with one gentlemen in the previous posts that you should talk to someone about your feelings.

 

[Conan21]

one thing i know for sure

Your gains will suck if your putting your mind under so much stress 24 hours a day. Being extremely stressed out is just like overtraining but worse. It also kills any kind of agression in the gym.

It raises cortisol levels, lowers testosterone and all kinds of other stuff. If you think you can, you will. If you think you can't you won't. If you think your a loser then you are one. and if your a loser your never gonna win and your not going to get lean b/c losers don't succeed, and that goes for all things in life, not just bodybuilding.

i've fell victim to that in the past too that lifting is the only thing you have and you gains will suck too if thats all you have. You need other things in you life. if your just staring at your self in the mirror all day your stressin yourself out and what kind of life is that anyway. whats the point of havin a nice build if you have no one to share it with other than staring at yourself in the mirror

Believe me, If you get lean, your still going to be depressed. Its not going to magically change everything like u think it will. Once you lean out your probably going to say your not lean enough or now u look skinny and the cycle is just going to keep repeating itself.

write down on a sheet of paper why you are so depressed. write down what would make you feel better about yourself(NOT JUST BEING LEAN). and then write down how you plan to achieve that. and start now.

also, never start a cycle when your having problems like your discussing. Don't use juice as an ant-depressant. Its only going to make things worse.

 

[Starkraven]

I'm not always stressed out.
But I always worry about shit so maybe that is why my gains suck and they always will because I will ALWAYS worry about shit so that is why i choose to lean out and forget this shit because i guess it wont happen with all the "stress"
I'm just feeling low because its mostly the slow process of leaning out.
Other things in my life are involved too but this is one thing I am after and will do whatever it takes to get there.
I'm on tren, dieting like hell, i cannot diet harder than this, i train hard, i do my cardio 6 days a week, what more can i do? how long does it take for my body to get from 17% to 9-10%?
Can this take more than 12-16 weeks?
I just dont get this shit anymore really.
Coming from 16-17% to 10%...seems like i lost maybe 2% in 6 weeks
So to lose 7% i guess thats 30 weeks..Is this the truth?

 

[ElGato]

Conan21 is right

High cortisol levels will counteract most of your positive work.
I was injured in '97 and felt I looked like Corky from life goes on.
Hadi, a very knowledgeable individual, dialed me in within 8 weeks.
You should ask him for some pointers. He is very approachable and knows what he is talking about.

 

[Crowler]

I'm not always stressed out.
But I always worry about shit so maybe that is why my gains suck and they always will because I will ALWAYS worry about shit so that is why i choose to lean out and forget this shit because i guess it wont happen with all the "stress"
I'm just feeling low because its mostly the slow process of leaning out.
Other things in my life are involved too but this is one thing I am after and will do whatever it takes to get there.
I'm on tren, dieting like hell, i cannot diet harder than this, i train hard, i do my cardio 6 days a week, what more can i do? how long does it take for my body to get from 17% to 9-10%?
Can this take more than 12-16 weeks?
I just dont get this shit anymore really.
Coming from 16-17% to 10%...seems like i lost maybe 2% in 6 weeks
So to lose 7% i guess thats 30 weeks..Is this the truth?

You say you are dieting like hell.

Maybe that is part of the problem. Give us an example of what you eat in a day we might be able to help.

What don't you get??? Bro if it was easy you never would have gotten to 15% BF and EVERYONE would be at 10%.

What is so SUDDENLY important to get to 10%.

BELIEVE me if you are unhappy at 15% you will STILL be unhappy at 10% just lower body fat. Then it is NOT magic. If you want to stay at 10% you will need to continually diet. Not as hard but by the way you say your body is you WILL need to watch what you eat to stay at 10%.

So give us an example, I get the feeling that you could change a few things and get BETTER results.


CROWLER

 

[Jrflex10er]

believe me ALL pro bodybuilders had part-time jobs or eve FULL TIME jobs. It's impossible not to when we eat so much and take so many supplements. You have to support yourself and no one else is going to do that. You are still young. Get a job that pays well and you'll be able to afford food and the supplements and be Consistent at bodybuilding which in turn will make you alot leaner and bigger. If you don't have a job or food or supplements how do you expect to get leaner or bigger with just the food your mother buys (you said she doesnt buy you "bodybuilding food"). Believe me it just comes down to you either want it or you don't. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and and FIND A WAY TO GET IT DONE!