I don't know if this should be in the counselling thread but I feel f***ed!

[The Wolf]

Shit I don't even know where to start. Ok I have been off the juice for a few months now as the wife wants a second baby. I have crashed big time and feel depressed and have lack of energy and will. She had a miscarriage a couple of years ago and I got upset and went back on the juice.

Now as I have been off for a few months I'm starting to notice that even my character has changed and I'm too mellow.

On Saturday there was a Halloween party at a club and I got to do the doors there. Usually I'm very assertive and very professional but I had a street fight that night because I did not let a few of the local trouble makers in. Usually I can sense and feel a punch is coming so I would act accordingly but this time I was in a process of using diplomacy with the possibility of fighting. As I was talking with one of them I got sucker punched by the other and I took him down right away and started grounding and pounding him, as I was doing that his friend jumped in and I lost my balance and ended up on the floor and this time I was being soccer kicked by both of them which seemed like forever, where the hell was my colleague? Good job I covered well and then I got up as they gassed themselves out and the my colleague pulled one of them to a corner and then we kicked them out, the fight escalated outside but at this time it was just mouthing off and one of them pulled out a stun gun from his car. I would have still gone for him but I felt a huge adrenalin crash and the only thing keeping me up was my will power.

Anyway for something like that to happen to me in my local town where I'm respected feels bad. I tried not to take it personally and not let it upset because I feel I protected myself and my club but when someone you know says something like "I heard you got beat" or "you should have kicked their ass", it pisses me off!

I know if my testosterone levels were normal it would be different.

Sorry for venting out boring you with my problems but it seems the only people that could understand is the bro's in this forum.

 

[The Wolf]

Btw the way it seems like the only person who held my back and took it personally was my brother and he ain't even a fighter. Shame on my other door staff and so called friends who just used me to get freebie's...

 

[Queefer]

Just give it some time and you will forget it ever happened. I know exactly what your thinking since I've been there a hundered times. You wish you could have taught them a lesson and now you feel like they've pulled one over on you. I'm glad you didn't get hurt and when it's two on one things could have been a lot worse for you.

 

[Bionic]

Bro, Fedor was a LEGEND and has gotten the short-end of the stick in fights. It happens to the best of us but you took it like a man and still did your job effectively. I'd have choice words for your colleague, though. I think your problem is psychological not hormonal. Anyways, I'm glad you're alright and the only thing hurt is your feelings. You'll live to fight another day.

 

[The Wolf]

Bro, Fedor was a LEGEND and has gotten the short-end of the stick in fights. It happens to the best of us but you took it like a man and still did your job effectively. I'd have choice words for your colleague, though. I think your problem is psychological not hormonal. Anyways, I'm glad you're alright and the only thing hurt is your feelings. You'll live to fight another day.

I don't know bro, I feel like a castrated dog. A dog after castration ain't the same is he?

 

[aeliop]

Shit I don't even know where to start. Ok I have been off the juice for a few months now as the wife wants a second baby. I have crashed big time and feel depressed and have lack of energy and will. She had a miscarriage a couple of years ago and I got upset and went back on the juice.

Now as I have been off for a few months I'm starting to notice that even my character has changed and I'm too mellow.

On Saturday there was a Halloween party at a club and I got to do the doors there. Usually I'm very assertive and very professional but I had a street fight that night because I did not let a few of the local trouble makers in. Usually I can sense and feel a punch is coming so I would act accordingly but this time I was in a process of using diplomacy with the possibility of fighting. As I was talking with one of them I got sucker punched by the other and I took him down right away and started grounding and pounding him, as I was doing that his friend jumped in and I lost my balance and ended up on the floor and this time I was being soccer kicked by both of them which seemed like forever, where the hell was my colleague? Good job I covered well and then I got up as they gassed themselves out and the my colleague pulled one of them to a corner and then we kicked them out, the fight escalated outside but at this time it was just mouthing off and one of them pulled out a stun gun from his car. I would have still gone for him but I felt a huge adrenalin crash and the only thing keeping me up was my will power.

Anyway for something like that to happen to me in my local town where I'm respected feels bad. I tried not to take it personally and not let it upset because I feel I protected myself and my club but when someone you know says something like "I heard you got beat" or "you should have kicked their ass", it pisses me off!

I know if my testosterone levels were normal it would be different.

Sorry for venting out boring you with my problems but it seems the only people that could understand is the bro's in this forum.

My opinion and don't take this the wrong way. I am giving you my opinion respectfully and you can take it and think about it or tell me to F...off either way it won't hurt my feelings and respect:

You are trying to have a child correct? That is serious business being somebody's Dad. We are talking about bringing a human being into the world that's very existance will depend on you. A human being that will later join the rest of the worlds population and interact with them. This person will impact other people who will impact other people etc.....

As a parent it is your responsibility to not only feed, shelter, and cloth this child but also to lead by example, nurture, teach, and mold into a productive citizen. Big time serious business bigger then anything most people do in life.

So that being said do you honestly feel you are ready for the challenge? To take care of a child one must put away childish things. Do you really think the measure of your manhood is fighting drunk guys in a bar? Are you F@!# kidding me? If your measure of self respect is how you are looked at in your town in regards to your bar room brawling ability then I am sorry but you might be big and strong but mentally you are a child. A child can't raise a child a man must raise a child.

 

[aeliop]

Bro, Fedor was a LEGEND and has gotten the short-end of the stick in fights. It happens to the best of us but you took it like a man and still did your job effectively. I'd have choice words for your colleague, though. I think your problem is psychological not hormonal. Anyways, I'm glad you're alright and the only thing hurt is your feelings. You'll live to fight another day.

Fedor was and is a professional fighter. He wasn't fighting for free he got paid and paid well. He never fought for free and never over access to a bar. That was the business he was in, winning, losing, all part of that business. Emotions, pride, anger, don't factor into that business. You are comparing Apples to Oranges.

 

[Cito33189]

"Anyway for something like that to happen to me in my local town where I'm respected feels bad. I tried not to take it personally and not let it upset because I feel I protected myself and my club but when someone you know says something like "I heard you got beat" or "you should have kicked their ass", it pisses me off!"

^ You cant think like this. I know exactly what your saying and how your feeling. It does suck, but your beating yourself up over something that dosent matter. People always talk, it sucks but its the truth. A good friend is hard to come by. My father always told me in your life time you'll be lucky if you can count your true friends on one hand. I believe it as I am becoming older. Not everyone is your friend. By the sounds of it you have a family and a loving wife those are the important things that actually matter. You'll be alright give it time and try to stay positive

 

[The Wolf]

My opinion and don't take this the wrong way. I am giving you my opinion respectfully and you can take it and think about it or tell me to F...off either way it won't hurt my feelings and respect:

You are trying to have a child correct? That is serious business being somebody's Dad. We are talking about bringing a human being into the world that's very existance will depend on you. A human being that will later join the rest of the worlds population and interact with them. This person will impact other people who will impact other people etc.....

As a parent it is your responsibility to not only feed, shelter, and cloth this child but also to lead by example, nurture, teach, and mold into a productive citizen. Big time serious business bigger then anything most people do in life.

So that being said do you honestly feel you are ready for the challenge? To take care of a child one must put away childish things. Do you really think the measure of your manhood is fighting drunk guys in a bar? Are you F@!# kidding me? If your measure of self respect is how you are looked at in your town in regards to your bar room brawling ability then I am sorry but you might be big and strong but mentally you are a child. A child can't raise a child a man must raise a child.



I think you need to have this conversation with yourself. Decide what is more important, getting off gear so you can partake in

Thank you my wife says the same thing. Your right mate! I'm trying to be the best father I can be but I guess I need to try harder. I already have a four year old son. No I'm not upset by what you sad at all, I am upset with myself because the funny thing is I'm in the real estate business and I don't even need the money. What have I got to prove after almost being thirty six years old. Thank you again. It was a good slap in the head for me!

 

[johnjuanb1]

Don't let it get you down. Next time they try to come in the club, be prepared to get revenge. You'll get them next time! :s'ar-wars

 

[parttimer]

I bounce on and off, and did all last summer. I am going to comment on the "you should have kicked their ass" comment. I have a very, very, umm very good repoire with the officer that work at the department where our businesses are. On July 4th I did the diplomacy game on a group of 5. At this time I was on 900mg of test, 600 of tren and anadrol. I walked them to the door, however our property extends another 75 feet to the sidewalk. Usually getting them to the door is sufficient. Well, one a-clown wanted to keep shooting his mouth off. Rather than letting him cause a scene at the door I kept walking him to the sidewalk. After him getting to close, I sent him sailing through the air. After his friends helped him up, he spit in my face. What did I do, I walked away. I let the other guys handle it. Walking away is bigger than beating someone down. When the police did arrive, that was their comment, I should have pounded the guy. Well, I make a really good living at my current job, bouncing is for pure entertainment. I am not going to risk everything just to be a tough guy. If your trying to have a kid, your going to need to learn to chill and get them outside and be done.

 

[The Wolf]

"Anyway for something like that to happen to me in my local town where I'm respected feels bad. I tried not to take it personally and not let it upset because I feel I protected myself and my club but when someone you know says something like "I heard you got beat" or "you should have kicked their ass", it pisses me off!"

^ You cant think like this. I know exactly what your saying and how your feeling. It does suck, but your beating yourself up over something that dosent matter. People always talk, it sucks but its the truth. A good friend is hard to come by. My father always told me in your life time you'll be lucky if you can count your true friends on one hand. I believe it as I am becoming older. Not everyone is your friend. By the sounds of it you have a family and a loving wife those are the important things that actually matter. You'll be alright give it time and try to stay positive

My father said the same thing. "My father always told me in your life time you'll be lucky if you can count your true friends on one hand." That's my new Facebook status update.

 

[SlimyToodleTot]

I've been off over a year and my wife has had 2 miscarriages and we're still trying. My mouth waters for a shot of test. But bringing a baby into this world is the most important thing right now and I can't take my eyes off the prize. We've even been doing fertility treatments at $450 monthly at no avail. My numbers ate good, she has eggs, sometimes stuff just doesn't go as planned. You should ask yourself, "what was the gift in getting caught by that sucker punch." most likely, there's something you can do better next time. I almost got hit in the head about a year ago by a girl. It broke on my arm when I blocked what I thought was a punch. I had incorrectly classified her as a non combatant since I was about to throw down with her boyfriend. Next time, if the bitch wants to wear the pants she better be willing to put on the gloves. You can't go into something half cocked. When you turn it on, you gotta turn it on and everyone is going down. So don't feel bad, I got sucker punched by a girl. But, there was a lesson in it and it had nothing to do with testosterone. Just being prepared

 

[SlimyToodleTot]

It was a bottle

 

[triathloncoach]

I dunno. This morning I walked out of magistrate court where I won my case. As we were walking out of court I called the defendant scum, and the lawyer "mr. Einstein". The lawyer said "excuse me sir" and I said, I apologize that you couldnt understand me - "you are both scum and YOU are an idiot"

He then raised his hand up, pointed his finger at me and started to say Sir....., where I then pointed at him moved toward him turning beat red and said dont you point your finger at me. He cringed backwards as my wife grabbed my arm, pulling me away telling me I was embarrassing her.

I feel like an idiot that I didnt simply enjoy the moment and walk away. Street fighting is for idiots.

You want to be a real man and support your family? Teach them right from wrong and financially support them.

Dont be down on yourself. But hitting someone puts you in a world of risk.

 

[Bionic]

Fedor was and is a professional fighter. He wasn't fighting for free he got paid and paid well. He never fought for free and never over access to a bar. That was the business he was in, winning, losing, all part of that business. Emotions, pride, anger, don't factor into that business. You are comparing Apples to Oranges.

Cool story, bro. Clearly, my point was missed on you but fortunately it was well received by the person for whom it was intended.

 

[Chipper Jones78]

Keep your head up Wolf.

I know it's easier said then done, but.....keep your head up bro.

Chip

 

[bRIAN617]

I think your reaction is one many of us would have. Being respected and in control of a situation where it's considered your job to do so brings a certain confidence. But when you'er at the door of a club, you'er dealing with every low life punk in town, as well as good people. You got jumped by two guys, so I don't see where you failed. But I can see how this could really mess you up inside. I imagine initially there was a ton of fear, bewilderment, and helplessness. When down and being beat, no one helped you, so now there's abandonment feelings as well. Being beat is a true traumatic event. I believe women who have been raped feel something like that... inadequate, scared, angry for not being protected against unfair odds, ashamed, and withdrawn from what they now see is a hostile, untrustworthy world. You also seem to be internalizing the trauma as fault on your part. People bringing it up and being entertained by it doesn't help either. But remember this.... how someone treats you says much more about them than you. If someone seems to get satisfaction from your situation, chances are they are jealous of your physical appearance, and seemingly controlled and at ease nature that they may not feel inside. They probably see you as better than them, and to see your human vulnerability makes them feel better, as does thinking and talking about it. People compare their inside condition to what they see on the outside of others, but in reality, no one has it totally together. Everyone struggles with something. Right now, your intense feelings and reaction to trauma is one of your struggles. Try to not retaliate against anyone, and realize you'er a good, respected guy anyway, even more so if you can come through this and still feel ok with yourself. Ask your wife what kind of person you are, and believe what she says.

 

[The Wolf]

Thanks Brian that means a lot. And thanks to everyone else including those who gave me constructive criticism.

 

[The Wolf]

I've been off over a year and my wife has had 2 miscarriages and we're still trying. My mouth waters for a shot of test. But bringing a baby into this world is the most important thing right now and I can't take my eyes off the prize. We've even been doing fertility treatments at $450 monthly at no avail. My numbers ate good, she has eggs, sometimes stuff just doesn't go as planned. You should ask yourself, "what was the gift in getting caught by that sucker punch." most likely, there's something you can do better next time. I almost got hit in the head about a year ago by a girl. It broke on my arm when I blocked what I thought was a punch. I had incorrectly classified her as a non combatant since I was about to throw down with her boyfriend. Next time, if the bitch wants to wear the pants she better be willing to put on the gloves. You can't go into something half cocked. When you turn it on, you gotta turn it on and everyone is going down. So don't feel bad, I got sucker punched by a girl. But, there was a lesson in it and it had nothing to do with testosterone. Just being prepared

Are you taking any supplements for your fertility? And how did the miscarriages happen? Was it caused by anomaly?