I feel like a failure

[AllLoadedUp]

Most of the time thats held true for me, it would be one day after a long stretch at work, I would be lazy, dirty, unshaven and disheveled find myself needing to go to the store for something, roll up in say Target and be walking around and some hot girl would walk by and look me up and down with a grin like a cheshire cat and then it would hit me....NOW??
I mean wtf women have some kinda timing.

All the times I would clean myself up be looking presentable and I would get no attention whatsoever.

When women look at me they turn their heads.

 

[pimpman]

All woman come with a price.some you pay over dinner and drinks some you pay in the hotel room.either way you are paying the price.so if you are ugly you better have a big wallet.money can't buy you love or happiness but it sure can buy you a whole lot of pu$$y.and good ones too.that's the truth.

 

[ShortStop]

Damn bro reading that post makes me want to slit my fucking wrists. Your never to old and its never to late. I'd like to think there's a woman out there for everybody
I don't think it has to do with what you look like. I think women are attracted to self confidence and some sense of security. Online dating is where its at now er days
I joined several. What I do is write 20 ta 30 emails all saying the same thing. Hello my name is Ricky I think your beautiful will you chat with me. I know right pretty simple huh. You just want to get your foot in the door and get a girl to talk to you. Don't just look at there pic read there profile. You should be targeting younger single moms because there looking for dads plus that leaves you some room to have some kids of your own. They already been thru a fucked up relationship tired of the little boy drama. So here's where your home and job come into play providing stability. Don't get discouraged if you don't get any write backs from your emails. I've written 100s of emails with no write backs. You just go to your 2nd round pics your 3rd and so on and so on send out 30 more emails eventually your going to get a girl to talk to you. Here's where a lil game helps but seriously not needed. Just be yourself honesty and loyalty is what women want. Just build your relationships as they come. Anyways that's how I did it. I met a girl online 15 years younger than me. I'm 47 just had a baby boy with her last year. This December we will be together 5 years. Its never to late and your never to old

 

[ajdos]

Let me tell you something OP.

Its not all looks, there was a study conducted in the uptown district of Chicago years back.
Researches asked women to rate two different pictures of two men on a scale of 1-10
1 being unattractive and wouldnt go out on a date with him. 10 being OMG yes hes hot.

One guys pic was a good looking mid 20's guy. The other was another guy similar in age, not so good looking with a few extra lbs.

So the obvious happened - the women chose good looking pic with the highest ratings.

So then they added a new twist, they took the same pics and on the back wrote a hypothetical salary for each face.
Good looking guy got 25 k
Chubby boy got 100 k

They then asked the same questions but then informed the people of the salary.
So what do you think happened??
YES.
The women reversed their pics completely- suddenly chubster was a 10 and hipster was a 2.
You have the money part down, your salary aint bad.
Try living on what I make...its pathetic.
Not too mention I dont think you have a criminal record....or have tattoos all over your arms, shoulders and neck.
Now- if my broke ass, with a huge laundry list of convictions, and tatts, and less than stellar looks, AND no MONEY...can have some confidence- SO CAN YOU.
Trust me when I say this, I have known guys who could get women and didnt have a pot to piss in.
You just need to give yourself a chance.

 

[AllLoadedUp]

Let me tell you something OP.

Its not all looks, there was a study conducted in the uptown district of Chicago years back.
Researches asked women to rate two different pictures of two men on a scale of 1-10
1 being unattractive and wouldnt go out on a date with him. 10 being OMG yes hes hot.

One guys pic was a good looking mid 20's guy. The other was another guy similar in age, not so good looking with a few extra lbs.

So the obvious happened - the women chose good looking pic with the highest ratings.

So then they added a new twist, they took the same pics and on the back wrote a hypothetical salary for each face.
Good looking guy got 25 k
Chubby boy got 100 k

They then asked the same questions but then informed the people of the salary.
So what do you think happened??
YES.
The women reversed their pics completely- suddenly chubster was a 10 and hipster was a 2.
You have the money part down, your salary aint bad.
Try living on what I make...its pathetic.
Not too mention I dont think you have a criminal record....or have tattoos all over your arms, shoulders and neck.
Now- if my broke ass, with a huge laundry list of convictions, and tatts, and less than stellar looks, AND no MONEY...can have some confidence- SO CAN YOU.
Trust me when I say this, I have known guys who could get women and didnt have a pot to piss in.
You just need to give yourself a chance.

My income is quite average really. No woman is going to be impressed unless you're pulling in six-figures or more. Just like in the example you mentioned. No I don't have a criminal record. No drug problems. No tattoos. Confidence is not the issue. I have been trying to tell you guys that none of that stuff matters if you are physically unattractive. Do you really think any man or woman looks at the opposite sex and goes "boy he or she sure is unattractive but I want to get to know that person because they have good personality or intelligence or sense of humor". Hell no. And we all know it. And you know brother the fact those guys didn't have pot to piss in actually made them attractive to women. The 2nd best thing a woman loves after money is a man who is a complete fuck up. I'm not a loser. So there is absolutely nothing on me to fix. No "project" for them to boost their self-esteem. Hell even my "ex" said that I was as close to perfect as a man could get. And she then proceeded to lie and cheat on me repeatedly. I told my Mama one day I wish she would have raised me to be a loser. Women would love me then. Sad but true

 

[Deleted member 121863]

The 2nd best thing a woman loves after money is a man who is a complete fuck up. I'm not a loser. So there is absolutely nothing on me to fix. No "project" for them to boost their self-esteem. Hell even my "ex" said that I was as close to perfect as a man could get. And she then proceeded to lie and cheat on me repeatedly.

Maybe your just to damn plain, generic, "good guy". Where is the excitement? Women might want a guy with money, at least some, this equals some stability and certainty to them BUT they also want some adventure, somebody to keep them on their toes, some UNcertainty. Are you lulling woman into a coma of boredom? How much uncertainty did your ex get by cheating? a shit load! Will she get caught, the chase from the other guy, blow him off, hide the whole thing from you, thats some crazy shit (some women like a little more adventure than others)..... you were just plain vanilla good guy, right?

 

[ajdos]

My income is quite average really. No woman is going to be impressed unless you're pulling in six-figures or more. Just like in the example you mentioned. No I don't have a criminal record. No drug problems. No tattoos. Confidence is not the issue. I have been trying to tell you guys that none of that stuff matters if you are physically unattractive. Do you really think any man or woman looks at the opposite sex and goes "boy he or she sure is unattractive but I want to get to know that person because they have good personality or intelligence or sense of humor". Hell no. And we all know it. And you know brother the fact those guys didn't have pot to piss in actually made them attractive to women. The 2nd best thing a woman loves after money is a man who is a complete fuck up. I'm not a loser. So there is absolutely nothing on me to fix. No "project" for them to boost their self-esteem. Hell even my "ex" said that I was as close to perfect as a man could get. And she then proceeded to lie and cheat on me repeatedly. I told my Mama one day I wish she would have raised me to be a loser. Women would love me then. Sad but true

Man its not that important, you know how many hot bitches I know that go out with guys who don't look good?
TONS!
So you don't have 6 or 7 figures, neither do and guess what I don't look good either- but sometimes when I talk to women I just know I got the upper hand and I let my confidence out- women love that shit.
Im telling you I suck at getting women and even I can do it.

 

[M_T Pockets]

Man its not that important, you know how many hot bitches I know that go out with guys who don't look good?
TONS!
So you don't have 6 or 7 figures, neither do and guess what I don't look good either- but sometimes when I talk to women I just know I got the upper hand and I let my confidence out- women love that shit.
Im telling you I suck at getting women and even I can do it.

Im one of those guys lol.

 

[AllLoadedUp]

Maybe your just to damn plain, generic, "good guy". Where is the excitement? Women might want a guy with money, at least some, this equals some stability and certainty to them BUT they also want some adventure, somebody to keep them on their toes, some UNcertainty. Are you lulling woman into a coma of boredom? How much uncertainty did your ex get by cheating? a shit load! Will she get caught, the chase from the other guy, blow him off, hide the whole thing from you, thats some crazy shit (some women like a little more adventure than others)..... you were just plain vanilla good guy, right?

Well the guy she cheated on me with was exciting. He abused her physically and emotionally for seven years. Went back and forth all the time between her and another girl. She just used me as the backup when he would dump her. My stupidity for staying around but live and learn. He always has good-looking women around. But he also has a lot of money. Owns a garage. So chicks can get their cars fixed for free. Well almost. He has a boat at the lake, etc. I think you are right. I am just boring. Because a good man is boring to a woman. Despite the fact that I don't kiss a woman's ass. I think the "ex" knew that I would never ever cheat or lie. And I honestly think women want to believe that a man will possibly cheat on them or dump them. Hence uncertainty. I should have cheated on her. She most likely would have wanted me then.

 

[AllLoadedUp]

Maybe your just to damn plain, generic, "good guy". Where is the excitement? Women might want a guy with money, at least some, this equals some stability and certainty to them BUT they also want some adventure, somebody to keep them on their toes, some UNcertainty. Are you lulling woman into a coma of boredom? How much uncertainty did your ex get by cheating? a shit load! Will she get caught, the chase from the other guy, blow him off, hide the whole thing from you, thats some crazy shit (some women like a little more adventure than others)..... you were just plain vanilla good guy, right?

Oh and he literally looks like a pig in the face. But like I said he has money and lives in a relatively small town. So he stands out just from that

 

[AllLoadedUp]

Damn bro reading that post makes me want to slit my fucking wrists. Your never to old and its never to late. I'd like to think there's a woman out there for everybody
I don't think it has to do with what you look like. I think women are attracted to self confidence and some sense of security. Online dating is where its at now er days
I joined several. What I do is write 20 ta 30 emails all saying the same thing. Hello my name is Ricky I think your beautiful will you chat with me. I know right pretty simple huh. You just want to get your foot in the door and get a girl to talk to you. Don't just look at there pic read there profile. You should be targeting younger single moms because there looking for dads plus that leaves you some room to have some kids of your own. They already been thru a fucked up relationship tired of the little boy drama. So here's where your home and job come into play providing stability. Don't get discouraged if you don't get any write backs from your emails. I've written 100s of emails with no write backs. You just go to your 2nd round pics your 3rd and so on and so on send out 30 more emails eventually your going to get a girl to talk to you. Here's where a lil game helps but seriously not needed. Just be yourself honesty and loyalty is what women want. Just build your relationships as they come. Anyways that's how I did it. I met a girl online 15 years younger than me. I'm 47 just had a baby boy with her last year. This December we will be together 5 years. Its never to late and your never to old

I have pretty much done that. 99.99% of single Moms are fat and out of shape. At least where I live. I don't want to raise someone else's kids either. I would like to meet a woman who has the freedom to travel some and do things. Can't do that with young kids. I have written a profile before saying I have a home, same job for 21 years. Doesn't matter. If women want a stable guy it doesn't seem so. Funny thing is so many women write in their profiles that it seems so many guys on the online dating sites don't have a job and still live with their parents. Then here you pop up a guy who is a total adult and has his shit together and guess what you send them a message and they view your profile and NOTHING. I just shake my head in utter confusion. But then I realize that what a woman says she wants and does in fact want are two different things.

 

[blackrock]

I have pretty much done that. 99.99% of single Moms are fat and out of shape. At least where I live. I don't want to raise someone else's kids either. I would like to meet a woman who has the freedom to travel some and do things. Can't do that with young kids. I have written a profile before saying I have a home, same job for 21 years. Doesn't matter. If women want a stable guy it doesn't seem so. Funny thing is so many women write in their profiles that it seems so many guys on the online dating sites don't have a job and still live with their parents. Then here you pop up a guy who is a total adult and has his shit together and guess what you send them a message and they view your profile and NOTHING. I just shake my head in utter confusion. But then I realize that what a woman says she wants and does in fact want are two different things.

I will give you my advice. Take it for what its worth.

I am assuming you work out since you are on this website. Hire Shelby.

Get on a diet and get ripped. I know your bicep hurt but you can still work out or get ripped. Your arms might be asymettrical and you might not be able to do a lot of the conventional lifts but work out around it.

Then go back on dating sites and hunt for woman. and see what it does.

Think about it, if you see a not so good looking girl who has a killer body, dont you still get turned on by it. I would think its same with guys. Even if a guy is not good looking, but has a good bod he will get attention.


When you are dieting it is going to be hard. You will also be depressed cause you wont be eating "happy foods." but tell yourself how much you hate being where you were and keep going forward dont stop.


You made a lot of excuses in this thread (and maybe they are valid). but I am telling you, this will definitely help you.

 

[Marvin Martian]

I admit I haven't read the entire thread - so if this has been said already I apologize. There is one thing to remember when it comes to beautiful women - I have been blessed (or cursed ) to have always had incredibly beautiful women in my life and I have found this to be true.
No matter how beautiful a woman's face is - no matter how incredible her body is. No matter if she has the most incredible personality or has the sex drive of a goddess. She may have a litany of qualities that blow your mind - but there is SOME man SOME where - that absolutely cannot put up with one more second of her "shit" (whatever that particular "shit" is).. The point is that you don't ever look at a woman wondering whether you are good enough for her. You do not need arrogance and I don't mean that you scrutinize HER either. You look at a woman and ask yourself if her "look" her beauty is such that you could never tire of just looking at her. You have to find the one right for you - you aren't being freaking interviewed any more than she is.
If a woman steps out on you - how the hell can you get jealous?? I would be upset with myself for poor judgment but then looking at her would only disappoint me or disgust me. I don't give a shit about a woman's past - don't ever look weak by letting them think that the number of men she has been with matters!! I can't comprehend that way of thinking. I have been a terrible man-whore for almost a decade on end but I know I am a good man - so why couldn't a woman be the same? Not hacking on jealous guys - my pops just always told me that was a woman's emotion and I guess it stuck. I guarantee you that having that attitude was handy as hell in my late teens and 20's - chicks would always say I was confident and I honestly never understood what they meant - I just knew I was too worried about what I wanted them to do NOW to waste time worrying about what happened before me.
All that being said - I have made WAY MORE bad decisions in life than good - so my advice may be 180 degrees in the wrong direction - lol

 

[AllLoadedUp]

I will give you my advice. Take it for what its worth.

I am assuming you work out since you are on this website. Hire Shelby.

Get on a diet and get ripped. I know your bicep hurt but you can still work out or get ripped. Your arms might be asymettrical and you might not be able to do a lot of the conventional lifts but work out around it.

Then go back on dating sites and hunt for woman. and see what it does.

Think about it, if you see a not so good looking girl who has a killer body, dont you still get turned on by it. I would think its same with guys. Even if a guy is not good looking, but has a good bod he will get attention.


When you are dieting it is going to be hard. You will also be depressed cause you wont be eating "happy foods." but tell yourself how much you hate being where you were and keep going forward dont stop.


You made a lot of excuses in this thread (and maybe they are valid). but I am telling you, this will definitely help you.

The thing I never understand about getting lean is how does a woman really know you are lean unless you are on the beach or put up pictures of yourself on your profile with your shirt off? If you are out somewhere in normal clothes you just look skinny. I honestly think if I could even get lean there wouldn't really be anything left anyway. I have taken a year off from the gym before and gotten down to 230lbs and it made no difference with women whatsoever. I'm really just a smaller version of what I already look like. No real difference in my appearance.

 

[ShortStop]

I have pretty much done that. 99.99% of single Moms are fat and out of shape. At least where I live. I don't want to raise someone else's kids either. I would like to meet a woman who has the freedom to travel some and do things. Can't do that with young kids. I have written a profile before saying I have a home, same job for 21 years. Doesn't matter. If women want a stable guy it doesn't seem so. Funny thing is so many women write in their profiles that it seems so many guys on the online dating sites don't have a job and still live with their parents. Then here you pop up a guy who is a total adult and has his shit together and guess what you send them a message and they view your profile and NOTHING. I just shake my head in utter confusion. But then I realize that what a woman says she wants and does in fact want are two different things.

Change your profile up... Hard working man loves to travel looking for a friends add some likes keep it simple short an sweet.. You have to constantly change your profile up if its not working.. Single moms seems to be the norm now er days.. I have yet to find a female at my age that didn't have a kid.. I like to go younger because the woman my age look like shit. You can still travel with kids. They can be put at grandmas house. Trying to find a single mature woman with no kids is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Unless your a teenager or in your young 20s.. Single moms are not all fat.. That's all I have dated for the last ten years. I've seen a lot of milfs... Pic of my girl single mom.. You don't have to be there daddy they already have a dad.. You said you wanted kids.. There's nothing wrong with dating single moms

 

[little slice]

Change your profile up... Hard working man loves to travel looking for a friends add some likes keep it simple short an sweet.. You have to constantly change your profile up if its not working.. Single moms seems to be the norm now er days.. I have yet to find a female at my age that didn't have a kid.. I like to go younger because the woman my age look like shit. You can still travel with kids. They can be put at grandmas house. Trying to find a single mature woman with no kids is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Unless your a teenager or in your young 20s.. Single moms are not all fat.. That's all I have dated for the last ten years. I've seen a lot of milfs... Pic of my girl single mom.. You don't have to be there daddy they already have a dad.. You said you wanted kids.. There's nothing wrong with dating single moms

bullshit there's nothing wrong with dating single mothers lmao

 

[SqWark!]

I love how you guys think having tattoos is some kinda negative in getting women. LMAO!
Being negative, obese and boring are the main deterrents i see here. All things that are fixable but honestly, you seem like a bit of a know it all. Any advice you've been given you've shot down immediately and explained why that couldn't work. Would you want to date you?

 

[Bio]

Well the guy she cheated on me with was exciting. He abused her physically and emotionally for seven years. Went back and forth all the time between her and another girl. She just used me as the backup when he would dump her. My stupidity for staying around but live and learn. He always has good-looking women around. But he also has a lot of money. Owns a garage. So chicks can get their cars fixed for free. Well almost. He has a boat at the lake, etc. I think you are right. I am just boring. Because a good man is boring to a woman. Despite the fact that I don't kiss a woman's ass. I think the "ex" knew that I would never ever cheat or lie. And I honestly think women want to believe that a man will possibly cheat on them or dump them. Hence uncertainty. I should have cheated on her. She most likely would have wanted me then.

She has a lot of issues. Don't say I should have done this or that to try and keep someone like that. You are better off without her...Consider it one of life's less desirable experiences and think of everything from here on as moving forward. Never try to meet someone...It usually doesn't work out that way. Meeting someone incidentally is the best way (Unless you have found some success with a legitimate online dating site).

Are you a friendly person? Do you make people laugh? Would you consider yourself a people person? These all make a difference in how people may perceive you. Friendly and outgoing people are enjoyable to be around!

 

[AllLoadedUp]

Change your profile up... Hard working man loves to travel looking for a friends add some likes keep it simple short an sweet.. You have to constantly change your profile up if its not working.. Single moms seems to be the norm now er days.. I have yet to find a female at my age that didn't have a kid.. I like to go younger because the woman my age look like shit. You can still travel with kids. They can be put at grandmas house. Trying to find a single mature woman with no kids is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Unless your a teenager or in your young 20s.. Single moms are not all fat.. That's all I have dated for the last ten years. I've seen a lot of milfs... Pic of my girl single mom.. You don't have to be there daddy they already have a dad.. You said you wanted kids.. There's nothing wrong with dating single moms

Wow. That's the perfect looking woman to me. Not too skinny not too fat. Just right. You're a lucky guy. I'm sure that body of yours certainly helped in getting her. Assuming that is you in your profile. Does she have tattoos also? Seems like every man on earth and woman has tattoos nowadays. I have none and I'm not going to get any just because women foam at the mouth over them. I have no issues dating a woman with kids. No man in his 40's is going to meet a woman without kids. Hell you are lucky to meet a girl in her teens without kids these days. Blows my mind. I do not want to have biological children of my own. I am not starting that approaching age 42. Hell no. Its a non-issue anyway. Hard to have kids when you can't even get a date. If I look at 50 profiles on OkCupid I might see 5 women that are attractive and not fat. You do know that the average woman in this country is like a size 13-14. That's wider than my shoulders.

 

[AllLoadedUp]

I love how you guys think having tattoos is some kinda negative in getting women. LMAO!
Being negative, obese and boring are the main deterrents i see here. All things that are fixable but honestly, you seem like a bit of a know it all. Any advice you've been given you've shot down immediately and explained why that couldn't work. Would you want to date you?

I agree on the tattoo thing. Seems like a woman won't even look at you or speak to you if you're not covered in them. Yes I am obese according to the BMI scale and the standards of this site because I am not 10% bodyfat or lower. But I am not fat per se. For the most part I have already tried the advice.