I feel like a failure

[AllLoadedUp]

She has a lot of issues. Don't say I should have done this or that to try and keep someone like that. You are better off without her...Consider it one of life's less desirable experiences and think of everything from here on as moving forward. Never try to meet someone...It usually doesn't work out that way. Meeting someone incidentally is the best way (Unless you have found some success with a legitimate online dating site).

Are you a friendly person? Do you make people laugh? Would you consider yourself a people person? These all make a difference in how people may perceive you. Friendly and outgoing people are enjoyable to be around!

Oh no I am glad she is gone. I would be fine if she hit a tree and died instantly. And the great thing is I say that with no animosity towards her at all. It is simply what she deserves.

I go out of my way to smile and be nice to people. If I don't they are usually just intimidated by me. Making people laugh is easy. Especially women. The older I get the less of a people person I become I feel like. I just don't trust people and feel like most are just full of shit who lie and only care about themselves. I can talk and strike up a conversation with total strangers any time. But mostly I just want to do my thing and be left alone. Just don't care for other peoples bullshit really. Like I have said before the ONLY way I can meet a woman is through online. I work odd hours which means I can't go anywhere at all during the week. And on the weekends the only place to go are bars and clubs. I don't want to go to those places. Women only go to those places to hang out with friends, dance, get attention, and hopefully find some schmuck who will buy them free drinks all night in the hopes he will get laid. I grew up around bars and I worked in them when I was older. I know how women operate in those places and why they go there. It is not to meet a man.

 

[AllLoadedUp]

I love how you guys think having tattoos is some kinda negative in getting women. LMAO!
Being negative, obese and boring are the main deterrents i see here. All things that are fixable but honestly, you seem like a bit of a know it all. Any advice you've been given you've shot down immediately and explained why that couldn't work. Would you want to date you?

Oh and what do you think makes a man "exciting"? I'm curious. You see I think "exciting" to a woman means "drama". And there is zero drama with me. I grew up in it. So I want no part of it. At the end of the day I think most women like the fighting, arguing, and make up sex. Its completely and totally mentally fucked up. But it sure isn't boring.

 

[Deleted member 121863]

Oh and what do you think makes a man "exciting"? I'm curious. You see I think "exciting" to a woman means "drama". And there is zero drama with me. I grew up in it. So I want no part of it. At the end of the day I think most women like the fighting, arguing, and make up sex. Its completely and totally mentally fucked up. But it sure isn't boring.

other names for "exciting" could be, unpredictable (in a good way), come up with surprises, adventures like camping, riding a motorcycle, a spontaneous trip away for 1-2 nights on one day notice. When I met my wife, 3 weeks in I said lets go to san diego for the weekend, she LOVED it! The fact I would drop things and just go, PLUS we had fun and no drama. She came home for valentine`s day last year (any of you guys may steal this), this kids wanted to see her, she wanted to get changed, I followed her into the bed room with a bottle of whipped cream vodka (not my normal drink), threw her on the bed while half undressed and poured ice cold vodka into her belly button and sucked it out. She still gets chills and wet if I bring it up now. It`s the UNEXECPECTED that they crave, although some do love the drama.

loaded up, you have to many "rules" about life and women. This means that, she only wants this, your holding yourself back with this stuff.

 

[AllLoadedUp]

other names for "exciting" could be, unpredictable (in a good way), come up with surprises, adventures like camping, riding a motorcycle, a spontaneous trip away for 1-2 nights on one day notice. When I met my wife, 3 weeks in I said lets go to san diego for the weekend, she LOVED it! The fact I would drop things and just go, PLUS we had fun and no drama. She came home for valentine`s day last year (any of you guys may steal this), this kids wanted to see her, she wanted to get changed, I followed her into the bed room with a bottle of whipped cream vodka (not my normal drink), threw her on the bed while half undressed and poured ice cold vodka into her belly button and sucked it out. She still gets chills and wet if I bring it up now. It`s the UNEXECPECTED that they crave, although some do love the drama.

loaded up, you have to many "rules" about life and women. This means that, she only wants this, your holding yourself back with this stuff.

I am a very black and white person. Most people are "grey". I see that because most people are weak for the most part and don't really want to make a decision or anything. I am very decisive. I can imagine trying that drink thing with my "ex". She would have bitched and complained and told me to go away. Oh and I love to camp, I have a Harley. Plus women with kids cannot do anything on little notice. Unless they are older teenagers. Just saying.

 

[SqWark!]

Oh and what do you think makes a man "exciting"? I'm curious. You see I think "exciting" to a woman means "drama". And there is zero drama with me. I grew up in it. So I want no part of it. At the end of the day I think most women like the fighting, arguing, and make up sex. Its completely and totally mentally fucked up. But it sure isn't boring.

You've got it all figured out dude. I'm just not sure why you're starting these threads. You need a q&a so the rest of us can come ask you how we can better ourselves.

 

[AllLoadedUp]

You've got it all figured out dude. I'm just not sure why you're starting these threads. You need a q&a so the rest of us can come ask you how we can better ourselves.

no I'm just giving my opinion like everyone else. But that doesn't answer the question I asked you.

 

[chgolatin2]

Depression can play a big factor as to how you feel, explore talk therapy, maybe get on some anti depressant if need be, remember that the way that you think can make you depress to the point that you feel like you. I have and at time walk in your shoes, but think about this. You are reaching out so that makes you a strong individual. But you need help, we ALL do we're just afraid to admit it because of ego, stigma, being afraid, etc etc you have many options on the table, you just have to find out what works best for you... I'm 45 yrs myself and I have struggled w many of your issues, but ladies have never been a problem in my life but remember we all have our own demons

 

[conan75]

personally I think you have no people skills...I look like shreck but my last 3 girlfriends were all models...and I live in the south...South Carolina...I moved here 3 years ago and pulled so much ass until I met my girl now...and I never met women in a bar or club...grocery store, gas station, gym...just started a conversation and I would have plans with them the next day or two...

 

[AllLoadedUp]

personally I think you have no people skills...I look like shreck but my last 3 girlfriends were all models...and I live in the south...South Carolina...I moved here 3 years ago and pulled so much ass until I met my girl now...and I never met women in a bar or club...grocery store, gas station, gym...just started a conversation and I would have plans with them the next day or two...

Not sure what you consider people skills. If you mean talking and having conversations that is not a problem at all and never has been. You know its funny. I had a date back in June. The girl asked me what I thought of her so far after talking a couple of hours. So I then asked her the same question. Her response was " I think you're intimidating". I asked her how so. Her response was "because you're so confidant". Ironic isn't it. I thought women love confidence. I guess its intimidating according to her. Can't win for losing.

 

[beastmode121]

There's no such thing as being too ugly bro.
Get a tan, get shredded, hire w coach if you can't do it on your own. Pick a hobby other than lifting, build your confidence; like everyone said confidence is what women pick up most of the time.. I have seen so many ugly dudes with hot women; and I was like wtf? I bet these guys are more confident than anyone.. you can do it, believe in yourself.


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[AllLoadedUp]

There's no such thing as being too ugly bro.
Get a tan, get shredded, hire w coach if you can't do it on your own. Pick a hobby other than lifting, build your confidence; like everyone said confidence is what women pick up most of the time.. I have seen so many ugly dudes with hot women; and I was like wtf? I bet these guys are more confident than anyone.. you can do it, believe in yourself.


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Read my post just above yours. I don't think confidence is my problem. At least not what this woman told me. She is not the first to say that. Its not a confidence thing. I can assure you.

 

[beastmode121]

It's a combination of things bro. confidence is one of them. Again get in shape; it will take you a long way. You'll do serious damage combined with social skills


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[NGL34]

Read my post just above yours. I don't think confidence is my problem. At least not what this woman told me. She is not the first to say that. Its not a confidence thing. I can assure you.

What kinds of women do you try to date on a scale 1-10 in attractiveness? And what would you say you are on this same scale?

keeping all things realistic, you may be confident but what else do you really have to offer? You income is average at best, you claim you look ugly. Are you interesting, exciting or adventurous? Maybe just maybe your standards are too high.

When a women is into you, she is not going to give you some lame excuses in order not to date you, such as your too confident. Its a cop out. Its a gentle way to let you down, without looking like a bitch. If a women wants it, she'll you won't make excuses. She will make it very easy for you.

 

[AllLoadedUp]

What kinds of women do you try to date on a scale 1-10 in attractiveness? And what would you say you are on this same scale?

keeping all things realistic, you may be confident but what else do you really have to offer? You income is average at best, you claim you look ugly. Are you interesting, exciting or adventurous? Maybe just maybe your standards are too high.

When a women is into you, she is not going to give you some lame excuses in order not to date you, such as your too confident. Its a cop out. Its a gentle way to let you down, without looking like a bitch. If a women wants it, she'll you won't make excuses. She will make it very easy for you.

lets see. Rating someone on a scale I find to be totally subjective and useless. Perfect example my brother-in-law and I. He likes skinny women like my sister. I like thicker women with hips and thicker legs and ass. So its really ridiculous to try and rate someone. A 10 to me may very well not be a 10 to you. As far as me on that scale I have no clue. I'm a 10. That make me arrogant. No I'm a 1. That makes me insecure. See my point. I'm 6' tall, 285lbs. I have 19 inch arms roughly, 54 inch chest, 30 inch legs, trapz that look like they are growing into the middle of my head and a 22 inch neck. What that makes my body on a scale of 1-10 to someone else I have no clue. To some I am huge. To me I look like any old average joe blow walking down the street.

I don't remember saying anything about my income being all that great. But 50,000 for a single man in the South that pays for no one other than himself is pretty decent. Am I interesting, exciting, adventurous? Who knows. For some women excitement is going to the bar and getting drunk and smoking a bowl. To others its riding a motorcycle. To others its going bowling, etc. See my point. All these things are so subjective and particular to each individual person. I will pretty much try anything once. Some might say that is adventurous. Others may say that's crazy.

What do I have to offer a woman? Stability, honesty, security, faithfulness, humor, fun and the security of knowing that I will never screw her over. If that's not good enough then to hell with her. I ask myself all the time what do women have to offer me? I don't want kids. I don't want marriage. Really all they can give me is pussy. And that's not much to offer in my opinion. I had a woman interested in me from POF. She is 40, 5' tall, 100lbs, and big 32c fake boobs. Good-looking. BUT she is living with her cousin and her Mom and she cleans houses. First time she called me she was half-drunk. I thought about it quite a bit. I just realized that my time left on this earth is valuable. Unless someone brings to the table the same things that I also bring then I'm not interested. I don't care how hot they are. So a woman has to at least have herself stable and can take care of herself. I don't feel like those are at all unreasonable expectations. I have never asked for more than I can offer also. Nor will I.

The woman I referred to who said I was so confidant must not have been "letting me down nicely". In the parking lot outside I had my hand down her pants. The issue was we lived 1.5 hours from each other and we both knew nothing was ever going to come of it. Simple as that. She must have liked something about me. I got her to tell me about her childhood the first time I met her. Boy was it a doozy. Felt bad for her.

 

[chgolatin2]

Happiness isn't dependent or defined by a mate, partner, relationships, etc. Happiness begins with you FIRST, when you spend time w yourself, love yourself, accept yourself, know and recognize that maybe your own level of thinking affects your own life, then you will be smart enough to adjust, grow and mature from the level of thinking that has gotten you down from the first place. I've dated countless of females, purchased many material things, made a lot of $$$ and at the end all that didn't bring me any happiness. Having a spiritual side also does help and seeking professional help does too. It's hard work to work on your own bs but at the end it's worth it. Success doesn't come overnite but it does come if you work at it.

 

[Jefe]

I've been out the dating pool/celibate for over 3 years now.

Working on my self (mental health issues) before I can deal with someone else.

Just a thought.

 

[HeavyLifting1]

Happiness isn't dependent or defined by a mate, partner, relationships, etc. Happiness begins with you FIRST, when you spend time w yourself, love yourself, accept yourself, know and recognize that maybe your own level of thinking affects your own life, then you will be smart enough to adjust, grow and mature from the level of thinking that has gotten you down from the first place. I've dated countless of females, purchased many material things, made a lot of $$$ and at the end all that didn't bring me any happiness. Having a spiritual side also does help and seeking professional help does too. It's hard work to work on your own bs but at the end it's worth it. Success doesn't come overnite but it does come if you work at it.

Agreed

 

[trenman05]

hey my man I have been single a long while now and kinda like how you want that one special car that you have been dreaming of all your life. its so much sweeter in working your way to save up to get it than to actually have it. the void you feel just like many of us is just temporary position in your life. You will find that special person your looking for at the right time!

 

[trenman05]

with that also being said do not sit around all day in your house in the dark waiting for oportunity to come find you!!! go out and take hold of your life. I know this might sound crazy to alot of you but at one point i was desperate to get a girl, so heres what i did and IT WORKED!! saw a girl at chipotle that was REALLY good looking, walked up to her pulled out my android and said exactly this!!!!


can you put your number in my phone?

that was enough for her to be like huh??? she sized me up thought i was cute and said. OF COURSE! after that i said thank you and told her my name and said ill text ya later!

then i had my heart attack in my car LMFAO!!!!