down time i think was biggest problem.
imagine i dont really have to work more than bout 10 hours a week and make more money than i have in my life.
eventually stayed up later and later drinking more and more, sleeping in later and later til i'd still be passed out when my daughter got home from school!
thats when i said enough was enough.
i still havent gotten back into workout routine. just kinda like being a slave to nothing for now. not even weights. or diet. just been enjoying food and TRUE relaxation.
-F
This is what I am still figuring out about myself as well.
Is it possible to get a point where one is simply living in the moment, free of all distractions, and in that freedom from everything, find contentment and hold onto it? I have yet to find that within myself. I've certainly had periods of time where I was fully content in the moment, but it soon passed and I was back to worrying about the next meal, the next workout... more more more.
One thing I have learned about myself... Once the I start missing gym sessions, I need to take a step back from everything. That is the first red flag that things are not balanced internally and that I need to make changes immediately. Every single time my life has gone completely off the rails, it can all be pinpointed back to when I started slacking in the gym. It is most definitely the "addiction" aspect of my personality. I don't feel completely unless I'm 100% dedicated to the things I'm doing in life. Is that a good thing? I'm not quite sure... It certainly isn't freedom... But for now I'll stick to what I know about myself and if I find another way of living I will come back with details..
Down time when it comes to addiction is a no no. There wasn't down time when we were using. There damn sure better not be down time when staying clean. Down time is the devils time to shine. Ive relapsed enough times to know this.
I couldnt disagree more with you on this.... Down time is the devils time to shine? That phrase sounds catchy and all, and it might be true for a completely distracted soul, but after putting in the time and putting in the effort (hours of practice and clear intention and discipline) I have found the complete opposite to be true. Down time is when you find yourself.
Meditation. I challenge you to give it a real honest shot and come back with the results. It changed my life forever. I now have a peace inside of me that I NEVER IMAGINED was possible. Everything the preacher promised every Sunday (this is coming from a guy who went to church his ENTIRE life) that never came true...
A good meditation app is all anyone needs to get started. I found Sam Hariss' "Waking Up" app far superior to anything else that is out there, and I've used them all...