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I finally did it, i quit drinking!

Oh man. So many factors. Was tired of being worthless. Tired of running from the law. Tired of the fuckery of the streets. Just the endless shit show of the life. I was beat up mentally, physically and spiritually. Didn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. It's a 24/7/365 shit show. Was tired of just merely existing. I wasn't living. Just existing. No one trusted me. No one liked me. No one wanted to be around me. Hell I didn't wanna be around my own damn self. Tired of hurting and robbing people. My conscience was raping me to death. God was pissed at me. Family pissed at me. The list goes on man.
Thank you for your honesty. It shows true introspection and an obvious step in the right direction.

Support and Good Vibes
 
My best friend for 30 years was clean from heroin for a number of years too. His long term gf dumped him in 2015, and he went back to his old ways. Getting high on heroin was the only way he knew to deal with that kind of pain. He died of an overdose that September.

My weakness is alcohol. Things are going well these days, but things don't always go well. A traumatic event like a divorce would be my trigger for another months long bender.
 
down time i think was biggest problem.
imagine i dont really have to work more than bout 10 hours a week and make more money than i have in my life.
eventually stayed up later and later drinking more and more, sleeping in later and later til i'd still be passed out when my daughter got home from school!
thats when i said enough was enough.
i still havent gotten back into workout routine. just kinda like being a slave to nothing for now. not even weights. or diet. just been enjoying food and TRUE relaxation.
-F
 
down time i think was biggest problem.
imagine i dont really have to work more than bout 10 hours a week and make more money than i have in my life.
eventually stayed up later and later drinking more and more, sleeping in later and later til i'd still be passed out when my daughter got home from school!
thats when i said enough was enough.
i still havent gotten back into workout routine. just kinda like being a slave to nothing for now. not even weights. or diet. just been enjoying food and TRUE relaxation.
-F
Honestly I don't see anything wrong with some down time. In the past I would jump straight to bodybuilding from addiction and to me it's kind of like replacing one thing with another
 
It was when someone said to me "you'll never put the needle down. You're too far gone." That made something click. I hit my knees, asked God for help and started putting forth the work and effort. Next thing you know I'm clean a couple days. Then a couple weeks, then a couple months. Then I got a job (same one I still have) then a year clean. Started seeing the rewards. Started being responsible. Then I bought a car, then a house then had two boys.
Congrats on being clean now. I'm not someone that usually comments in these type threads because I am pretty straight edge and can't really relate to addiction and I honestly can't understand how people let it win so I stay out to not sound insensitive, but your words are powerful and motivational. I definitely look forward to reading more about your story and I think you are someone who could actually help others and have that balance of empathy and also "get your shit together" tough love where you could light a fire under almost anyone.

Again congratulations and your posts on this thread definitely stood out to me and are inspirational...best of luck to everyone in overcoming their demons we all have weaknesses respect to anyone who acknowledges and overcomes them.
 
i still havent gotten back into workout routine. just kinda like being a slave to nothing for now. not even weights. or diet. just been enjoying food and TRUE relaxation.
-F
Just don't dig yourself into a hole so deep that you'll regret it later. Dieting sucks. But if you're not doing ANY exercise at all, you might just find a few of those nagging aches/pains will go away.
 

Thanks. I don't think I need AA. I'm doing fine not drinking now. In normal times, I'm fine having a couple beers out at a concert or something too. Not that there have been concerts lately. I have a problem with it in times of emotional trauma, like with my divorce in 2012. The same thing happened in 2017 with a different breakup.

I'm married to my second wife now. Nothing's ever perfect, but we love each other and things are going well. I'd rather not think about what might happen if I lose her someday.
 
Thanks. I don't think I need AA. I'm doing fine not drinking now. In normal times, I'm fine having a couple beers out at a concert or something too. Not that there have been concerts lately. I have a problem with it in times of emotional trauma, like with my divorce in 2012. The same thing happened in 2017 with a different breakup.

I'm married to my second wife now. Nothing's ever perfect, but we love each other and things are going well. I'd rather not think about what might happen if I lose her someday.
No amount of worry will ever prevent or fix a problem.
You seem to be doing well for yourself, and we are still in a pandemic. I believe some credit is due.

Positive Vibes Man
 
down time i think was biggest problem.
imagine i dont really have to work more than bout 10 hours a week and make more money than i have in my life.
eventually stayed up later and later drinking more and more, sleeping in later and later til i'd still be passed out when my daughter got home from school!
thats when i said enough was enough.
i still havent gotten back into workout routine. just kinda like being a slave to nothing for now. not even weights. or diet. just been enjoying food and TRUE relaxation.
-F
Have you considered physical rehab on prior injuries, yoga or even Qigong?
 
down time i think was biggest problem.
imagine i dont really have to work more than bout 10 hours a week and make more money than i have in my life.
eventually stayed up later and later drinking more and more, sleeping in later and later til i'd still be passed out when my daughter got home from school!
thats when i said enough was enough.
i still havent gotten back into workout routine. just kinda like being a slave to nothing for now. not even weights. or diet. just been enjoying food and TRUE relaxation.
-F
This is what I am still figuring out about myself as well.

Is it possible to get a point where one is simply living in the moment, free of all distractions, and in that freedom from everything, find contentment and hold onto it? I have yet to find that within myself. I've certainly had periods of time where I was fully content in the moment, but it soon passed and I was back to worrying about the next meal, the next workout... more more more.

One thing I have learned about myself... Once the I start missing gym sessions, I need to take a step back from everything. That is the first red flag that things are not balanced internally and that I need to make changes immediately. Every single time my life has gone completely off the rails, it can all be pinpointed back to when I started slacking in the gym. It is most definitely the "addiction" aspect of my personality. I don't feel completely unless I'm 100% dedicated to the things I'm doing in life. Is that a good thing? I'm not quite sure... It certainly isn't freedom... But for now I'll stick to what I know about myself and if I find another way of living I will come back with details..
Down time when it comes to addiction is a no no. There wasn't down time when we were using. There damn sure better not be down time when staying clean. Down time is the devils time to shine. Ive relapsed enough times to know this.

I couldnt disagree more with you on this.... Down time is the devils time to shine? That phrase sounds catchy and all, and it might be true for a completely distracted soul, but after putting in the time and putting in the effort (hours of practice and clear intention and discipline) I have found the complete opposite to be true. Down time is when you find yourself.

Meditation. I challenge you to give it a real honest shot and come back with the results. It changed my life forever. I now have a peace inside of me that I NEVER IMAGINED was possible. Everything the preacher promised every Sunday (this is coming from a guy who went to church his ENTIRE life) that never came true...

A good meditation app is all anyone needs to get started. I found Sam Hariss' "Waking Up" app far superior to anything else that is out there, and I've used them all...
 
AA isn't just about drinking. There's a lot you can learn about yourself with with tools AA provides. Not just drinking or drugging. I've actually started back to meetings recently so I could do some 12 step work. Not for the drug problem, but the me problem. Strengthen my spirituality. Strengthen my moral behavior. Making sure that no matter what happens in life, if I take care of my side of the street it'll all work out for me. AA can provide tools for that. This isn't just about a drug problem but a manageability problem. Controlling my actions. Recognizing my defects of character and working on them to be a better person in all of my endeavors. I have the physical part down again. Now it's the spirituality and morality aspects that need work. Continuous work. And I know with the effort I give, the rewards will happen. Basically not pissing God off. Keep that tight you don't lose. See, when you piss God off he hands you off to karma. And as we all know if karma gets involved we're in a tight spot.
I will also chime in and say that life away from addiction is ABSOLUTELY possible WITHOUT AA.

There's lots of good community to be found in AA and lots of accountability, but every single time I went, the cult like feel was just too much for to to want to stick around.
 
I will also chime in and say that life away from addiction is ABSOLUTELY possible WITHOUT AA.

There's lots of good community to be found in AA and lots of accountability, but every single time I went, the cult like feel was just too much for to to want to stick around.

They did absolutely nothing for me, as you say, the cult like following and disengenuity of it all bothered me. Being non religious, I didn't get much out of it. But it absolutely does wonders for some people, you have people with ten plus years who still go to weekly meetings for the community of it all. No one can tell you any best way to handle an addiction, it's a bit of trial and error
 
They did absolutely nothing for me, as you say, the cult like following and disengenuity of it all bothered me. Being non religious, I didn't get much out of it. But it absolutely does wonders for some people, you have people with ten plus years who still go to weekly meetings for the community of it all. No one can tell you any best way to handle an addiction, it's a bit of trial and error
A whole lot of trial and error, no doubt... Stopping was quite the process for me... I didnt get my head wrapped around it all until I learned how to forgive myself for screwing up and just moving forward, and to stop using it as excuse to stay broken in the endless loop of getting high. Its all just a big exercise in trial and error as you pick up the things that work, throw away what doesn't, and no matter what just keep moving forward.
 
Disclaimer:
My goal is to never push my opinion, agenda nor faith on anyone. I do not advocate 12 step nor any dogmatic religion.
For the first time I shared a link to AA zoom meetings without (or so I'd hope) any pressure in the case that it might prove helpful.

Positive Vibes and Hope that we all find what works for us as individuals. May our community hold strong through our honesty and support of one another.
 
Disclaimer:
My goal is to never push my opinion, agenda nor faith on anyone. I do not advocate 12 step nor any dogmatic religion.
For the first time I shared a link to AA zoom meetings without (or so I'd hope) any pressure in the case that it might prove helpful.

Positive Vibes and Hope that we all find what works for us as individuals. May our community hold strong through our honesty and support of one another.
We're all just sharing our experiences I'd hope

And to be clear, I'm not anti AA or anti religion, there are many many many benefits and good things that come from both.
 
For what it's worth, I've even had other atheists and agnostics have a lot of success with meetings like AA. They still got a lot out of it, and I think a lot of it also just depends on what crowd currently attends the meetings you're at.

I'll tell you what, when you really want and need help, when you're at what one of my mentors dubbed 'zero balance', you'll salvage whatever knowledge and ideas you can to better yourself
 
Congrats! Ive been sober for 13 years and I have a life second to none because I stopped drinking!
 

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