Dear way2tense,
Nobody, and I mean nobody, human or animal, deserves to go through this. It is a
terrible disease that seems to know no boundaries.
I feel for you, your family, friends, and loved ones and will think good thoughts for
you often.
But you are a strong person and you have the power in your mind and spirit to keep
positive and grow and learn for this experience as and when you fully recover. You
will be a better, stronger person. And do please not blame yourself, that serves no
useful purpose. Stay in the moment. Not many who endure this like you are doing
comes out unaffected in a positive way.
Your experience, which I have been following, reminds me of something I read last
night by the Italian writer Natalia Ginzburg. (Could easy apply to just about anybody
involved in bodybuilding.):
“First time around, my eyes were opened to something important about who I was at
the moment . . . and later, to who or what I was becoming. But then I lived long
enough to feel a stranger to myself --- no one more surprised than me that I turned
to be who I am."
Be well and stay strong. You will get through this.
alfresco