- Joined
- Mar 16, 2021
- Messages
- 13
Whatsup fellas havent been on a forum in years but figured I would come back.
About six months ago I decided to leave the busy city of los angeles to find a more quality chick that was less superficial and experience the southern life and southern people. After a brief fling with a stripper in dallas ended, I found myself lost and told myself I think it was a sign to hang up the player days and settle down. A few weeks later after my fling with the stripper ended, I decided to step out and was at an outdoor event with my cousin and he points out this beautiful exotic chick checking me out. Fellas this girl was perfection to me. Looks like a hotter version of Gina from scarface. I looked at her, told myself that's the girl I am going to get... I went to take a piss and said a little prayer, told the man in the sky just pull me this one chick one last time and I promise I'll do my best to turn my life around. Sure enough my prayers were answered, I got her number told her to wait for me untill I get back from Miami. We started dating and we fell in love. Not many guys can say they actually got to snag the woman of their dreams My life was surreal. Business was doing well, I had found love, this chick was pushing for a family with me and we had plans to get married. Now obviously I am not some naive dumbass that gets feelings for a 21 year old. I screened her well, was close with her parents they knew what she wanted. I made her prove herself with her actions. Hot 21 year olds dont usually commit they are too busy partying and riding the cock carousel.
Things couldn't get any more perfect until some shit started happening. Things got weird...Out of nowhere I started having some problems in the sack. Now I had abused gear in my early to mid 20's and was self medicating TRT. Came off anti estrogens a while ago and noticed my sex drive dropped. .she came over 3 times and I got soft every time. Started sensing that she was getting sexually frustrated and began popping cialis and viagra left and right. I noticed she became more uptight too. After that things were never the same. This is about 3 weeks before we broke up.
I took her on a trip for valentines day, we are at dinner and I ask her why she drinks so much. She goes on to say it makes her feel good and thats the reason why I am able to bang her better when shes drunk because she is naturally an uptight person. she brings up to me not geting hard the last few times. Told me she spoke to her mom and grandma about it because she didn't know who to talk to. "Are you sure hes attracted to you" they asked her. "Maybe its the red wine he drinks" her mother said. "does he have blood pressure issues?" My ex replied to her "the man is 28 mom he doesnt have blood pressure issues of course he is attracted to me"
Of course as shes telling me this I'm thinking about coming clean with her but I cant...I mean what was I supposed to say "honey you know those needles you found 2 months ago and asked me about steroids and I lied and told you it was vitamin b12? I used to abuse the shit out of anabolics and Im on trt and my estro is fucked up. Come to the doc with me?" LOL looking back she probably would of but I didnt say anything. My ego was too big. I was popping cialis and viagras like crazy before our dates and the anxiety was just making me up tight.
Anyways things seemed like they were turning around when she tells me " listen I brought sexy underwear and your gonna fuck me"
A weight was lifted off me. She still wanted to have sex. I felt like things actually had a shot to get back to normal. Things were great...until she got sick on valentines at dinner and started puking everywhere. Yeah I dropped 3 grand on a valentines day trip with her and we didnt even fuck. she apologized for getting sick I could tell she felt bad.
3 days later after the trip, she gets her hair done and sends me a picture of her. "Does this get you hard". Im thinking to myself shit she is a ride or die she is still in the game. We go out to dinner, we are talking about life. She sees a pregnant chick walk by, "you better want to fuck me when I'm pregnant" She says. We are joking around and I can tell the attraction for eachother was coming back. She comes home gets in the bath, gets out and comes to me but things are just off. The energy between us wasn't the same. She ends up going to bed and we start talking. I start being an asshole to her, she starts saying shes worried if she doesnt satisfy me soon Im going to cheat on her, yet shes sexually frustrated. I tell her no shit your sexually frustrated but I'm here hard ready to go and your not doing shit.
Key note- the chick did tell me that she was raped 4 months prior to us dating. And throughout the relationship, she did tell me that the less I wanted to bang her the more she wanted to bang me. Weird or not, I went along with it and she was comfortable enough to give herself to me. When I began getting worried about losing her, and popping viagra and cialis more I started forcing the sex more and I believe it triggered feelings of trauma from when she was raped. She goes on to tell me she wants to be lovey dovey but she cant. I truly believe that had I dated her before the trauma, she might of been willing to give more effort in the bedroom to get our sex life back to normal.
Anyways fellas.. The chick had issues and was selfish in bed yes but she was a good girl none the less. My massive ego cost me the woman of my dreams. You see I believed that I had to bang the shit out of her in order to get her to not leave me but looking back on it, if I had went full on beta...told her listen come to the doctor lets have him write me a script for viagra until I get my shit balanced out, with me lets get my shit balanced ou...... I truly believe that she would still be here.
if I had come clean with her and told her listen, I love you and I want to work this out with you. I used to use anabolics, the problems in the sack have nothing to do with me not being attracted to you. have a hot 21 year old that wants a family and a life with me. Despite all the women I fucked over, all the fucked up shit in my life I've done, I get the girl of my dreams anyways. And she leaves you because of your problems in the sack. It's funny I was always worried about gear coming back to haunt me in life in the form of a kidney issue liver issue heart etc but never saw this coming. Life is a trip. My health is actually perfect.
I flew down to Miami and hooked up with some different women. Felt myself getting over it until I came back into town and noticed I can't get her out of my head. Unfortunately, everywhere I go I am reminded of her. IF I was in the big city I don't think this would be as hard for me. The fact that she literally took all of her shit out of my apartment and left without ever giving me any closure makes me sick to my stomach sometimes. Didn't ever meet up for cofee...nothing. I just come home to my apartment one day and all her shit is gone.
I'm thinking about dipping out of this small town and heading down to miami where at least I will get away from this shit even though I have 5 months left on this lease. There is a fine line between running from your problems, and knowing when it's time to move on. My heart is telling me it's time to go. I feel like in alot of ways, this taught me alot about myself. I just don't see what staying here is going to do for me. It's bad energy, every coffee shop or restaurant I go to she went to with me at one time. I've been with a shitload of women and have never had anything like this happen to me.
Oh yeah did I mention that I think she was pregnant when she left? And I'll never know for sure either and that is going to haunt me forever. Having a family someday is important to me and when you have used as much shit as I have you get worried if you will be able to have that someday. She was throwing up like crazy the last few days before we broke up and showing all the signs...she thought she was...but if she was she wouldn't tell me because she just doesn't want to be with a guy shes not interested in sexually anymore.
I am trying to keep the faith. Here I clean out try to get healthy with TRT, build up my business, turn my life around and want to start a family, the man in the sky rewards me with giving me the dream life and its literally taken away from me. Not financial problems, not temper problems fellas....simply for problems in the sack. Karma perhaps for all the times I felt 10 feet tall when I would bang the crap out of women until they couldnt walk and cheat on them? Maybe...who knows...I always prided myself on my sexual prowess. Ironic the one girl I flopped with was the one I wanted to settle down with. And I don't think she gives a fuck about me for the record.
.
I don't want any sympathy from anyone here but life is a trip fellas. I'm going to try and bury this, but I think it's time to get the fuck out of here.
About six months ago I decided to leave the busy city of los angeles to find a more quality chick that was less superficial and experience the southern life and southern people. After a brief fling with a stripper in dallas ended, I found myself lost and told myself I think it was a sign to hang up the player days and settle down. A few weeks later after my fling with the stripper ended, I decided to step out and was at an outdoor event with my cousin and he points out this beautiful exotic chick checking me out. Fellas this girl was perfection to me. Looks like a hotter version of Gina from scarface. I looked at her, told myself that's the girl I am going to get... I went to take a piss and said a little prayer, told the man in the sky just pull me this one chick one last time and I promise I'll do my best to turn my life around. Sure enough my prayers were answered, I got her number told her to wait for me untill I get back from Miami. We started dating and we fell in love. Not many guys can say they actually got to snag the woman of their dreams My life was surreal. Business was doing well, I had found love, this chick was pushing for a family with me and we had plans to get married. Now obviously I am not some naive dumbass that gets feelings for a 21 year old. I screened her well, was close with her parents they knew what she wanted. I made her prove herself with her actions. Hot 21 year olds dont usually commit they are too busy partying and riding the cock carousel.
Things couldn't get any more perfect until some shit started happening. Things got weird...Out of nowhere I started having some problems in the sack. Now I had abused gear in my early to mid 20's and was self medicating TRT. Came off anti estrogens a while ago and noticed my sex drive dropped. .she came over 3 times and I got soft every time. Started sensing that she was getting sexually frustrated and began popping cialis and viagra left and right. I noticed she became more uptight too. After that things were never the same. This is about 3 weeks before we broke up.
I took her on a trip for valentines day, we are at dinner and I ask her why she drinks so much. She goes on to say it makes her feel good and thats the reason why I am able to bang her better when shes drunk because she is naturally an uptight person. she brings up to me not geting hard the last few times. Told me she spoke to her mom and grandma about it because she didn't know who to talk to. "Are you sure hes attracted to you" they asked her. "Maybe its the red wine he drinks" her mother said. "does he have blood pressure issues?" My ex replied to her "the man is 28 mom he doesnt have blood pressure issues of course he is attracted to me"
Of course as shes telling me this I'm thinking about coming clean with her but I cant...I mean what was I supposed to say "honey you know those needles you found 2 months ago and asked me about steroids and I lied and told you it was vitamin b12? I used to abuse the shit out of anabolics and Im on trt and my estro is fucked up. Come to the doc with me?" LOL looking back she probably would of but I didnt say anything. My ego was too big. I was popping cialis and viagras like crazy before our dates and the anxiety was just making me up tight.
Anyways things seemed like they were turning around when she tells me " listen I brought sexy underwear and your gonna fuck me"
A weight was lifted off me. She still wanted to have sex. I felt like things actually had a shot to get back to normal. Things were great...until she got sick on valentines at dinner and started puking everywhere. Yeah I dropped 3 grand on a valentines day trip with her and we didnt even fuck. she apologized for getting sick I could tell she felt bad.
3 days later after the trip, she gets her hair done and sends me a picture of her. "Does this get you hard". Im thinking to myself shit she is a ride or die she is still in the game. We go out to dinner, we are talking about life. She sees a pregnant chick walk by, "you better want to fuck me when I'm pregnant" She says. We are joking around and I can tell the attraction for eachother was coming back. She comes home gets in the bath, gets out and comes to me but things are just off. The energy between us wasn't the same. She ends up going to bed and we start talking. I start being an asshole to her, she starts saying shes worried if she doesnt satisfy me soon Im going to cheat on her, yet shes sexually frustrated. I tell her no shit your sexually frustrated but I'm here hard ready to go and your not doing shit.
Key note- the chick did tell me that she was raped 4 months prior to us dating. And throughout the relationship, she did tell me that the less I wanted to bang her the more she wanted to bang me. Weird or not, I went along with it and she was comfortable enough to give herself to me. When I began getting worried about losing her, and popping viagra and cialis more I started forcing the sex more and I believe it triggered feelings of trauma from when she was raped. She goes on to tell me she wants to be lovey dovey but she cant. I truly believe that had I dated her before the trauma, she might of been willing to give more effort in the bedroom to get our sex life back to normal.
Anyways fellas.. The chick had issues and was selfish in bed yes but she was a good girl none the less. My massive ego cost me the woman of my dreams. You see I believed that I had to bang the shit out of her in order to get her to not leave me but looking back on it, if I had went full on beta...told her listen come to the doctor lets have him write me a script for viagra until I get my shit balanced out, with me lets get my shit balanced ou...... I truly believe that she would still be here.
if I had come clean with her and told her listen, I love you and I want to work this out with you. I used to use anabolics, the problems in the sack have nothing to do with me not being attracted to you. have a hot 21 year old that wants a family and a life with me. Despite all the women I fucked over, all the fucked up shit in my life I've done, I get the girl of my dreams anyways. And she leaves you because of your problems in the sack. It's funny I was always worried about gear coming back to haunt me in life in the form of a kidney issue liver issue heart etc but never saw this coming. Life is a trip. My health is actually perfect.
I flew down to Miami and hooked up with some different women. Felt myself getting over it until I came back into town and noticed I can't get her out of my head. Unfortunately, everywhere I go I am reminded of her. IF I was in the big city I don't think this would be as hard for me. The fact that she literally took all of her shit out of my apartment and left without ever giving me any closure makes me sick to my stomach sometimes. Didn't ever meet up for cofee...nothing. I just come home to my apartment one day and all her shit is gone.
I'm thinking about dipping out of this small town and heading down to miami where at least I will get away from this shit even though I have 5 months left on this lease. There is a fine line between running from your problems, and knowing when it's time to move on. My heart is telling me it's time to go. I feel like in alot of ways, this taught me alot about myself. I just don't see what staying here is going to do for me. It's bad energy, every coffee shop or restaurant I go to she went to with me at one time. I've been with a shitload of women and have never had anything like this happen to me.
Oh yeah did I mention that I think she was pregnant when she left? And I'll never know for sure either and that is going to haunt me forever. Having a family someday is important to me and when you have used as much shit as I have you get worried if you will be able to have that someday. She was throwing up like crazy the last few days before we broke up and showing all the signs...she thought she was...but if she was she wouldn't tell me because she just doesn't want to be with a guy shes not interested in sexually anymore.
I am trying to keep the faith. Here I clean out try to get healthy with TRT, build up my business, turn my life around and want to start a family, the man in the sky rewards me with giving me the dream life and its literally taken away from me. Not financial problems, not temper problems fellas....simply for problems in the sack. Karma perhaps for all the times I felt 10 feet tall when I would bang the crap out of women until they couldnt walk and cheat on them? Maybe...who knows...I always prided myself on my sexual prowess. Ironic the one girl I flopped with was the one I wanted to settle down with. And I don't think she gives a fuck about me for the record.
.
I don't want any sympathy from anyone here but life is a trip fellas. I'm going to try and bury this, but I think it's time to get the fuck out of here.