I still remember...

[thebrick]

25 years ago today I lost my little boy Derek. For some reason, this year, its hitting me hard. I guess I will never really get over it. I wonder what he would have been like as a young man. I will never know. I wish I could have traded places with him that day and given him life, but I couldn't. I wish life was fair, but its not. I have accepted that.

 

[pesty4077]

25 years ago today I lost my little boy Derek. For some reason, this year, its hitting me hard. I guess I will never really get over it. I wonder what he would have been like as a young man. I will never know. I wish I could have traded places with him that day and given him life, but I couldn't. I wish life was fair, but its not. I have accepted that.

Brick, my son almost died 4 years ago, I was devasted at the time. He is fine now, but I feel like you, I rather give up my life so he can go on. Your right life is hard and unfair sometimes, but we need to go on so we can give strength to others. I pray that God gives you strength through difficult times, so others will learn through you. God bless Bro.

 

[marooned]

Brick the strength to continue down lifes road is often under recognized and under valued. Accepting not having the choice to trade places doesn't have to be veiwed as a point of weakness and can be veiwed as the strength to accept what's not in your control. To me that's accepting also the pride, love, hurt, loss, value, and every other feeling that comes with those things that are not in my control and feeling those things to the fullest be them good feelings or bad. Feeling those things is living and remembering and carrying those scars with the pride of the reasons you have them.

I always enjoy your posts and support you give here. I am trying to give my support to you today. Be strong in body and stonger in heart friend.

marooned

 

[OuchThatHurts]

I wish you all the blessings in the world Brick. I can't even begin to imagine. You are such a great member here. I love your one-liners and you always get me thinking about something. Feel free to drop me a PM if you need anything.

 

[thebrick]

Thanks for the encouraging word guys. Pesty, Marooned, Ouch, really appreciate it. I am fine. For some reason, it was all on my mind yesterday. I remember every detail on that hot August afternoon. Maybe it was the 25 year mark that brought it back to me. Not sure. But I take peace knowing Derek passed comfortably. I am fine and I have a good life with 2 beautiful children and a woman who loves me.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

Brick the strength to continue down lifes road is often under recognized and under valued. Accepting not having the choice to trade places doesn't have to be veiwed as a point of weakness and can be veiwed as the strength to accept what's not in your control. To me that's accepting also the pride, love, hurt, loss, value, and every other feeling that comes with those things that are not in my control and feeling those things to the fullest be them good feelings or bad. Feeling those things is living and remembering and carrying those scars with the pride of the reasons you have them.

I always enjoy your posts and support you give here. I am trying to give my support to you today. Be strong in body and stonger in heart friend.

marooned

Marooned, if you share with the people around you in your daily life the kind of wisdom you display here in this forum, they are very fortunate people indeed.

 

[MAINEVENT]

Hey brick, sorry to hear about this. I consider you one of my favorite guys on here. Your always positive and encouraging and you have great words of wisdom. I know your posts have helped me figure some things out in life.

My prayers to you and your little boy.

 

[hotttsauce]

So sorry about your loss and that your having a difficult time with it in this post M. I can not imagine how tuff it must be. Stay strong my friend.

 

[oldfella]

Brick, Anninversaries of this nature are common. Many of us have some significant dates for both good memories and tragic events in our lives. I think we all go through the once every so many years the pain relly hits hard. It is all a part of the grieveing and healing. 25 years marks a significant passage of time. I can relate to this experience, not for losing a son, but for my father. Go ahead and grieve my friend, It is wonderful that you share this with us so we can all help carry your burden. This is what family is for. I am so very sorry for the loss you suffer and empathise with you on the trading places. Good and proud people think like this, you are one such person. A loving father, good man and friend to us all. The pain will fade, it will ebb and flow through you, but the memory will remain strong. Head up Brick, we are with you in this time of need.

 

[EVERLAST]

BRICK...

I feel that no one could ever truly known the pain of another person.

Having lived through some stuff that very nearly killed me,
I feel like I can relate the feelings best as walking through the darkest part of forest you've ever been through....
and knowing that there are even darker woods in the forest.

I love my daughter so much and she going to start college on the 18th of August. I can't imagine losing her.

It hurts to even consider the possibilty.

May God be with you in this time of your struggle.
Much respect, Brick.

EVERLAST

 

[mrsoul]

if i remember correctly, you were very kind to me when i spilled my guts on here about losing my twin boys. those who have lost a child know how gut wrenching that pain is. i am so sorry that you live with that. i know that it is probably not a coincidence that i read this post today because three years ago today i lost my secong son Ethan. he lived 25 days, his brother Evan lived 20 days. so your post lets me know i am not alone, and neither are you bro.

 

[thebrick]

Thank you for all your nice words guys. Main, Hott, Oldfella, Everlast, Mrsoul. You are what make this a great group here. You really do.

Mrsoul, I do remember that we talked. Derek was about 1 1/2 when he passed. I do understand your pain as a parent. You lost two boys. I am so sorry. I will say, you never forget. It forever changes you.

 

[michelin]

My thoughts are with you Brick, I've known loss of loved ones but cant imagine anything happening to my 2 daughters. My heart goes out to you bro.

 

[muscledoc1]

I HAVE NO WORDS TO EXPRESS ENOUGH SORROW.I AM VERY SORRY TO HEAR THAT,AS I WORK WITH KIDS AT A HOSPITAL-AND SEEN THEIR PARENTS AT HARD TIMES.

 

[PHIL HERNON]

wow

I dont know what to say other than I hope you find a place in your heart where.........you find comfort and peace.........and can visit there often while remembering Derek

 

[aeliop]

In a small way I can relate.

Brick and mrsoul in a small fraction of a way I can relate. This past Saturday the 9th of August was my twin sons 13 year birthday. Everybody's birthday is special but I guess in my heart of hearts I treat their birthday a little more special. My boys were born 3 months premature. My son Adonis was 1LB 14OZ and his brother Hercules was 2LB 4OZ. From the beginning they were given little chance for survival. There were many touch and go days through the first part of their 3 month hospitalization but by a miracle they survived. I am very close with my sons and we do alot of stuff together and not a day doesn't go by that I don't think of the tragic way things could have turned. So I feel and cry for both of you from the bottom of my heart when you wonder how things would have turned out. Myself and my family were very fortunate and thanks to you and others like you I won't let myself forget that.

if i remember correctly, you were very kind to me when i spilled my guts on here about losing my twin boys. those who have lost a child know how gut wrenching that pain is. i am so sorry that you live with that. i know that it is probably not a coincidence that i read this post today because three years ago today i lost my secong son Ethan. he lived 25 days, his brother Evan lived 20 days. so your post lets me know i am not alone, and neither are you bro.

 

[NuTsOe]

BRICK I AM SORRY REAL SORRY TO HEAR THAT BRO...NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW HOW YOU FEEL UNLESS THEY WENT THROUGH THE SAME...

 

[JETHRO TULL]

Brick, my heart goes out to you.

You are a good guy on here. Thanks for your constant support. You are one of the guys on here that emailed me to make sure everything was okay with me this summer. I appreciate that. You are in my prayers, my friend.

 

[lucian]

Mr. Brick....

Brick,
I lost my brother 6 years ago. drunk driving accident. well the whole thing is still so vivid. i even remember the wake when i put my football jersy with him to be burried. his face was scratched from hitting the telephone poll. i was a paul bearer. he had been drinking the night before and his friend decided to drive and lost control. he died his buddy lived.
there are times when i am so mad at him, his friend, god, the world. then times i am sad, usualy when i am alone and just break down. ......well its best im alone then. honestly i dont ever expect to be over it. accept it yes, but never over it. and thats ok. i have a different look at life and know he would want me to miss him but go on.
i have no advice for you. everyone needs to find their own way. this is the main thing i have learned. but just know you are not alone. many people are adjusting day to day from loved ones deaths. every year, the end of june my family gets strange. july 1st is the date. and it haunts us till this day. but we make peace with it every year and go on. if there is anything i can do please pm me and i will give you my number.
its ok to miss him and be sad. it part of human nature.
god bless
lucian

 

[morepain]

Brick, my heart goes out to you as does my respect, i can only imagine how hard those early days and years were to get through, you show the strength of the human spirit, God bless you and yours