i think i fucked myself up for good

[Smith70592]

thank you man, yea i dont think somebody could understand without knowing the feeling. this is update.
last night was the 2nd worst night of my life. it was one week from my previous disaster and the ENTIRE DAY i was stuck in dejavu. My morning clients both NO-showed me as they did the previous friday. at class the professor asked me to leave early due to me being unsettling to the rest of the class . at 9:00 ish my GF got a call and her mom needed to go to the FUCKING ER!!!! i SPENT A SECOND FRIDAY IN THE SAME ER!!! they had the same TV show on, i even saw some of the same people. i tripped so hard in that ER and i had to literally re-live it again, i starting taking more of the med i was given with NO AVAIL, ended up taking two too many and passing out shortly after getting home.. my GF would not let me leave when i wanted to, just like last time, making things MUCH worse. she does not know the circumstances surrounding my situation and was ignorant of the fact that me being there last night was a terrible idea, i have developed a deep hatred for her that she could never understand. there were people with fucking pneumonia coughing on me and i flipped the fuck out and left. i feel as though i am stuck in another place, possibly hell, seeing as i have died. nothing has returned to normal since last night, i had to call out of work today because i could not see for almost 2 hours after waking up. i now have complete detachment from myself and people around me. im sitting here typing yet can barely see the computer screen as it is coming at me in waves. around the monitor has gone bright red/purple as have all things i do not directly focus on.

Hope this helps you in even the smallest of way to deal with your experence.

People who get short-term psychosis is they come in contact with information about themselves that they had previously not noticed or accepted. Then, whereas the proper thing to do in this situation is to accept it and float downstream, these individuals usually try to repress or bury the information and that's when it turns into quicksand. A small glitch in the experience, for an extremely mentally sensitive person, could produce weeks or months of psychosis until either the issue being repressed is addressed and brought to the fore or the effects of the drug are gone long enough for the person to successfully repress the information and go on.


Generally, LSD does not enduce insanity, but it is a damn good conductor for it. The bottom line is the people at the most risk will, by definition, never know they're at risk. Period. Everyone who puts LSD in their mouth the first time is taking a huge risk. The only thing that a person can do is be prepared for anything, go with the flow.


The thing with strong hallucinogens is this: when you think, while on drugs or not, your brain is constantly rewiring itself to accomplish the necessary matrix network configuration to make the thought process and retention of memory possible. As the most efficient configuration is realized, the strength or weight of active connections is strengthened or weakened based on the continuation of actuating stimuli.

The best way to find out whether or not the psychosis is long-term is to talk with the individual. If they seem more "troubled" than "psychotic" then I'd say they're just trying to work through a difficult experience

 

[weight]

did 2 diff kinds a couple years ago and the one was light trip , the other was the real deal, but you got bad stuff, poisonous rather, id get ahould of the dealer and talk, might be intentional ? i got ripped on bunk x and got rid of them while back knowing there were bunk, to get rid of em and cover the loss, saying the person who sold prob new and so on, unless it was just your personal reaction, but i dought it, sorry to hear that, and makes me understand again to not trust lab based drugs, like x and acid, pcp, could be anything

 

[PsyT]

You need to go see a doctor, possibly a neurologist, not an internet bodybuilding forum.

As a side note, I have zero ability to comprehend why someone would want to even try something that destroys brain cells on contact. You may very well be fucked up for the rest of your life, all for what; A Friday night trip?

LSD is not neurotoxic. Get your facts straight before posting.

 

[PsyT]

Asteelz, what you're experiencing is the perspective shift LSD gives you. It reveals subconscious fears and desires and terror within you. Its hard and difficult but if you can talk it out with somebody you trust (therapist or friend) then you will get through this. The worst thing you can do is bottle it up inside of you.

It is imperative the weeks after a hallucinogenic trip to affirm the aspects of life that you believe in...this can be greatly beneficial to most people...the days after a good LSD trip the world is a brighter place...and this can filter through the rest of your life...

however if you let your mind dwell on darkness then you will become into a funk that is hard to get out of...you must enter the light my friend...

take care and love yourself

 

[pesty4077]

LSD is not neurotoxic. Get your facts straight before posting.

FACT: LSD effects your nerve cells called neurons and the chemical messenger neurotransmittors. They are disrupted by this chemical LSD.

 

[PsyT]

FACT: LSD effects your nerve cells called neurons and the chemical messenger neurotransmittors. They are disrupted by this chemical LSD.

change 'disrupted' to modulated and I agree with you. LSD is a neurotransmitter (exogenous). It has a wide ranging affinity to many receptor types in the mammalian brain: 5HT2a/c serotonin receptors and dopamine receptors as well as nor-epinephrine receptors. The primary area that it modulates is prefrontal cortex (activation of which is correlated with reasoning and problem-solving). Prefrontal cortex has massive feedback loops to other cortical areas (auditory, somatosensory, and visual). This is why it is not uncommon to experience visual, sensual, and auditory hallucinations while on LSD.

It is completely non-toxic to mammals and has a half-life of a few hours. It is almost completely out of the central nervous system in about 14-18 hours after ingestion.

Those with a predisposition to mental illness will not do well with intense LSD trips. It has been known to precipitate full blown psychosis such as schizophrenia in predisposed individuals.

People without latent mental illness will generally benefit from LSD trips with the right set (mindset) and setting (environment), however, anybody can experience very dark and troubling 'content' to their trip...often as a result of repressed/subconscious fears they have been harboring. This in and of itself can be quite scary, but is often weeks or months later recognized as beneficial to have worked through.

That is the reason I stress that anybody with a troubling trip seek a trusted friend or therapist to discuss issues with. The WORST thing you can do is NOT TALK about what is on your mind...be it from a scary trip or just simply life itself.

If you want to know my personal recommendation, it is to not experiment with LSD unless you are in a very very good place with your life and you have a very safe and secure and positive environment. Even then you should keep your dosage low and make sure your drug is positively LSD (you can buy test kits for very cheap, the reagent you want for testing LSD is Ehrlich's reagent)...

It is my opinion that a person can tap just as deep into reality with meditation or immersion in wilderness (alone ideally) as he/she can with psychedelics.

good vibes to you Asteelz

 

[asteelz]

It is my opinion that a person can tap just as deep into reality with meditation or immersion in wilderness (alone ideally) as he/she can with psychedelics.

i agree, i have been able to meditate to the same place at any point in time since last week, going to see a second doctor on Wednesday. effects are still rather obvious but now mostly visual, vision seems to have been altered more than i had previously thought. sex drive has been non-existant and my desire to be intimate with my girlfriend has also vanished, i believe i am deep down very angry with her for the 2 episodes in which i was stuck in the ER and she had the power to end it yet would not even with me screaming at her to take me home.

 

[PsyT]

it sounds like you are healing my friend...and also realizing things about your life that were troubling you without you knowing it.

This is what using psychedelics is ALL about. Its not the pretty colors or weird thoughts...its these realizations.

By all means go to a professional...but be very careful at the doctor/psychiatrist. They tend to see these problems very black/white and will put you on an anti-psychotic very fast if you show ANY signs of instability. What they don't realize (or forget to realize) is that a person MUST by unstable during certain periods of his/her life to get to tranquility.

My recommendation is a therapist possibly one that has experience with psychedelics (not addiction but experience with the state of mind). Psychiatrist is bound to prescribe you an anti-psychotic or a benzo which will just drag you down. Those drugs should only be used if its ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL for keeping your shit together. Otherwise you should stay clean.

I hope you keep thinking/talking this through friend. You'll make it through alright especially if your side effects are already subsiding.

Don't slack off though thinking and finding out what is in your heart.

 

[pesty4077]

it sounds like you are healing my friend...and also realizing things about your life that were troubling you without you knowing it.

This is what using psychedelics is ALL about. Its not the pretty colors or weird thoughts...its these realizations.

By all means go to a professional...but be very careful at the doctor/psychiatrist. They tend to see these problems very black/white and will put you on an anti-psychotic very fast if you show ANY signs of instability. What they don't realize (or forget to realize) is that a person MUST by unstable during certain periods of his/her life to get to tranquility.

My recommendation is a therapist possibly one that has experience with psychedelics (not addiction but experience with the state of mind). Psychiatrist is bound to prescribe you an anti-psychotic or a benzo which will just drag you down. Those drugs should only be used if its ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL for keeping your shit together. Otherwise you should stay clean.

I hope you keep thinking/talking this through friend. You'll make it through alright especially if your side effects are already subsiding.

Don't slack off though thinking and finding out what is in your heart.

Probally a Drug and Substance Abuse Counsler (some of them went through the same things) Someone who has actual experience with this.

 

[asteelz]

agreed pesty and Psyt., last doc gave me a temp script for benzo's which have done nothing but make me a zombie and depressed. psychologist im going to see Tuesday is in his 60's and said he has had a lot of experience with psychedelics and their effects on the mind/psyche.

 

[PsyT]

Probally a Drug and Substance Abuse Counsler (some of them went through the same things) Someone who has actual experience with this.

As long as he doesn't get a therapist for ADDICTION...then he would be alright. He has not abused the drug as far as I see. He used it once and had a traumatic experience and now needs to talk it out. He is liable to get in with a shitty therapist and they start talking about a drug addiction he doesn't even have. Not all therapists are created equal.

I would honestly much rather see him use a therapist that incorporates psychedelics into therapy...not so that he can trip again...but this type of person would be much better at understanding his situation.

Asteelz if you'd like to find out more about this contact the people at MAPS (multidisciplinary association for psychedelic studies). They can hook you up with a therapist that is involved with these exact issues.

 

[PsyT]

agreed pesty and Psyt., last doc gave me a temp script for benzo's which have done nothing but make me a zombie and depressed. psychologist im going to see Tuesday is in his 60's and said he has had a lot of experience with psychedelics and their effects on the mind/psyche.

sounds good! Keep us posted on your progress...it sounds like you are already healing though which is a great sign.

 

[pesty4077]

As long as he doesn't get a therapist for ADDICTION...then he would be alright. He has not abused the drug as far as I see. He used it once and had a traumatic experience and now needs to talk it out. He is liable to get in with a shitty therapist and they start talking about a drug addiction he doesn't even have. Not all therapists are created equal.

I would honestly much rather see him use a therapist that incorporates psychedelics into therapy...not so that he can trip again...but this type of person would be much better at understanding his situation.

Asteelz if you'd like to find out more about this contact the people at MAPS (multidisciplinary association for psychedelic studies). They can hook you up with a therapist that is involved with these exact issues.

For the most part LSD is not addicting. He needs someone who experience the same thing, so they have an understanding. Alot of these counslers that get hired have. His problem is fear of re-living the experience and anxiety. He will heal with time and staying away from the problem that created it.

 

[asteelz]

to b completely honest i think it is very addicting, i wont get into details but i have several friends who tried it before me who changed completely and now use this drug as much as they can get their hands on. i only used it once, and even with my horrific experience in the back of my mind i am already justifying using it again, which i will force myself to decline. i am going to try to get in contact with MAPS as i feel that would be an appropriate route to go. visual effects have returned full blown, i had about 14 hours of no colors or severe distortion of my vision yet that has returned as of 1:00 this afternoon. thanks for the help guys, i have no one else to talk to. my friends have all became addicted to this drug and have lost their way completely, they no longer associate with me because i do not want to trip every day. my gym friends would not understand and my GF thinks marijuana is deadly.

 

[RONJON]

Dude Please go get some help bro..like Kaiser said take this to a doctor! Man wish you the best sounds like you are goin through some REALLY bad stuff

 

[Tyrone]

I agree with most of the rest...However, the thread is locked because it usually leads to more rec. drug discussion.