Please read this article, and if you still think your flirting is innocent, please email me immediately and let me set you up with some links, and books to read. Infidelity is the cruelest form of abuse, and it destroys everything it touches.
I believe that finding out your husband or wife, your
best friend, your mate, your lover, the mother/father
of your children, the person you share your hopes,
dreams, and future with, and the person you want to
hold you when you die, CREATES a MASSIVE undersea
earthquake when they decide to be unfaithful and to
emotionally and physically join themselves to another
person. The result is a TSUNAMI! This TSUNAMI is
traveling 500 mph under water toward the betrayed
spouse...who may have felt some tremors or even a
quake, but who has NO IDEA of the WAVE OF DESTRUCTION
SPEEDING IN THEIR DIRECTION! The betrayed spouse is
standing on the shoreline going about their business
when strange sounds and a flurry of activity suddenly
catch their attention. BUT IT IS TOO LATE!
The TSUNAMI is sweeping its weight and power to shore
and the betrayed spouse is caught COMPLETELY off
guard. AT first one stands there, just for a moment,
in complete disbelief. "This can't be happening." It's
not a yell or scream...it's a statement of disconnect.
But, then, the wave is DEFINITELY coming, and in an
instant the betrayed spouse starts to run like hell!
It dawns on them that this is about survival. They
simultaneously run and look for ANY kind of shelter.
But, there is NONE to be found. As the betrayed spouse
runs, they look over their shoulder and watch
hopelessly and helplessly as the wave closes in. It is
not just the wall of power coming at you. It's the
knowledge that you CANNOT do anything about this
catastrophy that is about to overtake you. And it is
the horror that you were left so unprepared...so
vulnerable...if ONLY a warning system would have been
sounded. Why didn't I have any WARNING? "I could have
run inland. I could have taken shelter. I could have
protected my family and my most precious belongings."
And, unfortunately, the wayward spouse, the one who
not only caused the earthquake and Tsunami, CHOSE NOT
TO WARN! They decided to keep this information tucked
away for another day. However, TSUNAMI'S don't wait
for better days. They blast forward with all of their
power and might and don't stop their destruction until
every ounce of energy is spent. It is an energy spent
against the betrayed spouse.
Many betrayed spouses never stood a chance. The wave
overtook them and they are simply listed as unknown
fatalities. Others are so permanently injured they
will never be the same. "What happened to so and so? I
don't know for sure. I heard she moved away...I heard
he has a problem with alcohol now." And, yet, others
some how managed to make it into a hotel or other
structure that offered JUST enough protection that
life was sustained. As they watch the spent energy of
the wave stop...there is STILLNESS. There is a VERY
CREEPY and HORRIFYING QUIET that lasts just for a
moment. Because NOW the final push of destruction is
about to begin.
Now the wave is starting to move backwards. Instead of
pushing and plowing over everything in it's path...now
it is PULLING and SUCKING EVERYTHING in its wake back
into the sea. There is NOTHING that can be done but to
watch. The betrayed spouse WATCHES as their home,
their most treasured belongings, their family, their
hopes, and their dreams are RIPPED apart and dragged
out with such force that it seems like nothing is
left. It only takes a few minutes...and life is
changed forever!
The betrayed spouse can't hardly believe they are
alive. And, now, standing in this water-logged, muddy
pile of debris, there is nothing left to resemble the
previous life that seemed to exist so soundly just one
half hour ago.
The betrayed spouse stands there in true honest to
goodness disbelief. "If there was EVER something I
couldn't believe...this is it." The betrayed spouse
doesn't even know where to start. There is numbness.
It is a novocaine numbness that permeates the whole
body. But, as the scene of chaos stands VERY REAL
before them, feelings return. Feelings so intense and
strong from this NEW reality...that it seems crying is
the ONLY thing that can be done. In fact, crying is
too soft. It is SOBBING...the kind of gut wrenching
sobbing that that makes others hurt and turn away. It
is a sobbing born from loss one NEVER expected or
NEVER deserved. In fact, as more information comes to
light...it is a sobbing born from a pain that can only
come from those that one loved and trusted with their
very life. It is the pain Jesus felt when Judas
betrayed him with a kiss.
As the betrayed spouse falls to the ground, too tired,
too hurt, too cold, too destroyed, to stand
further...there is a simple but profound knowledge
that life will be forever changed. No matter what
happens. Life will be DIFFERENT from now on.
Sometimes it starts with stupid and fogged out wayward
spouses driving up to the betrayed spouse in their 4
wheel drive SUV, decked out in nice clothes, and cell
phone in hand, hollering something like:"Are you
okay?" The betrayed spouse is laying there barely
alive and thinking: "Sure...I almost always have my
life COMPLETELY SHATTERED AND SHREDDED BEFORE MY VERY
EYES. But, thanks for asking." Other wayward spouses
have been heard to say things like: "You see this? YOU
did this!" or "Knock it off and get your act
together!" or "I'll be back to go through the mud and
take what's mine...you can count on that." On occasion
they look at the destruction and state:"I'm
sorry...but excuse me...I need to take this call from
my other person now. See ya!" And, even more rare, is
the wayward spouse who so allows themselves to
contemplate the pain before them that they weep. They
realize THEY caused the earthquake. They realize THEY
caused the TSUNAMI...and they crawl into the mud and
hold their spouse...and they cry together. Thank You
to the wayward spouses who do not feel sorry for what
they did...but for FEELING the PAIN of what they
CAUSED.
Eventually, clean up crews arrive and start to offer
support. It just seems like too little too late. These
friends, family, counselors, support groups, etc.,
really are part of the clean up crew. But, the
betrayed spouse can't help but wish that someone,
anyone, especially the wayward spouse would have just
sounded that DAMN WARNING SYSTEM BEFORE this happened!
Would it REALLY have been that much trouble to be
spared this tragedy? But asking questions like this
does not heal the reality before them...so they dig
around in the mud and look for ways to rebuild. And
low and behold, there are some things worth keeping.
Not many, but some. There are the kids who need a
strong parent and a HOME to live in. There are sunsets
to enjoy and family members to hug you. There are
friends that will still harass you and make you laugh.
And YOU ARE ALIVE!
And in time...the betrayed spouse can heal from a
place of being alive...to a place where they are
LIVING again. A place to EMBRACE and ENJOY life...But
DAMN!!! It sure takes time!