I'll never consume dairy again! most humiliating date ever

[JustWannaBeHuge]

OK, I'm lactose intolerant, but if I take "lactaid" it seems to be fine, or at least not as bad, as long as I don't take in to much dairy anyway.

i always carry the lactaid pills around with me just in case i decide to get a burger really quick or a quick slice of pizza. so its my 3rd date with this girl, we seem to be hitting it off and the plans were to go and get dinner, then go see Lucky # SLeven. now the other two dates I went on, i always got chicken, either two orders of wings, or strips...anything without cheese, so i ordered chicken again, and she's like, "hey get something different tonight, both other dates you got chicken" so i go "okay" i got what she recommended and it had a nice amount of cheese, but hey i got my lactaid, i'll be fine.

so after dinner, she orders desert, which is a nice sized ice cream sunday, so since she's "watching" her weight and eats maybe two or three spoons of it, and since I hate to see money wasted, i eat it all, of course I take more lactaid, now the entire time, something is telling me to not eat this, like "dude, wtf are you doing? stop this insane shit stop eating dairy now before its to late" but i go ahead and finish it up.

so we're driving to the movies, about 20 minutes from where we ate, i'm talking then BAM, it felt like someone swung a bat into my belly.... it's raining outside, but i need fresh air, and I'm starting to get soooooooo bloated. i have to shit so bad and my stomach is cramping, and i'm in such pain it feels like i'm about to throw up.

we're about 10 minutes away from the theater,and on an interstate and I have no where to go, if it was just me in the car, i swear i would have just pulled over and took a dump on the side of the road because i was in such bad pain, i was starting to feel dizzy. Im feeling like I'm about to burst, and i start "slipping" out gas, she was talking for a minute, but then even with my window down, it started to smell a bit foul, so she winds down her window and I'm apologizing like crazy, trying to make a joke out of it, and she's just saying how it's okay, don't worry blah blah blah.

so we finally get to the mall, but its harder then hell to find a spot, so i fly over to mcdonalds because i feel like i'm about to shit my pants, i park and tell her i'll be right back, so i run into McD's and i close the stall door, but the f'ing door is broken and the shit won't lock, but i don't care about that at this point, i drop my pants and do my business, when i'm taking a dump a black guy walks in and is like "damn lock the door man" and I'm pissed off and say "the f'ing shit's broke, get the f' out".

after i'm done in the bathroom, i go back to the car and she's asking me if i feel better , after that I am feeling a bit better, so i say, lets go over to the movies now, so we're heading over... then BAM, it hit me again, i realize it wasn't all out and its about to come out NOW, so i fly up in front of the entrance to the mall, and I tell her "please be careful with my car, it's just a few months old" and she's like "you want me to drive your car?" i'm already out the door walking into the mall and i yell back to her just to park it somewhere... so i just about run to the bathroom, so after i get there, it was like nothing but pure water coming out, and i was cramping up and everything, this time i realize i better make sure that its all out, so I'm sitting there for another 10 minutes or so . i finally realize i'm done and when i go out, i call her cell and she tells me where she parked... so i go to the car and she's like "maybe you should just take me home now, it's late and we missed the showing, you're not feeling good and all..."

so i take her home and on the way there, i'm apologizing about the evening, and she's saying how she's sorry for pushing me to try something different and feeling like it's her felt i got sick... so i get to her house and she says "well maybe we can go out again soon" she gives me a quick kiss and just about bolts into her house lol. so i wonder if i'll see her again or not.


what did i learn this evening? well several things, 1. always listen to that voice in your head that says, "don't try that stupid, you're lactose intolerant" 2. Never try new foods when out on a date with someone ya just starting dating.... and 3. if you use a public bathroom, make sure the lock works...

i'm sure there's more to the story, but i feel like i need to go potty again, so good night to all and whoever wants the ice cream i have in the fridge, they can have it lol.

JW

 

[Got Juice]

hey bro if you were a gentlemen to her all night and you were just feeling sick as fuck because of the foods she will come around if she's a decent girl..

my and my girl were together for about 3 weeks when she came over to my place we were getting ready for dinner, then bam the same thing happened to her.. i ended up having to take her to the hospital while she was shitting and vomiting all over the place..lol about 2 weeks later i was doing the same thing because i was sick...

have a good one man,

 

[HELLA SWOLE]

Yea dude, if she doesn't want to go on another date or doesnt like you b/c you got sick, then F8ck her. I doubt that will happen though as long as you were a good guy with her and everything.

I must say though, I was laughing my ass off reading this story!! LMFAO!! Sorry to her it though

 

[thebrick]

You have to laugh about it. Don't be too hard on yourself. If she likes you she will understand and overlook it, if she doesn't, you found out early you were wasting your time.

 

[JustWannaBeHuge]

hehe yea i'm not being to hard on myself and me and my brother got a good laugh out of it when it was all said and done, and me and her will most likely talk later today, but man, when it was happening, i just wanted to stick my head in the sand lol. i was moer terrified of messing my pants and having my car smell like ass lol


jw

 

[TooPowerful4u]

You have to laugh about it. Don't be too hard on yourself. If she likes you she will understand and overlook it, if she doesn't, you found out early you were wasting your time.

Very true. If she likes u thats not gona hurt nothin, if she doesnt well thats her excuse to get out. Either way... dont sweat it.

 

[BitsOBrawn]

Damn bro that sucks! But fuck her if she won't see you again because of that. What does she never get sick?

 

[vitor]

been there done that, it sucks, almost seems like a Greg valinto story, his ass is always on fire./


WOMEN, FUCK THEM, or FUCK EM

 

[Kahn]

Lats has story time competition. The first thing I noticed was she was trying to change you. What the hell is with 'you ate that last time, eat something different'? If you go out with her again, watch that shit. Yeah, that little voice is worth listening to but I say do it again and shit your heart out stopping every four blocks and make her wait at the door and listen. Classy fucker ain't I?

 

[FRKNHUGE]

had a 3 year relationship that that happened on the first date man, lol
ate pizza and cheez stix and went to her house and BOOM, total anal fallout.
funniest thing was, it was later 11 or so, and i used the downstairs bathroom right, well it vented above her parents window, summer night, no breeze, open window, u get my drift?? they apparently did lol

 

[Adrenaline Rush]

i hate to laugh at someone else's misfortune, but this thread gave me a good laugh reminds of that movie "Along came Polly"
you seem to have a great attitude about it, no worries , if shes for you then she wont be bothered by it

 

[tattoojr]

LMAO, lucky you could hold it. your car wouldn't have seen the same. J.R.