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In a rut... need motivation

RetiredArmy0513

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These past few weeks have really been horrible for me. Being stuck in the hospital last week and Friday was the anniversary of my daughter dying in childbirth I can't seem to find any motivation. I've worked out twice in 2 weeks and my mood has been a bit off. It has been six years since she passed away but I never really grieved properly before as I was still recovering from my injuries after I got back from my deployment. I've come such a long way and now I feel I've ruined it these past few weeks. Any suggestions besides just getting over it... tried that... it's not that easy. Going to try to hit the gym tomorrow but I just seemed to have lost my drive these past few weeks


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These past few weeks have really been horrible for me. Being stuck in the hospital last week and Friday was the anniversary of my daughter dying in childbirth I can't seem to find any motivation. I've worked out twice in 2 weeks and my mood has been a bit off. It has been six years since she passed away but I never really grieved properly before as I was still recovering from my injuries after I got back from my deployment. I've come such a long way and now I feel I've ruined it these past few weeks. Any suggestions besides just getting over it... tried that... it's not that easy. Going to try to hit the gym tomorrow but I just seemed to have lost my drive these past few weeks


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Sorry to hear about your kid, and all you've been going through.

Try a new hobby, I love lifting but it does get dry if it's the only other outlet in your life. Pick a sport like rock climbing, or a hobby like wood working or restoring cars...Etc. Change can be a good thing, and keeping your mind occupied is half the battle for me.

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These past few weeks have really been horrible for me. Being stuck in the hospital last week and Friday was the anniversary of my daughter dying in childbirth I can't seem to find any motivation. I've worked out twice in 2 weeks and my mood has been a bit off. It has been six years since she passed away but I never really grieved properly before as I was still recovering from my injuries after I got back from my deployment. I've come such a long way and now I feel I've ruined it these past few weeks. Any suggestions besides just getting over it... tried that... it's not that easy. Going to try to hit the gym tomorrow but I just seemed to have lost my drive these past few weeks


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i can't think of much but remove everything e.g. photos of your daughter in viewing distance. just put it away

you'll never totally forget about her but you will think less and less. do not remind yourself of her with anything. obviously you can't stop the mind from racing

i had the same issue. once i removed some stuff from living area i thought less about the issue. and one more thing you'll never stop griefing about her. it was your daughter after all. live with it, embrace it....whatever. good luck
 
I'm really sorry about your daughter man. Its a terrible thing in life not being able to control certain things. You got to keep on your grind brother. Your a soldier you set your mind right in the past and that means you can do it again. There is no doubt in my mind. Watch this video I just searched for about motivation its a really good one.

Stay strong man everything will get easier in time you just have to let it.
[ame="https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xp2qjshr-r4"]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xp2qjshr-r4[/ame]
 
I've hit a rut recently, put me back in a dark place I was when I was fresh out of the military. By the looks of your handle, i'm sure you understand. I started listening to Jocko Willink, ret. Navy Seal officer, clips on youtube and it has helped.

From one vet to another, you gotta push past it. Keep that pack high on your shoulders, head down, one foot in front of the other, and keep humping.
 
two weeks off aint jack. you've got your muscle and just gave yourself a breather. also i understand the "what could have been" with your newborn and all the hopes that go with it. we're all behind you so do something even if it's one step ahead a day. best to you bro.
 

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These past few weeks have really been horrible for me. Being stuck in the hospital last week and Friday was the anniversary of my daughter dying in childbirth I can't seem to find any motivation. I've worked out twice in 2 weeks and my mood has been a bit off. It has been six years since she passed away but I never really grieved properly before as I was still recovering from my injuries after I got back from my deployment. I've come such a long way and now I feel I've ruined it these past few weeks. Any suggestions besides just getting over it... tried that... it's not that easy. Going to try to hit the gym tomorrow but I just seemed to have lost my drive these past few weeks


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There is no proper way to grieve the loss of a child and thinking that there is something more you coukd have , should have or would have done will only drive you deeper into a hole that has a very sticky bottom.

Not a day passes that i don't think about my baby girl and what might be if she were still here and how i might be different. The only advice I can offer you is that you must come to terms with the fact that everything happens for a reason , im not religious anymore but i can't help but to think that something far bigger than us has control over things we can't understand and trying to figure it out will only drive you mad. So whatever belief it is that you have you need to look at it like there is a reason and it's just not for us to know right now.

As far as the nagging injuries , you either figure out how to deal with them , train around then or find something else to do that doesn't involve them.

Pickup a book about a different religion , learn why other people are the way they are and try to gain a different perspective as to how others see life.

Learn a new language , broaden your reach.!!
Learn a new language enough to converse enough to order food and ask directions then take a trip to that land to use it.

Volunteer your time to the VA , go hang out and talk to other vets who might just need someone to talk to. I can't count the men i know who simply needed another guy to just sit there and bitch about stupid people with , someone who has see what you have and understands things the way you do. Shit just be there in case a guy just needs to break down and cry , be that brother that understands and won't judge.

We are the masters of our own demise , the longer we sit around idle feeling sorry for ourselves the worse we will get.
 
These past few weeks have really been horrible for me. Being stuck in the hospital last week and Friday was the anniversary of my daughter dying in childbirth I can't seem to find any motivation. I've worked out twice in 2 weeks and my mood has been a bit off. It has been six years since she passed away but I never really grieved properly before as I was still recovering from my injuries after I got back from my deployment. I've come such a long way and now I feel I've ruined it these past few weeks. Any suggestions besides just getting over it... tried that... it's not that easy. Going to try to hit the gym tomorrow but I just seemed to have lost my drive these past few weeks


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
man, I wish that I could tell you you will get over it. I can only imagine the pain you feel.
a few weeks is not a major setback bro, take that pain and turn it into motivation to strive for a goal. For me, the gym has always been a mood booster. if I'm down, even if I have to drag myself to the gym I always feel better after.

Best of luck to you brother
 
Thank you for all the words... means s lot that people take time to comment when someone is down. Going to start back up tomorrow... kids back in school so I can get back to my regular routine that I was accustomed to most of there year minus Christmas break... I guess you can't get motivated when you are looking at pictures of a dead baby from 6 years ago. I have to look st what I have now.. 2 beautiful girls and a wife who has stuck with me when most would have kicked me to the curb... life is good so I'm getting back in there and making these weights my bitch!! [emoji123]


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Gym is therapy for me. I get cranky if I miss a day. I couldn't begin to imagine what it's like to lose a child and I'm sorry you have that. Those feelings will never go away I'm sure. I may not understand the down feeling you get and how that can affect motivation, but I'd like to think I would use it as fuel in the form of anger where the only productive place to let it out is in the gym and leave it there when done.
 
So I went to the gym today, a new fitness center opened up last month in my city so I wanted to give it a try... good facilities, beautiful equipment, they were la kind some equipment as it looked more geared toward older people and casual exercisers. My wife is going to get a membership there on the weekend. I go there today and it did not go well. While I was doing dumbbell flys with 80,lbs I try my best not to just throw them down but my momentum always makes them drop a tab bit hard but I don't throw them. After doing a few sets I noticed an older gentlemen looking at me and talking to the lady at the desk. When I was done working out I said goodbye and then she told me that people were saying I was throwing the weights down. I told her I didn't and then I just said... "ma'am I do not want to be a member of this gym if I am getting accused of something already by people. I told her I am not going to get a membership here and I will ask my wife to do the same. You just lost 2 clients and a years worth of membership. I was so pissed, back to the gym rat place tomorrow. I was legitimately pissed and if not medicated I would have went off on her and that old man. But I did go to work out and I am going to my normal gym tomorrow... rant over


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I think a good rule of thumb is if you cant set the weight down without dropping it then its probably too heavy for you
 
I would disagree with you... 80 lbs is easy for me and I do it by myself. If I am lying down on a flat bench and when I am done with my set I swing them down toward the ground, let my momentum carry then down and I then let go with maybe an inch or 2 of the ground. I never throw them around, kick them over and let them roll, etc. maybe I will post a video of it and you can judge for yourself


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Find a lifting partner?

I never really had a partner I lifted with on a regular basis, but I do know that the nights I did it made lifting more enjoyable.

For the most part I always lifted alone and it sounds like you do too. At this time with you feeling the way you do it might be nice to have a friend or someone you know from the gym meet you there and lift together. There were some time periods of a few months where I did that and made some new friends and worked out even harder than I normally do. Has to be someone of your ability or even better someone that is stronger than you. More motivation right there.
 
Set a small goal and do your best to accomplish it.. whatever that goal may be.. and build up from that.. I feel that most depression or lack of motivation etc usually stems from feeling "out of control" with daily life.. the more you plan.. and succeed.. the better you feel.. and the more motivation you have to keep going. Maybe it's to drop 10 pounds, or add 10 pounds to your bench, or to finish a project on the house... good luck bud
 
I can't stand gyms who enforce ticky tack rules like that....

Having said that, good for you to take the first step and get back after it. My advice would be to embrace the process of daily training. It's about perspective, the gym is my 60-90 minutes away from the rest of lifes stressors. I love to train. learn to embrace the process, as bodybuilders, many of us get too focused on the end result, we wind up frustrated when things don't go as planned, or hoped for. Most of us have the type of pesonality that lends itself to setting goals and striving for them physique wise, and nothings wrong with that. However, we drive ourselves crazy trying to figure out the perfect test:tren ratio, or how to bring up this or that, and change a variable of our program over and over. To me, it's the guy that enjoys the process of training, and just focuses on that one days training session and getting after it as hard as he can, that in the long run makes the best progress. This mindset lends itself to consistency in the long run and in return we usually find we hit those goals anyways like this, rather than drive ourselves nuts over end result, my advice is learn to love the "process". Hope that helps.
 
I would disagree with you... 80 lbs is easy for me and I do it by myself. If I am lying down on a flat bench and when I am done with my set I swing them down toward the ground, let my momentum carry then down and I then let go with maybe an inch or 2 of the ground. I never throw them around, kick them over and let them roll, etc. maybe I will post a video of it and you can judge for yourself


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I broke two fingers doing that back in college. I didnt see the other dumbbells that were on one side of the bench. So my middle and forefinger on my left hand got smashed.. Saw a guy that tore a pec that way too. Had his dumbbells wrapped tight with wrist wraps and had the bench at a slight angle and his arms weren't long enough...

Not to derail the thread - but just be careful man.

You definitely don't need to "go off" on anyone in the gym. They pay their dues and maybe the guy just thought he saw you chunking weights. If I am next to someone dropping weights - I damn sure tell them to watch it. Getting smashed by my own dumbbell was enough :D

A lot of good advice on here already. If nothing else - YouTube has a ton of great audio / videos that are inspiring and uplifting. Nobody can fully understand anything you are going through. Your life is a compilation of events that ONLY you have or ever will experience. Its up to you to CHOOSE each day to be happy / motivated / positive..
Watch Mel Robbins - "motivation is garbage"

- YOU are the master of YOUR universe.
 
you should be able to grab your dumbells from the floor or rack....
sit or lay on the bench.....complete your reps....then be able to
get up off the bench, to rerack your weights....all without letting
them out of your hands....

if you cant....they are too heavy.....

OR.....you need 2 spotters handing and retrieving your weight for you....
but this way is premadona, and only really reserved for ELITE lifters...
even IF, i was an "Elite" lifter....i still would not allow another man to
hand me weights and take my weights....

you should be able to handle your weight in a manner without dropping them
or throwing them.

:cool:
 
you should be able to grab your dumbells from the floor or rack....
sit or lay on the bench.....complete your reps....then be able to
get up off the bench, to rerack your weights....all without letting
them out of your hands....

if you cant....they are too heavy.....

OR.....you need 2 spotters handing and retrieving your weight for you....
but this way is premadona, and only really reserved for ELITE lifters...
even IF, i was an "Elite" lifter....i still would not allow another man to
hand me weights and take my weights....

you should be able to handle your weight in a manner without dropping them
or throwing them.

:cool:
Or you can just drop then, and not give a shit. [emoji6]

"The greatest feeling in life is not giving a fuck"- Dorian Yates

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Or you can just drop then, and not give a shit. [emoji6]

"The greatest feeling in life is not giving a fuck"- Dorian Yates

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

or you could do that.....yea....

then he should have picked a booger and wiped it on the desk
on the way out.....instead of gentlemanly saying "we will not be
attending this facilalalalalalality anymore"......

:)
 

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