ive been trin to think of what to say...need some advice

[AsylumBitch]

I'm sorry the situation came out this way. You need to do what is best for you. It's always sad to see a relationship turn out this way. Life would be a whole lot easier if when people say I DO, they really meant it.

Keep your chin up...better days ahead.

 

[Mr Pickles]

"Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength."

Arnold

 

[di8kids]

I'm sorry the situation came out this way. You need to do what is best for you. It's always sad to see a relationship turn out this way. Life would be a whole lot easier if when people say I DO, they really meant it.

Keep your chin up...better days ahead.

I am sorry to hear that, too. I agree that when people say, "I Do,"they should realize that it is til death do you part, but not everyone thinks that far ahead.

I do hope for the best.

Sincerely,
DI

 

[Sigmund Roid]

Unfortunate situation, Max.

You've done what you could. She has broken the partnership through her actions.

Now, there are two things you can control: Your thoughts and your behavior. Focus on those two things, and only those things. Don't let this drag your ass down. Studies have been done that show smiling can actually alter brain chemistry. Start controling the THOUGHTS you have about this situation. This has been unfortunate, but is not the end of the world, in fact it might be a great chance for you to actually meet someone nice, who means what they say. You might have never met a truly wonderful woman if you had stayed with the current one who is not a good life partner! In fact, thank heavens she has shown her true colors before you spent 7 years in the relationship etc. You can do better!

We are all pulling for you,if you control your thoughts by chosing to focus on the good things that are coming out of this situation, follow through with behavior such as lifting, prayer, and taking good care of yourself, you'll affect the feelings you are experiencing. This is not the end, but a great new start!

Keep posting, Brother!

 

[Mr Pickles]

You've done what you could.

This is not the end, but a great new start!

 

[maxsupplements]

man, life sure got easier

WOW, i am amazed at how much easier my life is witho8ut some one nagging and complaining and being negative all the time. This is a good feeling, im really not down about it too much, except for the fact that it didnt work out. oh well, onward and upward. i am trying to focus on my actions and things i can control. and i am still continuing counseling. it has really helped me cope with lots of things that are previously mentioned in my super thread.
THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR HELPING ME WITH THIS. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT, YOU DONT KNOW HOW MUCH I APPREICATE THIS.

pickles- thanks man, i appreicate the boost.

sig- thanks for all your time and effort in helping me understand myself and her. you are right, she is not right for mew, and better to see this now than 3 kids and 10 years later!

 

[moose]

maxsupplements...keep us updated bro, I have been following this thread.. Hope all is well bro. We are here for ya!

 

[maxsupplements]

well guys, its fully final now.

well friends, i have everything fiinal now. its kinda sad, but at the same time relieveing. my life has gotten significantly easier now that i dont have someone nagging and trying to make me feel guilty for my action. SHE is now okay with the idea, and has been seen out with guys already. man that makes a guys heart sink. its one thing to think it, but to hear about it from one of your best bros. well, thats just shitty. but oh well, i dont have the problems anymore from her. I guess that just shows how much she really loved me though. i guess not that much. i seem to be having an enormous amouont of women suddenly interesed in me. its almost overwhelming. but at the same time, very nice to have someone(s) new to hang out with. although i felt guilty at first for hanging out with other women, i realized shortly thereafter that theres nothing to feel guilty about. but the one thing that is giving me trouble is sleep. i cannot seem to get enough sleep in ever. it sucks!

moose-thanks man, i appreciate your concern and interest. this has been one of the most educational and at the same time painful experiences i have ever had to go through in my entire life. I now am beggining a new chapter in my life.

 

[101chemistry]

don't think about her.

that's the only thing that a woman can ever have on you, the disturbing thought that someone else could/is having her. never mind..just focus on the tons of new ones, and never let such a thought cross your mind ever again.

 

[di8kids]

I would say when you think about her....

Pray for her. You never know....you may be the only one in her life that will ever communicate to God for her.

Just an idea to help.

Sincerely,
Di

 

[101chemistry]

thinking about her is the last thing he should be doing.

things end. he's a strong guy and getting over it already, which makes him lucky.

 

[MikeS]

MAX-

hey what has happened here since? I wish Id have checked this forum.
I had a very similar situation to yours. Married, first 3yrs were like a dream.
Next 2yrs were progressivly worse-alot like what you describe. Wife hanging out alot with friends, drinking alot, staying out late and sometimes all nite.
All along she was angry and nasty to me, as if everything was my fault. Made no effort to improve our union. I suspected an affair and this went on for about 8mo until I basically caught her. And unbelievably she was angry with me! I immediately filed for seperation. Fuck that, I paid the bills, she was irresponsible in helping with that (did pay but not consistantly or on time), and she ruined the relationship. Why the hell should I leave? I made her move. She wouldnt be able to get credit for the home to be switched to her name, and I sure wasnt ruining my credit letting her stay and assume she would pay the bills on time. I bought her out of the house, her relationship with the other guy failed quick and terribly. 9mo later, I still have sex with her, still love her. She loves me too-but I will never trust her. I dont think I'll ever live with her, and we are much happier apart like this. I admit I havent moved completely away, but after I ended it, she always came back crying, that she loved me, missed me. I had to make a move and now she doesnt take me for granted, and respects me. Too bad, we were kinda right for each other. But somehow she got way off track. Her best friend was the worst influence, but still its my wifes fault. She turned into a cheating alcoholic, just like her skanky friend. And now she cries at night because she is alone in another house she rents. I am finally in the drivers seat, I wish it could have been a mutual, happy love-just didnt work out that way.

 

[maxsupplements]

well, to update my friends.

well i guess im doing alright, i guess the idea of not having my wife with me is now starting to set in. i am in some emotional pain and sometimes catch myself thinking of her quite a bit. but then i stop myself and keep going. since the divorce i guess she has continued partying and doing her thing unitl she one day called me to say she is hurting and upset. i told her that she needs to relax and we can try and be civil with eachother, well, then like 30 minutes later she called and bitched me out for something someone told her. well, i guess it got back to her that i had caught her cheating, not red handed, but indirectly. i wish i could be close with her and i had real good intentions, i wish that the mutual love thing would work for us. but evidentlly it wont. now when i look back it was attraction and fatuation that brought us together. you know sexual attraction and then the fact that we were both into some of the same things and it just felt like the right thing at the right time. i am having a real hard time being alone. you know, i have like 5 different women chasing me around, watning to go out all the time and shit, and that doesnt even help either. except for the moment. i have a hard time cooking and being alone in bed at nite and in the morning. hard to eat and sleep, i sware i feel like i am living off of protein shakes! but thankfully i havent lost any weight, actually think i have but on some body fat.
But yea MIKES- i feel like she ruined the relationship also, going out and partying and shit isnt someting for a married woman to do, expecially when your leaivng your ring at home! I guess she was just not ready to get married, she wasnt ready for the commitment and the work that it takes, you know she did try, but just not the right way, and it ended in the demise of our relationship. I miss her, and pray for her, i mainly miss the friendship we had together, she was my best friend. and that is the hardest part, but im gettting through this., its painful, but its getting better every day!

 

[di8kids]

You will grieve.....

well i guess im doing alright, i guess the idea of not having my wife with me is now starting to set in. i am in some emotional pain and sometimes catch myself thinking of her quite a bit. but then i stop myself and keep going. since the divorce i guess she has continued partying and doing her thing unitl she one day called me to say she is hurting and upset. i told her that she needs to relax and we can try and be civil with eachother, well, then like 30 minutes later she called and bitched me out for something someone told her. well, i guess it got back to her that i had caught her cheating, not red handed, but indirectly. i wish i could be close with her and i had real good intentions, i wish that the mutual love thing would work for us. but evidentlly it wont. now when i look back it was attraction and fatuation that brought us together. you know sexual attraction and then the fact that we were both into some of the same things and it just felt like the right thing at the right time. i am having a real hard time being alone. you know, i have like 5 different women chasing me around, watning to go out all the time and shit, and that doesnt even help either. except for the moment. i have a hard time cooking and being alone in bed at nite and in the morning. hard to eat and sleep, i sware i feel like i am living off of protein shakes! but thankfully i havent lost any weight, actually think i have but on some body fat.
But yea MIKES- i feel like she ruined the relationship also, going out and partying and shit isnt someting for a married woman to do, expecially when your leaivng your ring at home! I guess she was just not ready to get married, she wasnt ready for the commitment and the work that it takes, you know she did try, but just not the right way, and it ended in the demise of our relationship. I miss her, and pray for her, i mainly miss the friendship we had together, she was my best friend. and that is the hardest part, but im gettting through this., its painful, but its getting better every day!

it's ok. This is a loss of someone in your life that you will miss. I would say...just take it one day at a time(sometimes one minute at a time.) You will do ok. Focus on what you know is right. It's funny, I don't even know you, but sometimes while I'm driving to work, I will think about your situation, and I will pray for you. I pray all works well with you.

Sincerely,
Di

 

[maxsupplements]

THOUGHT I WOULD BRING THIS UP..

FOR THE FELLA GOIN THROUGH THE DIVORCE..

THERE IS LIFE AFTERWARDS BRO...

TRUST ME.. MY LIFE IS AMAZING NOW... I AM SOOOO GLAD I DID WHAT I DID!!!


READ THIS.. IT WILL HELP YOU...