just don't know what to do anymore

[walker11]

the past few weeks have been nothing but bad. It started off with destroying my left shoulder and the doctor telling me i need surgery and will be out for a minimum of 3 months and possibly up to 4. this was hard because i dedicate everything to lifting, mind, body, and soul, and now im being told i can't do what i love. Then i get a call from my mom telling me a friend i've known my entire life has died. and a few days later my grandfather passed away from a heart attack. Just those 3 event had me feeling like i hit rock bottom, but i found a way to make it worse.
While i was at a party with some friends, i was DDing, a girl (lets call her Tiff) that i have very strong feeling for (and she knows this) and i've been friends with for a while now calls me and asks if im at the party because she wont come if im not there. So she shows up and talks to me for a little bit then starts dancing with some guy i don't like, long story short my friends had to remove me from the party before i got in a fight. After i left a female friend of mine asked Tiff what the deal was between us, and Tiff tells my friend that she really like me and wants to date me. So i get told this and the next day i go to see Tiff and tell her exactly how i feel about her just so she knows im not playing around and really want to give us a try, she repsonds with "i am attracted to you, and have strong feelings for you too but i don't know if they are friend feelings or something more. and im not sure if i could date you because your temper scares me." Now while i am a bit on the aggressive side, im am always in control of myself and she has never actualy seen mad, but she did hear about what happened at the party, and she knows about how i used to be when i was workin as a bouncer. Then after we talk for a while about our feelings and concerns she tells me that she is also attracted to another guy, a friend of mine. I let her know that while im not fine with that, i can't control her, so i aksed her to just not talk about him around me. And what does she do? everytime we're together she's texting him, and when im with her and her friends, all her friends ask about this other guy and she gets all gigly and asks him to come over. Is she testing me to see how i react or something? And this situation gets better. While im working this past weekend (stage security for a concert), she shows up and tells me this other guy is meeting her. At the end of the night, the other guy stood her up and she is crying. She says she's never going to give this guy another chance and she's done with him. Then the next day she comes walkin up with this guy and tells me not to do anything because she talked to him and put him in his place. i stepped outside and lost it, so now i have a blown out left shoulder and broken right hand thanks to a wall. i have never felt this way before about a girl, she is everything i am looking for and want, and she keeps sayin she is attracted to me but then goes with this other guy she's knows for just over a week.
When i finally got back to my room i after i hit the wall i just sat on my bed and cried. between the loss of my friend and grandfather, this girl ripping me apart, and not being able to lift to let out my feelings i just don't know what to do and how to cope. im young, 21, and know i have a lot of good times ahead of me, but right now im lost and don't know what to do.

 

[mitochondria]

i always look at it like it could always be worse, one day some guy was trying to get me to give him a ride, looked crazy as hell and was offering mad money, he could have held me up and beat me down with a bat in the woods and left me there to die in pain,

 

[BOOMSHAKER]

#1 get rid of that looser of a "girl" friend! You dont need that shit in your life right now!

#2 your grandfather and best freind passing are a part of life. It happens. Knowing who they were, and them knowing who you are and that they wouldnt want you to loose focus of your training and such. Means just that. Live for their spirit, and enjoy their memories. Use it as a training tool for the gym and for your life.

#3 I had a good friend and neighbor of mine have it much worst in a short period of time. He came from down south to come and burry his younger brother who was killed in a shooting. Goes back home to the south. About 5 months later he has to come back up cause his father passed away. Friday viewing, saturday burial. Monday drives back down south. He works on a Naval base. Wednesday he gets a call his mother passed away. On her way to work and collapsed on the side walk a few feet from her house.

How would you like to be this guy????? NOT, right? Someone, somewhere, always had it worst off then you my friend. Get your rehab underway. Ditch the bitch! Remember those you loved and move on for the bettering of yourself.

Good luck young bro!

 

[Random Letters]

Injuries happen...they suck, but they are inevitable in this game. Be smart and rehab it correctly or you'll pay for it with even more off time. I'm finally getting over a shoulder injury from last AUGUST!

As for the girl, she's playing you mate. I hate to say it, but she's just dangling the carrot in front of your face. She knows you are interested and obviously doesn't want anything to do with you. Always remember this...when dealing with the affairs of the heart, pay attention to what that person DOES not what they SAY.

Sorry to hear about your losses. Sad when we lose people. But you had your grandfather until you were 21. You are very lucky!

Chin up. Move on to another girl. Concentrate on getting healthy and finding a healthy way to deal with your anger.

 

[gregbrich]

Good luck bro!

Just remember not to sorrow for your any perceived loss, and make the most of what you've got, regardless of outcomes.

I was just chatting with a young man at the VA hospital who was getting his prostetic legs tweeked so that he could compete in a 30k run to get over loosing his wife.

You'll be fine!