Labels that crack me up O/T

[Ivan]

In Honor of Stupid People

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.



On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.

(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).



On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(the shoplifter special?)



On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."

(and that would be how???....)



On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

(but, it's "just" a suggestion).




On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."

(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)




On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."

(...and you thought????...)



On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."

(but wouldn't this save me more time)?



On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)



On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(and...I'm taking this because???....)



On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."

(as opposed to...what)?



On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."

(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)



On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."

(talk about a news flash)


On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)





On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)





On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

 

[LATS]

THE SAD THING IS.. THOSE LABELS WOULD NOT BE THERE IF IT HAS NOT ALREADY BEEN TRIED LOL.. THE COMPANIES LEARNED AFTER THE FIRST LAW SUIT..

 

[chewwy26]

lmao thats sad isnt it lats nice post for some humor

 

[jawbreakerkid]

that's the funniest thing I've seen in awhile People cease to amaze me.

 

[BigBoyJ]

Damn it!!! If I would've read the one about stopping the chainsaw blade with your genitals just a little sooner...................

 

[wolverine]

I've got a good one for you. I own a machine shop that has several CNC lathes and mills. On one of the lathes, there is a picture of someone holding a piece of raw material that sticks out of the lathe, with a warning sign not to do this.

Well, no shit. Like I'm going to make an employee hold the end of a 3" piece of bar stock that is 12 feet long as it gets machined while turning at 3000 RPM.

Someone did, that's why the sticker is on the machine. Turns out a guy actually had one of his illegal alien employees doing this, and the material got caught in his clothing and tossed his ass around like a rag doll, almost killing him.

So the employee sues the employer, who in turn sues the lathe manufacturer, because "he didn't know he couldn't do that".

He won the judgement.

 

[Paul Bunyan]

Wolverine

That was too funny. I work as a Toolmaker and one day I was working with one of the other guys on a mill. He flipped the lever to move the table and my apron got caught in one of the handles. It tore the fucker right off of me. We were both cracking up laughing because it tripped the circuit breaker. I'm the only one they let near a lathe with an apron on. There are some advantages to being large and strong.

PB