Lifting with a broken heart

[Noir]

Hey guys
Most of you don't know me, even though I've been on this board since 2006. I don't post much but I always read to gain new information. This board helped me a lot to achieve my goals in BB.
I want to share with you my pain that really affected my training and my life for the past 2 month.

2 month ago I ended up my relationship with my gf, we have been together for over a year. It was great we have been so close, I thought I finally found a girl I can spend my whole life with. I am 24 right now and she was my first serious gf. I really loved her and I thought she loved me, but I found out she was cheating. Since then I am in a great depression. I can't stop thinking about her and I can't believe she did something like this to me. Why would she do this. I could have cheated on her like a thousand times, but every time I said no, because I loved her and I was always serious about our relationship. I can't work-out, I come to the gym and I feel like shit: no concentration, no enthusiasm, no stamina. My appetite is gone, my weights dropped 40%! I was 94kg 2 month ago and now I am at 86kg. And the worst part is its mostly my muscle mass.
You never realize it can be this painful until it actually happens to you. I've been in this sport for 5 straight years and nothing NOTHING ever affected my training this much.
I know I should forget about her, but I can't. It's like a big worm in your head that just won't come out and it is constantly fucking your brain.

I just hope its gonna help if I share the pain with you guys. Maybe you have some good advices how to over come this problem and get back to my workouts.

 

[jerseystepup]

Thanks for sharing bro... Sometimes to let it all out is the start of moving on... Get in the gym and get it done for YOU. She'll eventually realize what she lost, they always do. Theres a million chicks out there bro, and remember, EVERYTHING happens for a reason.... You'll one day look back on all this and realize its part of the game of life... Best of luck.

 

[purelifting]

Ive been there. It sucks... Try to listen to music and get pumped and have a buddy there to push you.

 

[Ashop]

Hey guys
Most of you don't know me, even though I've been on this board since 2006. I don't post much but I always read to gain new information. This board helped me a lot to achieve my goals in BB.
I want to share with you my pain that really affected my training and my life for the past 2 month.

2 month ago I ended up my relationship with my gf, we have been together for over a year. It was great we have been so close, I thought I finally found a girl I can spend my whole life with. I am 24 right now and she was my first serious gf. I really loved her and I thought she loved me, but I found out she was cheating. Since then I am in a great depression. I can't stop thinking about her and I can't believe she did something like this to me. Why would she do this. I could have cheated on her like a thousand times, but every time I said no, because I loved her and I was always serious about our relationship. I can't work-out, I come to the gym and I feel like shit: no concentration, no enthusiasm, no stamina. My appetite is gone, my weights dropped 40%! I was 94kg 2 month ago and now I am at 86kg. And the worst part is its mostly my muscle mass.
You never realize it can be this painful until it actually happens to you. I've been in this sport for 5 straight years and nothing NOTHING ever affected my training this much.
I know I should forget about her, but I can't. It's like a big worm in your head that just won't come out and it is constantly fucking your brain.

I just hope its gonna help if I share the pain with you guys. Maybe you have some good advices how to over come this problem and get back to my workouts.

I know its easier said than done,,but you need to get over her.
There is NO future with a women/man who is un-faithful. Consider
yourself lucky that it wasnt more time and you didnt marry her.
Surround yourself with postitive people and doing positive things.
Look around,,,there alot of fish in the sea,,you will find a good women one day who will not cheat on you.

 

[tenny]

it happends to us all

you'll laugh about it later.....i promise

 

[BigEnough]

On to the next... you're young, keep it movin bro.

 

[napaulm]

bud, read my thread in counselor forum, if yer woman kinda cheated on you.
thats what im going thru right now. i just feel crushed and unmotivated. but when i do get my ass to the gym, i try and channel the hurt and anger to have a more intense workout. dont always work tho. its gonna be hard for quite awhile for you. day by day, my man. thats how i have to look at it. then one day, it'll be over. pm me if u want. we can vent to each other.

 

[bowtie]

Together for a year? Broke up 2 months ago? Pleeeze...

Sorry. You need to suck it up.

It happens to everyone.

Yes, me, 2 years ago, my wife.

I've gained 32 lbs.....

 

[railslave]

bud, read my thread in counselor forum, if yer woman kinda cheated on you.
thats what im going thru right now. i just feel crushed and unmotivated. but when i do get my ass to the gym, i try and channel the hurt and anger to have a more intense workout. dont always work tho. its gonna be hard for quite awhile for you. day by day, my man. thats how i have to look at it. then one day, it'll be over. pm me if u want. we can vent to each other.

i agree with napaulm. soon enough you will meet someone who will waaay surpass your ex. let her go, and keep working on your well being.

 

[pro_performance]

even if it has been said a million times, you will look back and see how obvious it was that it was a good thing you broke up, if people are unfaithful once, more than likely they will be again. you do not need/want that in your life. man up and realize you now will find someone better

 

[Phidias]

LOVE? A strange feeling. A kind word from her and u feel invicible, then the next thing u know your life is a misery. Actually there's nothing more powerful... either makes u or breaks u. When it's over, yeah... it's ur whole world that crashes... nothing else matters anymore.

I've been there, Noir, many have... each one among us broken hearts has felt exactly like you describe yourself these days... no taste for anything, dark thoughts all day long. You want to end it all. You don't understand... what happened? Not her, can't be. You start questionning yourself... i should have done this, said that... maybe... well, guess what? It's pointless.

The only one suffering here is you... we're NOT meant to live in emotional pain, never... this existence is too short. Chase your negative thoughts away RIGHT NOW. You'll heal anyway... so why wait anymore? It's now that you must recover... and that implies FORGETTING HER. She betrayed u... therefore she's not deserving all the credit u still give her... not worthy of ur love, make no mistake about it.

You may say, actually that might be what she told you, that it was an error on her part and she regrets it badly, wants to give ur couple another chance... well, I don't know... she may be sincere. BUT even if she is and you're willing to forgive and try again cos u've never ceased to love her, you have to RE-BUILD yourself first!!

In this moment, down and blue all the time with a lost appetite for life, you're not desirable anymore... neither for her or someone else.

Women like mentally strong men... they hate cry babies. Of course you're not one; you're just awfully sad. But the way a girl will perceive u is like a weak dude... and that's not appealing. At all.

Your only chance to conqueer her again if ever it's ur intention, is to get away from depression and start existing again... when she sees you're ALIVE and become distant, that's when she's gonna get attracted again... fearing you might not be belonging to her anymore will hurt her ego, and her innate possessivness will make her do efforts to seduce you again.

So first step first: stand up and fight. For her or someone else. For you first. No time to waste... no one should be able to break u to pieces like that... don't let ANYONE have that much power on you.

Be strong!! There's no other way around.

 

[EatOrBeEaten1]

I think the majority of us have been there bro. Your first true love will be the hardest to get over. Like posted above dont let anyone have this much control over you. Theres nothing wrong with being down, but its how you deal with it that matters. Keep your chin up and chest out bro!

 

[scrapper13]

you have two choices you can make here bro...you can either let this bring you down or you can use it to motivate you. right now it sounds like you are letting it ruin you. focus on you in the end you will be stronger in more than one way

 

[hotnuts]

Dude.... It's not the end of the world.... You are 24.... That is very young and we all go through this! Even though this is a bb forum and not a dr. Drew forum, there are a few things you can do to forget about that cheating biotch. 1. call all the chicks you could have boned while you were in that relationship and run through them like the hood rats they are. 2. go to a bar and pick up some some drunk sluts and have fun. You will be better and back in the gym full force.

 

[thebrick]

You don't realize it yet but one day you will realize she did you a huge favor by revealing her true self now and not later. You were in love with a person you thought she was, not the real person she is. Now you are available for the right woman. Stand up, smile and get on with your life with lesson learned.

 

[crbody]

makes 2 of us

bro i have been in your'e shoes, i actually got engaged to her and found her bent over with a moron in my bedroom! while i was 8 weeks out of a show... Yes i was depressed, yes i thought i was never gonna get over it.. well i ended up moving on quick , found a women that surpasses her, and to put the icing on top i won my class and overall at that show i was 8 weeks out on. It felt great and til this day she still trys to come back for me(2 years later), i laugh and laugh and laugh. keep ur head up bro, good people do indeed finish first.

 

[sexyboy]

happend to me bro it sucks i am a better man cuase of it. Cant let a women get you down plan on shit lilke this to never end bro. Its nature and womens nature is very odd and dont make sence. life goes on..


i suggest to put all your time and effort into the gym, diet and cardio.

SB

 

[Chim Chim]

Been there!!

Bang her best friend, that will fix her little red wagon.

 

[Ivan]

These two posts

LOVE? A strange feeling. A kind word from her and u feel invicible, then the next thing u know your life is a misery. Actually there's nothing more powerful... either makes u or breaks u. When it's over, yeah... it's ur whole world that crashes... nothing else matters anymore.

I've been there, Noir, many have... each one among us broken hearts has felt exactly like you describe yourself these days... no taste for anything, dark thoughts all day long. You want to end it all. You don't understand... what happened? Not her, can't be. You start questionning yourself... i should have done this, said that... maybe... well, guess what? It's pointless.

The only one suffering here is you... we're NOT meant to live in emotional pain, never... this existence is too short. Chase your negative thoughts away RIGHT NOW. You'll heal anyway... so why wait anymore? It's now that you must recover... and that implies FORGETTING HER. She betrayed u... therefore she's not deserving all the credit u still give her... not worthy of ur love, make no mistake about it.

You may say, actually that might be what she told you, that it was an error on her part and she regrets it badly, wants to give ur couple another chance... well, I don't know... she may be sincere. BUT even if she is and you're willing to forgive and try again cos u've never ceased to love her, you have to RE-BUILD yourself first!!

In this moment, down and blue all the time with a lost appetite for life, you're not desirable anymore... neither for her or someone else.

Women like mentally strong men... they hate cry babies. Of course you're not one; you're just awfully sad. But the way a girl will perceive u is like a weak dude... and that's not appealing. At all.

Your only chance to conqueer her again if ever it's ur intention, is to get away from depression and start existing again... when she sees you're ALIVE and become distant, that's when she's gonna get attracted again... fearing you might not be belonging to her anymore will hurt her ego, and her innate possessivness will make her do efforts to seduce you again.

So first step first: stand up and fight. For her or someone else. For you first. No time to waste... no one should be able to break u to pieces like that... don't let ANYONE have that much power on you.

Be strong!! There's no other way around.

You don't realize it yet but one day you will realize she did you a huge favor by revealing her true self now and not later. You were in love with a person you thought she was, not the real person she is. Now you are available for the right woman. Stand up, smile and get on with your life with lesson learned.

Both of these posts are rich in wisdom. They pretty much took the very words right out of my mouth. A lot of the posters on this thread are all telling you it happens to us all -- and it does. Does that help the pain go away? No. Think of it like this though; she came into your life for a reason, and you learned a harsh lesson from it. That lesson is up to you decide, perhaps it was in finding happiness in yourself, perhaps it was to teach you about doling out trust to easily -- you only know. So she was like a training wheel -- hey I had to go through several tough heartbreaks to learn who and what I wanted for my true mate. My exes "hardened" me, as well as gave me invaluable experience in the ways of relationships. I learned a lot about myself, and a lot about women.

Although you are 24, you still have the heart of a young man. Some say the heart of a young man is tragically flawed. I remember gazing into a pair of green eyes and felt feelings so intense I thought my heart would stop -- only to have those same feelings days later while gazing into a pair of blue eyes. The heart of a young man is like that of a fracticious colt; it must be reined in and tamed. And this is how it is done my friend, this is how it is done.

 

[Bio]

You don't realize it yet but one day you will realize she did you a huge favor by revealing her true self now and not later. You were in love with a person you thought she was, not the real person she is. Now you are available for the right woman. Stand up, smile and get on with your life with lesson learned.

Wise and true words. The Brick just gave you wise words to live by. Make the decision...Today is the day you start to live again!