motivating kids/teenager

MAD_SCIENTIST · Nov 13, 2024

jcc80 said:
Oh man, this one resonates with me. I just could NOT motivate my son to work out. I would make him come to the gym with me, he would kinda half ass it, and his head was not in it.

He got up in the neighborhood of 250 lbs. Somewhere along the way, it just clicked. I kind of gave up on trying to motivate him, but out of the blue he just got interested. Lost 70 lbs in about a year, built a little muscle, getting stronger.

What was it? I don't know. I just kept doing my thing, being consistent, eating right. Maybe he liked the way I looked and decided he wanted the same? Hard to say.

I will say that I NEVER criticized... Just did my thing and hoped he would observe my actions. The more I pushed back then, the less he wanted to go.

Chicks, gym bunnies?

MS

3BILLS · Nov 13, 2024

gauge22-v2 said:
Hey @3BILLS

Perhaps he would work out with you?

Rolling into the gym with you would calm his fears of any teasing, if they exist etc. I know it would suck up your time, but cool way to give back to the youngsters.

I don't need that fat ass ruining my workouts

Lool jk. Ya I would try that to see if it would help

SouthernMuscle said:
@3BILLS

i’d just straight up pay the kid off. Some kind of increment based pay system. Then when he gets to the point that he’s lookin decent, pull the money. He won‘t quit by that point

either that or trade gym time for video game time. Can’t be 1:1, i don’t know the kid or how far pops could push him

also replacing all the snacks in the house with different types of protein bars/muffins/cookies etc

I like this. My friend suggested it to the wife also. I believe it's a work in progress though. He says there's no junk in the house. Obviously this kid can eat shit while out so

Trying to make it a lifestyle change and not some quick fix.

Appreciate all the suggestions though

SouthernMuscle · Nov 13, 2024

3BILLS said:
I don't need that fat ass ruining my workouts

Lool jk. Ya I would try that to see if it would help

I like this. My friend suggested it to the wife also. I believe it's a work in progress though. He says there's no junk in the house. Obviously this kid can eat shit while out so

Trying to make it a lifestyle change and not some quick fix.

Appreciate all the suggestions though

Which one the cash? I mean it’s not a traditional fix but it’s not ridiculous if it works.

Just a means to an end. An investment in that kids future, and he’ll be eternally grateful whether he says it or not.

Along the way the kid will learn the value of hard work, consistency, diligence, accountability etc etc whether he intends to or not.

He won’t give two shits when they pull that money if he’s dropped some fat lbs and looks more muscular.

And the father and son will have a chance to bond.

Damn, that’s a beautiful story I just created in my head. Hope it works out

jcc80 · Nov 13, 2024

MAD_SCIENTIST said:
Chicks, gym bunnies?

MS

Well, the truth just came out. I just straight up asked him a little while ago. Turns out there was a girl he liked. Now she is his girlfriend. Guess it worked!

But he's very much into the workouts now and watches bodybuilding content and loves hitting PRs in the gym. Sometimes he's the one convincing me to go with him even when I didn't want to work out that day.

3BILLS · Nov 13, 2024

SouthernMuscle said:
Which one the cash? I mean it’s not a traditional fix but it’s not ridiculous if it works.

Just a means to an end. An investment in that kids future, and he’ll be eternally grateful whether he says it or not.

Along the way the kid will learn the value of hard work, consistency, diligence, accountability etc etc whether he intends to or not.

He won’t give two shits when they pull that money if he’s dropped some fat lbs and looks more muscular.

And the father and son will have a chance to bond.

Damn, that’s a beautiful story I just created in my head. Hope it works out

The 1/1 ratio of video games to exercise/sports ect

I will mention the cash bribery tomorrow lol

Jefe · Nov 13, 2024

Vanguards said:
Another thought: maybe a treadmill could be a good investment

He could still do the phone/gaming thing while walking on the treadmill, that way he feels like he's not missing out on the gaming, while simulatenously being productive?

Sometimes when I do my longer cardio sessions I'll put a movie or a show on, and before I know it the time zooms by and I've done 90 minutes of walking. Just makes cardio a lot more pleasant

I think I’m getting rid of my extra chair and putting a treadmill in my living room. No TV in the gym at my apartment. Just make is easier. I could video games while doing cardio.

Thanks for the reminder

Fleezy · Nov 13, 2024

my father motivated me with his fists

it never occurred to him that there may be more constructive ways to get your son to play Tee ball

j2048b · Nov 13, 2024

Maybe he needs to start talking about therapy… maybe the kids depressed? Does he have real life human, non jepeto pinokio friends or all online in make believe world?

Id suggest they find someone to talk to… im a father and my kids talk to their mom more because im an asshole… but im this way due to the military and how i was raised… i found out i cant be this way to them without resentment and depression creeping in

Might be time to suggest a talking to with some actual doctors to figure out what is going on…

gauge22-v2 · Nov 13, 2024

3BILLS said:
I don't need that fat ass ruining my workouts

Lool jk. Ya I would try that to see if it would help

Totally get that. Perhaps just a couple of intro type workouts where you show him the ropes.

Put yourself in his position. He is fat and a stranger to the gym. This is a huge mental hurdle. Going in with you will ease his mind, and maybe "flip a switch" where he aspires to look muscular like your self.

Kudos to you in helping this young man out. We need WAY more men out there having a positive impact on the younger men coming up.

JUICEDUP3 · Nov 13, 2024

Video games, and cell phones are like a drug to young kids...

My son gets 1hr of video games per day.. that way he has to go outside, or find something else to do.

Sectør · Nov 13, 2024

Jefe said:
I think I’m getting rid of my extra chair and putting a treadmill in my living room. No TV in the gym at my apartment. Just make is easier. I could video games while doing cardio.

Thanks for the reminder

I have a stationary bike in my bedroom I'll use when watching shows. Combined with a window ac unit, and the room is ice cold so I can get my heart rate up without really breaking much of a sweat. It's quite wonderful

Kind of similar to what you're proposing

3BILLS · Nov 13, 2024

gauge22-v2 said:
Totally get that. Perhaps just a couple of intro type workouts where you show him the ropes.

Put yourself in his position. He is fat and a stranger to the gym. This is a huge mental hurdle. Going in with you will ease his mind, and maybe "flip a switch" where he aspires to look muscular like your self.

Kudos to you in helping this young man out. We need WAY more men out there having a positive impact on the younger men coming up.

Haha was definitely kidding about the rude part. Yah it could be like a once a week thing to keep him motivated. I mentioned it my friend last night

fisther69 · Nov 13, 2024

slesh said:
Gotta let the kid figure it out on his own. I was similar - I ate like shit and was inactive. Once I realized the only way to make fuckie fuckie with a halfway decent looking chick is to get your life together. Most chicks don’t care if you walk around with a 6 pack year round - they mostly want to see that you care about yourself and have somewhat of an active lifestyle.

Girls don’t care..but it’s really easy to convince a guy they do

btails · Nov 13, 2024

fisther69 said:
Girls don’t care..but it’s really easy to convince a guy they do

Girls don't care about a guy being fit or fat?

3BILLS · Nov 13, 2024

fisther69 said:
Girls don’t care..but it’s really easy to convince a guy they do

Keep telling yourself that

richiec · Nov 13, 2024

3BILLS said:
Hey guys,

This question is for a good buddy of mine. I don't have any kids myself so I have limited experience

His son is 15.. plays video games all day ect. Doesn't play any sports (since he was younger) he's over 220 pounds already ..5'8 so not tall

My friend keeps no junk food in the house. Obviously u can still overeat any food but just thought I would mention that

He's tried to enlove his son in sports
Working out at the gym
Working out at home
Going for walks

Kids not interested in any of that. I could go on about the different things he tried.

I feel bad for him and his son. He's a solid guy and a good dad.

I mentioned have a small workout routine that they could do together everyday at home.

Were talking a few sets of bench, few sets of curls ect followed by a 10 min walk.
Just do get the ball rolling
Something so easy u can't so no to
Make it about health and function and not appearance.

But what if the kid says no to even that ?

I know we have alot of fathers on here. Any suggestions

Thanks

Bolded part is a HUGE issue. Someone else said it, cell phones and video games are drugs for this generation. They are the drug, the parents are the dealers. IDGAF if someone gets their panties in a wad about it, that's how it is. I coach 15u baseball, little bastards come to practice with their cell phones in their back pocket and go on the field to stretch before practice with it in their pocket still. Took 2 practices before that stopped. First practice it happened, the kids ran a lap. Next practice it happened again, they ran suicides. Nobody brought them on the field or even let me know they had them in the dugout (I told them to keep them in their bags).
My son is 13.5 and my daughter is 10, parents are blown away that neither of them have phones. My kids see the way other kids act with their phones and have never asked for one.
They bought themselves a refurbished old Wii system, play it maybe 30 minutes a week. My daughter does all-star cheer and son plays baseball. They're too busy to play video games.
If they weren't in sports, they wouldn't be playing games, we'd keep them too busy because they don't get a say.

Get the kid off video games and take his ass to the gym!

qbkilla · Nov 13, 2024

btails said:
Honestly as someone that started this endeavour in my teens coming from basically the same stats (and mindset/background) as your friends kid; No one's going to make the kid do anything until he wants to change.

If not getting hot girls at that age isn't motivating enough then it's a lost cause imo.

Pretty much this ...the function of behavior is to access reinforcement. In this case kid is probably addictive to games and is accessing them by playing all day he has no incentive to change. Most guys get into working out to acess pussy then you have the big guys who are seeking reinforcement from somethings else because you don't need to look like a bodybuilders to get the most pussy you can...it actually starts to hurt your chances...so obviously for the big boys there is a different motivation factor (reimfoecer). He could set limits on gaming..first workout, then play games. Start wirh small like 1 set, overtime increase the contingency needed to earn video games, 2 sets 3, 2 exercises etc. He could look into aba behavior modification but like many said thr kid apparently has no incentive to train so unless he changes forcing change may require some thinking

gungalunga · Nov 13, 2024

Vanguards said:
I have a stationary bike in my bedroom I'll use when watching shows. Combined with a window ac unit, and the room is ice cold so I can get my heart rate up without really breaking much of a sweat. It's quite wonderful

Kind of similar to what you're proposing

When I was a kid I saw a news segment they did about an electrical engineer that put an electric generator on a stationary bike for his kids to use. If they wanted to watch TV, they had to pedal the bike to generate electricity. He had a battery in the circuit so if they wanted to pedal for a while and store electricity, they could do this. They interviewed his son and the kid said once he pedaled the bike for 3 hours so he could watch TV in the evening. The son was so tired from riding the bike that he took a nap after dinner. Poor kid was so tired he slept through his favorite shows that night. His brother and sister thanked him for all the hard work because they used the battery to watch TV that night.