MY Bodybuilding Journey

[Joshua Smith]

I started posting here in 2002 under the screen name balplayer. I was 25 years old then and really so excited and hungry to learn anything i could to start competing. I entered my first show and won. after that i was hooked. I chased my dream of winning a overall and state title. After many ups and downs and quitting for 5 years. In 2015 i finally reached that goal.

I came here and re read all the posts i had made. I learned that bodybuilding took me from a naive kid to a very bitter and hateful person. As much as i loved bodybuilding, it tore me up inside and made me not like what i had to do to become what i really thought i wanted. At the time i thought i was normal to be so obsessed about something. I thought it was ok to revolve your life around something that in the grand scheme of things meant very little.

Little did i know that the choices made then would have a huge impact on my life now. I find myself now after having reached the goal i wanted to so badly, to not feeling very fulfilled about it. I never would have thought that would be the case. Now i find myself asking what do i do from here? You can only take your body through so much. How do i transition into being someone who isn't constantly chasing something? How do i justify the training and supplement usage now? its been a long road and i want anyone who ever remembered me from those days to know i am thankful for all who helped me and gave their input. The is a wealth of information here and anyone starting out should be glad that they have access to it.

 

[Fit2Serve]

I started posting here in 2002 under the screen name balplayer. I was 25 years old then and really so excited and hungry to learn anything i could to start competing. I entered my first show and won. after that i was hooked. I chased my dream of winning a overall and state title. After many ups and downs and quitting for 5 years. In 2015 i finally reached that goal.

I came here and re read all the posts i had made. I learned that bodybuilding took me from a naive kid to a very bitter and hateful person. As much as i loved bodybuilding, it tore me up inside and made me not like what i had to do to become what i really thought i wanted. At the time i thought i was normal to be so obsessed about something. I thought it was ok to revolve your life around something that in the grand scheme of things meant very little.

Little did i know that the choices made then would have a huge impact on my life now. I find myself now after having reached the goal i wanted to so badly, to not feeling very fulfilled about it. I never would have thought that would be the case. Now i find myself asking what do i do from here? You can only take your body through so much. How do i transition into being someone who isn't constantly chasing something? How do i justify the training and supplement usage now? its been a long road and i want anyone who ever remembered me from those days to know i am thankful for all who helped me and gave their input. The is a wealth of information here and anyone starting out should be glad that they have access to it.

you don't justify it. its not justifiable. let it go...

I feel the same way you do about all of this. I held on to bb'ing long as I could. its over now and I am ok with it. had a good run. realize now it doesn't matter in the slightest. God, family, friends, health... that's all that matters. the rest is "a chasing of the wind." -King Solomon
-F2S

 

[Tom]

Now you concentrate on health and longevity with just a tiny touch of ego to look better than most of the others in your age group. I love being an old guy with abs ! LOL !

 

[21larolj]

Lol


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[prostock]

Yes sir

Now you concentrate on health and longevity with just a tiny touch of ego to look better than most of the others in your age group. I love being an old guy with abs ! LOL !

Hopefully Someday ull supass the oldguy gig and reach the antique status. Pickn up weights with guys half ur age is life extending. The abs are a plus though.. pro

 

[little slice]

OP



now that you reflect on your life, what would you have rather been doing?

 

[Joshua Smith]

After reflecting, i should have spent my time being more focused on career and education. At the time i was personal training and liked it. I was making decent money and i was in control as i was a independent contractor. After about 10 years of that i was burnt out giving people advice they they didn't care to listen to. So i stepped away from training as a job.

Now i realize that the only skill i had to make decent money i walked away from. I don't want to return to it, but i also regret Not building something else to use to sustain the rest of my life. I went back to school for a year, thinking i could be a PE teacher and that was brutal. I realized why i never finished school to begin with. Its not for me. Now I'm left with a body and mind that was so used to using supplements i don't even train anymore. I don't even want to start on the supplements again. But I'm not sure how else ill feel good again. Ive not lifted in 10 months.

 

[WeightMachine]

If you don't like the way your life is going...change it.

Stay positive

 

[JuiceRoad.com]

Stay Positive broda! Find something you truly love and keep doing it. If a man hasn;t found something he will die for, he isn't fit to live.

 

[Phidias]

Sadly, I can relate to your post so much, Balplayer, so much... and I think many here who started so young and - at the cost of everything else - gave it all to what should have just stayed a hobby, can... BB will steal your soul, and if it ever gives it back to you later in life, odds are unfortunately very high you'll find it quite damaged...

Welcome back anyway.

 

[Joshua Smith]

thank for your words phidias,

I wss just looking for someone to tell me they too can relate, so that id know at least it isn't just me, and maybe realize there is a way through what I'm experiencing. its very hard to find others who have lived the way we did as competitors. so many factors and complications. it would be hard to explain it to the average person. and since that is the case i never have talked about it at all.

After reading through my old posts here i saw just how bitter and angry competing made me. But i kept on going thinking id find relief in winning. well the relief wasn't there even after that. and thats a very hard pill to swallow.

 

[maldorf]

thank for your words phidias,

I wss just looking for someone to tell me they too can relate, so that id know at least it isn't just me, and maybe realize there is a way through what I'm experiencing. its very hard to find others who have lived the way we did as competitors. so many factors and complications. it would be hard to explain it to the average person. and since that is the case i never have talked about it at all.

After reading through my old posts here i saw just how bitter and angry competing made me. But i kept on going thinking id find relief in winning. well the relief wasn't there even after that. and thats a very hard pill to swallow.

Well, at least you have your health still? It sounds like you are still healthy after what you did? Just concentrate on living a healthy lifestyle and hopefully you will find a career that makes you happy. I am glad that you didn't have any major health problems like my heart attack. I ruined my life in more ways than one with bodybuilding.

 

[beastmode121]

Pics of such journey brah

 

[maldorf]

Pics of such journey brah

Here he is on the net.

Joshua Smith NPC NEWS ONLINE

 

[Fit2Serve]

OMG

OP



now that you reflect on your life, what would you have rather been doing?

LS you KILL me bro!!!! you said what I was thinking....!
-F2S

 

[Joshua Smith]

Here he is on the net.

Joshua Smith NPC NEWS ONLINE

Yes in 2015 i won the overall in my state championshiphttp://contest.bodybuilding.com/bio/312392/

 

[Marvin Martian]

Brother - I can't say that I went as far as you did in the BB competition world. I was probably fortunate to have a little success when competing but was driven to be a "business tycoon" - and well - that is where I have my regrets.
Don't beat yourself up man. You are still young and can do anything you want in life. I have started over so many times that I've lost count.
I could define my life as a compilation of mistakes - but the truth is that all of my successes and failures have given me a perspective that I couldn't otherwise have.
I would suggest meditation. It has changed the way I see the world and has also enlightened me on just how powerful we are. Our thoughts are the most powerful force in the universe (other than the source - God - whatever you choose to call).
Won't get too into this here because I know it can really be polarizing - but pm me if you like to talk more or I can point you in the direction where you can learn for yourself.
Life is awesome and living in the RIGHT NOW - that's the key to perpetual happiness.

Right now - I feel like having a nap - and it's gonna be GLORIUS!!

 

[Joshua Smith]

thanks marvin, very nice of you to share


I haven't figured out how to post links
**broken link removed**

 

[Marvin Martian]

thanks marvin, very nice of you to share


I haven't figured out how to post links
**broken link removed**

One thing that you can always call on when ANYTHING gets tough in life - is the success you have had in BB. See - when you look at things with a certain perspective - you can see that maybe what you thought of as a goal (BB) could end up being a means to a bigger goal. What I mean is twofold - 1. You hold on to that feeling of success. Because those feelings can be applied to new goals BEFORE you have even started. Your subconscious mind doesn't know the difference and will start out to apply that feeling of success to your new goal. 2. When times are tough you can remember how you overcame the challenges of hunger - exhaustion - aches and pains - sleeplessness. Then you start to realize that you are powerful and if you can beat one obstacle you can beat another!!!

Your pics CLEARLY show that you are willing to suffer for your goals.

Now - time for that nap !!!!

 

[jrock00123]

If bodybuilding is still an important part of your life, there's no need to let it go completely. Sure, competing on national level is probably out. In fact, competing at all may be over.

Don't let this discourage your love for the sport. Get healthy. Train your ass off. Learn to appreciate again the joy off bb without the pressure. You need to find balance with all of the things in life you feel are important.